


It Really Doesn't Help

by Midnight Musume (Peas)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bad Luck, Bodyguard, Dating, Disposable OCs - Freeform, Drinking, Drug Use, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Hot Mess Adrien Agreste, Lots of Akumas and Talking About Akumas, Murder, ladrien, the darkest timeline
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2020-02-28 16:58:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 85,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peas/pseuds/Midnight%20Musume
Summary: Ladybug is worried when she discovers that Hawk Moth is targeting tabloid king Adrien Agreste. As she focuses on keeping him safe, she starts to glimpse the lonely man underneath all of the unhealthy coping mechanisms. She wants to protect Adrien and save the world, but Ladybug may be very distracted by the feelings that she is harboring for him. It really doesn't help that he is the most attractive person she's ever met, and she keeps meeting him.Ladybug is the only one Adrien could let past his defenses because he knows that he won't have to protect her if he does. Maybe he can finally get through to her heart with this opportunity to share his real self with her. He can only hope that she won't hate him with all of his glaring faults and terrible luck, because Adrien is more in love with her now than ever before. It really doesn't help that he has to keep his most important secrets from her, especially when they're the things she should know.





	1. Chapter 1

"Chat, have you been drinking?" Ladybug pulls up beside her companion, her eyes still trained on the akuma.

"Not nearly enough," was his quick reply, "So what do we do? I think Moth's got the phone. Again."

"I can't let you fight under the influence," Ladybug hisses, "this keeps happening with you and the nighttime akumas."

"There are plenty of people out there that I've fought and won against when I was way more trashed than this. Sorry I'm not super perfect like you are or anything," Chat Noir twists his baton in his hands, also watching the villain, "Maybe we should just trap this chick and then do a lucky charm scheme."

"I don't want anything less than your best," Ladybug gives up. It's not like the cat is that drunk, his sentences are still normal. His face beneath the black mask is only slightly flushed. His costume ears are pressed back against his head. It should be fine, probably. It's not like this is the first time one of them has shown up less than sober. They had lives and akumas were unpredictable. Only it was becoming a norm for Chat.

"Anything for you, Punch Bug," Chat grins stupidly, taking off towards the monster of the week. Ladybug watches how his movements are more relaxed yet languid. She really is worried about him, but there isn't much that she can do about it. They don't speak to each other much anymore unless it's strategy for their never ending battles. Ladybug feels like she gets where Chat Noir is coming from. She's tired of it too. Being a very in demand superhero is exhausting. She mentally forgives her partner for partying or whatever he was doing in his civilian life and spins her yoyo out to launch herself after him. One Lucky Charm (golf club) and improvised airplane later, they've fixed everything back up to normal and delivered a distraught teen home.

"Told  _ mew _ it was the phone," Chat Noir flashes a wide, toothy grin at Ladybug. He's even more carefree than usual when he's like this.

"Kitty… if you need help or if you need to talk or something you know I'm here for you, right? It's too dangerous to fight like this."

"You can just fix it if something happens. You gotta go, you're flashing. Pound it," they fist bump automatically, completely in sync with it.

 

* * *

The woman behind the mask had more important things to worry about than an occasionally tanked teammate, even though she  _ was _ worried about that.  _ Come on, Marinette. Just act normal. What's normal even like, anyway? _ A failed mirror pep talk in the bathroom was just the thing to bring her down after a victory in battle. These runway after-parties were there stuff off legend and she'd be damned if she missed out, but they're was something extra today to throw her off. Adrien Agreste. They hadn't had much contact in years and he had acted all week like he hadn't seen her. But Marinette was going to make sure he saw her tonight. Even if they just said hello. Not like she expected him to flirt with her and she has a boyfriend anyway, but it was Adrien and his reputation for flirting preceded him. Marinette catches sight of the golden man next to a window, a woman under each of his arms. He's just got on a leather jacket and jeans, no shirt. Marinette had seen him undressed a few times over the course of the week during outfit changes but this was different. He was not a cute boy anymore, he was a deliciously built man. Marinette's face flushes as she checks him out and she knows it, feeling slightly guilty towards her own personal blonde. If she was going to talk to Adrien at all it was right now before he was too sloshed to speak or never. Or until next time. It's not like she doesn't see him or anything. It's not like they aren't in the same industry or anything. It's not like it's not a small world after all or anything. It's not like he's standing right in front of her face now or anything.

 

"Wow were you a model? I don't remember seeing you," Adrien snaps Marinette out of her decision making crisis. "You're very short!"

"Long time, no see," Marinette tries not to bristle at the dig. Adrien frowns, doing his best to try to place her. Marinette realizes that he doesn't recognize her. He hadn't been avoiding her for the past few days. Adrien just simply had no idea who she was. He didn’t remember her from school so he wouldn’t know who she was professionally, either. She has always just assumed he knew her, and here he was not knowing.

"Maybe we can have a repeat of how good the last time was?" He slides a hand smoothly around her waist. Adrien always did his best to live up to his reputation. Smooth and loveable and impossibly fucked up. "I saw you staring, was there something you needed?"

"I just wanted to say hello," Marinette feels like she should push him away but at the same time she really does not want to. It was completely unbelievable that  _ Adrien Agreste _ was coming on to her. That he was assuming that they had slept together before. That he was talking to her at all.

"Maybe I can say more than hello if you want," Adrien's face nearly grazes Marinette's, his breath hot against her forehead.

"Hey Adrien, Marinette's my girl," a cheerful laugh from aforementioned blonde. Adrien steps back from her quickly, holding both his hands in the air like Thierry was a cop. 

"No idea dude, didn't know you had a plus one! She's cute," Adrien winks at her.

"Man, she's the Style Coordinator. Like, for the whole show."

"Whaaaat? And we didn't like have a meeting together?" Adrien squints at Marinette.

"I know what you look like, we were childhood friends," Marinette decides to be honest, "I really did just want to say hello."

"Really? Shit I'm sorry! I'm really fucking drunk. What did you say your name was? I'm having a hard time placing you, I'm just drunk," he continues to squint his eyes at her and Marinette not totally sure if he just can't see her in the dimmed lighting or if he's being racist.

"Marinette," she sets air kisses at both of his cheeks, "I'll talk to you next time when you're sober."

"Good luck with that," Adrien laughs. It's bright and lovely and it's no wonder that the whole world is in love with him.

 

* * *

 

Adrien pries himself out of the pile of bodies in the bathroom and looks down at it, head spinning. He parses out that it's Thierry and Celene and Habiba and then Gilly and the stage director guy on the bed. Stefanie is by herself on the large hotel room chair, modestly covered up with the bathrobe and a pillow or three. Adrien's not sure who he slept with or didn't sleep with, but that's a good thing. He had been messed up enough to fall asleep on a tile floor and that's all that counted. He finds his jacket under the stage guy whose name he doesn't know and he pulls on the first pair of men's jeans that he can find. The good thing about partying with models is that you are all around the same size in clothes. His other belongings collected, Adrien slips out of the hotel room.

 

His motorcycle had to be somewhere. Like it didn't get towed  _ again _ , right? Of course it probably did, though. Why was his luck always this fucking terrible? First an akuma in the middle of the after party and then not remembering that girl and now this. Why was everything always an embarrassing mess?

"Agreste!" A crash. Adrien turns, balling up his fists in front of him at the sight of  _ another _ akuma. It hasn't even been a full ten hours since the last one. He hadn't even fed Plagg. Ladybug lifts him with ease and they swing through the damp air.

"It's after you," she says curtly to the model. Adrien frowns. She's always nice, she doesn't victim blame like this. She must be having a bad day.

"I mean it's only like… well it's only the first one in a while," he tries to justify to her. He really doesn't want Ladybug to hate Adrien.

"You gotta reign in all that lady killing. Stay here, you'll be safe," she squeezes his shoulder, already looking at how to leave him and return to the battle.

"Thank you, Ladybug." Adrien makes sure she's gone before transforming into Chat Noir and rushing off to join her.

 

"What's the deal with this one? A tentacle monster, really?"

"Adrien Agreste again."

"Moth's been targeting that dude since he was a kid," Chat dares.

"He could try to have some self awareness, though. If you know you keep causing all these people to hurt, you should probably stop doing that."

"Hawk Moth would go after him anyway."

"Why would you hate on an innocent kid and then keep hating him for fifteen more years?" Ladybug groans. Chat smirks to himself,  _ maybe because he knows that Adrien is Chat Noir _ .

"Anyway, you good?" Ladybug asks, "Not hungover or anything?"

"Didn't get the chance to feed Plagg so I'm not sure how long I have in the suit," he grimaces, feeling guilty about it. Ladybug nods her head in understanding.

"Let’s do it fast, then. Since there are multiple limbs you've got to get it to tangle itself. I'll get the akumatized flower and purify," Ladybug directs as said tentacle monster tosses a car down the street.

"D'accord!" Chat Noir winks.

 

 

* * *

 

"Is she okay?" Adrien asks as Ladybug lands on the platform. He felt like he remembered something like giving a girl a flower. It was a move he used a lot, so it all kind of blends together in a fuzzy drunken haze.

"Yes, but still upset. You've been on your best behavior for a few months but here we are again with the tabloids and the drinking and fighting and sleeping around," Ladybug crosses her arms over her chest and frowns, "What's going on this time?"

"Just shitty luck."

"Yeah? What's so unlucky that you have to go and use other people?" She's decidedly even more angry than she had been when she initially rescued him to this balcony. Adrien feels guilty. Having what he considers to be his best friend unknowingly scold him like a child really hits home. Here's a superhero wasting time out of her day to complain about how much of a fuccboi he is. This is what she thinks about the real him. He was used to hearing it in the third person, but this is something new.

"You can't use people to make yourself feel better."

"I didn't mean to do that. I just… want to feel good. I'm lonely," Adrien looks up at the sky. It's going to start raining very soon. He doesn’t have an excuse for his behavior, "All of that stuff makes me feel better."

"I'll talk to you if you need me to. Here," Ladybug takes his phone from his jacket pocket, "This is my phone number. I don't do this for a lot of people but you cause me enough problems as it is. We should both be more proactive."

"Wow. I'm a big fan, considering that you save me all the time. I never thought that I'd get your phone number" Adrien actually seems very pleased about it as she passes him back his phone.

"I have a boyfriend so don't get any ideas, heartbreaker," Ladybug winks at him and looks over the side of the railing, thinking about returning the fashion icon to the ground. The first drops of rain start to fall and Adrien shivers at it.

"Hey, can… could you do me a favor and take me home? It's raining and my motorcycle is impounded. I live kinda far away and I don't have my wallet because it was in my bike. Same with my keys so I'm locked out... but I always leave one of the windows open," Adrien usually wouldn't ask but  _ it's raining _ . Ladybug thinks about it for a few seconds and agrees. It really does seem like the model was having a bad day, whether or not she thought he deserved it.

 

* * *

 

Ladybug yelps in shock when Adrien just jumps off of her back and into his window. They are too high off the ground to risk things like that and he just did it  _ so confidently _ like he went around braving heights all the time. Which he didn't. Because he's Adrien Agreste. Ladybug follows him in, preparing another lecture. It's nice place. A  _ very _ nice place. It's the whole top floor of the building and it's been refinished for luxury and Adrien matches it perfectly. He looks like a living commercial or maybe a porno, peeling his wet leather jacket off and discarding it on the floor.  _ Adrien Agreste's apartment and no shirts _ . Ladybug feels like her face is probably heated again but she needs to focus.

"That was dangerous jumping in here like that!"

"You were there to catch me if I missed. Thank you for bringing me home in this weather. Is there anything I can do to return the favor?" Adrien glosses over her complaint effortlessly. Ladybug takes a deep breath, why was he so infuriating and so ripped and annoying and hot and rude and beautiful all at the same time? It's really hard to be mad at someone when they're so  _ polite _ . Even harder when they're the most gorgeous dude you've ever seen.

 

"I don't know,  _ you _ can take  _ me _ home now?" Ladybug jokes, her earrings starting to beep.

"I can take you wherever you want," Adrien tells her cooly, "Do you want a poncho? I keep one with me usually."

"That would be great, but I am already wet."

"You're going to change back and those clothes should be dry, right? Maybe you want an umbrella instead?" Adrien offers, turning to go find one of the anti-rain items. He trips over the leather jacket on the floor and lands in his puddle. Adrien groans miserably. Ladybug comes over and kneels briefly next to him.

"Adrien, are you okay?" she helps him up. He stares back at her blue eyes, his heart beating so hard it physically hurt. He was pretty sure he hadn’t heard his real name spoken to him as him out of the superheroine’s mouth since he was a teenager.

"I- I'm fine," Adrien manages to say even though he is somehow starstruck by this woman he sees multiple times a week.

"You really are unlucky, aren't you? I'm pretty clumsy in real life, myself. Believe it or not," Ladybug smiles.

"I don't think that I do," Adrien smiles at her, "let me get that rain poncho for you. I'll be fast."

"Don't rush, I have a few minutes. Don't want you falling again."

 

"So uh, Ladybug… nobody knows where I live so please don't let it get out," Adrien hands her the cube of folded plastic. It's a high quality rain poncho.

"Nobody? What about your friends and family?" Ladybug unfolds the plastic and pulls it on over her no-longer-fluffy pigtails. She's drenched.

"I don't have any of either, so it's not an issue."

"Maybe you should be befriending people instead of having one night stands with them. It might make you less lonely," Ladybug sighs like it really is a shame that such a person doesn't have anyone.

"Regardless, please keep my secret," Adrien shrugs, "You know, paparazzi and Hawk Moth and stuff. I need at least one safe spot."

"You think that Hawk Moth is targeting you? Chat Noir thinks that too," Ladybug frowns and her earrings beep again. 

"I guess he's mad he can't akumatize me or something," Adrien shrugs. It seems like a valid enough deflection. Not a lie, but also not telling her it’s because he’s her crime fighting partner.

"Really? He can't? Even with that rockstar lifestyle?" She obviously means getting blackout drunk or starting huge brawls in bars across Paris. Of course someone like that would typically get taken advantage of by their favorite villain easily. Alcohol doesn’t exactly provide you with a lot of resistance and resolve. 

"I guess I just repel the butterflies regardless of how fucked up I am." That part is true.

"Weird. That's good to know. I do have to get going now, so I guess I will be seeing you again probably. Try not to get into too much trouble."

"I don't have that kind of luck."

 

* * *

"Are you just getting back now? You left the party way before I did," Thierry is obviously very unhappy about it.

"I went out to run an errand and there was a tentacle akuma," Marinette wiggles all of her fingers in an imitation as an effort to lighten Thierry's mood. She pulls off the poncho that Adrien had given to Ladybug and balls it up so that it doesn't drip on the floor.

"There's always an akuma in your stories."

"But there really was!" Marinette does her best smile, "I promise."

"I'm so tired of this. You're never here. Is there somebody else? You  _ were _ getting really flirty with Adrien Agreste last night," Thierry frowns. Marinette freezes, completely shocked that he would accuse her of that. She would  _ never _ . 

"No! Of course there's nobody else but you. How could you think that? Adrien's just a friend from collège."

"He didn't seem to remember you."

"Collège was a really long time ago. But other than that, he is one of my models too!" Marinette throws her hands up.

"Yeah, exactly. Maybe you're just using your position to get closer to the male models you like. You have a type."

"Are you kidding?" Marinette is completely at a loss. She didn't realize that Thierry was even capable of thinking that way about her, "Do you think I'm taking advantage of you? Or are you just in this relationship to advance  _ your _ career?"

"No. No I don't, I'm just asking," he sighs, "I just don't like all this keeping secrets. I like you but I'm always worried and you are never around when I want you to be. I feel like I'm just going along with your flow all the time. I have needs too."

"What do you want me to do, Thierry?" Marinette asks weakly. He tells her to get her things and go.


	2. Chapter 2

"Where were you last time?" Ladybug snaps, having just sent the restored akuma victim on their way. Chat recoils a bit. He knew she was upset with him but hadn't realized just how much.

"Um… maybe personal information," he cringes.

"Just leave out the details," Ladybug crosses her arms. Chat melts under her stare, he can't stand it.

"I was arrested, so I didn't even know there was an akuma until the next morning."

" _ Chat _ ," Ladybugs eyes are wide with shock, "what happened?"

"Don't like Google for me or anything, but there was a fight in a bar I was at and maybe I am really good at fighting…"

"Ugh, you are just as bad as Adrien Agreste. Stop trying to emulate him," Ladybug rolls her eyes.

"It was the same catfight," Chat Noir knows he's going out on a very risky limb here.

"You fought  _ Adrien _ ?! It was a  _ strip club _ ! Chat!!"

"Hey we don't all have perfect boyfriends to go home to. I'm a man and I like that stuff sometimes too. It's normal," the cat argues his case mostly for Adrien's benefit. Ladybug seems particularly distraught over it. 

 

"But you're a superhero! He's not."

"It's not like I went to look at boobs  _ as _ Chat Noir. It's not setting a bad example or anythi… are you okay, Bugster? I feel like you'd usually kind of laugh about this. I did hit Adrien, if that makes you feel better?"

"Not really."

"Anything I can lend a paw with? Or an ear?" He offers gently.

"My perfect boyfriend kicked me out. I'm staying with some friends, but… I'm sorry for taking it out on you."

"No way anybody broke up with  _ Ladybug _ ," Chat blinks in disbelief. She'd been dating this mystery guy for over a year, before that she had been on a lot of dates to rebound from her long term romance with the Snake miraculous guy. Her heartbreak after that was painful for him to watch, so Chat had been content that she had found someone that it worked out with.

"He thought I was cheating on him because I'm gone so much for Ladybug stuff. I learned later that he was the one cheating on me. There was some other stuff too, because we work together sometimes…" Ladybug sighs, "Maybe I should go get in a bar fight with Adrien Agreste too."

"I'm sure he'd let you do a lot more to him than fight," Chat wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. Ladybug's shoulders bounce with a silent laugh.

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up. Try not to get arrested again, Tiger. See you next time."

 

* * *

 

Marinette can’t stop herself from pulling up the gossip websites from a few days before when not only her old classmate and now occasional employee got arrested at a strip club, but literally her  _ favorite superhero  _ had as well. Unbelievable. What immature losers. There aren’t any clear photographs of any of the people involved in the fight aside from international supermodel slash tabloid king Adrien Agreste.  _ Attention whore. _ Marinette closes out of all the browser tabs, ridiculing herself for even going to check at all. She didn’t even want to know who Chat Noir was! He was just Chat Noir. Sassy and carefree. Her burner phone starts to ring and she scrambles madly across the room to retrieve it.

“Good evening, you’ve reached the office of Lady Bug,” she composes herself and puts on a robotic voice. There’s a rowdy cackle from the other side of the line.

“Oh my god! You’re fucking hilarious! I knew it!” Speak of the devil.  _ Adrien Agreste himself. _ Marinette was getting a little annoyed at how he was really starting to take up so much room in her brain the last month.

 

“Are you drunk?”

“Ah… yes! Yes. I Am. Absolutely.”

“Listen, I didn’t really give you this number so that you could-” she tries. She really does. But he’s drunk and he obviously doesn’t care at all if Ladybug were a decent person with a normal sleep schedule or not or whether or not she has time to waste babysitting hot mess people. Maybe Hot Mess more literally in Adrien’s case than for the normal caller.

“I don’t have anyone else to call,” was the whine, “Today I was… well I deleted six hundred photos from a week of photoshoots and then my shoelace broke and some chick slapped me but the main point is that I locked myself out of my condo again.”

“That’s really impressive. You should go play the lottery,” Marinette blinks. It kind of reminds her of herself, still. Adrien clears his throat.

“Can you help me get up to the window again? Ladybug!” it seems like he’s probably performed some sort of wild gesture to go with the ‘Ladybug’ shout. Marinette can’t stop herself from letting out a little laugh. In addition to the man’s undeniable attractiveness, he was endearing. He’s not  famous for nothing. Every time the gossip mill starts to run against him, he does something insanely loveable.

 

* * *

 

“What do you usually do when you lock yourself out?” Ladybug wraps an arm around his waist and Adrien is reminded of how much smaller she is than him. Ladybug always seems larger than life except for when you are being impressed that she is picking you up. Literally lifting you eight stories while you probably weigh twice as much as she does.  _ Fuck, what about her question? _

“Locksmith?” Adrien fumbles as Ladybug shoots her yoyo out like a grappling hook. Being drunk isn’t helping him think. Having his body pressed up against  _ Ladybug’s _ is doing the opposite of helping. The fact that she is here willing to do this for him at all isn’t helping, either. Adrien wasn’t totally sure why he was feeling so stunned by her. He  _ knows _ her. He knows her better than anyone. Ladybug gently places the model into his penthouse.

“Then next time maybe you should call a locksmith. I don’t need to be making housecalls in the middle of the night,” Ladybug sits in on his windowsill.

“You’re so nice, doodlebug,” Adrien reaches his hand out to the window frame to steady himself, leaning in close to Ladybug’s face in the process. He smiles, “Thank you.”

“Maybe I just feel a little sorry for you is all.”

“Sorry? For me? I’ve got more money than I can even give away,” Adrien laughs. He rubs one of her pigtail ribbons between his thumb and forefinger, fascinated with it in only a way that comes from the effects of tequila.

 

“Careful you don’t push me out this window,” Ladybug smiles at him. It’s interesting to her to see Adrien Agreste be like this. It wasn’t that he was drunk but that he seemed vulnerable and needy somehow. He still carried himself with ease and spoke with a cheery humility that feels really comfortable and effortless. It doesn’t hurt that his shirt sleeves hold tight around his forearm muscles and his hair is disheveled and his face slightly rosy.

“You might be the only person I could never hurt,” Adrien’s voice is low and Ladybug feels her heart skip a beat. She meets his green eyes and they stare deeply at each other for a moment, a million questions and answers being wordlessly exchanged. Adrien pulls back with a start.

“I’m so sorry! I was flirting! I didn’t mean to! I’m drunk, I’m drunk. I forgot you told Adrien you have somebody. I didn’t mean to hit on you, you’re a superhero and why do I have to ruin everything?” he rubs his face and turns away from her.

“It’s fine,” Ladybug breathes, her heartbeat rushing in her ears. He was flirting with her? Again? Adrien Agreste?

“I just really have always admired you so much and I want to be friends with you and I don’t want to ruin it, but I don’t know how to act. I don’t talk to a lot of people so I’m so sorry that I’m so weird. I didn’t mean to be inappropriate, Ladybug.”

“You really apologize a lot when you do,” Ladybug giggles at him, stepping down from the window, her ego boosted more than just a little. Adrien fucking Agreste wants to be friends with Ladybug and maybe flirt with her. He looks up to her!

“I don’t like for people to be mad at me,” he rubs his hands violently through his hair, making it even more disheveled. It was longer at the top and shaved up at the back, kind of like how Chat’s has been for a few years.  _ Stop thinking about Chat Noir, _ Ladybug scolds herself. 

“Oh… then I’m sorry if I upset you when I told you off the other day about that akuma,” Ladybug says gently. 

 

“No. I needed to hear it,” Adrien goes over to the kitchen area that honestly looks more like a bar, “Are you going to stay? Can I get you a drink or something? I have juice if you don’t drink.”

“You’re going to keep drinking?” Ladybug blinks as he produces two glasses and starts pouring from bottles. He was maybe trying to… show off a little for her?

“Well yeah, I’m still awake. Do you want something else? Hey would you like to watch a movie with me? If it takes too long I have some costume masks from some old fashion thing if you want to wear one of those,” Adrien offers, already shaking his cocktail shaker. He looks up at Ladybug after pouring and is startled by the look on her face, “Oh man that’s all out of line too, isn’t it? You didn’t even say that you  _ did _ want to be my friend. Do you just want to go? My feelings won’t be hurt, I get it. It’s kind of dangerous to associate with me.”

“You really are all alone, aren’t you?” Ladybug crosses her arms. It’s suspicious that someone as eager for companionship as Adrien seems to be would be as lonely as he is. Ladybug takes the small tumbler and risks a sip. It was actually pretty good.

“I don’t want you to stay out of pity, I do that to enough women as it is,” Adrien smiles.

“I’ll try not to be one of your women,” Ladybug laughs.

“Shit, don’t you have like… a boyfriend? Shouldn’t you be with him right now?”

“Oh, that’s over. I’m just staying with some friends right now anyway. They know I’m Ladybug, so they understand if I stay out.”

 

Adrien’s glass falls to the floor and shatters. Very dramatic.

“Oh! That’s not good. Are you okay? Don’t move!” Ladybug holds out her hands, looking around the room for a broom or something.

“Th… they know who you are? Isn’t your identity super secret?”

“It is, it was an accident. But they’re some of the other superheroes, so it’s okay.”

“Rena Rouge?” Adrien swallows.

“Yeah,” Ladybug nods cheerfully, shuffling over and bending down to gather up the chunks of glass. She could trust her suit to not get cut.

“What about Chat Noir? Does he know?”

“No. It’s funny but I can’t even imagine him being a normal person. I know he wants to know, but I like it this way,” Ladybug is saying. Adrien takes a step back, right onto some glass. There’s a string of expletives from both of them. Adrien tells her where his first aid kit is and the next fifteen minutes is spent fixing his foot and cleaning up. Neither of them bring up the topic of boyfriends or identities again.

 

* * *

 

“Have you seen  _ Mon Oncle _ ?” Adrien flashes her a smile like he could blow away a thunderstorm with just his face. He probably could do that, though.

“Um… no,” Ladybug isn’t sure, to be honest. It sounds familiar?

“Oh man, it’s so funny… what about  _ Some Like it Hot _ ? It’s in English, though. Do you know any English? You’ll laugh so hard,” Adrien turns back to his wall of Blu-Rays, leaning in close to read the titles.

“I don’t think I’ve seen that, either. I don’t really watch a lot of movies or anything.”

“What about anime?”

“No, it usually makes me think of superhero work. I used to watch some romance ones back in university.”

“What do you even do for fun?” Adrien complains, putting his hands on his hips. It’s cute.

“I used to play video games, but I don’t really have a lot of free time. I work a lot and then Ladybug…”

“I  _ am _ keeping you here, aren’t I? You don’t have to waste your time, Ladybug. I appreciate you being an elevator and a doctor for me,” he visibly deflates. Ladybugs stomach twists. There’s something about seeing how disappointed he is that makes her want to do something about it. Like he doesn’t deserve to feel that way. He doesn’t have to give up so easily. So quickly.

“How about you just put in  _ Mon Oncle _ and I can decide if this was a mistake later,” Ladybug suggests.

“Definitely not a mistake,” Adrien brightens again. Immediately. How can this grown man can be  _ that innocent _ ? Ladybug suppresses the need to breathe faster.

 

Adrien Agreste falls asleep almost instantly, curled up on the couch. Maybe less falls asleep and maybe more like passes out. Ladybug can’t manage get into the movie at all while there’s a sleeping supermodel so close to her. It’s an impossible task. Not even just any supermodel. Adrien, who she worshipped so much back as a teenager and now tried to get on as many projects as she could for her. Ladybug stands up, deciding to walk around to release some of the extra energy she was finding herself burdened with. She finds Adrien’s office, which has plenty of serious piles of paperwork and computers and a printer but is mostly  _ completely filled  _ with Ladybug items. Collectibles, figures. The fancy stuff. He could definitely afford it. Some of his practical items have Ladybug on them too. There’s not even any Chat Noir anywhere. Ladybug finds herself smiling. Adrien hadn’t been lying. He really was a big fan. She finds a pad of ladybug print sticky notes and scribbles out a little note, ‘Awesome collection!’ and signs it with a little doodle of an actual ladybug. Ladybug sticks it to his computer screen. She carries the sticky notes and pen with her to explore the rest of the penthouse. His bedroom is surprisingly small for the size of the place and his full size bed was stacked full of pillows. There’s a home gym in another room, Ladybug leaves an encouraging note there. The bathroom is parse. There’s a lot of cheese in the fridge with the beer and juice. There is some cat furniture around but no real evidence of him having a cat currently. There’s an empty hamster cage in a closet and her heart wrenches, she has one of those too. There are no photographs anywhere or anything or anyone. Ladybug writes ‘Don’t forget your keys!!’ on another note and attaches it to his front door. She covers him up with a blanket, pauses the film, and turns off his gigantic television before leaving.


	3. Chapter 3

“Hey, you’re looking pretty cheerful for a dude who’s limping,” Thierry greets. Adrien laughs heartily.

“I had a pretty good night,” Adrien winks, “Hey, I thought about it and I do think I remember your girl. She was like class president or something when I was 14.”

“It’s cool, we broke up anyway.” Thierry pulls on a long, big coat.

“Oh man, sorry.”

“Nah, she has some other dude on the side. This is her shoot today, too. Really not looking forward to it. So what happened to you this time? Twist an ankle?”

“Something like that,” Adrien feels a little confused, but he’s not good at keeping track of what happened when anyway. He was pretty sure the same day he met Thierry’s ex-girlfriend was the same day they had the hotel orgy. But who knows? Does it even matter? Some other models show up and different topics of gossip consume all of them. Who is going to be working with which companies for what fall/winter lines, this new person in the industry or that one. Did you hear so-and-so is having a party Friday? Hey any of you have any coke on you? Maybe they should all go out drinking later. Has anyone tried keto? How are you still here at 30, what kind of skin care routine are you using?

 

Adrien checks his butt in the mirror and then surveys the dressing room for staff. There’s a small woman furiously going through the racks.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt but can I keep these pants? I can buy them,” Adrien gives her his best smile.

“O-oh. Um… yeah. Yeah, you can just have them. It’s fine! If um… you want anything else, you can help yourself!” she’s flustered. Understandable. He was an international supermodel, after all. And he is also only wearing leather pants right now.

“Haha! Thank you! But I don’t know if the big bosses at MDC will like you giving all the samples away,” he teases. This renders the woman speechless. A memory rushes at Adrien. “Oh you’re Thierry’s… um… sorry. Sorry. Marinette, right? Listen, I thought about it after I saw you at the afterparty last month and I do think I remember you. You were class president, right?”

“Y-yeah. I sat behind you for two years,” Marinette visibly relaxes and then freezes up again, “ _ oh no _ I have to focus. Hold on, I’m looking for something.”

“Can I help?”

“No, just… you had a um… jacket that goes with that. And boots?” Marinette suggests. 

“Right. I’ll get dressed. Maybe we can go catch up after this is over?” he asks, taking a step back as she steps forward to continue down the rack of clothing. The other models are filing into the room now for their outfit changes.

“Um… I’d like to, I really would, but… I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she looks sad.

“That’s fine! Thanks for the pants, Marinette,” he says, accepting her rejection immediately. Marinette is already rushing out the door with a dress, having found whatever she was looking for. 

 

The boots are his size but don’t fit right over the bandage on the sole of his foot. Maybe he will ask Marinette if there’s a size up available. There’s screaming. Akuma. Adrien looks through the room quickly. It’s too crowded for hiding places and there aren’t any easy exits for Chat Noir either. The models are already rushing the doors. Ladybug appears, closing the main door back behind her and yelling for everyone to calm down.

“It’s another slime akuma. You can’t touch it or you’ll be paralyzed. Just stay here and you should be safe!” Ladybug announces. Adrien’s chest swells with affection and pride. She’s wonderful. He watches Ladybug open her yoyo, she’s calling Chat Noir. He clenches his fist, the ring vibrates minisculely against his palm. He would just have to wait.

“Augh where is that cat?” she hisses and then takes a look around at the room. Their eyes meet.

“You’re saving me again!” Adrien scrunches his nose at her encouragingly, “Told you I was unlucky. This is a  _ sticky _ situation, huh?”

“Dude, we are  _ all _ unlucky today,” Thierry complains at him. Adrien shrugs. He knows that Hawk Moth is targeting the photoshoot because he knows that he’s there. It’s not a secret that Adrien has a contract with MDC. This happened a few times before. Actually a lot of few times. Not just MDC, everyone that Adrien has a or did have a contract with. It’s incredible that people hadn’t realized the connection yet. There’s a bang against the wall.

 

“Come on, we need to move into the stairwell and evacuate!” Ladybug points over at the door at the back of the room behind some clothing racks and the group scrambles for it, “Adrien! Where are your shoes?”

“Unlucky!” he huffs at her. Ladybug picks him up and sets him over her shoulders, following behind the group of people into the hall and down the emergency stairwell.

“You don’t have to carry me!” it’s embarrassing.

“You’ll step on something again or trip or stub your toe, cursed with all that bad luck,” Ladybug seems merry enough about the situation, “Come on everyone! Two more floors! Keep going outside! Get as far away as you can!”

“What about the people that were on set?” Adrien feels a little bit of anxiety about it, even though he knows they’ll be perfectly fine after Ladybug beats the akuma.

“No time,” is the cold answer. The group bursts out into the street and Ladybug spirits him into a tree, “You should be ok here. I’ll come back for you later, ok?”

“Thank you,” Adrien smiles at her. It’s a hiding spot with enough cover to transform once she’s gone.

 

“Don’t touch any of the slime. Seems like Moth is targeting Adrien Agreste after all. That’s an assistant from his photoshoot.”

“Yeah, I heard MDC can be demanding,” Chat Noir nods his head, “So the item is like a safety pin or something?”

“Spot on, kitten,” Ladybug sighs with guilt. Chat squints through his green lenses. He zeroes in on the akuma, worried. It was probably Marinette that had been akumatized. She had seemed so stressed and was in a rush. He had probably made her fall too far behind by talking to her.

“Wanna  _ Mission Impossible _ it, Lady?” Chat Noir asks.

“You know I don’t know what you mean,” Ladybug grumbles at him.

“I’ll distract her and you drop down like a spider on a string and snatch the pin from wherever it is.”

“That could work. Want a charm?”

“Always! Just to see what we get.”

“Yeah I know.  _ LUCKY CHARM! _ ” It’s a bag of salt. Chat smirks, completely delighted.

 

* * *

 

Chat Noir seems confused when the akuma dissipates and the victim is normal again. It’s Delphine. Ladybug helps the woman up and then huddles with Chat Noir.

“We need to do something about Adrien Agreste. Meet me at Sacre-Coeur tonight at 22h and we will go find him together.”

“I can’t,” his expression is strange.

“Really? Got a date?” Ladybug prods. It would be good for Chat to date someone, she hadn’t heard about him dating before and he obviously didn’t have anyone if he was spending time fighting in strip clubs. He did kind of seem like he might be one of those guys that is hard to get along with, or acts like a spaz when out on a date. Overbearing and clingy once you expressed interest in him, probably. It’s a shame because he is very endearing once you get to know him.

“Personal stuff. I can get out for an akuma, but not otherwise. You can talk to him without me, can’t you? If you two are going to flirt I really don’t have to be there.”  _ Is he jealous? _

“I’m not going to flirt with him, Chat. I think we should strategize.”

“You can fill me in later. I’ll meet you at noon tomorrow in the library.”

“It’s been a long time since I went there,” Ladybug laughs, “alright. It’s a date. See you then.”

“Good work today, bugster. Pound it.”

 

“Adrien! How’s the tree?” Ladybug swings in.

“Oh, it’s a really good tree, doodlebug. Maybe the best one on this block,” he yawns, “There was a pigeon that came by earlier. Did you cleanse the monster?”

“Everything is fine now,” she takes extra care with the sentence to reassure him. 

“Good. I need a drink.”

“You need to go back to work now, don’t you? And you need some shoes. Here, I’ll give you a lift.”

“I really appreciate you protecting me like this. You could just let me get trapped by the monster and returned to normal later like everyone else,” Adrien is saying as he clings to her. Small fireworks go off inside of Ladybug’s heart. She steals a glance down at his face. It’s so close and so unusual to see him from this angle. His eyelashes are more noticeable, his skin is perfect and soft looking.

“Remind me to use that strategy next time.”

“Hey, I was trying to suck up so we can keep doing this damsel in distress thing. I like getting rescued for a change.”

“Don’t go getting into trouble just so I can save you.”

“Sorry to disappoint but I am the walking embodiment of trouble,” Adrien laughs that magnificent laugh, “But please continue to save me.”

 

* * *

 

“Hey! Marinette! Actually... something happened to my foot yesterday. Is there another pair of boots a size up?”

“Oh… I think so. You’re a 43, right?” she nods her head.

“How did you know?” he likes her even more than he already did. It’s really unbelievable that a girl like this would cheat on Thierry. She rushes away quickly and Adrien turns to see Thierry himself.

“You’re flirting with her again? Really want to stay on here after turning 30, don’t you?” Thierry teases lightly. 

“I’m not ancient. I can model  _ Gentlemen’s _ outfits soon,” Adrien laughs, “Then maybe stock images for hospitals and old people’s homes.”

“Be careful, she will eat you up and not in a good way,” Thierry shrugs, “She just uses her position to sleep with us and throw us out for the next one. She can have her pick of anyone she wants.”

“What are you talking about?” Adrien scoffs cheerfully. He was so lost and knew it was easier just to go along with it.

“Here are the 44s, Adrien. Hello Thierry,” Marinette nods at the other blonde. Adrien pulls on the boots and bends over to tie the laces, not wanting to get involved with any drama.

 

“Hey Mari. It was a real akuma today, wasn’t it?”

“Yep. I didn’t even see it coming before it froze me,” Marinette’s smile is obviously forced. She looks upset.

“What’d you say to Delphine to upset her so much?” Thierry asks. Marinette sets her jaw angrily and doesn’t respond. Adrien cringes to himself, but it is weird that an assistant would have been rude enough to another assistant to akumatize them. It felt even weirder that it was someone like Marinette, but maybe Thierry was right. Maybe she was just being nice to him to get in his pants.   
“Can I grab one of those messenger bags for Rolly? I think he’d like it,” Thierry requests simply to break the silence. 

“Of course. Help yourself,” Marinette allows.

“You’re going to get in trouble with MDC too if you keep giving stuff away,” Adrien glances up. Marinette laughs sarcastically and waves her hand, walking away.

“Adrien.”

“Yeah?”

“That bitch is MDC.”

“ _ Excuse me _ ?” Adrien chokes. Thierry claps him on the shoulder.

 

* * *

 

“I heard she slept her way to the top back when she was interning at Gabriel,” Ravi is saying. And at the mention of the name, all the eyes at the table immediately move to Adrien.

“I wouldn’t know,” Adrien shakes his head. It’s common knowledge he’s had no contact with his father in a very long time, much less even with his father’s brand.

“I bet she did,” Thierry breaks the tension, “She’s so two-faced.”

“She seems fine to me, dude,” Hamid is the one that speaks up in defense of Marinette.

“That’s because you haven’t fucked her yet,” Thierry laughs, raising his beer glass. Some of the other guys clink glasses with him and some don’t.

“I’m gonna get shots, who wants what?” Adrien sighs. He memorizes the other model’s orders and stumbles his way over to the bar. He catches sight of a flash of red. He steadies himself against the bartop and the bartender asks him what he wants. Adrien keeps staring at the spot behind the bar where he had seen her as he rattles off the liquors. The bartender turns away to get out the shot glasses.

“Lady?” Adrien mumbles. There’s no indication of a response so he checks his Rolex. Not ten at night yet. But she was definitely here.

“Here you go, do you need help carrying them?” the bartender finishes pouring out the shots.

“Nope, I’m experienced!” Adrien grins, pulling out his wallet.

 

Ladybug watches Adrien wobble his way to the restroom and moves into position to catch him on the way out. She had meant to get him earlier but the partying models’ conversations had really hit her hard. She wasn’t going to show emotions to anyone as Ladybug. Especially not Adrien Agreste. Especially when he had been involved in said conversation.

“I saw you,” Adrien startles her.

“You’re drunk,” Ladybug observes his swaying frame.

“Yes ma’am,” he smirks, “Do you wanna leave with me?”

“That might be for the best,” Ladybug takes his hand and leads him.

“Your place or mine?” he jokes as she pulls him out into the dreary night. It’s a dark alleyway. Ladybug knows it’s not really her style to have a conversation in a place like this but she doesn’t feel up for going anywhere else anymore.

“Hawk Moth is really coming after you. It has to be more than being able to resist akumas,” she’s been thinking about it. Thinking about it way more than she should have been. There were plenty of people that had resisted akumatization.

 

“There’s… a reason. But I can’t tell you.”

“I’m  _ Ladybug _ . I’ll protect you. Whatever it is,” she insists. What could Adrien Agreste possibly have that Hawk Moth wanted?

“No… no, I really can’t,” he sounds so remorseful about it that Ladybug’s heart softens for him a little bit.

“But there is a reason?”

“Yup,” Adrien turns away from her and retches.

“Let’s get you home,” Ladybug sighs once he’s done. It probably is a terrible idea to go swinging around with a puking drunk clinging to her. She’s going to have to get a taxi for him.

“Can… Ladybug. Ladybug, do you know how to drive a motorcycle?” Adrien is swaying.

“A motorcycle?”

“I remembered my keys! Thanks to you!” he digs around in his pocket and Ladybug realizes that he’s still wearing the leather pants from the photoshoot. The ones that made his ass look great, not that his ass doesn’t look great anyway. He is jingling keys in front of her face.

“I guess I can try,” Ladybug takes them, “Where is this motorcycle, then?”

 

He clings so tightly to her waist, his forehead pressed against the top of her helmet. He’s yelling directions at her even though she knows Paris like the back of her hand. Ladybug is a little worried that maybe someone will see them like this, maybe a paparazzi will get a photo, but with the helmets it’s likely that Adrien wouldn’t be recognized. A little harder for her to not be recognized in her suit. It should be okay.  _ Ladybug’s done worse things, I guess. _ She basically has to carry him into the building when they get there. Adrien’s having a hard time keeping his eyes open and he’s mumbling nonsense about akumas and hiccuping. He squints at her when she deposits him onto his small bed.

“Yer fuzzier than normal, m’lady,” his smile is sideways and he’s pulling off his (vintage?) Jagged Stone tee. Ladybug sighs. There is no way that she can talk to him like this. He’s too drunk and too disrobed now for either of them to manage anything. Why did he have to keep being so shirtless around her all the time? Did he just hate wearing clothes?

“Where are you going? Stay with me,” the pathetic whine when she turns away from him. He catches her wrist. It feels like her heart breaks, somehow. Ladybug swallows.

“I’ll be right back. I’m going to get you some water, Adrien.”

“Adrien?”  he hiccups, looking down at his hands and frowning. Ladybug stifles a laugh and goes to get him some water. Adrien is passed out by the time she gets back.


	4. Chapter 4

“Ladybug?” Adrien mumbles in confusion, rubbing his eyes. His head is pounding and his body feels shaky. There is no way Ladybug is sitting at his dining table so casually.

“I was hoping you’d be up before noon. I have another appointment.”

“Why are you here?” he stutters out. Ladybug frowns.

“You don’t remember? I brought you home and you asked me not to leave you alone,” she tells him like it’s simple and not the biggest thing to ever happen to him. He mentally runs through everything from the day before. Notes from Ladybug, photoshoot, slimy paralyzing akuma, MDC, drinking.

“I uh… don’t. I’m so sorry, Ladybug. I don’t think I wanted to guilt trip you into staying here,” Adrien leans against the refrigerator. He didn’t really want Ladybug to have to see him that way. He knew that he must be making a terrible impression. Ladybug was going to think he was a mess.  _ She wouldn’t be wrong, though. _ She lived in Paris, too. It was certain that she knew about his reputation already, anyway. Adrien knew that it was probably pointless to put on a good act for her.

“I don’t mind. Like I said, I’m staying with friends anyway so it makes no real difference. Your place is much bigger, though!” Right. She was roomies with Rena Rouge somehow without ever mentioning it to Chat. 

“Do you want anything? I have um… protein shakes? A banana,” he almost laughs at himself except for that it makes him feel queasy, “Oh no, I didn’t throw up on you or something, did I?”

“You don’t have to look so mortified!”

“It would be just my luck to hurl on  _ Ladybug _ ,” Adrien groans.

“You didn’t, I was safely out of the splash zone,” she reassures him with a giggle, “But you were really out of it. Is something wrong? Were you upset about the akuma?”

 

“I guess? There’s… this person I’m working with where I really embarrassed myself with yesterday, too. Believe it or not, the fashion industry is pretty brutal socially,” Adrien pours some water into his Keurig and slams a cup in, leaning down to rest his forehead on the machine as it works. Today has already gotten off to a bad start.

“At that MDC photoshoot with the slime akuma?”

“I guess I can tell you. There was a girl I was hitting on and it turned out she was actually MDC  _ the person _ and the other guys thought I was trying to suck up. I’m getting older, so it’s… I’m better than that, still. Maybe.” Adrien lifts his mug from the machine and delivers the life saving liquid to his mouth.

“You’re the biggest male model in the world. I don’t think you will have to stoop to their level. You shouldn’t be embarrassed because you flirted with someone. Who wouldn’t want to get hit on by Adrien Agreste?” Ladybug is saying. Adrien narrows his eyes at her, feeling nauseous from daring to put anything into his stomach.

“What about you? Can I flirt with you now that you’re available?” Adrien is shocked at his own audacity but keeps cool. Ladybug is  _ blushing _ . Adrien swallows, his chest lifting with the smallest glimmer of hope. He tries to suppress that back down. This is Ladybug. He would ruin her.

 

“Adrien...why doesn’t a guy like you have a girlfriend? Or somebody?” is how Ladybug responds to his question, “You’re funny and really popular. You get along great with people, everyone loves you.”

“Yeah… I just…” Adrien runs his hands through his hair in frustration. Why did she have to ask that? He couldn’t tell her it was because he was Chat Noir and his father is Hawk Moth. He couldn’t tell her it’s because he was kind of in love with her. He couldn’t tell her it’s all because of who Adrien Agreste is and everything about him.

“You  _ can _ tell me. I’m not going to tell your secrets to people,” Ladybug offers kindly. Adrien’s heart skips in his chest again and his headache warps.

“I don’t want anyone to get hurt. I’m really dangerous, Ladybug.”

“How so?” she seems confused by it like she hadn’t directly been witness to over a dozen instances of his bad luck recently.

“I’m Adrien Agreste. Can you imagine the harassment that would happen to someone that dated me? Hawk Moth is after me too and I don’t want anyone to get caught in the crosshairs. All of that, plus my bad luck? Recipe for disaster. Mainly people just want to sleep with me because I’m hot, so I am fine with giving them that much but nothing more. I am careful not to get too close to anyone.”

“Is that why you left your father?” Ladybug asks. Adrien feels dizzy.

 

She knows she made a mistake asking about Gabriel. Adrien suddenly seems exponentially more dejected than before. Ladybug rises to her feet. She doesn’t have a lot of time left before her meeting with Chat but she needs to have the conversation with Adrien that she meant to have the night before first. She was getting too distracted by his half-nakedness and his flirting and his absolute, unhesitant honesty. He trusted her and he was giving her as much as he could, and Ladybug knew that. 

“I might have left my father for those reasons if I hadn’t had other reasons. We just didn’t have a healthy relationship with each other. I was eighteen and could escape, so I did. That’s what it was,” Adrien tells her hesitantly. Ladybug nodded her head. Unbeknownst to him, she did know Gabriel. It made sense and she understood it.

“I’m sorry for making you talk about it. I actually wanted to discuss Hawk Moth more with you, that’s why I’m still here anyway,” Ladybug sighs. 

"What about him?" Adrien's face pales. Is he going to be sick again?

"He's just not coming after you to get you akumatized, he is trying to get  _ you _ . Do you have something that he wants or something? Maybe we can help you so that he will leave you alone or maybe we can help protect you better if you need it. I want you to have a normal life, you deserve to live without being scared of him," Ladybug explains supportively. She really is not getting a lot of confidence about the whole thing from the way that Adrien is looking at her.

"We? You and catboy? You're already doing more than enough."

"Do you not like Chat?" Ladybug finds herself asking out loud even though it was only meant to be an internal thought. Adrien had a lot of Ladybug merch but specifically nothing with Chat Noir on it.

"I love him," Adrien defends. Ladybug frowns in confusion.  _ Love? _ "He's funny and he protects you. He lifts you up. It's noble. He wants to help just as much as you. Without him the whole thing would be way more depressing than it already is."

 

"Probably," Ladybug giggles at it, "I might not still be around if not for him. We've been doing this a long time now. I can’t imagine being on my own."

"Yeah... I know it's bad to think this but I don't know if I can imagine a world where it stops. I almost don’t want all of this akuma stuff to end."

"I think that too, sometimes,” Ladybug confesses. Adrien takes another sip of coffee.

“I said this because I  _ could _ end it, but I can’t,” he’s calculating. He’s going to tell Ladybug what information he knows and see how she reacts. He’s kept it all in him for so long. Adrien opens a bottle of painkillers and sorts out three of them to have with his single banana.   
“What do you mean, you could end it?” the red hero asks, and Adrien knew that she would.

“I know Hawk Moth’s identity and his motivation. I can’t tell anyone, even you. But I could still be a liability. That’s one of the reasons he targets me,” Adrien explains.

“Why can’t you tell me?” Ladybug looks completely mortified. Adrien stifles his instinct to crack a joke to reassure her.

“I can’t tell you why because it would be the same as telling you. I’m not on his side, I swear. There’s just stuff… preventing me.”

“Is he blackmailing you?” Ladybug is obviously racking her brain for a way for this to make sense.

“More or less,” Adrien whispers carefully. It’s that Hawk Moth also knows his identity, and that even if he and Ladybug both knew about Gabriel, there would still be nothing they could do about it. Adrien had tried for years to figure out ways to stop him, and there wasn’t one.

 

* * *

 

“Chat, are you transformed?”

“No, this is a library. That would ruin my image,” Chat’s quiet laughter rings through the stacks. He is in the next aisle. Marinette can look through the gap and see his chest. Just a nondescript white button-down. Chat’s always been taller than her. She remembers that she doesn’t want to know who he is and turns her back to the shelving between them.

“It turns out our favorite playboy knows the identity of Hawk Moth but can’t share it.”

“How long?”

“Years, apparently.”

“So he’s not in more danger than he usually is, then?” Chat asks.

“I guess not, but I’m worried about his mental health.”

“You like him.”

“I think he likes you,” Marinette says back automatically. She patiently listens to all of Chat’s laughing.

“I think people would know by now if Adrien Agreste swung that way.”

“He seems kind of private. He doesn’t date people, he just sleeps with them,” Marinette informs. 

“Wow. Good for him.”

“Chat, why don’t you date anybody?”

 

Adrien freezes, his fingers had been tracing the outline of a book on religion. He can see the top of Ladybug’s head through a gap in the stacks. Why would she ask him that?

“Isn’t that personal information?”

“No, I tell you about my love life. You don’t have to give details... I’m sorry, kitty. I was just curious,” her voice is quiet and soft. A library patron walks by and they wait until they’re gone.

“I don’t date because I’m Monsieur Noir. Like what happens with you. I disappear too much, I’m suspicious. I’m hiding things. Men can maybe tolerate it for a while with you, but women are very quick to jump to the conclusion that you are cheating. Especially with what kind of guy my alter-ego is.”

“So there are women?”

“When I was younger.”

“I was under the impression you liked boys a little more,” Ladybug mumbles.

“Kiss a monkey boy  _ one time _ and it follows you around forever!” he manages through his laughs. Kim had been the opposite of interested in Chat Noir, but the exchange  _ had _ been witnessed secretly by Ladybug.

“Sorry, I maybe got the wrong idea,” Ladybug apologizes.

“Is that why you were trying to say that Adrien Agreste likes me?” Adrien still thinks this is funny but he’s managed to get his laughing under control. Did Ladybug not remember his fabricated story about punching Adrien in the strip club? Obviously they wouldn’t get along, anyway.

“I don’t know. I just… he’s lonely but it feels like it’s the same way that you are,” Ladybug says. Adrien stops breathing. 

 

“You think that I am lonely, Lady?”

“I know that you are.”

“I thought we were talking about protecting Adrien Agreste today? Not setting him up with a certain masked comedian or accusing that comedian of not having a life,” Chat offers. Marinette takes a deep breath. What is she doing? It’s not often Chat Noir has to get her to focus on their job. She shouldn’t be prying into his personal life like this, but something about Adrien keeps making her think about Chat Noir.

“I apologize, kitty. I just… want to help. Both of you.”

“You like Adrien, don’t you?” his voice drops into quieter a whisper than it was before. Marinette plucks a small book from the shelf in front of her. Why is Chat asking that of her? Of course she is into Adrien.

“He’s a supermodel, Chat.”

“So? You’re a superhero. Both super. That’s pretty much the same, isn’t it? Do you like him?”

“I’m attracted to him, just like the rest of the world.”

“But not his personality,” Chat Noir fills in for her. Marinette frowns.

“That’s not right. I think I like that, too. He’s… mesmerizing. I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“That’s why we’re here, isn’t it? I told you it’s not a big deal that HM is targeting somebody,” Chat’s laugh again. He’s spent this whole meeting laughing. “If you want to do this Adrien thing, we can. Whatever kind of plan you want, kid.”

 

“He knows who Hawk Moth is. I was thinking I could… try to get it out of him. This is the first lead we’ve ever had, you know?”

“Maybe Adrien will be really good at keeping his secrets,” Adrien smiles at himself, “So you’re going to get close to him so he trusts you and then pry it out of him somehow? Going to get him drunk and half-seduced and hold it over him?”

“That’s awful, Chat!” Ladybug gasps. Adrien feels a little relieved. At least Ladybug wouldn’t take advantage of him. She can use him, she always has as Chat Noir, but at least that was consensual. He was sure he didn’t want to tell her he was Chat Noir. He was also sure he didn’t want to tell her that Hawk Moth was his father.

“Just checking, Lady,” he leans against the shelving unit. 

“I don’t want to hurt him.”

“It really sounds like you’ve got a crush,” Adrien feels a small twinge of guilt for using Chat Noir to ask all of this, but it was easily ignored.

“I don’t know. I just broke up with my boyfriend, so maybe I’m a little… He’s really hot, of course. He’s a model. But he’s kind and humble… and he’s a little bit of a mess too and that’s so cute and human. It’s… oh no, I do like him, don’t I?”

“That’s up to you, Lady. You know if you marry him, I’ll figure out who you are because it’ll be all over the papers,” Adrien does his best to calm his heart, but he can’t.

“It’d be in the papers way before that,” Ladybug chuckles softly.

 

“So… what do we do about Adrien?” there’s something strange in Chat’s voice. Marinette hugs herself. It’s been a very long time since she had a conversation like this with her partner. Even just any sort of conversation that lasted more than a few minutes. It’s maybe been years. She couldn’t even remember the last time. It was very rare for them to even discuss anything that wasn’t hero work. It felt like it should be a shame, but it had really worked for them. Marinette was only feeling regretful about it now. Chat Noir was important to her but they never made any effort to be close. She loved him like a brother, but treated him like a coworker. She didn’t even care to know who he was or what he was like in his real life.

“The same as usual, I guess. I will see if I can get him to tell me. It’ll help if we both try to get into his extended social circle so we’re nearby if something happens. Maybe the party scene. He takes a lot of precautions so he doesn’t put others in danger, but…”

“Why doesn’t he just totally go into hiding? This has been going on for a decade.”

“Would you like to go into hiding? Who knows if we will ever catch Hawk Moth. Adrien shouldn’t have to waste his whole life on it like we have,” Marinette sighs.

“You think we’ve wasted our lives?” Chat asks her quickly.

“That’s not what I meant. I just… it’s interfered a lot with how we would have lived otherwise, hasn’t it? Wouldn’t you have a partner and a happy life if not for being Chat by now?” Marinette asks, not wanting to confess her own former dreams.

“Those are late night thoughts, not daytime ones,” is the sad whisper.

“We’ve had to give up a lot for our safety. I wouldn’t take back being Ladybug, but I can’t help but feel regretful sometimes.”

“I am all the time.”

 

* * *

 

Marinette leans back in her office chair, images of Adrien filling her computer screen from the photoshoot the day before. She had finished picking out the ones she wanted for the fall catalog webstore and the images from the group shoot for the promotional uses, but she was here still staring at Adrien anyway. Because she  _ liked him _ . And he apparently liked her, too. Both as Marinette and Ladybug. She could be with him as Marinette, but then she would probably just be another of his one night stands. Not to mention the rumors that would happen. That he had slept with her to get in her good graces for work, or that she had taken advantage of him. More rumours that she was a model-eater or slept around to advance her career. Marinette’s chest aches with that small mental reminder of Thierry. She hadn’t wanted to turn Adrien down when he asked her out, but she had been overly conscious of what Thierry would think. And given the conversation she eavesdropped on in the bar, that had been for the best. But as Ladybug… Marinette clicked to the next photograph. Adrien in the leather pants, hair slicked back, faraway look in his eyes. It would be a logistical nightmare to date anyone as Ladybug. It would be real for him with Ladybug, though. Marinette knows that. He wouldn’t be putting her in danger, he could be himself with her. He wouldn’t have to be lonely and trash nightclubs and sleep with everyone in Paris. And she wanted to protect him. Fiercely. Only Ladybug could do that. Next picture, same pose, but he’s looking at the camera.

 

Marinette sighs and pulls her large purse up to her desk and rifles through it for her Ladybug burner phone. At one point she had just set up an internet phone number and routed it to her normal phone, but it got too confusing and almost answered Ladybug calls as Marinette a few times. She could barely believe herself that she was going to make a move on the hottest man in the world as a superhero, but she liked him. It wouldn’t hurt anything besides her feelings, potentially. No harm in trying, since her feelings were already pretty hurt from Thierry.

“What’s up, Marinette?” Tikki asks cheerfully from inside the purse and Marinette retrieves the phone.

“I’m asking Adrien on a date as Ladybug,” Marinette informs her quietly, but with resolution.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? You could be putting him in danger!”

“He’s in danger anyway,” Marinette taps through her phone only to find that Adrien had called her from a hidden number. She groans. How could a man as sloshed as he had been remember to hide his number when calling her?

“I’m sorry, Marinette.”

“I guess it’s just not meant to happen, right?” Marinette chuckles. She drops the phone back into her purse and closes out of the image program on her computer. She’s sure that someone in her office has Adrien’s contact information, but that would only help her for pursuing him as Marinette, which she couldn’t do. Ladybug wouldn’t know his number or have any way of getting it.

“Maybe he will call you!” Tikki offers happily. Marinette smiles at her.

 

* * *

 

The girl with the red hair was Anna and the girl with the black hair is Samiya. Adrien congratulates himself on being able to remember that as he drapes backwards over the cushioning in their private lounge. Samiya leans in over his face and presses their lips together. Adrien closes his eyes as he drinks the sweet champagne from her mouth. He drunkenly catches the back of her head and deepens the kiss once the liquid is gone, pressing his tongue in. It’s soft and wet and he gets lost in the sensation. He needed to get lost, after the things Ladybug had said this morning. Of course he had regrets. Of course he thought every moment of every day how things could be different. How he can’t have anything permanent and real.

“Hey! What about me?” Anna. Adrien giggles and rolls off of the couch and onto the floor. He doesn’t mind. It doesn’t matter. Anna slides her hands across his shoulders and down to his chest and Adrien hums happily at the sensation. He tilts his head back and Anna kisses him. Samiya is ordering more pink champagne. Stupid stuff. Adrien climbs up into Anna’s lap, his lips locked to hers and his hands trained at her sides. A hand on his shoulder and he puts his mouth onto Samiya’s neck instead.

“Maybe we should go someplace else,” Anna suggests.

“Where would you like to go?” Adrien pulls away, pouring himself another glass of bubbly and downing it as soon as the foam subsides.

“Oh, someplace nice!” girly giggles. Adrien smirks, this is more than opportunity to show off.

“I have a boat! Is that nice enough?”

 

* * *

 

Anna went overboard. Literally. Right before sunset. Adrien had a moment where his initial instinct was to transform into Chat Noir to save her, but there was no way he’d be able to do that without getting caught. Samiya is at his waist but they are both yelling down at Anna in the water. Luckily Adrien’s captain, a nice older gentleman named Gus was very on top of it. Stopping the yacht and throwing down the lifesaver and jacket. She wasn’t sober enough for Adrien and Gus to pull her back on board, and it was starting to get dark. So Adrien had to jump down into the water too to help her. It was a huge fiasco, right there in the Seine. Luckily they were pretty far out from the city by then, closer down to where there were more trees along the banks instead of buildings. It gave Adrien a naive hope that they wouldn’t be completely all over the tabloids tomorrow, so he was able to thoroughly enjoy the rest of his evening and his company more or less worry-free.


	5. Chapter 5

Adrien Agreste had a very big, very unlucky week. The day after the boating fiasco, he had gotten stuck in a malfunctioning elevator with his hangover and had to wait four hours to be rescued. Then there was a drunken tumble with a woman that broke her arm, someone spilled scalding hot coffee on him and some one-of-a-kind clothing at a fitting, and all of his restaurant orders had come out wrong which had culminated with a bad stomach virus. Plagg thought all of this was hilarious. The next day Adrien’s stomach was still not great. His motorcycle had gotten towed again so he got harassed on the Metro by people who recognized him. Adrien hung out with one of his party groups the following day and wasn't really sure about anything that transpired when he woke up sandwiched between three people in the back of a shipping container the next morning. He lost his phone. Someone ran into him with their bicycle. His lawyer got involved in a scandal. Every day was just as bad as the one before. He did a line of coke off of another model's breast and of course there is video on the internet and of course there would immediately be an akuma attack right after he did it. Ladybug hadn't been amused with the messed up kitten. But now he was reminded about Ladybug. What was she going to think of him? Adrien didn't want her to think badly about him. He really didn't want her not to like him.

 

Adrien pushes his sunglasses up to the top of his head, sadly learning that Ladybug's phone number hadn't synced to the cloud. She only programmed it in his last phone, which was now gone forever. He could plan on catching her at patrol as Adrien but she doesn't patrol anymore. He couldn't do anything about it as Chat. Adrien sighs, he was going to have to wait to be in some perceived danger in order to see her again. The waiter brings him his coffee, which is a healthy and well-rounded lunch. It is mostly a Safe Thing to Order.

"I can't akumatize someone on purpose, right?" he grumbles.

"You shouldn't." The quiet response from his blazer. Adrien watches the people go by for a while, leisurely sipping from his cup. He catches sight of Marinette Dupain-Cheng. MDC herself. He doesn't look away in time or drop his sunglasses back in front of his eyes and she sees him too. Adrien raises his hand in silent greeting and to his surprise, she strides over to his table.

"Hello Adrien, you've had quite the week, haven't you? How are you doing?" she asks kindly.

"My luck is more infamous than I am," Adrien chuckles, "would you like to join me for lunch?"

"I have an investor meeting… is that your lunch?" Marinette eyes his coffee.

"We'll see," he smiles, "How is that girl that was an akuma the other day?"

"Oh… she's doing well. We are developing a different role for her," Marinette looks a little upset about it. She is simply not matching up with how people talk about her. This catches Adrien's very easily stimulated curiosity. Maybe he  _ should _ sleep with MDC, it wouldn't hurt him. People already say what they want about him.

"That's good to hear. I won't keep you from your meeting but it seems like we are running into each other a lot. Maybe we should do it more purposefully next time. It might be nice to talk."

"Oh," Marinette stares at him for a second, a small blush blooming across her nose and out into her cheeks, "Perhaps. See you."

Adrien can't figure out if she's interested in him or not. Those are a lot of mixed signals. He should stop asking, she's rejected him a few times now, but it just doesn't feel right. It's interesting. Or at least unique. Adrien turns back to his coffee, thoughts about Marinette quickly forgotten.

 

* * *

 

Marinette didn't forget. She keeps playing Adrien's words over on repeat in her head. It _really does not help_ when photos of their brief exchange circulate online. Most speculation is decent and suggests it was a strictly professional interaction, which it was. Other gossip is wildly more suggestive in a sinister way. There are surprisingly even people out there that seem to support them as a fashion power couple. Marinette groans. Why did Adrien Agreste have to do this to her? She was already messed up enough from his continued ignoring of Ladybug and his week of wild tabloid escapades and now he has to draw her directly into it, too. She should have just pretended like she hadn't seen him. _But he was staring at me, he wanted to say something._ _He said he wanted to talk. Maybe he's lonely. Can I just go see him as Ladybug? Nobody’s stopping me._ Her mind made up, Marinette texts Alya to cancel their dinner plans and sets to work on completing everything she needed to do for the day.

 

* * *

 

"Hello? Ladybug delivery service!" she calls out to announce her presence as she slides in through the window. The lights are all on but Ladybug can't recall the lights being off in Adrien's penthouse so it was no real indication if he was home or not.

"Ladybug! Oh my God, did you bring me  _ food _ ?" Adrien rushes over, giggling madly. He's unbelievably cute, but Ladybug is mostly just glad that he is home and not out bedding women in some expensive hotel. He has on a tank top and basketball shorts that hang below his knees. Certainly a style she had never seen on him before. She’s Ladybug right now but had put on a baseball cap for the delivery boy look. "What is that? Look at you! You are way funnier than people think!"

"I brought takeout salads for both of us. Are you watching a movie?" She can hear it playing now, "We are having dinner and a movie."

"Like a date?" his eyes widen. Ladybug shrugs her shoulders and smiles dismissively.

"What are you watching?"

"Purple Noon," he still seems a little flabbergasted.

"That's exactly the kind of rich boy shit you'd identify with," she shakes her head at him. This arrests him even more and he gapes at her silently.

"You… you’ve totally missed the whole plot," he stutters at her, slowly recovering, "You must have been distracted by Alain Delon's eyelashes."

"Are  _ you _ distracted by his eyelashes, monsieur?" Ladybug blinks innocently and Adrien starts to laugh again. 

 

"I'm so glad you came. I lost my phone so I didn't have your phone number any more," Adrien is saying as they unwrap the salads. He started the film over and the characters were partying around Italy pretending to be blind.

"I tried to call you, but you contacted me from a hidden number."

"You tried to call  _ me _ ?" His face flushes. Ladybug's heart flutters a little bit at it. How could it be that someone as smouldering as he is be  _ adorable _ ?

"I was concerned with all the gossip about you lately. I can't tell if you're having fun or if you're in trouble."

“Just making the best of things, Bugs," Adrien takes a sip from his beer bottle, not making eye contact with her. Ladybug doesn't like that. They exchange contact information again. Properly this time.

 

"Hey, do you have a cat?" Ladybug is walking around again, looking at things. Not paying attention to the movie at all anymore even though they are at the good part where Tom and Phillippe play cards. Adrien doesn't even know why he bothered restarting the movie for her in the first place. She had found the cat items he buys half as a joke for Plagg even though Plagg does kind of like them. Especially the cat towers.

"Um… yeah. He doesn't like people, though. Probably hiding," he covers. He had that excuse planned out already just in case anyone ever visited his condo. Here it was, coming in handy.

"What's his name?" Ladybug follows it up. Adrien stops himself from saying 'Plagg' somehow. Ladybug knows Plagg and it’s not exactly a common name. He thinks quickly, a small smile spreading on his face. Ladybug was going to love and hate this.

"Don't judge me."

"I wouldn't," Ladybug assures him, picking up one of the cat toys and bending over to check under the couch for said cat.

"Chat Noir," Adrien bites his lip after saying it, directing all of his willpower into keeping from laughing. He had to seem as serious as possible. Ladybug's gaze snaps to him.

"You didn't."

"Oh, I definitely did," he lets his smile through. The look on her face is more than worth it, "It looks like you are judging me right now."

 

"It's rude to name a shy cat after him! I feel like the human would be offended too so I'm offended on behalf of the both of them," Ladybug says flatly. Adrien can feel Plagg pulling on his hair in either support or protest.

"I didn't name him after the super hero. Your partner isn't the first cat in the world with that name, you know."

"Please. I've seen your Ladybug collection, you definitely named your cat for him. I can't wait to tell him about this, he will die," she's walking around again, probably searching for places the cat could be hiding.

"With how long you two have been around I'm sure I am not the only one. I'd even be willing to bet that Chat Noir himself has a cat named Chat Noir. Seems like something he would do," Adrien is  _ living _ for this. It's the funnest shit he's ever done to Ladybug, probably. Too bad she would never get the joke. Adrien hopes that she actually asks Chat Noir about it next time they have a battle.

"The two of you would really get along," Ladybug rolls her eyes.

"Probably even better than you and I," Adrien keeps his smile plastered on, laughing internally about it. Ladybug frowns and Adrien has an immediate compulsion to take it back but instead makes it worse, "it doesn't seem like any of our interests or hobbies line up."

"Does that mean you don't want a second date?" Is her question. Adrien can't tell from her expression what she is thinking.

"That's not at all what I meant."

"I did offer to set you up with Chat instead but he's got some grudge with you about strippers," Ladybug is completely serious. Adrien can't believe how serious she is being right now about this. He empties his beer and gets up for another.

"You don't seem like the type of person that likes strippers or partying and you definitely have zero taste in film. We just need to find a better middle ground… because the chemistry is there," Adrien dares to suggest. He checks the screen, only reminded of the movie now himself. Tom's just murdered his rich friend on the sailboat.

 

"I've met you before as a civilian," Ladybug doesn't know why she is telling him.

"Really? Did we have stuff in common then?" Adrien looks perturbed, which is a complete change from how amused he had just been.

"I'm not sure, but we had chemistry that way, too."

"L-Ladybug, did we fuck?" Adrien is staring at her, his face pale and full of panic, "Have we slept together before?"

"No, but the invitation might have been extended," it's Ladybug's turn to laugh at him. The man visibly relaxes and pops the cap off of the beer bottle in his hand, movement restored to him. He runs a hand through his golden mop.

"Good."

"Why?" Ladybug counteracts immediately. He looks confused and her stomach churns. Ladybug isn't sure if he likes her or not anymore, he is acting really inconsistent about the whole thing. Maybe he is just playing with her. He is Adrien Agreste, after all. Standing there with his brilliant green eyes and toned, perfectly portioned body. Measurements that she knew by heart.

"I wouldn't want that to be a shadow over us. I don't want to have a one night stand with  _ Ladybug _ , whether or not I knew it was her. You. Whoever. I'm not selective or necessarily cautious and I honestly don't remember a majority of people I do sleep with so I'm not sure if my behavior is acceptable or not and I just would be really mortified if I was a shit to you. Although I guess if I had been, you wouldn't have come here at all... I'm a little ashamed to say this only because you're  _ Ladybug _ and I admire you and I want you to think I'm a good guy, but I'm a bit shit and really slutty and I don't have any discretion or caution. That's who I am," his hands shake. Minutely, but just enough that Ladybug sees it.

"Adrien Agreste, you are worried you gave me an STD?" she shrills, the understanding of what he is saying suddenly rushing over her.

"Not anything too serious! But it's happened," Adrien says quickly, ashamed.

"You're totally unbelievable," Ladybug starts to laugh, "I bet you have a bunch of secret little Adriens running around, too."

 

"Actually no on that part, vasectomy when I was 18. People try and play me for money that way all the time," Adrien's nerves are still shot, and he tries to settle back into the couch where maybe he can disappear in the dark. Why was he even saying all this stuff? What kind of impression was he trying to give her, anyway? He needed something stronger than this beer now but he didn't want to get too fucked up around Ladybug. Adrien really didn't want her to see him that way and come to hate him because of it. Her relationship with Chat was already fairly cold, he didn't know what he would do if she flat out came to hate his other side. Adrien wanted her to  _ like him _ . He wasn't doing a lot to help his cause out. Maybe he should stop joking around and telling her things she doesn't need to know. But he did want her to know about him. All these years of having to hide his whole life from her, this was his chance to show her who he really was. Even if they don't end up marrying, he wants to genuinely be friends. Adrien knows they would be a great team still out of costume, maybe they could start a business or something together.  _ Whoa, getting ahead of yourself, there. _

"Are you this honest with everyone?" Ladybug is asking him as she returns to the couch too.

"I don't have anyone to be honest or dishonest to. My life has always been on display for everyone. It's not like I have a lot to hide, but the things I have to protect I will do anything for."

"What are you protecting? I can help you keep it safe," Ladybug offers sincerely. Adrien appreciates it, even though he’s about to make another inside joke that she won’t be able to appreciate.

"Paris," he laughs to himself. Ladybug rolls her eyes in a gesture that is more familiar to him than not.

 

“I have so many inappropriate questions to ask now,” Ladybug is folded up, knees at her chin and her palms wrapped around her ankles. She’s looking at the television but Adrien can tell she hasn’t been paying attention at all because she should be squicked out by Tom by now, he’s killed two people.  _ I do understand Ladybug enough to know that much. _

“I don’t mean to be that kind of person,” Adrien mumbles, “It’s hard for me to assert myself. I just agree to everything when I’m messed up. I do it a little bit when I’m sober, too. I think everything is a good idea, or that I want to do stuff and then I just do it because I can. Why not? There’s nothing stopping me. I  _ do _ want to sleep around, and I  _ do _ want to do those drugs. Do you think I’m gross now?”

“You’re not gross,” Ladybug says. Adrien has no idea if she’s lying or what she is thinking.

“I really don’t want you to think I’m gross. I don’t want you to hate me. It would really upset me if I slept with you and couldn’t remember any of it,” Adrien mumbles, “You’re too important to me.”

“I am?” Ladybug asks. Adrien looks at her, there’s a huge part of him that wants to confess about Chat Noir. Good old Tom and his distracting eyelashes are making a move on Maude up on the television. Adrien hates this part.

“Nobody ever inspired me as much as you. I just like… since there’s Ladybug, I have hope,” Adrien chuckles. He doesn’t even know where to start, “There’s somebody like you that exists out there. You’re so incredible. So smart and brave and focused. I love it.”

 

“Thank you, Adrien. That’s a really nice thing to say,” Ladybug doesn’t know what to do in the face of another confession of admiration out of him.

“It’s true and I mean it,” he pouts, “I’ve known that clearly since I was a kid.”

“You’re one of the bigger fans I’ve met,” Ladybug smiles. He frowns harder. He obviously doesn’t like that at all. It’s different to see his face like this, though. Ladybug feels like she’s collected a lot of new expressions from him tonight. She also now knows things about him that aren’t part of the collective knowledge of the internet. Maybe he’s never let anyone get so close to him, he was only letting her because she was Ladybug. Ladybug shifts, she wants to take back what she said but she isn’t sure what to say to him now.

“Oh man, you must have been transformed for a long time. I really do have costumes if that’s better,” Adrien offers. Ladybug’s heart skips. How close they could be like that.

“I’m okay for now. I’m going to leave after the movie is over, anyway,” she smiles. She needs to escape before she ends up completely jumping him or something.

“You are?” he chirrups immediately and then looks regretful that he said it out loud. Her stomach tenses with an affectionate pity. He doesn’t want her to leave.

 

“I’m not sure how this date is going from your perspective,” she chuckles.

“Extremely bad. You are going to go home and then leave me on read until the next akuma that I’m directly or indirectly responsible for and then we will be awkward,” Adrien takes a gulp from his bottle over it, “I really like you, I need to make you like me before they find Phillippe’s body somehow.”

“What?”

“The movie,” Adrien smirks. Ladybug pouts, she has not been paying enough attention to learn anyone’s name. Somebody is Greenleaf? Alain Delon’s character can’t button his shirts up all the way and it’s too much when Adrien Agreste is beside her too. She is completely incapable of functioning with visual stimulation like that, she’s always been that way.

“I do like you. I think you’re kind and funny, just a little messed up.”

“And attractive,” he supplies brazenly about himself.

“You’re a supermodel, that can go unsaid.”

“Can it? I think you’re attractive.”

“You can’t even see half of my face,” Ladybug laughs in disbelief.

“I’m not looking at your face,” Adrien whispers. Ladybug buries her face in her knees, completely mortified. Adrien was looking at her  _ body _ and just said it out loud to her like that! He really is a ladykiller! Not like the rest of their conversations tonight hadn’t more than proved that to her already. Not like there wasn’t a decade’s worth of gossip headlines to back it up.

“Are you free tomorrow night? Maybe we can try doing something else here and it will go better. If you want. You don’t have to,” Adrien offers, it’s so earnest. The hope in his voice gives her the ability to swallow her embarrassment at his overt flattery.

“We should try again. Because of the chemistry, right?”

“Absolutely for the chemistry,” Adrien nods his head with a childish enthusiasm and Ladybug laughs gently at him.

 

* * *

 

"Can't you get your assistant to do this shit for you? And me?" Alya gives Marinette a pointed look, walking in on the designer folding laundry.

"That would be taking advantage of him," Marinette giggles lightly, "when Martin grows up to be the next Armani I don't want him telling horror stories about me."

"Yeah, okay, Coco Chanel," Alya rolls her eyes.

"I can do your laundry if you want me to, it's the least I can do since you're  _ still _ letting me stay here," Marinette offers brightly.

"You can stay forever, but what about that guy you went out with last night? There room in his bed for you?"

"Actually no…" Marinette frowns, "He's got this little one-person bed. Like a kid's one?"

"So you did see his bed?" Alya lights up, completely ignoring all of the other details she had been supplied. Marinette smirks at it. She carefully piles up her clothing to extend her friend's suspense. Marinette knows she has to be completely prepared for Alya's reaction.

"It's Adrien Agreste," Marinette states.

"WHAT? Are you kidding? That picture of you two together wasn't just work shit?" 

"I mean, it was…" she is purposefully cryptic.

"We haven't heard from that dude in forever. Remember how hung up you were on him as a teenager?" Alya is shocked but not too shocked to keep from speaking, "How was he?"

"I didn't sleep with him."

"Um, he's Adrien Agreste. He impregnates any woman that gets within twelve feet of him. And I know that you wouldn't be able to resist that bod so I'm not buying it."

"I am flirting with him as Ladybug," Marinette doesn't want to confuse Alya further.

"I'm sorry, what? I think I just heard you say Ladybug fucked Adrien Agreste."

 

"No, Chat pointed out that HM is targeting Adrien. If you think back, he really has been since the beginning. Our whole class was akumatized, right? Everyone Adrien got close to, akumatized."

"Right, so now you're dating him under the guise of protecting him?" Alya jumps to the conclusion. Marinette hesitates, she isn't wrong.

"I… I think so? It's at least flirting. We used the 'date' world multiple times last night."

"Dang, Mari! I'm impressed. What does the kitten have to say about all this?" Alya is asking as Nino comes in. He raises an eyebrow but knows better than to ask. He gives Alya a quick hug in greeting.

"Not a lot, really. It seems like he has some things of his own going on recently," Marinette confesses, "I think he is on drugs again."

"Chat?" Nino asks and the girls nod at him affirmatively, "He's been weird in all the footage of him lately. You're probably right. Should I talk to him again?"

"It's not really been a problem… let's just leave it for now," Marinette frowns down at her pile of folded clothing. She didn't really want to get Chat Noir in trouble, it wasn't his fault that the akumas were starting to come out deep at night.

"Nino, get this, our beautiful spotted leader is going to shack up with Adrien Agreste," Alya changes the subject quickly.

"Whoa, Adrien? How is he? I feel like it's been years since I saw him in person," Nino is smiling.

"Exactly the same, weirdly."


	6. Chapter 6

Ladybug rides the elevator up to Adrien’s penthouse instead of going in through the window. The man is obviously flabbergasted by it. As if using the front door wasn’t even a possibility, even for him.

“Were you waiting by the window?” Ladybug smirks knowingly. Adrien laughs, he had been caught.

“I bought us something cool,” he says in an attempt to recover. Ladybug looks at him quizzically, practically demanding an immediate answer with only her eyes. He’s glad to give it to her, “VR games.”

“Really?” she has a sudden rush of excitement flow through her. She’s always wanted to try VR, but didn’t have the time or the money for that. Adrien had both.

“I was thinking we could have a little competition, so I bought two headsets. I haven’t tried it out yet, so we’d be even,” he challenges.

“Prepare to get fucked, Agreste,” she cackles, picking one of the visors up off the table.

“ _ Ladybug! _ ” he gasps in mock horror at her language and then addresses the content, “I am  _ always _ prepared to fuck.”

“We’ll see about that,” she winks, undoing the straps and things.

“Which game did you want to play?” Adrien fans out the game cases across the couch. He had preemptively moved the table far away to give them enough space to play.

“Whatever you think you’re going to be good at. I don’t want you complaining that tennis isn’t your thing once I’ve kicked your ass in it or something.”

“Tennis it is.”

 

“You aren’t just letting me win, are you?” Ladybug frowns to herself. She had beaten him more than thoroughly in every single round. She had a vague memory of Adrien being better at video games than this. Maybe he was really out of practice. 

“You don’t have to rub it in,” he scoffs, “Another round?”

“Maybe we should try a different game and you’ll have a fighting chance.”

“No, I want to try this again. Give me a second, I’ll be right back. Don’t take off the gear,” he warns. Ladybug sighs, listening to Adrien rush off. He’s back almost immediately.

“I’ve got a lucky charm this time,” he says. Ladybug giggles. That was a cute reference. He’s cute. Even when she can’t see him.

“Luck can’t make up for skill!” she warns.

“You may be good at video games because of your superhero antics, but I have actually played tennis for real before,” is Adrien’s sorry attempt at banter. You have no right to trash talk when you’ve gotten steamrolled so badly. All talk and no action. She had really expected more.

“Yeah? Were you this bad at it in real life, too?” Ladybug laughs.

“Wow, doodlebug. Wow. Prepare for me to dish up some sweet revenge. You’re about to eat shit.”

“Yeah right,” Ladybug rolls her eyes even though they can’t even see each other. She starts the rematch on the game.

 

Now that he had his glasses on, Adrien could finally see the ball. This was really something he hadn’t foreseen as a problem. After all, he got through most of his life without the spectacles somehow. He would have to be careful that Ladybug didn’t see the glasses later, but for now he was safe. It was worth the risk just to beat her.

“What the fuck?” she whines, “You  _ were _ just letting me win earlier!”

“Nope, that was all you,” he assures.

“Then you have one hell of a lucky charm.” It was just Adrien’s luck that she wasn’t going to let that go or forget about it. He shouldn’t have said anything and just pretended to go to the bathroom or something instead. He was a slight misstep from her discovering his eyesight secret, and with his luck she was going to find out sooner rather than later.

"You're the only Lucky Charm I need," he whips out a stupid pickup line like he's sixteen again. She guffaws brilliantly at it. Why did this stuff work on her when she wasn't with Chat? What about him being a hero repulsed her so badly?

"You've redeemed yourself in tennis, maybe we should try another game," Ladybug offers.

"If you don't mind setting aside our burgeoning rivalry, we can do the co-op adventure," Adrien suggests. He's curious to find out if they work as well together this way as they do as heroes. And they did.

 

Until he fell into her, swinging his arm at the game with zero awareness of real space. They land on the floor, Adrien tangled in her limbs. Controllers. He's careful to remove his glasses as well when he rips off his visor.

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" He stammers. Ladybug is laughing, so he is pretty sure that she is fine. She's taken worse hits. Adrien knows the suit protects her.

"I'm fine! Did you get hurt?" She's slid the visor up to peek out at him. His heart skips. Ladybug is wonderful and beautiful and he loves her. And he needs a drink. Adrien helps her up off of his floor.

"I'm okay, too. I'm used to falling over," he shrugs, reluctantly letting go of her hand after she was standing again. At least he is still close to her.

"I am too, it's a wonder we didn't crash into each other sooner," she smiles. It sends Adrien's heart into overdrive. He wants her.

"Ladybug… is this a real date?" Adrien asks. He wants to make sure. He knows that she is just getting close because of his Hawk Moth secret but there is something else there. Undeniably there. And she likes him back. But doing this is not like dating, at least not in his limited experience.

"I think that it is, isn't it?"

"Then is it okay to kiss you?" Adrien hovers in place, waiting with anticipation. He's so close to her.

 

It's not like she hasn't kissed people as Ladybug. Chat Noir a few times somehow back when they were newbies, and then Viperion a lot and on purpose. Was she really aiming for a relationship like that with Adrien Agreste? Because it would be complicated and she would have to be so careful. But she liked him so much. Especially when he's here in front of her with his exceptionally beautiful, eager face.

"I guess kissing wouldn't hurt," Ladybug gently drops the controllers from her hands and they dangle from her wrists by the straps. She pulls Adrien's face down to hers and he easily envelopes her with his arms. Ladybug's pulse throbs in her ears in a rush, Adrien's lips gently grazing against her and then fully pressing. She parts her lips, gently deepening into his softness. It feels like forever but it's only a few seconds. Neither of them make a move with their tongue but their lips slide against one another's in gentle folds.

"L-Lady," Adrien whispers, in something like awe or thanks. She smiles at him. It was so strange that he would be so flustered.

"That was a nice kiss."

"I can do more nice things," he whispers. Ladybug feels a ripple of heat surge through her at the thought. She shouldn't jump into this.  _ I'm not going to be another one of his women. _

"I'm sure that you can, we'll have to set aside some time later to find out," she teases. His facial expression is worth it.

 

"I really had fun tonight," Ladybug beams at him. Adrien's stomach turns. Is she leaving already? They were even in score through a half dozen matches of virtual reality laser tag and he was about to suggest the horror game instead.

"I did, too. I haven't… it's been a while," he decides to say. He hasn't been comfortable with someone in so long. He hasn't been able to relax and enjoy himself since he was a kid. It was a gift, Ladybug being here. Adrien was suddenly thankful he hadn't ruined it by seducing her.

"I was thinking that maybe I can plan the next date, if you'd like to?" she asks hopefully. Adrien's chest clenches.

"Y-yes, absolutely! I definitely want to keep dating."

"Me too," she blushes.

"Would it be okay to consider you as my girlfriend?" he bites his lip. It's been a very long time since he had a girlfriend.

"What would that mean for you, Lady-Killer?" She asks and even though it was meant to sound playful, Adrien knows that it is a real concern.

"I have no idea," he breathes honestly. Adrien wasn't sure he knew how to live his life any other way than he way he had been going for eleven years. What if he got too drunk and forgot about her? She had been on the back of his mind for a lifetime, it was reflex to suppress his feelings about Ladybug when he was with others.

"Think about it for a while and then we'll talk it over again," Ladybug smiles kindly. She's wonderful.

 

* * *

 

Marinette circles the prototype mannequin slowly. All she can really think about is Adrien. She wants to see him again. Like, right now. All the time. She was going to have to come up with more excuses to see him as a civilian. They just finished fall/winter so it was going to be another six months before the next collection where he could come model for her. She could design a limited edition collection of something. Maybe do a collab with another brand or pop culture thing. Can she get Hello Kitty? Everybody does Hello Kitty. Maybe an accessories line? Men’s accessories? What would that even be? Why is fashion so gendered? How would Adrien look in a gown? Adrien would look great in a gown. Now Marinette really wanted to dress him in a dress. She could make it happen. She had the power. Her phone buzzes in her pocket and Marinette is glad for the momentary distraction from her mental exercises of visualizing Adrien in women’s clothing. She’s still on a party text chain that Thierry had added her to. Perfect. Adrien would probably be at the party. It was worth a shot. Much easier than designing a whole collection for him. Which she should still probably do so she can see him more again later. She should probably start working on that as soon as possible.

 

* * *

 

_ This is an excellent party.  _ Adrien has decided for sure. There is coke, there are dancers, and he had obtained somehow an entire handle of flavored vodka. All his favorite stuff. There were a bunch of people here he recognized but he was grateful he didn’t have to try to remember any names because they all knew his. The surge of energy from the hit of coke was enough for him to dance for what felt like forever. Time wasn’t real anymore, just the way that he liked it. Adrien had already forgotten what he had come here for. It wasn’t anything tangible. Just to test himself. A test he had failed miraculously before he even arrived, but that didn’t matter to him at the moment. Adrien felt transcended and real and good. The bodies. Other people around him. Everything was familiar and freeing.

“Can I have some of that?” a beautiful petite woman yells up at his ear over the music. He grins at her in a haze and hands over the bottle. The woman tilts it back in a smooth gulp. She looks so cool. Her outfit is cool, too. Leather vest over a white tee and pink skirt...  _ Wait, this is that girl. _

“Marinette?” he slurs her name a little, but the music's so loud that she probably didn’t hear him given that he wasn’t screaming.

“Didn’t peg you for a vodka man,” she yells at him closely, her breath on his cheek. He retrieves the handle from her somehow.

“Nothin’ wrong wit vokka,” he tries to shout, grinning from ear to ear.

“Strawberry, though?” her eyes twinkle in the limited lighting.

“Love them!” he laughs, taking Marinette’s wrist lightly and guiding her through the crowd.

 

“I don’t usually come to these,” Marinette watches Adrien take a swig of strawberry mess straight from the bottle. She winces a little bit at the memory of  _ how bad _ it was.

“Are you havin’ fun?” he is squinting at her again. Is that just because he’s drunk? He’s not wearing a lot again. Khaki shorts and sandals. Sunglasses up on his head. Rings, bracelets, and four necklaces that didn’t match each other. But he pulled it off. Because it’s Adrien Agreste, after all. Everything looks great on him.

“Maybe.”

“That means no!” Adrien declares, shocked. Marinette stifles a giggle. What was she doing? This was bad news. An Adrien like this was going to be a bad influence. A very bad influence.

“Definitely do more of this, MDC,” he holds out the bottle of vodka as if on cue. Marinette smirks at the way he pronounced her initials. Typically she would think that he was making fun of her, but she is slowly starting to get the idea that Adrien genuinely just wants to be funny and is a little bit bad at it sometimes. Marinette accepts the bottle and pretends to drink more and Adrien cheers about it, taking the bottle back, hoisting it in the air like he is toasting something, and then taking another big swig himself. This man was certainly on the bullet train to alcohol poisoning. 

“Are you having fun?”

“Always!” he wags his finger and then drags his body right up to hers, almost leaning against her, “We can have fun together.”

“I’d like to get to know you better first,” she smiles at him. He wouldn’t remember this anyway.

“Ah yer one of those? No can do, Cutie Pie. I’ma one trick pony only,” he reaches up to ruffle her bangs a little and freezes. Marinette’s heart races. Did he realize who she was? Adrien draws back away from her slowly, his eyes narrowed again, “Your hair always that color?” He knew.

 

Marinette is saved by some very tall dude that seems to be friends with Adrien. They are yelling nonsense at each other and bro-hugging. She feels like she’s been forgotten, but she can’t bring herself to break away from Adrien. He is positively magnetic no matter how much of a mess he happened to be. When he sets his jade eyes on her again she almost gasps at his intensity. His whole, shirtless blonde being. It made her think for a second about the way that Chat gets sometimes.

“You’re high?” she realizes. He blinks and looks down at his hand.

“Oh man I thought I already did it when you said that!” he waggles the little plastic bag in his fingers with a laugh. Marinette blinks. He had just bought drugs off of that tall dude? How had she missed that? Adrien had been right, though. He never had to hide himself from anyone, he was always unapologetically who he was. Never had to pretend.

“Do you want one there are uh… four,” he practically has to hold the bag up to his nose to count the tablets. He frowns and looks around, “Maybe we should trade em fer some more coke, I’m tired.”

“If you’re tired you should go home.”

“My uh… can’t drive!” he waves around the vodka bottle some more to illustrate his point even though it doesn’t need any clarification. Another person comes over and this time Marinette notices the exchange, he definitely traded away the pill drugs for cocaine. The cocaine fellow sticks around after the exchange, though. Adrien rests his arm lazily over Marinette’s shoulders. She can’t escape. Not that she really wanted to. It seemed like he had taken her literally under his wing now, determined to let her have a Good Time.

 

“So I thought like maybe we could use some investors you know?”

“Why doncha jus sell it?” Adrien frowns. 

“To who?” the dude scoffs. Adrien reaches out his free arm, which is the one where he is holding the handle of booze in his hand too and he presses his forefinger into Victor’s chest.

“Me. Tomorrow. Let’s meet.”

“Seriously, man?”

“Why the fuckin not?” Adrien shrugs.

“Uh, Adrien…” the MDC pipes up a little. Adrien ignores it for a second.

“You don’t know shit about running a biz, dude. I’m not just gonna sell it.”

“Iddn’t that basically what lookin’ for investors means?” Adrien grumbles. He  _ does _ know how to run a business. At least in theory. He had two degrees in it! “You fucked up and you’re tryin not to have to sell it, you should just sell it.”

“You don’t fucking know shit, man. You’ve never worked for anything, you never built anything up from scratch or accomplished shit, dude. You don’t understand.”

“Maybe not,” Adrien laughs and takes a shot of the strawberry vodka. 

“I wanna dance!” Marinette pulls him away like she knows that he’s upset. How could anyone know that he’s upset?

 

“I know what I’m talkin’ bout,” Adrien slurs helplessly at her. MDC has dragged him into a whole different place.  _ There's not even any dancing here! _ Adrien drops the rest of the handle of vodka somewhere.

“I know, I know, you went to one of those UK universities,” the woman shakes her head, “But you just can’t go buying nightclubs at midnight.”

“Is only midnight? I usually bought five nightclubs by now!” he chuckles. Marinette frowns.  _ Shit she can see right through me. _ Adrien tips out a little bit of white powder onto the back of his wrist.

“You don’t have to listen to what that douchebag said to you.” 

“What’d he say?” Adrien is playing dumb now.

“That you never worked for anything.”

“I dinn’t,” Adrien shrugs, "Victor wouln't call me out if it wasn't true."

"It's not true."

"Oh really?" Adrien needs this girl to have a good time at this party, she's a national treasure.  _ Like Ladybug is. Hold on, it's her. Right! This is Ladybug! Almost forgot. _

"Really. You are good at what you do, Adrien," Ladybug is telling him. Wow. Ladybug. Forget showing her a good time, she shouldn't even be there.

"Thanks, doodlebug. Can you gimme another lift home?" He leans against a chair… a table- or couch? It is some sort of furniture object and he can't figure out what. It doesn't matter.

 

Adrien Agreste knows who she is, and Marinette mentally ticks off every single swear word on her personal bad word list. She had seen the recognition in his face earlier but now it was undeniable that he knew. Worse, or maybe better, he was completely rolling with it like it didn’t matter to him at all. He hadn't changed how he acted because she was Ladybug. Adrien didn’t care at all who she had ended up to be. No dramatics whatsoever. Unlike with Alya and Nino. Unlike what she imagined a reveal with Chat Noir would be like. Adrien was already in danger from knowing about Hawk Moth. Knowing who Ladybug was probably wouldn’t make it any worse than it already was. It really doesn’t hurt anything for him to know. Adrien’s eyes are lidded and his body is swaying. She should take him home.

“Do you have your keys today? I can drive your bike for you.”

“No. You drink too,” Adrien wags his hand emphatically. Marinette laughs. She couldn’t as well confess to pretending to have drank after that first sip.

“You are paying for the cab,” she decides. It was fine. This was fine.

 

* * *

 

“Good morning kid,” Plagg is  _ loud _ . Adrien swats at him, groaning in pain.

“Shut up. I’ll feed you in a minute,” he grumbles at his kwami.

“ _ Ladybug _ is here,” Plagg says. Adrien rubs his face with his hands. Ladybug was spending a lot of time at his place lately.

“Do you remember who she is?” Plagg goads. Adrien squints at his tiny floating friend. His head is pounding painfully.  _ Right. I saw Ladybug at the party? I think. Didn’t I? But… Plagg says I know who she is… who was that? Did I know her? _

“I don’t remember. I was fucked up. I’m sorry, I was drunk,” Adrien groans at himself with frustration. Of course he finally figures out who his partner is and was too blacked out to remember it. Just his luck. Plagg groans about it too.

“I should have known when you didn’t flip out,” Plagg grumbles at him in clear disappointment, “You should get up. She’s waiting for you.”

Adrien somehow mentally checks that he’s presentable enough and he drags himself to the kitchen. It’s not Ladybug. It is, though. It’s a woman in dark sunglasses. Her outfit is sharp and business-like. A white suit and heels over a pink blouse. Her hair was pinned back in a twist. Ladybug looked super badass and important. Like one of those lady CEOs in the upper echelon that Adrien was so (sometimes intimately) familiar with. Adrien decides that he loves it. It  _ suits  _ Ladybug perfectly. He should also let her know that he doesn’t remember last night before she accidentally reveals who she is.

“Lady, I think I saw who you were but I don’t remember,” he closes his eyes. His head hurts too much to speak.

“Oh,” is the small peep, a pause, and then, “Good.”

Adrien feels relieved. He had hoped she wouldn’t be offended that he didn’t remember. He couldn’t help it that he had been too far gone by the time whatever happened happened.

“I hope I didn’t freak out on you about it or anything. Or say something weird,” like that he was Chat Noir.

“No. You really took it in stride,” Ladybug chuckles good-naturedly. 

“We must have been strangers, then,” he can’t keep himself from sounding a little let down. He always felt like maybe he knew Ladybug from something. Like they interacted.

 

“Maybe. Maybe not,” Marinette grins. It’s like a weight has been lifted off of her. She had done her best over the last twelve hours to come to terms with it. If she was going to be close with Adrien Agreste as Ladybug instead of as Marinette, it was likely he would unmask her eventually anyway. She had justified it in every way that she could come up with. But it was easier that she didn’t have to do that right now.

“I like your outfit. I’ve never seen you out of costume.”

“Thank you. I don’t believe anyone has seen me out of costume but still as Ladybug,” Marinette smiles to herself. This was unique indeed. Adrien comes a little closer to her, his musk from the night before washing over her a little. And strawberries.  _ It’s nice? How is it that he smells  _ good _? _

“This is MDC?” he squints, innocently touching her suit jacket. Marinette’s heart goes into Red Alert for a multitude of reasons.  _ Adrien Agreste _ can recognize her work. So she should probably do her best in the future not to remind him of Marinette while being Ladybug or she might reveal herself. It was stupid to wear her own clothes here. And lastly, it really doesn’t help that he is standing  _ so close _ to her now. 

“I think so,” Marinette manages not to stutter somehow.

“Good taste,” Adrien mumbles tiredly and steps away to make coffee. Marinette tries to still the ramming in her chest. 


	7. Chapter 7

"It doesn't seem like this one is linked to Adrien," Ladybug says, tightening her yoyo string around their trap. 

"Wow, Lady. Are you really thinking about that guy right now? When you fall for someone you fall hard, huh?" Chat Noir teases. Internally he is very pleased. He's even happier to see the blush spread across her face. Chat tips his staff out a bit and vaults at the akuma, knocking it over. He presses his Cataclysm-ready hand against the phone (it was always phones these days) and the butterfly drifts out of it. Ladybug sweeps in to capture it and set the city back to normal. They fist bump lightly.

"There used to be more plot to this stuff," Ladybug states as Chat returns the good-as-new phone to the unfortunate businessman and sends him on his way.

"I bet Moth's really run out of ideas by now. No big schemes for a few years," Chat shrugs.

"I'd really like to take the fight to him instead sometime," Ladybug sighs, looking out over the Parisian skyline. Chat Noir licks his lips.  _ She’s right. _

"I'm not good at getting close to Adrien like you wanted. He's exclusive access," Chat Noir lies. This is his excuse for not being any help.

"That's okay, Kitty. I went too far as a civilian and he almost figured out who I was," she frowns, "Hey… Adrien has a cat named after you."

 

Chat Noir starts to laugh and doesn't stop. He can't stop. Ladybug crosses her arms and waits through it.

"He bet me that you probably had a cat named Chat Noir too," she says. Chat catches his breath a little, his smile still as big as could be.

"What are the stakes on this bet?"

"Nothing."

"As good of an idea that is, I don't have a cat. Plagg gets jealous. I had a pet once and he let it out. I just like to think it's living out there somewhere in Paris now," Chat is still chuckling.

"That's not very nice of him."

"Yeah… well, I'm not always nice to him, either. It's fine, it’s not like he Cataclysmed it or anything," he shrugs. Ladybug was not so sure that Plagg  _ hadn't _ . Maybe Chat was just in denial about it, something like that happening would be a little traumatic.

“Tikki likes it when I have pets but my home situation right now is a little unstable,” Ladybug decides that it’s acceptable enough information to share with Chat Noir.

 

“I’d let you live with me! I have a big place,” he grins. Ladybug shakes her head, bemused. 

“I’m not that desperate, wildcat. I should probably bite the bullet and find my own place.”

“If you can’t afford it, I bet your new boyfriend can help,” Chat bites his bottom lip and raises his eyebrows. His ring starts up with the warnings and he ignores it. Chat Noir knows that Ladybug can afford to live alone. If she is a woman that wears MDC and Versace on a house call she was certainly capable of paying for her own place.

“I can afford it. I just don’t like for my home to be empty.”

“I feel that way, too,” Chat sighs back at her genuinely. Plagg was the only family he had, but it wasn’t anything that appeased the loneliness. They spent so much time together that when at home they mostly kept apart. He manages a smile, “I wish I had boyfriends to mooch off of.”

“I’m not  _ mooching _ ,” Ladybug whines back.

“I know you wouldn’t, bugster. I should be getting back. I’ll see you next time.”

“Stay safe.”

 

* * *

 

Marinette was really enjoying these new conversations with her partner.  _ I think I actually really like him.  _ He was so different now as an adult, more mature and thoughtful than he had been as a teenager, even despite all of the drunkenness. He had all the same experiences as her, the more they spoke like this the more Marinette knows that they would understand each other. They would be more than good coworkers and an efficient team- they would be real friends. And she kind of wanted to. Was she really open to letting him back in? All of their arguments were a long time ago, it was all history now. They were working together seamlessly, and had been for years. They were getting along well, too. Should she still be holding onto those grudges against Chat? Was it fair to still be punishing him for mistakes from years ago? Did he deserve her forgiveness now or would he ever? Did she still really not want to know who he was or was she just being petty and stubborn about it?

 

Marinette frowns at her computer screen, trying to rid her brain of this thought process. Apartment-hunting during work hours. But she was the boss, who cared? Not like she can be fired. Maybe Chat Noir would be mature about it if they did an identity reveal now. Then they  _ could _ live together. It would certainly be convenient and make their lives a lot easier.  _ Like, really easy. Like with Luka. Don’t think about Luka. No living with Chat Noir, either. _ Marinette groans at herself. Chat could fall in love with her again if she let him get that close. What if she let him? Would that be so bad?  _ Stop it, Marinette. You’re just rebounding. And you’re already rebounding with Adrien Agreste! _ She clicks over to her drawing program again. The light sketches of flowing fabric. Adrien Agreste. Marinette knew it was completely unmarketable. Maybe as a couture thing. A statement. Something she couldn’t justify doing this year, she already had couture pieces ready and lined up. She doodles another quick gown with her stylus, distracting herself from thoughts of Chat Noir and apartments by focusing on how to accentuate the best assets of Adrien’s body with fabric. She gets lost in it. After a few doodles on top of the template, she realizes that she’s drawn something for Chat Noir instead. She just couldn’t stop thinking about him.

 

* * *

 

Marinette had put in a general inquiry to Adrien's manager for his availability. It was another abuse of power but she wanted to make sure she had tickets for a day where he was at least not working. She cross referenced it with her new chart with the fashion party scene schedule. Marinette knew Adrien partied in other circles too, but this was the only one she could have any hope to keep tabs on. Marinette knew that this level of stalking is still creepy, but old habits die hard when it comes to Adrien. She could remember keeping track of all his movements back in collége. Marinette smiles,  _ how sweet and innocent he was back then. How sweet and innocent they  _ both _ were back then. _ She uses her Ladybug phone to text him to be ready by 18h and giggles at the onslaught of emojis he sends back in response.

 

"What's in the bag?" Adrien asked, excited. His smile was absolutely  _ radiant _ . He was decent enough to be fully clothed today. Ladybug had been slightly concerned about that in particular. He looked pretty dapper but had on the baseball cap she had worn over the other day. It was so cute.

“My costume,” Ladybug grins at him.

“Costume?”

“ _ Ladybug _ can’t go on a date with  _ Adrien Agreste _ without the whole world talking about it tomorrow but I can’t wear sunglasses where we’re going to go so I have to stay transformed to protect my identity,” Ladybug unzips her bag.

“Where are we going?” Adrien hadn’t actually expected for her to take him outside, she can tell that from his face. But there was no way they could just keep having house dates like this, not when there were things she was sure that they would both enjoy a lot more.

 

Watching Ladybug put clothes on on top of her suit was much more erotic than watching women remove their clothing, Adrien decides. She slid on an expensive pair of designer jeans. Ankle socks, custom Nikes. Ladybug was definitely at least almost as rich as he was if her disguise clothing could be any indication. The fact that she owned some of this  _ at all _ was a huge tell for her income, Adrien was very familiar with recognizing money. If she is rich, it’s probably why she didn’t seem to care too much about his level of fame and fortune. Maybe she was a famous person, too? That seems a little unfair, for both of Paris’ superheroes to come from the extremely fortunate. She pulls on a long, black coat and undoes her twin ponytails. Not wearing any MDC today, but Adrien recognizes the coat as Comme des Garcons this time. Adrien thinks he may have worked that collection, but he’s not sure. He never is sure. He’s starting to feel a little  _ underdressed _ by the fact that his outfit was only worth a few hundred Euro, actually. Ladybug finishes off her look with thick, sporty frames. They didn’t do very much hide her mask, but it seems that between them and her hair being loose around her face, there was enough of a case to argue against it being her if she keeps her head down.

“What do you think?” Ladybug smiles sweetly. Adrien’s stomach flutters.

“Expensive.”

 

A haunted house. Ladybug was taking him to a haunted house. Adrien feels his heart skip a beat in excitement. This was an  _ excellent date _ . Ladybug was really good at this, but he already knew she was creative in the best possible way.

“I’ve never been to one of these before,” he confesses and Ladybug’s eyes sparkle with cheerful anticipation in return.

“Are you scared?” she teases. He almost returns the question but he already knows that she is technically the bravest person in France.

“Not with you by my side,” he opts for flirting instead and Ladybug’s face lights up with a shy pink and Adrien feels rather proud of himself. She’s really cute.

“You are  _ very _ lucky that I’m here, then! But really… if you have a phobia or anything, let me know. We scan skip the clown floor if you’ve got a clown thing,” Ladybug offers.

“I don’t have anything against clowns. I think pretty much all I’m afraid of is being imprisoned,” he smiles,  _ and Hawkmoth _ .

“You get arrested a lot for a boy afraid of that,” she teases, “I guess I’ll cross ‘escape room’ from my date idea list.”

“What are you afraid of?” he beams one of this killer smiles. Adrien loves this playful banter between them. It came so easily and it was  _ fun _ .

“Failure,” her answer is so quick that it almost startles him.

“Well I hope nobody dresses up as  _ that _ ,” he jokes.

 

Adrien knew he wasn’t scared, or at least that he  _ shouldn’t _ be. He was Chat Noir!  _ This should be nothing! I’m strong and powerful and I’ve seen worse things! Horrific, terrible things! _ He also wanted to impress Ladybug with his bravery as Adrien. He really did. But it was not only  _ very dark _ but he didn’t have his glasses or Chat Noir’s mask to be able to see what is around him. It was totally understandable that he would get spooked by some creature jumping out at him unexpectedly! He felt incredibly embarrassed about it, but Ladybug held his hand after that and he did  _ like _ that bonus. He liked it a lot.

“This is creepier than I expected,” Ladybug leans in close to him to say when they’ve gone through a very stressful bit with parts of the wall that  _ reached out to touch them _ . Adrien is getting more and more anxious the further they get into the route. There was no telling when someone else would try to scare him and where they would come from when they did. He just wishes he could see. The ambient noise in the place, chainsaws and screams, was enough to mask the sound of any movement that he would usually rely on. All of his senses were no use anymore. He had no defenses left at all! Only Ladybug’s hand, which he realized he was holding  _ very tightly _ .

 

Adrien was completely adorable. How was it possible for a grown man to be so cute? He was nearly shaking, his hand in hers and pressed up tightly against her side like he expected someone to snatch one of them away. He was a total mess, and that was totally unexpected, and Ladybug was totally  _ loving _ every second of it. Adrien squinting, whipping his baseball-hatted head around anxiously like there were unseen threats lurking  _ everywhere _ . Her heart was fluttering at it. She wanted to protect him, he was something really worth protecting. Adrien’s foot gets caught in something and he stumbles a few steps before falling completely to the ground, sputtering some soft curses. Ladybug stifles her laugh. Before she can help Adrien up, one of the costumed actors swings down at Adrien and he lets out a panicked shout. A shout for Ladybug. A firework goes off in her gut. His call felt so familiar, so natural. Like it was his very first instinct to call to her for help. Like he truly believed in his heart of hearts that she would  _ always _ save him. Satisfied with his reaction, the actor contributes some lines to the plot of the house in a deep, croaky voice. Adrien is  _ trembling  _ when Ladybug helps him off the floor.

“Are you doing okay?” she checks. She hadn’t really thought of the possibility that Adrien Agreste could have been someone that was easily frightened when she booked this. He always seemed so impassive about Akumas. Adrien squeezes her hand in response.

“Let’s keep going.”

 

“That was  _ awesome! _ ” Adrien grins to himself as he wraps his arms around Ladybug’s shoulders. 

“Says the scaredy-cat,” Ladybug chuckles, launching them up into the sky. Adrien clings to her, taking in the scent of her designer clothes and the way her hair blows against his face.

“Sometimes letting yourself be scared is fun!”

“I’m glad you liked it,” she huffs back at him, focused on getting them back to his condo.

“They did a good job making everything creepy!” he wants her to forget how embarrassingly  _ scared to death _ he had been. He was mortified at having acted like that in front of her. Out of all the people! He thought that he was brave! He had never been afraid of anything like that, but the whole… everything of the house sucked him in and got into his head. And it had been fun to let that happen, he just wished he hadn’t looked like an idiot in front of the woman he loved. He jumps into his window and she slides in gracefully after him.

“Thank you,” he shoots her a wide smile. She smiles back bashfully and he feels a thrust of excitement in his chest.

 

“Can you stay for a while?” Adrien looks at her with so much hope in his eyes. Ladybug tries to ignore how much affection she has developed for him in the last three hours, but her mouth betrays her.

“Sure.”

“Can I get you something? Juice or a drink or water?” Adrien offers, because he definitely needs a drink after all of that psychological torture.

“Juice would be fine,” Ladybug nods her head, looking around aimlessly. The penthouse was familiar to her now due to all of her exploring. It was a nice place. Maybe she should be looking for something similar in her own apartment-search. She knew that Adrien owned this, though. It was definitely not rented. Maybe she should do that, too. Find something permanent. Because things were never going to change. She would always be alone, at least she would have someplace to go back to.

“Is grapefruit okay?” Adrien opens the carton and sniffs at it and then squints at the side, holding it close to his face, “Maybe not grapefruit, nevermind.”

“Can you not see?” Ladybug ventures, watching Adrien pour the carton contents down the sink. Adrien’s adam’s apple jumps immediately but his expression otherwise remains stoic.

“I uh… guess I can tell you. I’m not like,  _ blind-blind _ , but my vision is extremely bad,” he seems  _ ashamed _ of it when he tells her, “I don’t wear glasses because I don’t want anyone to see.”

“Do you not wear contacts?” she frowns. It was weird for people to be like this about needing glasses.

“I’m usually fine. I don’t want anyone to tell from paparazzi photos, either,” he mumbles, going back to the refrigerator, “The cranberry juice is still good, is that okay? It’s diet, though so it’s not very sweet.”

 

“Why don’t you want anyone to know? It’s not anything to be ashamed of. Most people need glasses, Adrien. It's _normal_!”

“But I’m a model! I’m  _ perfect _ ,” he cracks his neck as he pours the juice. He pours a smaller amount into another glass but tops it with lime flavored vodka.

“I don’t think glasses would hurt you,” Ladybug chuckles, taking off her fake ones she had been wearing. She slides them onto his ears and he feels his face heat up immediately. She’s  _ so close _ . Her beautiful blue eyes are set completely on him.

“My father always… didn’t… told me not to wear them,” he blinks at her, unable to form proper sentences with what was going on about her in the back on his mind. Ladybug frowns.

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You’re super hot in glasses!” she says. Adrien lets out a short laugh, giddy that Ladybug has complimented him again.

“I guess I just have a complex, now.”

“You should wear them. Everyone will love it, I guarantee,” she grins happily. Adrien cranes his neck forward, closing the short distance between them for a kiss.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plagg did def not Cataclysm any hamsters! He took it back to the store or something because Adrien was in a real bad place w/ drugs or something at the time. But they probably won’t talk about this again so I wanted to say this so you can be Not Mad at Plagg.


	8. Chapter 8

It feels serendipitous that just a few days after Ladybug says that he looks good in specs that a brand reaches out to him to work on an eyewear collection. Adrien is still a little hyped up from Ladybug, so he approves the project quickly without paying too much attention to it. Work is work, after all. It’s a week after that where someone calls to ask if he has a prescription and if he is available to come in to try on the prototypes, so he’s already forgotten who this project was for. It’s that conversation that results in him at an optometrist, eyes completely dilated, when there is an akuma attack. He spends the whole fight internally cursing at Bulgari or Dolce- whichever one- probably Armani- that was making him do this whole glasses thing. Ladybug assumes Chat Noir is drunk and/or hungover and after a few more little incidents of bad luck during the battle, he can do nothing to convince her otherwise. When someone from MDC ( _Of course it was MDC!_ ) calls that afternoon to advise they received his glasses prescription, he sets his mind on some mild revenge.

 

* * *

 

“Ladybug!” Adrien’s excitement to see her makes him forget that he’s in the middle of a fight. A fist collides with his cheek, but he takes it in stride and quickly subdues the culprit.

"Adrien?" Ladybug blinks in a fleeting mixture of confusion and concern. Then she is annoyed, and Adrien recognizes that immediately. He turns away, no time to worry about that right now while someone new is throwing a fist at him. The men start to murmur Ladybug's name, and quite a few of them retreat. Adrien delivers a solid kick to his opponent's torso just before he is restrained. Ladybug wraps everyone up individually, and Adrien waits through it, breathing heavily. Now that there weren't any external threats to worry about, he could lock his hazy focus completely on the red-clad superhero. She was not happy, but she went around to each person involved in the fight and spoke to them before letting them go. Most dispersed afterwards, and all that talking took so much time. Adrien wonders each time what she could be saying to them. Ladybug saved him for last.

"Go stand outside in an alley. I will take you home," she directs, her voice cold. Adrien can do nothing but nod. Their eyes meet as she unties him, but Adrien can't think of anything to say. Not even to ask why she was there.

 

"What are you doing, starting a fight in a gay bar?" Ladybug chides once they are safe and sound at his place.

"I don't… really remember," Adrien chuckles nervously.

"Why were you even there?" she doesn't know why she's asking. It's more or less clear by now.

"I thought it would be fun, maybe? I don't know. I'm sorry, Ladybug. I didn't think you would ever…" Adrien's voice trails off like he's forgotten words, which maybe he has. He looked like he wanted to keep apologizing, but Ladybug wasn't going to accept it yet.

"Can you imagine what would happen if the police had shown up instead of me?" Ladybug crosses her arms. Adrien looks _afraid_. Ladybug swallows, remembering what he said about people getting angry at him. He shouldn't look so scared. She lets her arms fall back down.

"I d-don't care what people think… or what they wanna say- they will say whatever they want no matter what I do. I juss… I'm drunk. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm drunk. Please don't hate me. Please," he confirms her suspicions. Ladybug pulls Adrien into a light hug and he almost falls over.

"I don't hate you. You can't solve anything with violence, Adrien. You have to stop fighting people."

"Fighting is all I know howta do," he mumbles into her shoulder.

"What if you really hurt someone? You have to stop. For me, okay?"

 

* * *

 

“Do you have a black eye?” Martin accuses immediately, forgoing a greeting or any pleasantries at all. Martin was who Adrien primarily dealt with at MDC so they were pretty familiar with each other in a professional sense. Adrien instinctively reaches up to his face, he thought he had done a pretty good job covering it up with makeup.

“At least we weren’t taking more than internal reference photos today,” Martin tuts with his tongue. Adrien gives him what he hopes is an apologetic smile and Martin leads him into a conference room with several people. Adrien can’t help but to pick out Marinette Dupain-Cheng, sitting so inconspicuously at the table with everyone else. No wonder he had never had any idea. She looked fairly cool in her own suit but she didn’t overpower the rest of her team like designers usually did. She meets his gaze with a humble directness. All of the revenge he had been thinking about melts away. This woman had been his friend! And she hired him for every job that she could. There was no way he could bring himself to be rude. It was stupid to have even thought of it.

“Please sit, Monsieur Agreste. As discussed, we have several prototypes ready and are hoping for  your feedback, but only one in each the eyeglasses and sunglasses have been fitted with your prescription so those will have to be the ones you wear publicly for now,” Martin points them out in the rows on eyewear set out on the table. Adrien hesitates. _What is this guy talking about?_

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t… really read what it was I’m doing here,” Adrien looks to Marinette again but she has no reaction, like she expected him to have no idea, “I’m a little lost.”

“What did you think you were coming in for?” one of the other women in the room says. Adrien recognizes her as one of the more recent Hawk Moth victims. The one from the MDC photoshoot. What was her name?  
“This is a collaborative collection,” Martin ignores the woman’s comment completely. Adrien watches Marinette shake her head at the woman in silent warning. _Ah, there’s that tough reputation_. Martin is still explaining, “So we want to work with you exclusively on your feedback and opinions for the collection. You’ll publicly wear the pieces as promotion when possible in addition to the typical model duties.”

“Why me?” Adrien feels confused. This is more than unusual. It’s weird. Nobody does this. And to _collaborate_? He looks at Marinette again and her blush deepens. She really was someone that used what she had to get what she wanted, wasn’t she?

“You’ve never done eyewear before, so our angle is that complete exclusivity. With your background and experience, we project that this could be incredibly successful for both of us,” Martin is explaining. _Why is MDC letting Martin do all the talking?_ Martin’s word salad makes sense and is probably true, but Adrien can tell by the look on MDC’s face what the real reason is. She just wants _him_ , and this is an excuse.

“And what is my compensation for this?” Adrien ventures, not breaking eye contact with MDC as he says it. He knows what this is now and Adrien feels _conflicted_. He would probably be way less conflicted if he wasn’t almost a thing with Ladybug.

 

“Half,” Marinette answers. It’s the first thing she’s said since Adrien walked in and hasn’t stopped _staring_ at her. Did he remember she was Ladybug or is this something else?

“Half?” he gawks, obviously shocked. He probably wasn't used to getting anything except direct compensation, and definitely nothing on a percentage of profit. Marinette glances at Martin, but her accountant speaks up instead.

“Of profit. As typical for collab. This is only a limited edition collection, so we project we should make around a million each. Eighteen frames at a run of 200 each, list price 500,” Piotr rattles off the numbers like they mattered to Adrien, but Marinette can see that it makes no difference to him besides the fact that he is shocked to be offered anything at all. 

“We are only doing six sunglass frames- those will retail for more,” Martin adds, they are still acting like Adrien bothered to do the mental math about it. He definitely didn't need that much time to do it, if he had bothered. Marinette shifts now that Adrien’s stare has finally left her. Doubt was starting to creep in. She was overstepping. When celebrities wanted to make their own things, they were usually the ones to reach out. Adrien didn’t even pay attention to what they were doing, he just showed up because he was asked to show up.

“But why?” Adrien breaks into warm laughter that seems to brighten the room but does nothing to melt the burgeoning regret in Marinette’s chest. She shouldn’t have brought him into her personal life. She shouldn’t be doing this. She just wanted to give him glasses, but they didn't need this for that. She should have just waited for next year with the unisex couture gowns to get close to him.

“Because why not?” Marinette finds herself speaking up again and Adrien’s green eyes come back to hers. He grins in approval.

 

He tries on each of the prototypes, some fragile and made of paper. He offers his input and the small design team includes him in their weird discussions about shapes. They are mostly trying to make sure that each frame suits him and is flattering. Adrien isn’t used to it at all but it is a little fun. The people in the meeting room thin out as the day progresses until he looks up from the mirror to find only MDC and Martin left. Adrien knew what was going on.

“You did want to speak to me after all, didn’t you?” he smirks, catching eye contact with Marinette again. It was so easy, her eyes never left his.

“W-what?” her peep. Martin frowns but Adrien ignores him.

“That’s what this is, right? Like with Thierry?” Adrien smiles. The comment is good-natured but he sees the way that it changes both of them. MDC’s blue eyes fall to the table. Adrien guesses that he has unwittingly enacted some of the petty revenge that he had originally planned on.

“Marinette has a conference call shortly,” Martin checks his phone, “Maybe you should go get prepared. We will probably still be here when the call is over.”

“O-oh… already? But… right. I’m sorry, Adrien. If I don’t make it back, be sure you take the glasses-glasses with you! Your prescription was pretty bad. Don’t forget,” she smiles but doesn’t make eye contact, gathering up her things and sliding out of the room.

 

“I’m not sure if you were cock-blocking me or cock-blocking her,” Adrien decides to get it all in the open. He knows that he said something that might have upset MDC and that her assistant gave her an easy out. Martin was astute, or their partnership was close. Maybe both.

“I thought you were childhood friends,” Martin says, turning over a pair of spectacles in his hands.

“I didn’t even remember her,” Adrien confesses, taking the glasses from Martin and putting them on. He squints at himself in the mirror.

“Marinette remembers you, though. She’s always asked that I treat you well because you are her friend. That was out of respect and without any ulterior motive. Marinette is not that sort of person.”

“Oh, do you like her?” Adrien blinks, getting drawn in a little to the gossip part of it. He couldn’t help it. He was a curious guy, and Martin sounded smitten.

“Not like that. When I first started here I tried to play that angle with her because that’s what everyone said to do. But Marinette is genuine and righteous. It was cruel to lead her on, if you understand what I mean? You’ve got the wrong idea somewhere.”

"I get it," Adrien sighs. The woman was going to remain an enigma.

"You may not realize this, but she does you a lot of favors. You don't have to be purposefully cruel like that. She never expected anything back but respect," Martin finishes his lecture. Adrien feels like he is getting lectured a lot lately. He feels _bad_ , too. MDC's _assistant_ had to vouch for her character and did it so earnestly and without having to be asked. Adrien doesn’t want this guy to be mad at him.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to Marinette. You're the one that thinks this is a joke. She has been working on these prototypes non-stop for days."

 

* * *

 

"I thought that she was trying to buy me for a million Euro," Adrien laments. He's now shamefully researched MDC's collections. She never did any sort of project where Thierry was the primary model, or even close. If anything, Adrien realizes, _he_ was MDC's primary male model. Martin had been right, she was doing him favors. It might even be that she was designing clothing specifically with him in mind. It was a possibility that Adrien had never considered.

"She doesn't know that your asking price is only one drink?" Plagg responds, a special blend of mocking annoyance in his tone.

"It was really mean to bring up her ex," Adrien ignores it, closing out of all the tabs on his computer until he gets to his desktop. His wallpaper is a picture of his mother he pulled from IMDB, the only personal photos he has are in a safety deposit box. Because he had to steal them out of his father's house. _Mother would be disappointed in me about that. And about what I said today. And about my whole life._

"You don't like it when people do that to you, either. Maybe you should think about that."

"Yeah. Let's go have some fun."

"Maybe you should call Ladybug instead," Plagg suggests. Adrien shakes his head, feeling like he didn't deserve Ladybug today. Besides, he was still mortified that she had caught him fighting in a gay bar. He didn't even go in there with any intentions, he was just a little burnt out on women clinging all over him everywhere and wanted to be someplace without a lot of them. It wasn't his fault that someone wanted to argue about fashion and then bring up his father. Of course he had to fight, then. Adrien didn't even know that Ladybug still did anything that wasn't fighting akumas. What if she just thought he was gay now? How would he even start to explain that? She already thought it about Chat.

 

* * *

 

Despite his newfound ability to see properly, Adrien Agreste drunkenly knocks over a sculpture worth half a million in the lobby of a hotel. At least he knows where his glasses profit is going. He also has to go to a different hotel.


	9. Chapter 9

His limo broke down. With steam or smoke coming out of the engine and everything. This was insane Bad Luck. Usually he would consider it comical. However, Adrien's only job today was to show up  _ in a limo _ and get his picture taken at the movie premiere. That was it. The terms of the contract were just those two things. The limo place had no other cars available because everyone else was going to the premiere too, and if he waited for one of those to double back for him he would be late. He frantically searches around in his phone, calling every limo place that he can. Even with dropping his name, he wasn't getting anywhere. Adrien stops himself from running his hands through his hair and messing up the styling. He was extremely stressed, and  _ now there's a butterfly staring me in the face. Nice to see you too, Father. _

"You can help me out by sending a nice car instead, you know," Adrien grumbles at it. Just what he needed. Out in the open where he can't even transform and Cataclysm it. Now this thing was going to akumatize someone and he would definitely be late  _ and _ without a limo. Adrien looks down at his phone, thinking. He hits Ladybug in his contacts, eyeing the akuma. It was like it was just waiting on him, he had to stay the right amount of distressed so that he didn't send it away to someone else nearby with stronger emotions than him.

"You've reached her," Ladybug answers, she is probably in a place where she can't say who she is.

"I'm on the corner of Rue du 4 Septembre and Rue Richeliu. There's something here you should clean up immediately," he whispers, covering his mouth as he speaks. He isn't sure if Hawk Moth can hear him or see him do this through his butterfly. He would prefer that his father not know he has a direct civilian line to Ladybug now, but Adrien also doesn't have much of a choice.

"I'll be there," Ladybug hangs up. Adrien swallows, focusing on his staring match with the akuma. It only takes Adrien's favorite heroine two minutes to get to him.

 

"Adrien!" she shouts with worry as she lands heroically on the sidewalk. Her yoyo whips out across his line of vision in a red blur and the butterfly is gone, "No more evil doing for you… bye bye little butterfly."

"Cool!" Adrien gives Ladybug a thumbs up. He can hear people taking pictures of this. Ladybug's eyes dart around the scene, parsing out what must have happened to him to lure an akuma.

"How did you do that?"

"I've told you those things can't get me but he keeps trying. I'm supposed to be showing up at a movie premiere right now for work," Adrien gives her a tense smile.

"Do you want me to take you, Buttercup?" Ladybug eyes the broken limo. Adrien swallows. She's not a fancy car, but she's  _ Ladybug _ . He would definitely have his photograph taken if she dropped him off. Those photographs would definitely get more press than the rest of the premiere. His client would definitely be satisfied with that. It would definitely solve his problems.

"Please. If you don't mind. Just don't mess up the look," he gestures at himself. Ladybug giggles and wraps an arm securely around his waist, throwing her yoyo at the sky. Ladybug, savior of Paris, swings down onto the red carpet to drop off Adrien Agreste, international supermodel, and she kisses his cheek before she takes off again. Everyone goes  _ wild _ .

 

* * *

 

"Thank you so much for the lift, you really saved me. I really didn't know what I was going to do," Adrien says when he's done laughing about the way she answered his call. Marinette smiles to herself, noting the way that Alya is looking at her.

"Happy to help, but I think you should think about getting your own chauffeur or something," she suggests, "I am giving you a lot of free rides."

"Why get some stodgy old driver when I already have Ladybug?" Adrien is up for the banter, "Besides, you're free!"

"Don't think that I am transporting you around without any hope of compensation," Marinette warns playfully.

"I can't even begin to imagine what sort of favors the heroine of Paris would call in to poor little Adrien Agreste," he laughs. The way that he says his name has the same amount of distaste that Chat uses for it.

"There's plenty I could use you for," Marinette answers. She already was. Not that he would know that.

"Please  _ use me _ in any way you'd like, Lady," he says with an amount of husk in his voice that Marinette literally feels herself become completely weak at. She can't even think of how to answer him. A few seconds of quiet pass between them.

"I'm sorry if I crossed a line, Ladybug. I was just-"

"It's fine. It's more than fine. I just don't know what to say," Marinette assures, hearing how panicked he sounds, "I am um… interested."

"Oh! Uh… good. I was really just calling to thank you for yesterday… can I take you out for dinner? Now that we've got the rumor mill working on us anyway?" he offers.

 

"That was some grade A flirting," Alya compliments, "Especially for you."

"He's going to take Bug out for fancy dinner tonight," Marinette's eyes are wide with panic.

"At least you know what to wear," Alya smirks at her.

"What… what if we… you know!"

"You know how to do it, you'll be fine," Alya giggles. Marinette rolls her eyes in a flustered dismay.

"No, like… with the  _ Ladybug _ thing!"

"Oh, right. Are you gonna tell him who you are or like wear sunglasses while you're fucking?"

"I don't know! He apparently can keep HM's identity a secret so he could keep mine too but what if Moth uses whatever he has over him to get my identity? I've never told anyone I dated as Marinette my identity, but…"

"I know," Alya says softly.

"I can't sleep with him until I figure it out," Marinette sighs with regret. 

"No way. This is your chance. You've been lusting over that Agreste body since we were kids and if you can get it you should _get it_! Be empowered! _Blindfold_ _him_!"

" _ Dieu _ , Alya!" Marinette blushes uncontrollably.

 

* * *

 

"You're wearing glasses!" Ladybug is delighted to see it when she lands in front of Adrien's building. He's also wearing khakis with a black polo but she doesn’t comment about those. Ladybug is wearing, well, Ladybug. Adrien wonders what (who) she would have worn if she was dating him as a civilian. More MDC probably?

"I might as well, since you think it's cute," Adrien grins, "it's actually for work, too. They want me to promo by wearing it around."

"They suit you," she's blushing. Adrien passes her a helmet.

"I'll drive you today! At least there," he laughs.

"How generous of you!" Ladybug rolls her eyes dramatically and Adrien thinks that it's adorable. He helps her put on the helmet even though she says that she doesn't need help. She climbs on the motorcycle behind him and Adrien reaches back for her arms and wraps them around his torso.

"What will people say?" Ladybug laughs at him.

"Who cares? Hang on tight, Lady!" Adrien rips out recklessly down the street. Her hold on him does tighten a little and he smiles to himself about it. Gold star for that plan.

 

"Did you think I was taking you somewhere fancy?" Adrien is giving her the biggest shit-eating grin that Ladybug has seen this side of Paris since Chat Noir, and that was really saying something.

"Or at least someplace that served wine," Ladybug says. She doesn't want to give the blonde the satisfaction of throwing her off. He was still probably trying to get even with her for the haunted house thing. Or for beating him at digital tennis.

"The Greeks have wine too!" Adrien smiles, removing his helmet and then taking Ladybug's, "Sorry that it isn't expensive."

"You know I don't care about that. Besides, I really like gyros," Ladybug assures, holding open the door to the restaurant for him. Adrien doubles over in laughter and it takes her a second to realize why.  _ Gyros, Euros _ .  _ Sound alike. What a dork! _ But she finds herself laughing too, just because when Adrien laughs it feels infectious. Before they can even go in, there is a loud rumble that echoes down the street and they look at each other.  _ Akuma _ . Ladybug is instantly filled up with regret and disappointment. Of course an akuma would have to interrupt her fancy gyro date with Adrien before it even started. It really doesn't help that Thierry's words about never being around echo in her head about it.

"Please get someplace safe, I have to go. I am so sorry," she apologizes, pushing Adrien roughly into the restaurant and breaking into a run down the sidewalk.  _ Duty first. _

 

Adrien curses his stupid luck. Why was it always so terrible? Of course there had to be an akuma attack right now when he was going to show Ladybug his favorite restaurant. It's not often he can splurge on calories like this, either.

"I'll be back!" he makes eye contact with Vander the proprietor in a quick promise before rushing out onto the street after Ladybug. Adrien wrestles with himself for a second, he almost wants to show up as a civilian and help her like that but he ducks between a bench and a parked car to transform. Chat Noir has no problem catching up to the action.

"You were fast," Ladybug comments as they hide together behind a newly abandoned bus. Chat notes that it has Adrien's face plastered on it.

"So were you," he can't help himself but to tease her suggestively. Chat can tell that she holds back a laugh.

"I'm busy right now so let's get this done as fast as we can," Ladybug recomposes herself and says decisively. For a second Chat Noir's stomach has more butterflies in it than Hawk Moth's lair.

"Sure, Bugster. I'll get you back to Adrien Agreste right away!"

" _ Chaton, _ " she groans at him, mortified. He smiles as he rushes at the monster.

 

* * *

 

It was not right away. It was nothing close to what could even conceivably be considered immediate. It might have even technically been opposite of fast. Chat Noir is glad that he had been pretty sober for this fight, because it was way harder than usual. He wasn't sure if the victim was just really talented or if there's something up with Hawk Moth. He groans to himself, realizing he will have to look up what his father has been up to lately on the internet later. 

"Pound it," Ladybug looks just as depressed as Chat feels. He listlessly bumps his knuckles against hers. They probably could have used help today instead of wearing themselves thin over the four hours. Was the rest of the team busy or something?

"Get some rest, kitty," Ladybug tells him before taking off. He smiles, glad that she cares about him a little behind the mask. He makes his way back to the Greek restaurant and lets his transformation go. The door is locked. Adrien checks his Rolex, past midnight. Great. Because now he was  _ hungry _ . 

"Adrien!" Vander comes to the door, "We are closed now. Come back tomorrow."

"I know. I just had to wait for the akuma attack to be over," Adrien apologizes. That's when Ladybug lands next to him, she must have recharged before coming back here.

"Ladybug!" Vander brightens up with a pleased surprise.

"Hello citizen," she smiles kindly but Adrien has to stifle a laugh.

"You are friends with Ladybug, Adrien? Here... let me see if I can find something for you, Ladybug. Stay right here!" Vander insists. Ladybug's eyes meet Adrien's.

"I'm so sorry. I can't believe you waited for me. You really didn't have to."

"I will wait forever for you, doodlebug. You're probably tired. You can go home from here if you want," he offers, scanning the street. His motorcycle is predictably gone. Parked past the two hour limit.

 

* * *

 

The nice man at the restaurant provided them with two containers of hummus, three rounds of almost stale pita bread, and a bag of dry falafel. It wasn't great, if Ladybug was being honest with herself, but she was completely famished after that akuma. She drags another falafel through the hummus and drops the whole thing in her mouth whole.

"Too bad there's no wine with a view like this," Adrien says. He hasn't eaten even a quarter of his container of hummus yet, and only one pita. Not like Ladybug was keeping track or anything.

"There are better roofs for wine," Ladybug answers him once she's swallowed.

"But not better company," Adrien responds automatically, "This is a really pretty spot. Thank you."

"It's one of my favorites," Ladybug nods. She wasn't sure if it was sacrilegious or anything to eat takeaway on top of a church but Sacre-Coeur had a fantastic view and she had wanted to show off to Adrien. The wine might have been going a little far. Ladybug catches herself yawning.

 

"You don't have to force yourself, Bugster. You probably need to go rest. Do you have work tomorrow?" Adrien offers. He was wiped out himself, if the slip into his costumed nickname for her was any indication. Most of him wanted to go home, down a nightcap, and pass out. The rest of him wanted to spend more time with Ladybug.

"I always work," Ladybug confesses softly. It makes sense to him that she would be a workaholic in her regular life, too. Adrien puts the remnants of their makeshift picnic away and stands, reaching out his hand to help Ladybug up too.

"You really don't have a fear of heights, do you?" she blinks up at him before placing her hand in his. Adrien chokes back saying something like 'chats always land on their feet' and just shrugs his shoulders instead. Close one. It would probably be bad if she learned about his alter-ego. There was no way Ladybug would be interested in Chat. It would single handedly crush any hope he's fostered about it with her as Adrien.  _ Late-night thoughts. (It is late-night.) _

"Can I kiss you?" his fingers find her hips as she stands.

 

His hair reflects the lighting from the streets and the moon and his skin is soft. His mouth tastes a little like hummus. Ladybug melts into him. Sure wants him, she does. He was cheerful and mostly kind, just like she remembered. Adrien made her laugh and she liked being with him. How beautiful he is really doesn't help. Ladybug knows that she is in love with him again and that nothing is going to be simple about it.

"What do I tell my PR rep to say about us?" Adrien whispers at her once their lips part. Ladybug almost gasps, her heart racing. She meets his peridot eyes in the darkness.

"Let everyone know that you're mine," she dares. Adrien kisses her again, intensely. A hand at the back of her head and in the small of her back to pull them as close together as he could.

"We are going to break so many hearts."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cool, cool... its time to start drowning in akumas and start hinting at backstory. I really do have this whole thing drafted out I swear ok

The PR firm advised against making the relationship public right away, and Adrien let them have it. They saved his ass more than enough to be allowed to do what they thought was best. Just the rumors and the photos of Adrien together with Ladybug was already more than enough. People definitely knew. It doesn't even take a whole day until the first akuma.

"I didn't stop to think that this would happen," Ladybug tells Chat Noir. He swallows. He should have warned her. Hawk Moth would take every opportunity to akumatize someone where the blame could be left at Adrien's feet. There were going to be more of them, and they were going to be akumas that specifically  _ wanted _ to fight Ladybug. He was creating akumas that didn't just simply hate Adrien Agreste for breaking their hearts, he was creating ones that hated  _ Ladybug _ for it. He was giving Moth some really good material to work with.  _ Motivated people. _

"Maybe the dating Adrien Agreste plan was a bad idea," Chat Noir frowns.

"That wasn't part of the plan, I just  _ like him _ ," Ladybug argues. Chat tries to ignore how happy that makes him.

"Are you still going to do the part of the plan where you get what information he knows?" Chat Noir asks. Ladybug doesn't answer, instead calling for her Lucky Charm. It's a TV remote. Chat makes some jokes about it as Ladybug scans the area, calculating.

"I'm going to need your tail, kitty," she says.

 

“This is what happens when you date celebrities,” Chat Noir grumbles. Ladybug pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration. The akuma victim  _ yelled at her _ after being saved.

“And how would you know that, do you go around dating a bunch of famous people?” she chides in annoyance. Chat Noir hesitates for a second, knowing that what he’s about to say is very dangerous. Bordering on blatant negligence with his identity.

“Kagami Tsurugi,” he shrinks his baton and holsters it, avoiding looking at his partner’s reaction.

“ _ What? _ Are you kidding?” she chokes at him in disbelief.

“Yeah. Don’t go researching it.”

“Didn’t Adrien Agreste date her too? Wasn’t there a huge thing with that?”

“What can I say, Lady? We have the same taste in women,” Chat smiles fakely. He watches the seriousness darken Ladybug’s features. He has to salvage it now, “I didn’t mean anything by that, LB. Just pointing out facts.”

“Your real life never ceases to shock me, Noir,” she turns away from him, “But there are going to be more of these akumas, aren’t there?”

“You are like the top two people on Moth’s hit list. I’m going to have to go stock up on cheese, the next week might be really busy,” he sighs, glad for the subject change, “Luckily gossip cycles are really fast, you have two days of direct fallout for each thing that hits the press. Then after a week, people have forgotten. You just have to lay low.”

“You really did date Kagami…” Ladybug blinks at him, impressed with his knowledge. Chat Noir shrugs. He didn’t really want to hear her name, or think about her at all, except for that this situation was reminding him about her a lot.

 

* * *

 

Adrien gets in line at the third grocery store. It was really difficult buying so much camembert on such short notice. With his new sunglasses he can at least read the titles on the gossip mags. Not that he needed to. He should have known better, he was just so used to this being his life. Used to everyone talking about everything that he did all the time, so much so that he stopped thinking about it. They were going to get a bunch of difficult akumas all at once. Adrien wonders what kind of job Ladybug has that could allow her to rush off in the middle of the day to beat up bad guys? He was sure he could only do it because of the way that he barely worked at all. He didn’t really even have to model, he had investments and some properties with passive income. It was just good to have the extra cash to fund his adventures and his disasters. Adrien finally steps up to the cashier. There’s a price on a good time, and it’s expensive. Quality cheese is also expensive.  _ I wonder if I can bill Father for all this cheese once he gives it up, or when we defeat him or he keels over. Maybe I can send him an invoice for fucking me up so bad, too. Sue for damages or something. _

 

* * *

 

“Do you think Adrien Agreste and Ladybug are really dating?” Martin ventures. He’s curious, especially after hearing what Adrien said to Marinette the day of the prototype meeting. If anything, shouldn't she be hurt by him? Martin knew about his boss’ secret double life but had never hinted to her that he did. He just dutifully covered for her when the need arose. Martin was, in the end, only Marinette Dupain-Cheng's lackey.

“You’re interested in this?”

“They don’t really seem like they suit each other. Ladybug is so kind, and Adrien is…”

“A mess?” Marinette supplies helpfully, quickly tracing over a template.

“Selfish and cocky,” Martin corrects. 

“You like that, though,” Marinette shakes her head.

“You do too!” Martin chuckles. It’s not like anyone could  _ not _ have a crush on Adrien Agreste. Not only was he super hot, he was typically pretty loveable a character. Nice enough and made enough mistakes and was human enough that he seemed  _ almost attainable _ . The most marketable man on the planet.

"I don't know what Ladybug sees in him," Martin decides to provoke Marinette a little. She works on drawing for a few moments before answering.

"He is honest and straightforward, I think she appreciates that," Marinette shrugs, "He's pretty funny and charming."

"He's pretty  _ pretty _ ," Martin ventures.  _ Funny and charming _ were words better used for Chat Noir, and Ladybug obviously didn't care much for it there.

"Yeah, maybe Ladybug's just as shallow as the rest of us," the designer laughs.

 

* * *

 

"Nadia Chamack wants to do an interview with you about the Ladybug rumors. The PR guys thinks this is this best way," Adrien's manager Charles explains to him over Facetime. Adrien wrinkles his nose. Making a statement now will drag out the akumas for more days.

"Not today. I'd have to prepare, she likes to grill me," he declines.

"Good, because it's tomorrow. All you have to do is play nice and say some cute shit about love and people will eat it up."

"I don't think anyone really buys it when I say cute shit about love."

"Listen. It's fine. You'll do great. Wear those glasses, they make you look mature. Maybe people will think you've grown up. If Ladybug's giving you a chance, maybe they should too," Charles had a surprisingly good at argument, "Don't smile like that, we know you haven't grown up."

"Ladybug believes in me," Adrien grins.

"See? You can say lovey-dovey shit. Just do that. I'll text you the time and place. It's a video interview. Stay sober."

"Yeah, yeah.' 

 

* * *

 

"Doodlebug!" Adrien yells at her through the phone. Marinette winces at the volume, he was definitely drunk.

"Did you lock yourself out of your house again?" she can't help but to smile. He was just  _ so him _ . Unapologetically Adrien at all times.

"H-how dija know?! But I fixed it! I juss wanted to call my  _ girlfriend _ and say hello!"

"Hello, Adrien," she giggles.

"Lissen, tomorrow I'm doin a…" Adrien trails off.

"Adrien?" Marinette frowns at his sudden silence. There's a knock at her door and she tells them to come in. It's Nino.

"Akuma over by the Eiffel. Kaiju-type," he informs her. Marinette nods. Her time with Adrien kept getting interrupted. How long was he going to be able to put up with this?

"Talk later," Adrien is saying back on the phone, too. He hangs up before Marinette can answer. Weird. She heaves a sigh and calls for Tikki.

"I'm monitoring it today, sorry about last night," Nino nods his head at her.

"Good, because Hawky is finding people that have a grudge against me," Ladybug says before dashing off. The Eiffel Tower is a little far from where Nino and Alya live, so Chat Noir is already there. Ladybug swallows. It's another nighttime akuma and Chat isn't just pleasantly buzzed, he is totally wrecked.

 

"You can't fight like this," is her opening line.

"Iss too bad I already am," he waves his arm at her dismissively.

"No. You can't. I'm going to call Carapace," Ladybug goes for her yoyo. Chat Noir holds his hand out in front of it.

"You really don't hafta. Iss big but weak as shit," he does not want to see Carapace today, "Gimme like fifteen minutes at least."

"Okay kitty, but if Gamera here eats you, that's your fault, not mine," Ladybug relents, she doesn’t seem too happy about it. There's no time to be arguing, they should be focusing on taking down the akuma.

"Deal. Butter's in tha backpack."

"You figured that out already?" Ladybug seemed impressed that he was able to do that while drunk.

"Only thing here thass not monster," Chat Noir shrugs.

"Cataclysm it," Ladybug directs.

"But lucky charrrrrm," he whines.

 

They did end up needing that can of shaving cream, but the fight was over in minutes just like Chat predicted that it would be. Chat Noir had been swatted down to the ground as he destroyed the bookbag and he was still laying there, laughing to himself about something. Ladybug picks up the bag she just returned back to normal and goes to return it to the young woman who had moments before been a rampaging kaiju.

“Do you think you can get close to Adrien just because you’re a superhero?” the woman spits at her, snatching her bag out of Ladybug’s hands. Ladybug stands there, frozen in place as the akuma victim runs away. It was really strange to be met with hostility instead of remorse or appreciation after a fight.

“Fucking Adrien,” Chat Noir giggles. This snaps Ladybug out of it and she shuffles over to go look down at her cat.

“Do you need help getting somewhere safe, chaton?” Ladybug asks him.

“I’m safe if I’m with you,” he smiles dreamily up at her. She groans. 

“Come on, Noir. Stand up,” she pulls him forcefully up off of the grass and he stumbles for his balance and his ring starts beeping.

“Oh no is alert time,” he holds his hand close to his face to look at his ring, “Got… like an hour maybeee.”

“You definitely don’t have an hour, kitty cat. Hold on, I’m taking you to the library.”

“Take me to Adrien’s house,” Chat tells her, “Is neutral place an’ I can try talkin’ to ‘im.”

 

“Yeah? What are you going to talk to him about?” Ladybug smirks. Chat's drunken slurry was similar to Adrien's.

“Tha… the plan stuff. Moth.” She had half expected him to do the Intimidating Father bit with Adrien, actually. Since her father had done it to him at some point. But Chat wouldn’t know that.

“No can do, Tiger. I promised him that I wouldn't tell anyone where he lived," Ladybug sighs. She would honestly like nothing more than to drop the cat on Adrien's doorstep. It sounded so simple and she was sure that they would get along.  _ Or _ they would get in a fight. She wasn't about to let Chat beat up the poor model, Adrien didn't have any super powers to defend himself with.

"Juss put me up on toppa the tower," Chat Noir points up at the Eiffel cheerfully.  _ What is he so happy about? _

"No. You are drunk. You will fall. I'm taking you-"

"I'm going home by myself! I want to go home," Chat interrupts her. He skips away before she can argue. Ladybug watches him until he meets some buildings and disappears out of sight. At least he wasn't trying to pole vault home. He'd be fine. He was an adult who could take care of himself. She had her own problems to worry about- mostly the fact that she was now public enemy number one to the part of the population of Paris that was attracted to Adrien Agreste.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang I dont know how I could fit Alix into this. We aren't canon-compliant anymore, poo

Adrien spent the first fifteen minutes after arriving home last night puking up his guts into the toilet. He only even woke up this morning because Charles called him. So Adrien was late to makeup, had a pounding headache, was hungry, and felt  _ tired _ . He knew he wasn't going to have a good talk with Nadia Chamack. She was going to  _ drag him _ and all he could hope to do was to see mentally prepared for it. An impossible task in his physical state. He sits down in the plush chair across from her and the lighting people check him. He can’t back out now.

"Good morning, Monsieur Agreste," she greets him. Adrien smiles back, suddenly remembering that he didn't get the chance to talk about this with Ladybug last night at all.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? There have already been two akumas over this gossip," Adrien says. It's worth a shot.

"That would be more your fault than mine, wouldn't it?"

"I don't belong to the people, Nadia. I'm not obligated to act like some strangers think that I should. I'm free to do what I like."

"You certainly are."

"On in five," someone calls out.

"Thanks for the warm up," Nadia says. Adrien stares at her in a hungover silence for the next five minutes. _ Fuck. I'm fucked.  _

 

"Good morning, Paris. I'm Nadia Chamack, and today I have an exclusive live interview for you with the one and only Adrien Agreste. Good morning, Adrien," she turns from the camera to him.

"Hello, Nadia. Glad to be here," he manages one of his stunning smiles despite how terrible he feels. They are in pleasantries mode, will work up to the big reveal, and then she will make him defend himself. That's just the way things go. 

"Good to see you looking so happy. The people can't help but notice your new look, can you tell us a bit about that?" She prompts.  _ Very friendly pleasantries _ .  _ Suspicious _ . Adrien reaches up to touch his fingers gently to the frames.

"Of course! It turns out that my eyesight has been pretty terrible for a while, so I've partnered up with MDC to design a glasses line. It's still in the early stages of production now, but it's coming," he promotes flawlessly. That was his job, after all.

"They look great on you. This is the first time you've done a collaboration like this?"

"I had that line of Chucks once," Adrien smiles, "but you are correct, I usually commission custom items. I just wanted to try out something new with this. The process has been really interesting so far. It might be a new thing for me."

"We will all look forward to that. You have been getting some attention lately for a reason that is not your makeover."

"Yes it seems that way," Adrien chuckles. He is going to make Nadia say it.

"Ladybug kissed you on the red carpet several days ago, and you've been  _ spotted _ together since then, what is going on there?" Nadia won't let him have it. He was just going to have to say it himself.

"As everyone knows, Ladybug has saved me countless times. I've admired her more than anyone else in my life since I was 13. She's an amazing and inspiring hero. I'm  _ so lucky _ that we've gotten to know each other recently and that we've really clicked. Having Ladybug as my girlfriend is a dream come true," Adrien smiles bashfully. He doesn't have to  _ try _ to sell it, it comes out genuinely.

"So you are confirming that you and Ladybug are an item?"

"Yes, absolutely."

 

"Are you not concerned about each other's safety?" Nadia asks first.

"We are, we absolutely are. Sometimes feelings make you want to take that risk. I know that she will protect me and I will do what I can for her. If something were to happen, the blame would only be Hawk Moth's. We want to try to pursue happiness together despite him."

"And what would you say to all your heartbroken fans?" Nadia asks.

"My fans always say that they want to see me happy and healthy. So I hope that they can support us in this and that they won't be angry at Lady. I'm not retiring or going anywhere, I'm just dating. You can keep fantasizing if you want, nobody's going to stop you. I'm certainly not," Adrien laughs brilliantly, "I appreciate everyone out there that supports me, you have stuck with me through thick and thin and I would never betray my fans."

"You  _ have _ been single for quite some time, so I'm sure this comes as a shock to your followers," Nadia says. Adrien knows where she is going and there is no way he can't walk right into her trap, Nadia is going to get there one way or another.

"It obviously does, but I hope that the fact that I am dating at all signals how serious I am about Ladybug," Adrien's headache gets worse the more he has to calculate what to say.

 

"Is there going to be a shift in the lifestyle we've come to expect from you?"

"I think that's likely. I might play around a lot while single, but I won't purposefully hurt someone that I am dating," Adrien tries to get out in front of it, but leads Nadia right into it.

“And Ladybug trusts you not to cheat around on her like you did with Kagami Tsurugi?” Nadia says with her Concerned Citizen Voice. Adrien knows she’s squashed him.

“That isn’t what happened and Ladybug can make her own decisions. She knows what everyone thinks just as much as anyone else. What I can say is that I'm not the same person that I was back then. I was struggling. I'm comfortable enough with my life now to bring someone else into it, and I want that to be Lady.”

"Do you know her identity?"

"No. We are taking things slow, it hasn’t been very long. The safety of Paris comes first. Ladybug and I will decide together if and when the time is ever right for that."

"It would bother me, dating someone when you can't know who they really are."

"We all know who Ladybug really is."

"If she hasn't trusted you with her identity, how do you know that she trusts you? Do you think that she does? Or that she should?”

“I can’t speak on that,” he gives up, “I just want to be with Ladybug and I’m going to do everything that I can for her. We really like each other and we want to pursue this relationship and whether or not she tells me who she is is nobody's business but hers.”

 

“Well, since you  _ are _ turning over a new leaf of sorts, is there any hope of you reconciling with Gabriel Agreste? Perhaps a collaboration with him?" Nadia asks. Adrien stiffens.

"Absolutely not."

"You want to be forgiven and to get another chance, but you won't extend the same courtesy to your own father? Why?" Nadia was way off-topic. Adrien feels his stomach drop out of him. He only wanted to tell people about Ladybug, he didn't expect to have to defend  _ everything _ . Of course the reporter would bring up Kagami, but his  _ father _ ?

"Someday everyone will understand, but it is for my own health and safety. I have no interest in restoring contact," is his practiced reply. Nadia has heard it before. A lot of interviewers have heard it before.

"You even had your name legally changed?" Nadia points out. Adrien freezes. Nobody knows that. It's how he manages to keep his location hidden. Someday when Hawk Moth wasn't a thing anymore he was going to leave Paris and his career and nobody would ever see him again. That was the plan.

"What's interesting is what you've changed it-"

"Please don't," Adrien stands up quickly, startling her, "I think I've said everything that I needed to say today. Thank you for having me, Nadia."

"It is always a pleasure, Adrien. I hope that you and Ladybug have a long, happy relationship."

"Thank you."

 

* * *

 

He's paid Nadia Chamack ten grand in hush money about his name even though people know to go and look into that now and it won’t help at all. Adrien exits the news station to come face-to-face with the newest Hawk Moth victim. This time it was a  _ Ladybug _ fan angry at  _ Adrien _ . Hawk Moth really wasn’t being picky. The anti-hero was sporting antennas and an honestly kind of cool red and black outfit, circles drawn on but the spots not filled in. Adrien blinks, trying to focus as his headache pounds relentlessly at him. He slides into a defensive pose- he can't transform out in the open and Adrien is the target, so it will be hard to escape.  _ Today sucks _ .

“Adrien Agreste! I’ll protect Ladybug from you and steal your love!” he bad guy yells at him. The only reason that Adrien doesn’t roll his eyes because of his hangover.

“Yeah? What did Moth name you, Love Bug or something?” he can’t help it. The Chat Noir is ingrained too far into him and he was having a bad day. Good decision making wasn’t a priority now that Nadia Chamack is not the one across from him..

“Black Beetle.  _ Take this! _ ” Beetle lashes out with a whip and it definitely hits him.

“Adrien!” a concerned, high-pitched voice yells his name and he finds himself in the arms of a red superhero. She’s pretty. The woman sets him down beside a photo booth.

“Adrien, are you okay?” she knows his name! That’s cool. Where were they? What is happening?

“Yes ma’am. I just feel confused,” he reports honestly. He can see the concern on her face.

 

“Confused how?” Ladybug looks over at the akuma victim. Whatever his power was, she was going to fix it. If he was dressed like that and targeting Adrien, it was someone that thought they liked her.

“I can’t really remember… things aren’t clear,” Adrien looks completely dazed, “I have a headache and I’m tired.”

“Stay right here. Get in the photo booth! I’m going to make it better, okay?”

“Um… sure…” Adrien looks a little distrustful, which was unusual for him. But he gets into the booth and Ladybug is free to go back to the fight. She tries to call Chat Noir but there is no answer.  _ He is probably still passed out from last night. _ Ladybug squares off with Black Beetle.

“Please stop this!” Ladybug hisses at him, “Getting akumatized is not how to get my attention!”

“I’ll steal your love for him and then you will be free to love me!” Black Beetle tells her. Ladybug sighs. He’s removing people’s emotions. That’s totally healthy and normal. Ladybug dodges his whip. It would be nice if Chat Noir showed up right about now.

 

“Come on, Adrien. Let’s go!” Plagg peeks out of the photo booth curtain at the fight.

“Plagg… what’s happening to me? Something’s wrong,” Adrien closes his eyes and leans back against the wall, “I remember Nadia saying something about my father but why was I talking to her?”

“Oh no. Not this forgetting shit again thing,” Plagg groans dramatically, “I  _ hate _ these Akumas.”

“I… think I do too? Who was that red person?”

“Yup. We are sitting this one out, kid. Just try not to think too hard about anything.”

“That sounds good,” Adrien laughs as his phone rings. He answers out of reflex and Charles’ face lights up his screen.

“Well that could have gone better, yeah, but I thought you did fine! You said some good shit.”

“Did I? I just… there’s an akuma, I think?” Adrien frowns, “I got hit with some attack.”

“Well you look fine to me. They didn’t turn you into a tree or anything,” Charles laughs, “Shit about your fake name, though. Do you want to transfer your condo to a shell company or something? That’s what the lawyer dude suggested.”

“Which lawyer? Wasn’t he arrested or something?” Adrien’s head hurts more than maybe any part of him has ever hurt.

“I got you a new one.”

“Yeah, sure. Do that. Call me when I have to sign stuff,” Adrien hangs up and looks at Plagg, “I’m like… supposed to be fighting or something right now, right? That’s what you are… and…”

“I told you to stop thinking, kid,” Plagg rolls his eyes.

“I just can’t let that red woman do this by herself!”

 

“Please let me love you, Ladybug! I’ll take much better care of you than Adrien Agreste!” Beetle was saying. Ladybug groans. Everything out of this dude’s mouth is super cringey.

“I don’t need to be taken care of, I’m fucking  _ Ladybug _ ,” she slings her yoyo out, “Lucky Charm!”

“You deserve everything, Ladybug!” Beetle is saying as a super practical child-catcher-type net falls into Ladybug’s hands. She swipes it at him immediately but he dodges. Ladybug curses internally, watching Beetle rack up some more victims with his whip. Why don’t innocent bystanders  _ leave _ anymore?

“Hey lady,” Chat Noir drops down next to her, “I’ll take the net if you want.”

“Took you long enough, Chat.”

“So we  _ do  _ know each other,” he nods like he’s won some bet or something. Ladybug groans again. Of course he’s been hit by Black Beetle too. She pushes the net into his waiting hands and points at the akuma.

“Please don’t get hurt. Just capture him and we will figure out what the akuma is possessing.”

 

“Miraculous Ladybug!” she screams, throwing the net into the air. Chat stumbles a little, clutching his chest. “Are you okay, Kitty?”

“Y-yeah…” he nods, “I’m going.”

“ _ Bien joue… _ ” Ladybug calls after him and he waves back at her. Ladybug is talking to the man who had been Black Beetle now, probably telling him off or something. Chat Noir slides into the photo booth while nobody is looking.

“Claws in. That definitely did not help my hangover,” Adrien hangs his head.

“You gonna be sick?” Plagg asks.

“Maybe. That was terrible. It felt like I couldn’t piece together my life at all without her existence. It was too confusing,” Adrien sighs.

“Well, she is basically half of it,” Plagg says with a little bit of sass before asking for some camembert. Adrien doesn’t answer. Plagg knows how to help himself and Adrien’s head hurts too much.  _ Did I talk to Charles? _

"All I could think was 'wow this woman is amazing.’ It’s like the seventh time some akuma’s messed with me where I just fell in love again."

 

“Adrien? Are you okay?” Ladybug peers at him around the curtain.

“I just need to sit here for a while,” he mumbles, hoping that she hadn’t overheard any of his conversation with Plagg.

“Well okay… but I have to go. Are you going to be okay getting home alone?”

“No… please… stay for a minute. Not long,” Adrien reaches out and pulls her into the booth with him. Ladybug laughs, settling in beside him.

“Wanna take a picture?” she grins. He rubs his eyes under the glasses and goes for his wallet, passing it off to her. He realizes that her earrings are beeping. He squints at her ear out of habit, she only has three dots left. Adrien doesn’t want her to have to leave. He feels terrible and he's upset about his interview and having to think about his father and Kagami. He's shaken from having Ladybug ripped from his brain and he wants her to stay with him.

“Ladybug…” he isn’t sure what it is out of all of it that he wants to say to her. Ladybug smiles at him with a silent understanding and slides the money into the machine. She takes his hand in hers, gripping tightly. He needs her contact. Adrien’s heart soars at it. He is still staring at her when the first picture gets taken. This is it. He is with Ladybug. They are  _ dating _ .  _ Really dating _ . He is free to love her now. He is free to feel everything he has ever felt about her. All the admiration, the pining, the jealousy and regret. All of the love he has been trying to ignore for years. A fear strikes Adrien. What if he messes it up?

 

* * *

 

Marinette tapes the photo strip into her sketchbook, running her fingers along the edge fondly. She never imagined she would take a picture with Adrien Agreste, and especially not as Ladybug. She closes the sketchbook and wraps the elastic over the cover, returning the book to her purse. Marinette is tired. So many akumas all at once is a little unusual, but of course Hawk Moth would take advantage of this situation to get at her. If he was anywhere close to as worn out about it as she was, there were probably a few hours before the next one. _I should probably patrol tonight, so that I’m ready the second that Hawky is._ _I wonder if the next one will be an Adrien fan or a Ladybug fan._ Marinette’s mind turns back to Black Beetle, the Ladybug fan. His power had been to erase love, like he was creating space for a replacement. He had been in love with her. A sad and delusional type of love, but it had been real to him. Beetle erased both Adrien and Chat, and Chat had forgotten who she was just like Adrien had. If Black Beetle erased romantic love, that meant that Chat Noir was in love with her. Marinette’s stomach clenches up at the realization and flips when she knows that she doesn’t hate it.


	12. Chapter 12

"Cataclysm," Chat Noir sighs. He doesn't even have the energy to do the whole posing thing. He grabs the akumatized butterfly and then wipes the dust off on his hip.

"What the fuck was that?" he knows that voice. Oh no. Ladybug. He does his best not to panic. He's been caught. Bad luck.

"Chat Noir, what the fuck?" Ladybug has to repeat herself. He swallows.

"I… I was going to be akumatized," he figures that it is worth a shot to say it.

"You just killed it!"

"It's not like butterflies live for a long time. How do we even know that Moth doesn't even re-evilize them later?" Chat knows that they are legitimate points because it is how he's been justifying it for a long time.

"You didn't even call me!" Ladybug shouts at him, "Is this a regular thing?"

"I'm sorry," Chat's ears press down against his hair and he looks away from her in shame.

"Chat! How many have you killed like this?"

"They're just butterflies, LB."

"That's not how its supposed to work!" Ladybug is unbelievably angry at him. Chat Noir doesn't know what to do besides run away but he knows he can't run away. He's too compromised to be able to explain to her, too.

 

"If Moth gets me again, we might be finished," Chat Noir says. Ladybug bristles in anger. How dare he say something like that?

"You can control your emotions."

"I have to go, Lady," he turns his back to her.

"No you don't. You're not going anywhere!"

"Getting mad at me won't help and doesn't change anything!" why was he being this way? Ladybug could clearly remember the last time they fought like this. It was almost a decade ago now, she had been interning with Gabriel and realized that Chat Noir had been purposefully endangering the man. Breaking into his home, stealing stuff, setting traps, and straight up attacking him. She and Chat Noir had a big fight about it and barely spoke to each other for months. Luka had been there for her back then. She didn't really want this to go the same way.

"I can't change that I'm mad! I can't believe you've been doing this. What the fuck is going on with you?" Ladybug demands. She has to, as much as she doesn't want to fall out with him again she has to stick to her principles. She's a hero- they are heroes, and they stand for something. There is a reason that they do what they do.

"These aren't even real butterflies!" Chat turns and yells, his voice deep and loud. It echoes across the rooftops.

"That's not what I asked!"

"Who the fuck cares if I have to destroy some magical bugs once in a while? It doesn't matter, Lady! It doesn't! I'm tired of all of this! I just want things to be normal sometimes! I want to be allowed to feel as fucking miserable as I am without Moth coming along to guilt trip me for being _human_!" Chat is still yelling. Ladybug's heart sinks.

"Chat…"

"What?" He snaps.

"Let's cool off and meet tomorrow," Ladybug offers, "when is good for you to talk?"

"I don't want to talk!"

"Chat Noir! Time. Place."

"17:30. Pantheon," he snarls, leaping away. Ladybug watches his retreat. That was going to be a difficult meeting time for her but she would make it work.

 

* * *

 

Adrien's doorbell chimes again. He wipes his face the best he can and plugs up the bong he literally just started.

"Plagg. Go see who it is," he groans. He tries to get himself together, just in case.

"It's Ladybug," Plagg reports a few seconds later.

"Fuck," Adrien rubs his face and his hair again before going out to the penthouse door and cracking it open.

"Yeah?" he whispers, staring at the floor. Yeah, definitely Ladybug's feet.

"Your window was closed… are you…"

"Don't arrest me or anything," Adrien sighs, knowing she's smelled the dankness on him.

"I don't do that."

"I know. Why are you here?" Adrien gathers up enough courage to look her in the eye.

"I just wanted to talk to someone."

"And you thought of me first?" Adrien blinks. She wants to confide in him? Adrien knows he doesn't want to listen to her complain about him, but he is also flattered.

"I don't really have a lot of people I can talk to about this, and my other friends will feel like they have to do something," Ladybug's voice is soft and apologetic. She was referring to Carapace, probably. So the turtle could come tell him off yet again.

"I'm not gonna be any good," Adrien slurs.

"Think of it as payment for all that chauffering," Ladybug sounds so sweet about it.

"I can literally pay you. Do you want ten grand to not talk to me right now?" Adrien offers quickly. Ladybug is silent and Adrien knows that he's hurt her feelings. He does want to hurt her feelings but not as Adrien. "Alright. You can come in but only if you get high with me."

"I don't smoke."

"Of course you don't," Adrien sighs and lets his door fall completely open as he walks away from it.

 

"It's about Chat Noir," Ladybug follows Adrien into the penthouse timidly. She knows he doesn't really want her here.

"What about him?" Adrien sounds cold when he replies. Ladybug thinks it's weird that he hasn't offered her anything like he usually would.

"We had kind of a fight," she mumbles, sitting on the sectional. She waits, but Adrien says nothing. He occupies himself with his bong. This was really unlike him. Adrien was always so excited when she came to see him but today it feels like he is upset with her. _Did I do something?_

"I caught him killing an akuma."

"And then?" Adrien prompts.

"He kills akumas without me all the time."

"So?"

"That's wrong!"

"Is it?" Adrien's face is legitimately puzzled. This confuses her. He keeps going, though, "Sounds like Hawk Moth is targeting him, too. You sure you want to fight Chat Blanc again that much? Aren't akumas just little thoughtforms anyway?"

"Why are you defending him?" Ladybug whines. Adrien did have some good points.

"An akuma wouldn't be there unless his emotions were strong enough to alert Hawk Moth," the model points out before pressing his lips against glass. When he speaks again the clouds billow out, "I bet you I can summon one right now if I tried."

"What?" this is news to her. She never considered that someone could _summon_ an evilized butterfly to them.

"So what was catboy upset about?" Adrien asks, melting into his cushions. Ladybug stares at him.

 

"I don't really know," is what her answer finally is. Adrien nods, he knew that she hadn't considered Chat Noir's feelings at all. Ladybug had neglected to realize that her partner was an emotional wreck.

"Didn't you ask him, _Ladybug_?" Adrien presses out of spite.

"N-no. I didn't… he can repel them like I can."

"I can repel them too, but that doesn't mean that I'm _okay_."

"I should have asked… I just got angry…"

"Why did you get mad? Did you think he was taking your job? Or that he just didn't want you to know that he almost gets butterflied all the time? You'd probably bench him like that snake guy," Adrien knows that he shouldn't say it. He shouldn't bring up Vipey with Ladybug. But fighting with her brought back a lot of his memories about Viperion. None of it was good.

"I don't make decisions like that. Ni… Carapace does. He became too volatile. That wouldn’t happen to Chat. That's not Chat, even if he did get akumatized. I just think he's going through another rough patch. Maybe he's doing drugs again."

"If I were him, I would. Especially if _Ladybug_ got mad at me for having emotions."

"What am I supposed to do? I can't help him. I can't know who he is."

"Why not? You're just afraid to know. Don't you know who all the other heroes are? If you know that Chat Noir is hurting, why shouldn't you help him?" Adrien takes a deep hit after that. Ladybug is quiet for a while.

 

"There it is," Adrien points.

"What?" Ladybug asks in confusion before following his line to an akuma. Ladybug jumps up off of the couch and holds her arms out protectively in front of the model.

"Told you," the cool voice from behind her, "People can be very good at hiding their pain."

"Time to de-evilize," Ladybug tires to ignore what Adrien has said as she whips her yoyo out to capture the butterfly. Chat was upset enough to be akumatized on a regular basis but just prevents it by killing them before they take him or anyone else. There wouldn't always be enough time to call her. Was it even that morally wrong to kill the possessed bugs? She hadn't even asked Chat if he was alright. She had just gotten angry. Chat probably felt even worse now. He was always trying to please her, doing his best to win back her approval. Having an argument that reflected their worst one and getting so mad at him… the white butterfly flaps peacefully away through Adrien's ceiling. Ladybug turns her attention to this blonde. He was so much like her cat. She could imagine that Chat Noir went home to get high to calm down, too. So that an akuma wouldn't come.

"Do you want to talk about why you are upset?" Ladybug asks, "Or we you serious when you said you didn't want to see me right now?"

"Honestly? Both, buggaboo," his half-grin looks sad. Sadder than any smile should be.

"I'll listen to you. I was wrong not to listen to Chat."

 

"Won't you start beeping soon?" Adrien can't deny that his heart ached in a good way when she said that.

"I'll sit with my back to you when my transformation runs out, but I should be able to hold it for a while," Ladybug tells him. So practical. So _trusting_. Adrien can feel himself forgiving her. She was Ladybug, after all. He could never stay mad. He wasn't even very angry to begin with, just hurt.

"There's someone…" he starts. He can't come up with a way to complain about Ladybug to Ladybug. His brainpower for something like that is rapidly declining.

"Do you love them?" Ladybug whispers, sitting next to him. Adrien considers this for a while. Of course he's in love with her, but if he confirms her question she will think that Adrien likes someone else. He could say directly that he loved her, but that would be confusing too. Adrien runs his hands through his hair in frustration. He shouldn't have let Ladybug come in at all.

"I'm like the luckiest man alive. People would kill to live like I do, but I'm still…"

"You usually say you're unlucky," Ladybug points out. Her earrings start to beep. Adrien knows she still has plenty of time, they've trained up.

"I only believe in luck because I suffer from it," Adrien can't stop himself from reaching out to her hair ribbon. It slides between his fingers softly, the material familiar to him and kind of comforting. It’s the same as his costume. He notices Ladybug's blush.

"Everything is so complicated all of the time. It's exhausting," he confides in her because she is Ladybug and she is everything to him.

"I understand." And Adrien knows that she does.

"I wish Moth was gone, but I don't know how to live any other way. I don't think I'd get better, and I'd lose everything I already have."

"I understand that, too."

"You should go before your earrings run out."

 

* * *

 

Marinette rolls over, she is watching Adrien’s interview from that morning with Nadia Chamack. She had no idea that this had happened and it explained a lot- Black Beetle, Adrien’s abnormal depression, and Chat’s near-akumatization too. If Chat Noir _was_ in love with her, it would have hurt him to hear Adrien say things like this. He had never been good at accepting when she had other people. Especially with Luka. Marinette thought Chat Noir moved past it after that, but there was no other explanation other than he hadn’t. At least he wasn’t acting out about it- aside from Cataclysm-ing akumas.

“...reconciling with Gabriel Agreste? Perhaps a collaboration with him?” Nadia is saying. Marinette finds herself holding her breath. _Gabriel_. Adrien shuts down the question immediately, and Marinette can see how much it’s bothered him. There is no doubt in Marinette’s mind that this interview is why Adrien was so messed up today. Gabriel wasn’t a good person, and she didn’t blame Adrien for not wanting to be under his control. He was probably hurt by his manipulative father’s coldness as a child. Marinette could remember how demanding Adrien’s life had been when they were teenagers. She knew Gabriel, too. They had spent a lot of time together when she was interning and she had seen first-hand how calculating he was. Suddenly Adrien’s interview was over and the next video in the queue began to load.

“Tikki… what do you think about this?” Marinette whispers.

“Now that Adrien has made your relationship public with Ladybug, you won’t be able to date him freely as Marinette,” Tikki sighs. Marinette swallows. She hadn’t thought of that. At all. Her list of things to figure out for tomorrow grows even bigger. She could only hope that Hawk Moth let her sleep through the night. He already sent out at least two unsuccessful akumas that evening, he was probably regrouping. The next video in the queue starts to play. It's footage of Chat Noir and Ladybug having a  _very loud_ argument on some chimney stacks.


	13. Chapter 13

“Chat Noir!” Ladybug looks up at him as he holds an umbrella over her head.

“You didn’t have to sit in the rain, Bugster,” Chat shakes his head as Ladybug stands. She hugs him tightly. “Lady?”

“I’m so sorry, Chaton. I didn’t think. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Please forgive me,” she apologizes next to his ear.

“You’re all wet,” he laughs, and it sounds genuine, “Of course I forgive you, you are right as always. I hope you’re not mad at me anymore.”

“No, I’m not mad. I’m really proud of you, I know you’re doing your best,” she lets him out of the hug and he presses the umbrella into her hand since he’s got on a raincoat. Ladybug chews on her lip a little. Distracted somehow by the umbrella.

“There are a lot of things I keep from you, Ladybug. I’ve been killing akumas for 12 years. Nothing bad has ever happened,” he’s planned out a lot of things to say. Ladybug looks down at all the tourist umbrellas below them.

“Then that would mean that… there were times you didn't kill it. On purpose?” she mumbles. Chat nods his head, not surprised that she’s gotten to that conclusion so quickly. Chat Blanc was always really hard for both of them, of course she was still clear on whens and whys.

 

“I’m sorry. I had my own reasons, but I never plan on letting that happen again. That’s why I use Cataclysm on the butterflies.”

“You hated me,” Ladybug says quickly. Chat Noir frowns. It was only semi-directly because of her once. He was so stressed out from going back and forth from Paris to Oxford every week for such a long time, and he had already been so estranged from Ladybug that when she told him about her relationship with Viperion he hadn’t been very accepting despite having his own relationship. Very not accepting. Then when he tried to tell her about Gabriel again and she wrote it off so easily because she _knew him personally. Huh. I forgot about that._

“I could never hate you, I was just hurt,” he says. Chat _had_ wanted to fight her. He also thought maybe it could have been a way to get through to his father. Definitely not. Instead, it put everyone in danger and it wasn’t something he liked to reminisce about. It was just a mistake out of petty spite and he never stopped regretting it. He regret it more than the other Blanc times. So much more. It’s not like Gabriel and Viperion were the only things they had ever fought about. Like Fu’s funeral. His romantic interest in her. Now the butterflies.

“Chaton… how are you lately? What’s hurting you? Is it anything I can help with?” Ladybug asks in unspoken forgiveness. The rain dies down into a soft drizzle. It would probably be gloomy for the rest of the week.

“I’m just so tired of being alone.”

“Me too,” Ladybug nods her head with an understanding.

 

“Sometimes being Chat Noir is really... a curse. Nobody understands everything I have to do because of it and I can’t explain myself so that they do. My life isn’t hard or anything, but I… I don’t have anyone. I love people. I want friends, family. I'm just alone. Really truly alone,” Chat says to her. She swallows. Ladybug knows that a lot of it is her fault, excluding him from the only support group he could have had- the rest of the heroes. He didn’t have to be that alone. As long as Hawk Moth didn’t know his identity, he could have a normal civilian life but he wasn’t even taking that risk. Like Adrien was. Ladybug knows that Chat is overly conscious of the fact that he was dangerous. He thought ( _probably not wrongly_ ) that he was keeping people safe by not getting close to them- by not forming relationships. _Just look at what that strategy did to Adrien Agreste._

“I’m so sorry, kitty. That sounds really difficult. And you’ve… kind of fallen off the wagon again, too.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “I was finding some companionship in some not great places. A lot of temptation I couldn't resist.”

“Past tense?” Ladybug asks hopefully.

“Maybe,” he mumbles, glancing up at the sky as the rain starts again.

“Maybe I _should_ move in with you,” Ladybug smiles at him, “And everything.”

“You sure you don’t just want to move in with your new boyfriend instead?” Chat laughs, “But if you’re serious, I’d like that. We can talk about it again sometime if that’s what you want. My offer will always stand, Ladybug.”

“Thank you, Chaton. I um… this is the number to my Ladybug burner phone. Just… if you need to talk. You’re my partner. I should start being there for you. I don't want you to be truly alone,” Ladybug passes him the slip of paper from her yoyo compact. His face lights up in delight. It's as if the sun's golden rays had broken through the dark storm.

 

-

 

"How is the Sahara?" Marinette looks out the window in the cafe. It has been raining for days now and she was over it. _I'd kill to have gone to the desert with him._

"It's exactly how you would think it is, but we are filming only fifteen minutes outside of the city. It's surreal. You go from being in civilization to _nothing_ in like a split second," Adrien's laughter comes through the phone and the sound of it warms her heart. "How is Paris?"

"Wet. Dark. My cat is missing," she has to be a little careful when in public like this. A waiter brings her another coffee cup.

"Do you think something happened to him?" Adrien sounds mischievous as he asks.

"This happens sometimes. He will come back home," Marinette sighs. She was trying not to dwell on the fact that the last time she had seen Chat Noir was when they tried to reconcile after arguing. She thought they were okay, but maybe they weren't. Chat hasn't contacted her yet, either. Sometimes he was just like a real cat, and it was fine. There was also a part of her that always worried about his well-being as a civilian when he disappeared. What if he was in an accident or in jail or if he had hurt himself or gotten captured?

"Is it okay with the akumas?"

"I'm managing. They have been consistently your fans," she sips her coffee. The akumas were coming at her with a new type of malice because of her love life, and she missed Chat Noir's help. It was actually really tough fighting alone but there was no point in letting Adrien worry about her. There was nothing he could do about it.

"I miss you, I can't wait to come back," he says softly. She knows how much he means it.

"Bring some of that sun back with you, please. I am tired of being soaked all the time," she giggles.

"I will do my best for you, my Lady," Marinette can clearly see Adrien's smug grin in her head. He was reminding her of Chat Noir again. _They really need to meet. They are like two peas in a pod._

"See you tomorrow."

 

-

 

“What are you watching?” Ladybug asks judgmentally, rounding the corner around Adrien’s couch to find that the man in question was asleep there, “Adrien?”

He doesn’t so much as twitch in response. Ladybug looks over again at the cartoon on his fancy quality television and then back down at Adrien. He was only wearing boxers and his skin seemed to glisten somehow in the light from the television. She wasn’t sure how long she spent just looking at him. Ladybug let her eyes travel all of his frame, packed tight with athletic muscle. His chest rises and falls in a slow and steady rhythm. He looked peaceful. Relaxed in a way he never was when awake. Ladybug sits, curling comfortably where she can watch him- content with just that. She wanted to allow him to sleep at all costs. _I’ll beat up anything that wakes him up._ She gets drawn into the cartoon a little, too. It wasn’t as bad as she had assumed when she first saw what was on. Adrien was really a dork with niche interests, but it did really seem like he probably had conventionally good taste. Or at least a sense of what was artistically good or culturally important that she lacked when it came to entertainment. That and he seemed to really like comedy- because that was the only explanation for the increasing absurdity of the characters. Nothing was making any sense but it was oddly captivating. The episode ended and a song began to play. Adrien stirred a little, making half an effort to sleepily vocalize with the music. It came out as a series of shortened hums at the major notes. _Cute._ Ladybug can’t help but to giggle and this shocks Adrien the rest of the way awake.

 

He sits up quickly, drawing his limbs protectively in on himself. He relaxes again quickly once his shock wears off and he registers who is with him.

“Ladybug…” he blinks at her, his eyelids slow and sleepy. _She’s not coming until later, right?_

“Good morning, Adrien. What _are_ you watching?” she smirks at him. Adrien looks over at the television, still slightly disoriented.

“Pop… Pop Team Epic? How long have you been here?” he shakes his head, realizing how nearly naked he is.

“Just one episode, so like half an hour, maybe?” Ladybug shrugs at him in a guess.

“Fifteen minutes,” he swallows. Ladybug had watched him sleep for fifteen minutes. _Holy shit._ She shrugs her red shoulders at him with a lazy indifference. “What time is it?” Adrien looks over at the window. Dark. He had been asleep for a long time.

“I’d say you were jet lagged but there was barely a time difference,” Ladybug teases. Adrien rubs his palms through his hair. It was because he did a lot of airport drinking. And airplane drinking. He couldn’t admit to something like that to _Ladybug_ though.

“I’m… going to take a quick shower. You okay waiting? You can watch whatever you’d like,” Adrien stands and gestures at the remotes. Ladybug doesn’t look away from him as she nods her head. He feels like he can sense her eyes still on him as he escapes.

 

-

 

“ _Laaadybug_ thinks you’re hot,” Plagg teases. Adrien is in the middle of rubbing toner/moisturizer on his face so he sees himself blush.

“I know that, and she _is_ my girlfriend, Plagg,” he hisses quietly.

“You should have approached her as Adrien earlier,” Plagg says and Adrien can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. He just hears what goes unspoken. Before Ladybug hated Chat Noir. _Could have. Should have. If I..._

“Late night thoughts, Plagg,” he warns, “No what-ifs.”

“Hey, this is Ladybug, you can’t deny all of the past stuff. Are you really going to let her sleep with you without telling her that you’re Chat Noir?”

“Maybe I will never tell her, Plagg,” Adrien rolls his eyes. He really didn’t want to think about this.

“Adrien.”

“I’ve fucked lots of women without saying anything and you don’t lecture me about that, do you?”

“She _is_ your girlfriend,” Plagg repeats back. Adrien swats him away.

“It’s her decision, too.”

 

“The news,” Adrien hums in observation like he fully expected it. Ladybug looks up at him in his black _Luka Couffaine_ tshirt and baggy jeans. She’s too arrested by seeing Luka’s face. Seeing _Luka’s_ face on _Adrien Agreste_. Adrien looks down at himself in confusion.

“Is this not good? Not a fan?” he lifts the shirt unceremoniously over his head.

“A-a-are…” Ladybug is having a hard time recovering. Now confronted with Adrien Agreste’s _abs_ , which are definitely not worse but it really doesn’t help. A smirk tugs at the corner of the model’s mouth.

“Is everything okay?” he teases, an honest concern underlying it. Ladybug forces her eyes back over to the television. _Get it together, Marinette!_ Adrien sits beside her on the couch, rolling his shirt up in his hands before throwing it at the cat tower in the corner.

 

“I used to watch the news all the time but it was giving me anxiety or something,” Adrien offers up as a subject change.

“R-really? We can turn it off. It’s just habit, being Ladybug and all,” she explains nervously.

“Doesn’t it stress you out?” Adrien asks. Ladybug sneaks a glance back over at the model. His eyes are set on the news with a sharp attentiveness. It was the way Chat looked at akumas. _Stop thinking about Chat._

“People know that they are responsible for themselves outside of akuma attacks. I can’t be on call all of the time, I have to live. Chat Noir tried that vigilante stuff and look at what happened to him. He almost died, too.” _Still thinking about Chat._

“There was a rumor that you were mad at him.”

“Of course I was. I really told him off,” Ladybug chuckles. Adrien nods his head solemnly. “I actually… I know everyone thinks I only tolerate Chat Noir, but I care about him a lot. He’s an idiot and makes mistakes but I can rely on him. He’s resourceful and stubborn and I really need him.”

“Ladybug…” Adrien starts and Ladybug worries that he’s jumped to the conclusion that everybody jumps to, that she’s secretly in love with Chat Noir.

“I guess I get sappy about it when he disappears like this. We had that fight and I’m worried that’s why he’s not showing up lately,” Ladybug confesses, “I’m not trying to say that I’m secretly in love with him or anything but it’s like he’s my family. Chat’s always been a constant in my life and I really do care about him a lot. I hope that he’s okay.”

 

Adrien feels like he is going to burst. _Ladybug doesn’t hate me._ His lips are on hers before he can think rationally about what he’s doing and which situation he is really in and the fact that he isn’t wearing a shirt, either. Ladybug melts into him and their tongues dance. Lips against lips, soft bites. Sucks. Neither of them willing to relinquish dominance. Adrien falls into a familiar pattern. Skin again skin. Tongue against tongue. It’s all second nature to him and he is comfortable in it. Adrien hoists himself over Ladybug’s lap so he is straddling her hips, he knows he can’t hurt her. He cups her face in his hands, drawing her into him and kissing her deeply. After a few more moments, he pulls back slowly- softly- and she leans after him but not far enough to reconnect them. Adrien looks down at her. She felt so small but so big at the same time, her eyes gazing back at his confidently. She runs her gloved hand up his torso and Adrien draws in a shaky, sharp breath in response. _This is_ Ladybug _touching me._

 

“What now?” Ladybug breathes hopefully. Adrien leans in to kiss her again, he doesn’t want to think about how to answer her. It was, in his opinion, better to just let whatever was going to happen happen and not have to discuss anything at all. He draws his lips against her skin at her jawline up to her ear and takes the lobe lightly between his teeth. Ladybug lets out a weak whimper in response. He continues teasing along her ear until she pushes him away.

“A- akuma,” she whispers with regret, motioning with a tilt of her head at the TV. Adrien swallows the lump in his throat and climbs off of her. Just his luck.

“I’m _so sorry_ ,” Ladybug looks just as upset as he feels.

“Don’t worry. I’ll still be here when it’s over,” Adrien manages to assure her. Ladybug shakily goes over to his window. She takes a deep breath and Adrien watches her body language completely change before she’s gone. She stands tall and strong. That’s Ladybug.

 

Adrien’s always been careful, at least since university, to not let Chat Noir and Adrien Agreste’s schedules line up in order to avoid suspicion. Chat will have to sit this one out. At least for today. He settles against the couch cushion, eyes glued to the broadcast. Ladybug shows up on scene and his body tenses at the sight of the little red speck clashing with the little purple speck. It goes on for several minutes. _She’s struggling_ . A wave of new guilt hits him, but he is used to it. He just had to believe in her. It would be fine, just like it always was. Despite his self assurances, Adrien stays anxious until a little green dot joins the red one, resulting in the telling sparkle of a force-field. _Carapace. Good._ Adrien stands and goes to pour himself a drink. He bypasses the usual beer or vodka for a splash of scotch in a small glass. The fight is still happening when he returns to the couch. Adrien still really can’t tell what’s going on, the video feed is not at the best vantage point. His scotch is gone so he gets up to fetch the whole bottle this time. It takes an hour and a half before the magical ladybug swarm through the city as an indication of success. It was another twenty minutes before Ladybug came back.

 

“Wow you do have anxiety,” Ladybug comments, giving Adrien a once-over.

“I know I shouldn't worry because you’re Ladybug, but I couldn’t help but-”

“I’m fine. I’m here, Adrien. Everything’s okay,” Ladybug smiles at him sympathetically. He was worried about her because he cared about her. Would he always be this way? “Maybe it’s better if you don’t watch akuma fights anymore.”

“Chat Noir still wasn’t there,” he points out to her.

“It happens. He must be busy in his real life.”

“I’m sure he is,” Adrien chuckles lightly, “So where were we?”

“We were making out,” Ladybug puts a hand on her hip and watches Adrien’s hue turn towards red with satisfaction, “Do you want me to detransform or do you like the suit?”

“And your identity?” he doesn’t stammer. Ladybug knows that she would have if he had made the same offer to her.

“Regular bug is wearing sunglasses. I’ll just have to trust you,” she smiles. Ladybug doesn’t miss the expression on Adrien’s face, though. He looked _upset_.

“What’s wrong?” Ladybug shifts her weight, confidence quickly draining.

“I… I don’t think you _should_ trust me,” he mumbles.

“Oh…” _What do I do now?_

 

“You don’t even know me, you can’t just…” Adrien begins before he realizes what he’s saying is wrong and probably freaking Ladybug out, “I mean, um… I think you can trust me but um… I mean… I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry. I’m not…”

“It’s okay,” Ladybug shakes her head, “I understand.”

“No. No, I didn’t mean that. Sorry. I’m sorry. I was drinking. Sorry,” Adrien musses up his hair violently and folds his hands at the back of his neck with frustration. Ladybug walks straight up to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders, holding Adrien to her chest. He relaxes into her, glad for the contact.

“I definitely trust you.”

_She shouldn't, because she said she would never, never trust Chat Noir. Plagg is right._


	14. Chapter 14

Ladybug wasn’t Ladybug when Adrien woke up, he could tell by the feel of cloth against his fingers. He doesn’t open his eyes. He doesn’t dare to move. Soon she leaves him with some quiet whispers, going out the door instead of the window. His heart follows her. The rest of his morning is terrible without Ladybug. He breaks the tap in his shower, he cuts himself shaving, and the bakery by his house was completely out of croissants (which seems like an impossible task for a Parisian bakery.) He gets a crappy lunch in a restaurant with terrible service and then a deranged fan attacks him on the sidewalk with their bag. Adrien does his best but it definitely results in an akumatization. He doesn't have time to transform or to call Ladybug as he is the sole target. The akuma racks up a pretty significant army of mindless drones by the time Ladybug does arrive and Adrien has managed somehow to remain unscathed so far.

"Adrien!" she lands in front of him, shielding him from an attack. She looks so cool. So heroic. Adrien feels his heart fill back up with her.

"Thanks Lady! Butter's in their shoe. I'm going to hide, don't worry about me," he assures quickly. Ladybug looks like she wants to argue, but she is too busy with the group of drones to help take him to safety.

 

"You're back!" Ladybug sounds excited about it as Chat Noir creates some space between them and the people bring controlled by the akuma with his staff.

"Had some personal stuff, Bugster," he grins back at his partner.

"Okay. The akuma is in the shoe but I don't know which one or how to get close enough. You're going to have to Cataclysm both, are you good to go twice together if needed?" back to business.

"Yup. Do a Lucky Charm, that might help," Chat Noir encourages. Carapace arrives, rolling up beside them and adding his forcefield to their distance with the rapidly growing amount of putties. 

"Lucky Charm!" it's a barrel of unspecified red and black spotted fruit. Chat starts to laugh and Carapace shoots him a warning glare. Ladybug rigs up a type of seesaw with the barrel and they cat-apult Chat Noir at the main akuma. He hears Carapace's guttural shout of 'No! Mary!' but he is too busy to look back. He knows which shoe the akuma is in so he doesn't have to use Cataclysm in succession like Ladybug’s suggestion. But when he sees that Ladybug is completely motionless on the ground, he does go ahead and use Cataclysm again anyway on the butterfly. He doesn't have to hide his ruthlessness anymore now that they know. Neither of them see him do it anyway.

 

Chat Noir hears Carapace's soft coaxes of 'Mary' before it is changed back to 'Ladybug' at his approach. Chat is too worried to think clearly about it.

"What happened? Is she okay?" Chat kneels down next to Carapace.

"Ladybug got hit in the head," Carapace doesn't even spare him a look. Chat's chest tightens. He rests a hand on her ankle, his ring starting to beep. He is filled with dread.

"She's been fighti-" Carapace is cut off by a small movement by Ladybug.

"Bug!" Chat calls with relief, pulling her into a hug. Ladybug groans. They help her use Miraculous Ladybug and it cures her injury just like it always does.

 

* * *

 

“Noir,” Carapace catches him.

“ _ Vert _ ,” Chat Noir narrows his eyes in response, “Here to bench me?”

“Maybe,” Carapace shrugs his shoulders honestly, “Where have you been?”

“Abroad for work. Akumas have gotten easy. I didn’t think she couldn’t handle it without me,” Chat relaxes a little bit. His ring is still beeping.

“And how much have you drank today so far?” is the accusation. Chat Noir shouldn’t have relaxed at all, he’s realizing. He catches himself and looks down at the rooftop they’re standing on.

“Was it Ladybug that said something?” Chat hesitates. She  _ was _ really mad about the akuma thing.

“No. I’ve been watching you. It’s three in the afternoon, Noir. Don’t you have a job?” Carapace asks. Adrien can hear the layers of concern beneath it.

“I’m kind of an odd-job guy.”

“Why are you drinking? I thought you were going to work on this and get sober.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I can’t let you put yourself and Ladybug in danger.”

“I’m not!” Chat Noir shouts quickly.

“Bro. Are  _ you sure _ that being messed up is the safest way to fight bad guys? Are you  _ crazy _ ? Every single time that you are not one hundred percent, you are taking a huge risk. It’s irresponsible, man. What would you do if something  _ really  _ happened to her because of it?” Carapace lectures. Chat Noir knows that he’s right. It's not anything that he hasn't heard from Carapace before.

“I’m sorry,” he says again because there is nothing else that he can say.

 

“I know that you are,” Carapace sighs, “I know you need help. Do you have anybody who can help you?”

“I’m alone,” Chat Noir confirms quietly. Carapace nods like he expected it.

“I’m not going to ‘bench’ you, but we are gonna work on this together, okay? My name is Nino,” Carapace holds out his hand to shake. Chat Noir stares at him in mute shock. Nino?  _ Nino Lahiffe? _

“N-no,” Chat takes a step backwards. Nino’s hand falls.

“What do you mean, no?” he frowns in clear confusion.

“I- I don’t…” Chat Noir looks around like the wants to escape, unsure of what to say.

“I know nobody knows who you are, but I think half of your problem  _ is  _ being Chat Noir and the pressure that comes with this. Let me help you.”

“I can’t,” Chat shakes his head.

“Then return your Miraculous to me now. I find out who you are either way, Noir,” Carapace threatens, “I'll help you. I swear. I trust you, dude. I want to help but I have a responsibility, too. Don’t be like Luka.”

“Who?” Chat blinks and Carapace is obviously flustered that he has said the wrong thing. He sighs. It’s too late to go back now.

“Viperion. And you are being just as ridiculous.”

“I’ll… I’ll bench myself. I will know where to find you if I need to,” Chat Noir  _ runs _ .

 

* * *

 

“I told him my name and he just like, super freaked out.”

“I thought he  _ wanted _ to know who we all were,” Alya complains.

“You didn’t have to do that in the first place, Nino,” Marinette comments.

“He’s an alcoholic, Mari. Someday you’re going to get hurt!”

“I trust him,” Marinette shakes her head.

“Since when do you trust him?” Nino snaps back, “And what about the drugs? I am just doing my job. I don’t wanna fire him either but we’ve given him two chances already!”

Marinette sighs. She kind of  _ liked _ Chat that way, but she knew that Nino was right. They should be very worried about her cat. Especially since they knew about his akuma problem now, too. Chat Noir needed  _ help _ , but she didn’t want to have to  _ punish _ him, either.

“Cataclysm is dangerous enough as it is and we can’t ignore that. He was messed up when he hit Alix and we can’t risk something like that again if he’s not going to make changes.”

“He said he’d lay low for a while, so maybe he will be okay making changes on his own,” Alya suggests.

“That just means we have to pick up his slack in the meantime,” Nino points out. There were so many akumas lately that he knew they were exhausted, Ladybug in particular. It was like Hawk Moth found a motivation that he hasn't had in years.

 

* * *

 

"Adrien?" Ladybug calls out to him as she slides in from the window. There's no answer, but he is there. Sitting on the floor with a bottle of chocolate strawberry flavored vodka and  _ crying _ . Her heart convulses with empathy. Adrien rubs his hands at his face with obvious shame and his hair glints in the limited light. It was possible for misery to still be gorgeous. She had never seen him cry, not even as a teenager. Ladybug sits slowly beside him, listening to him sniffle.

"The akuma today isn't your fault," Ladybug says reassuringly, "These things happen when you're a celebrity."

"I think… Moth knowing about us is bad. I thought it would be okay to be with you because you won't be in danger… but you are in danger. More than anybody else," Adrien wipes more at his cheeks, the tears still flowing, "I was stupid and selfish and wrong."

"I'm going to be fine, I am a hero. You don't have to worry about my safety, it isn't your responsibility," Ladybug leans back against the counter. Adrien takes a chug of the vodka and Ladybug can smell it. She lets there be silence for a while.

"One of my contracts was terminated today because I'm a fuck up," Adrien finally says. Ladybug looks at him. Who wouldn't keep Adrien Agreste on a project if they could? Brands would usually fall over themselves to accommodate for him. He must have really messed up.

"What happened?" she asks quietly. He shakes the vodka bottle as an answer.  _ Oh. Just like Chat. Just like Chat Noir, who needs help. _ Adrien needs help too, and Ladybug has been overlooking it all this time. For both of them. Adrien takes another swig. Ladybug resolves to help the blonde she has access to.

 

"Why do you drink?" Ladybug says. Adrien would laugh if he wasn't busy crying. He has been making so many  _ mistakes _ and doing it on purpose. He  _ knew better _ .

"Everything," Adrien says and it's not a lie. He can tell that Ladybug doesn't know how to talk about this with him. They were just awkwardly going to roll through all of his pain as he lays it bare for her and she won't know what to do with it. If Ladybug had any faults, it was this.

"I want to help you," she whispers. She takes a sip of the vodka and makes a face, shivering. Adrien swallows. He wanted Ladybug to know him. He wanted her to understand. She would never truly understand without knowing about Chat Noir, but maybe they can get close. He wants her to comfort him. She is all he's ever wanted.

“If I share, you have to, too. Not anything revealing, but… honesty. I’ve never said anything to anyone about anything,” he mumbles. A huge part of him wants  _ desperately  _ to tell her about Chat Noir and Hawk Moth. He has a deep longing just to be done with it all regardless of what happens to Paris. He’s just so  _ tired. _ Adrien wipes more tears from his face. They were just going to keep coming and there was nothing he could do about it, he was just going to keep drunkenly crying in front of his hero-slash-love-of-his-life.

“I have plenty of secrets to trade,” she nods her head. Adrien takes another gulp of chocolate strawberry.

 

“I think maybe this is like… my last chance. Like you are my only hope and if I screw this up, there is no way I'm ever going to have any happiness," he rubs at his damp face. He doesn't want to put any pressure on Ladybug, but at the same time this was his honesty, "I am really scared."

"I am scared too. This is a complicated mess but I… really think it is worth it. You're worth it," Ladybug says and Adrien buries his face in his knee for a moment, completely moved. Ladybug rests her hand on his shaking shoulder. He takes another shot of vodka once he's recovered a little.

"I've… my home life as a kid was terrible and once you showed up… I directed everything I had at you. Ladybug is this huge thing for me. I've never loved anyone else and if this doesn't work out I…"

"A celebrity crush is different from knowing somebody. Believe me on that."

"From what I know so far, I love you," Adrien says honestly. Unhesitant. With an explicit certainty that shocks both of them. Their eyes meet, things passing unsaid.

"I… I love you,too," Ladybug resolves. Adrien presses his arm against hers.

"How can you? I'm a shit show. Walking disaster. Asshole. I know I'm hot, but…"

"Don't say that about yourself. You are kind of a mess but it's… a little cute," Ladybug admits, "It makes me want to protect you. To take care of you."

"I don't really need to be protected, Lady."

"You live all alone like this because you are protecting yourself, but I don't think that's right. I want you to be happy. To be yourself," Ladybug says, "I want you to feel safe."

"I just want you."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there is SO MUCH DIALOGUE in this chapter I AM SO SORRY

Adrien's hangover is terrible but it's not the worst one that he had ever had. After his second mug of coffee, he is at his computer.  _ Nino Lahiffe. _ Adrien hadn't thought about him in a long time. He pulls up Nino's profile, relieved slightly that they are still social media friends. If Carapace is Nino and Nino is married to Alya, that would make her Rena Rouge. Ladybug is living temporarily with Rena Rouge. Adrien scrolls nervously and then freezes on the information he was looking for.

 

Living with Nino and Alya right now is  _ Marinette Dupain-Cheng. _ The one and only.

 

Carapace wasn't calling a 'Mary' the night before, he was calling 'Mari' as in Marinette. MDC was Ladybug. Adrien reaches up to his glasses. It made sense. He should have known. He clicks on Marinette. They aren't friends on the website, so he can't access a lot. But she was a public figure like he was, a popular fashion designer. He just Googles her. Adrien has to use her full name to sort out from the results about her brand that he already delved into the other day. Then there it was. Luka Couffaine was Luka as in Carapace's slip last night. So Viperion was a fucking rockstar? The coolest guy since Jagged Stone. No wonder Ladybug’s reaction to his shirt the other night had been so weird.  _ I have to see her. I want to talk to her about all of this. About everything from when we were little until now. I missed so much.  _ We _ missed so much. _

 

* * *

 

“Can I help you, Monsieur Agreste?” Martin is obviously the one who has been summoned.

“Oh… um… can I see MDC for a minute? I need to speak to her about something. It’s a… question about the collab thing,” Adrien tries. Martin eyes him suspiciously. 

“The glasses collaboration is mine. Marinette doesn’t have time to focus too much energy on an extra project like this one so I’m in charge of everything now. I suspect if I do well she will push me out into the world whether or not I’m ready to leave her,” Martin gets off track and says affectionately. The detached curiosity that Adrien had felt about their relationship previously was gone. He was just jealous now. Martin was a real part of Marinette’s life and he obviously loved her.

“You don’t want your own label?” Adrien asks even though he doesn’t really want to hear more. MDC was grooming Martin for that, it was obvious now. She was his mentor, completely.

“Of course I do. I just don’t feel comfortable passing her off to someone else yet. Marinette is incredible. To own her own label at only 30 and be this successful... She is really amazing to have come this far even despite how much help she had from Gabriel. I’m only four years younger and it will take me fifteen to catch up to where she is now. I still have a lot to learn.”

“Gabriel helped her?” Adrien blinks. He had totally forgotten that Marinette Dupain-Cheng had been his father’s protege. It was never important information to him before.

“He financed her entire start-up, much like I suspect she is planning to do for me when the time comes.”

“Oh… Adrien swallows. That was something he definitely hadn’t known. How far in with his father was he going to be getting by dating Marinette? “Are they still close?”

“Please don’t tell me that you’re still believing rumors about Marinette,” Martin’s face is serious. Something vaguely familiar rings in the back of Adrien’s mind. Something he had heard people say on repeat for years.  _ They were lovers. _

 

_ Marinette slept with my father. _

 

He corrects himself, mind reeling,  _ Ladybug slept with Hawk Moth. This is gross. This is really, really gross. Did she even know? Maybe he tricked her? Was she tricking him? Is she tricking  _ me _? This must be why Ladybug got so mad at me for trying to kill him on my own. Why she defended him. _

“Are you alright?” Martin asks, tilting his head, “Were you really here about the glasses or did you just come to see Marinette? Or…  _ somebody else _ ?”

“Like you?” Adrien cracks out of habit, winking. Inside, he is slipping down a spiral water slide to oblivion.

“I suspect that we might both know who I mean. She’s out right now but I can call her to come back for you if you don’t mind waiting,” Martin offers. Adrien stares.  _ Martin even knows who she is. _ Adrien feels sick. This was too much. There was no way he could stomach speaking to her right now.

“Don’t tell her that I’ve figured it out. I’ll just talk to her later. Have a nice day, Martin.”

“You too,” Martin smiles at him and Adrien wonders if it is secretly malicious. He escapes the building quickly. Adrien knows that rumors are rumors but this one is too close to home. He had to find out the truth and there would only be a handful of people besides Marinette and his father that would know the truth. He wanted to believe in Ladybug. He really did. It was even possible that his father had discovered Ladybug’s identity and manipulated Marinette with sex and power and money. She was only human, too. But he had also heard a lot about and seen firsthand what MDC was capable of. She could buy him for a million Euro if she wanted to, and maybe in a way, she had. She had identified his weakness as Ladybug and used her to get him.

 

* * *

 

An hour or two and a bottle of pinot grigio later, Adrien was thinking semi-clearly again. He believed in Ladybug. Of course Ladybug was not on Hawk Moth's side and of course she hadn't manipulated him into dating her.  _ Am I manipulating her into dating  _ me  _ by not telling her that I'm Chat? _ Adrien sips at his glass, scanning the skyline outside his windows.  _ Maybe I should just stay on the bench for the rest of my life... But I wouldn't be able to stop myself from helping if Ladybug needed me. _ There was still the issue about MDC and Gabriel Agreste. That was still a very real possibility. Even only taking their civilian identities into account made Adrien feel nauseated. Had Gabriel been manipulating her, and what were his motivations in doing so? Did he buy her off by making her the hottest emerging designer in a decade? Or did he know who she was and was using that against Chat Noir? Because if that's what the strategy was, it had certainly-  _ absolutely _ \- worked. Adrien pulls out his phone and realizes that his hands are shaking.

 

“Polka-dot Taxi, at your service,” Marinette answers the phone cheerfully. Not even the second ring. Adrien almost smiles, it is a pretty funny joke.

“What’s your schedule like?” he asks. Martin had told him that Marinette was busy, and Ladybug herself had confessed that she was a workaholic to Adrien recently, too. Marinette makes a drawn-out hum to signify that she is thinking. It would be cute if he could get the mental image of her and his father out of his head.

“It depends! Are you trying to make plans with me?” she teases. That would be cute, too.

“I want to talk to you. I’ll be home for the rest of today and through tomorrow. If you can fly by sometime-”

“I’m on my way. I’ll bring you dinner,” Marinette cuts him off. 

“That’s really not necessary!” Adrien argues.

“But I’m already standing in line at the vegan place, all I have to do is ask for two instead of one,” she sounds really, exceptionally pleased about it and that makes Adrien’s stomach churn.  _ There is no way someone this kind… with my father… _

“Are you vegan?” he asks conversationally, having realized that he can’t recall seeing Ladybug eat meat.

“Not really, just trying to be healthy. And the animals… anyway, anything special you want me to order?”

“I’ll eat anything,” Adrien declines. It was the honest truth, even if he feels like never eating again.

“Great. See you in a few,” Marinette hangs up on him.

 

Adrien wrings his hands for the 27 minutes it takes Ladybug to show up at his window, the nerves eating at him for every single minute.

“Hello Adrien. I hope you like eggplant,” she grins.

“I figured out who you are,” Adrien blurts, unable to wait a second more. Everything about her changes immediately, smile gone. She seems nervous and small. Like Marinette.

“Oh,” Ladybug sets the bag of food down on the table, “How? Who do you think that I am?”

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” he says quietly, watching the shock on her face. He felt like his whole being was vibrating with anxiety.

“That’s… that’s who I am,” she confirms with a resolute nod, “Surprised?”

“No, but there is something I have to ask. Just to be sure,” Adrien looks away. All he wanted to do was get an answer, but he didn’t want to embarrass her. He didn’t want to hear her answer, either. He didn’t want to ask because he didn’t want her to think that he thought that of her.

“Is it about the glasses, I just-”

“You and my father,” Adrien interrupts, and he can’t help but to steal a glance at her no matter how much he is afraid of what he’ll see there.

 

“ _ What _ ?” Ladybug breathes. She had forgotten about what people say about her. She hadn’t thought that anyone that ever knew her would have to ask about it, but here was Adrien asking. Adrien Agreste, Gabriel’s  _ son _ , her middle school crush, current boyfriend, asking her about the nature of her relationship with his dad. Why hadn’t she ever thought that this would happen? It was obvious that the thought of his girlfriend having been with his father who he hates would bother him. He wouldn’t know if those rumors were true or not. She had heard firsthand what people said about MDC to him. Adrien was shaking with  _ fear _ , like he was scared to death about what it would mean if all of that had been true. How long had he been agonizing over this?  _ Everything about Adrien’s father hurts him, of course he would assume the worst every time. _

“I was never Gabriel’s lover or mistress or anything like that. I know he’s kind of a shitty guy but he did honestly believe in my talent. I learned my whole career from him and he supported me every step of the way, but it was never anything other than that,” Ladybug says resolutely, hoping the more confident about it she is, the more it would relieve Adrien’s worries. He lets out the air he was holding in his lungs.

“Okay… good. I just… as Adrien, I have to make sure. He’s still like… my father,” Adrien doesn’t seem completely relieved and Ladybug feels sorry towards him.

“I understand. I’m not really offended. I know you’ve heard stuff and you have to make sure.”

 

“There’s something else, too,” he rubs his hands through his hair violently like he’s trying to erase his inner thoughts, “But after this I only have two more secrets and then you won’t stay with me anymore.”

“I will stay with you, Adrien. I’m not getting close to you with an ulterior motive like that. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us. I really like you,” she knows she needs to give as much assurance as she can. Adrien was definitely the type to freak out about this.

“My father is Hawkmoth,” is, unexpectedly, what he says. Ladybug feels a rush of guilt and dread wash over her. 

“No. No way,” she whispers mostly out of reflex. Adrien closes his eyes, a pained expression painting his beautiful face.

“You don’t believe Adrien either,” he says quietly.

“No! I didn’t mean… I mean, are you sure?” Ladybug tries to correct it.

“Completely,” he turns away, going to his makeshift bar. Ladybug’s mind reels. Chat was right. All this time she was the one in the wrong.

“How could your own father be putting you in danger like this? He’s specifically trying to harm you!”

“The answer to that is in my other secrets, Lady,” he mumbles back. Ladybug sits down, looking at her bag of takeout food. Adrien had not only been worried about if she had been with his father, he had also been worried that Ladybug was compromised by Hawk Moth. It was a lot. Ladybug wasn't sure what to say to comfort Adrien, so she doesn't stop him from opening a bottle of wine. She is distressed and filled with guilt about ignoring Chat's theory about Gabriel Agreste. About punishing him for it. She takes the glass of wine when Adrien hands her one.

 

* * *

 

 

"Why couldn't you tell me about him before?" Ladybug breaks the silence as Adrien refills their glasses. Neither of them have said anything in a long time. They haven't opened the food yet, either.

"Because you will try to do something about it and there isn't anything anyone can do," Adrien mumbles, "or so I thought."

"What do you mean?"

"Twelve million people live in Paris and he won't hesitate to kill all of them. He put it all together sometime after I moved out, but he is holding this city hostage and nobody even knows it."

"Like a bomb?"

"I think so. If you make a move against him, you risk setting it off, so it's better if you don't know in the first place. But if you know him personally… as a civilian…"

"Or as a lover. You thought I could probably seduce him and go for the kill that way?" Ladybug almost laughs.

"It was one of a thousand thoughts that crossed my mind, maybe," Adrien admits.

"And you haven't done anything because he's your father," Ladybug mumbles into her glass, mostly for herself.

"I have done plenty, but he knows that I know who he is. I have never succeeded in killing him, he's too prepared. I haven’t seen him in person since my non-wedding. And his reputation for being a recluse… I don't need to explain the rest of this to  _ MDC _ , do I?" Adrien laughs, "You probably know my father better than I ever did."

"You are his biggest weakness, both as Gabriel and as Hawk Moth."

"I know. That's why I'm dangerous. That's why there are so many akumas right now. He knows that I am going to tell you. He's angry and afraid. And when you make a move on him… he’ll be expecting you. You’d be running into your death and you might be running into the complete annihilation of the city. I might be causing the end of the world, telling you.”

“T-then what do I do?” Ladybug blinks. Adrien shrugs his shoulders. A part of him wants to repeat back to Ladybug some of the things that she had said to Chat Noir when she stopped him an inch and a half from killing Gabriel Agreste. Adrien keeps his mouth shut. Minutes pass. Adrien spends most of it trying to quell his desires to either be petty or to tell her everything.

“Do you think he knows who I am?” Ladybug breathes. Adrien looks over at her. She looks frightened and helpless and so unlike Ladybug. He doesn’t know why she doesn’t just transform back into Marinette now. Maybe it would change the dynamic of their relationship too much if she did.

“I have no idea. I think he…” Adrien decides not to tell her that Hawk Moth knows who Chat Noir is. That’s for Chat Noir to share, “I don’t know. If you had been in a relationship with him I would have thought that he did. My father is… shrewd.”

“That’s a word,” Ladybug does laugh at it.

“I feel like defeating you like that would tick a lot of boxes for him. I don’t think he would have purposefully helped Ladybug as much as he helped Marinette, though. Unless he had some sort of backwards ulterior motive that we don’t know about yet.”

“I don’t see how enabling me to make millions of euros helps him get my Miraculous,” Ladybug agrees. Adrien ventures a nervous smile about it. It was still a little weird, but at least it wasn’t as bad as he thought. He felt like the gates were open now to talk about any of the other millions of things he wanted to say to Marinette Dupain-Cheng. He didn’t want to think about his father more.

“There was so much more I wanted to say before I realized you knew my father,” Adrien mumbles, “I’m really sorry that I forgot so much about Marinette.”

“I’m not hurt. I was just really shy around you so you probably didn’t notice me a lot,” Ladybug smiles in forgiveness.

“I really liked you back then. I always thought you were so nice,” Adrien disagrees. Ladybug feels her face heat up a little bit.

“I liked you too. Actually I.. I had a  _ really _ big crush. I guess it never really went away,” Ladybug laughs at herself, “I’m sorry to use LB, but dating you as Marinette wouldn’t have worked, and right now with what Thierry’s said about me…”

“He was definitely the one cheating on you,” Adrien frowns. He hadn’t spared a brain cell for Thierry since the last time he saw him and Adrien wasn’t even very clear when that even was.

“I dated him for such a long time and he never knew I was Ladybug, and here you are already detectived everything,” Ladybug rolls her eyes.

“It’s a little different if I already know you’re a superhero,” Adrien smiles at her and she is glad to see his smile.

“I’ve just been thinking a lot of what-ifs and regretting all this wasted time. Like, I would have picked Marinette over Kagami, for sure.”

“You wouldn’t have. Kagami’s a little more forward than I am, anyway,” Ladybug shakes her head.

“You know her?”

“I was there for your first date! And when you first met!” Ladybug laughs immediately, “You definitely did not pick Marinette.”

“Shit. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine.”

“It’s really fine.”

“Don’t let me get away with things like that. It’s not cool.”

“But Kagami was awesome, I don’t really blame you.”

“Yeah, she was awesome,” Adrien gives up on arguing. Ladybug studies him for a moment.

“What happened with you two? If-if you don’t mind sharing. I won’t tell anyone,” she asks because there is no reason not to, and she hasn’t heard Adrien mention Kagami on purpose before.

“Well, I didn’t cheat on her. Just so you know. My father orchestrated all those girls that said that. I was on drugs, that part was true, but I didn’t cheat. I wouldn’t,” Adrien tells her emphatically. Like he was desperate to be believed. Ladybug did believe him, even though his explanation made even less sense than if he had just simply said he didn’t cheat.

“Kagami didn’t believe you?” Ladybug frowns, still stuck on Gabriel. He wanted people to think that his own son was a serial womanizer to stop his marriage to the Tsurugi family? It had almost ruined Adrien. Not that it really mattered in the end, because Adrien had become somewhat of a womanizer anyway.

“She might have, but that wasn’t as much as a problem as not showing up to my own wedding was,” Adrien chuckles.

“Why didn’t you?” she asks. She already knows that Adrien hadn’t shown up. That day had been shitty for her, too. She was upset about his marriage and then Hawk Moth executed the last of his really big complicated plans and she found Chat Noir trying to Cataclysm Gabriel Agreste’s face. That was the worst fight she ever had with Chat Noir  _ and it had happened right in front of Gabriel who is Hawk Moth.  _ And then, of course, Kagami was akumatized over being left at the altar. Ladybug had to fight Kagami on her own.

“I forgot  _ why _ , really. There was something else I thought I had to do. She wasn’t understanding about it and then I checked into rehab and never saw her again.”

“What could be more important than getting married?” Ladybug doesn’t mean to accuse him but something about his story makes it feel like he is lying. She’s so used to Adrien being more than honest with her that it was a little bewildering when he wasn’t.

“Addicts do weird things. I don’t really have an excuse. What about you? I’m assuming that Luka was the snake holder, since Marinette was dating him at the same time Ladybug was with Viperion,” he is desperate to redirect and it works because Ladybug’s brain shuts down at the sudden assault about Luka.

“There is no snake holder now. We will retire it through the next generation of heroes,” Ladybug says coldly. Adrien looks down at his empty wine glass. Chat Noir already knew that part.

“What happened?” Adrien asks. He hadn’t been there when it happened and nobody had ever explained to Chat why Vipey had gone berserk on the city. It wasn’t even an akumatization. He didn’t know if it was that Ladybug and Viperion broke up that set him off, or if the breakup was a result of the incident.

“It’s private,” Ladybug finally answers him. Adrien blinks. He had fully expected an explanation, but she was even refusing to give one to Adrien. He knew that Ladybug didn’t want to talk about it but he had already told her so many of the things that he didn’t want to talk about today.

“It must have hurt you,” Adrien decides. He isn’t going to press her. If they kept dating, maybe she would eventually share what happened with him. Or maybe someday she would confide in Chat. Maybe now that he knew Vipey’s identity, he could just ask Luka about it in person if they ran into each other. It wasn’t too uncommon to see him at some dumb celebrity event or another.

“I loved him more than anything,” Ladybug whispers and he feels it hurt him inside the same way that it always did. There was no one more clear on just how much in love Ladybug and Viperion were than Chat Noir. Adrien habitually grazes his fingers over his wrist where Viperion had broken it.  _ I spent so much time being stupid. I was always stupid. _

“I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to make it awkward. That’s all in the past now but it’s hard for me to talk about and a lot of it really is personal and I can’t talk about it even if I did want to,” Ladybug has obviously noticed how hurt he is. At least she can notice when Adrien is hurt.

“I get it, Ladybug,” he nods his head, his personal theories about Viperion somehow gaining a little more evidence regardless. Maybe he would never know what really happened.

“Are you still close with Chloe? It’s been years since I saw her,” Ladybug decides it is way past the time to change the subject from their love lives.

“I’m not close with anyone,” Adrien points out in response, “I saw her last summer at a charity gala but we haven’t spoken in a decade.”

“Oh,” Ladybug sighs sadly, “She was your oldest friend, so I…”

“It was hard getting rid of her, I had to say a bunch of shitty homophobic stuff to get her angry enough to give up.”

“Why would you do that?”

“If she was the only person left hanging around me, she would be the only target for my father.”

“Why does your father hate you so much? Even if you do know his identity?” Ladybug asks again.

“The two of us just live and do things specifically to spite one another. I don’t have to be a model, but I know it annoys him. In a way, we are just fighting. Except it’s kind of to the death and he’s blackmailing me and I can’t get the upper hand on him because I am much better at ruining my own reputation than he is and Gabriel Agreste is literally and figuratively untouchable.” 

“He’s really gotten into your head,” Ladybug is really concerned. It was becoming more and more painfully obvious how much of a victim Adrien was of Hawk Moth’s- no,  _ Gabriel’s _ \- abuse. She had seen Gabriel destroy people and with much less effort than Adrien. She refills their wine glasses, aware that she is certainly drunk too by now. They try and reminisce a little about collège like how they were in a music video together and a video game competition. Anything instead of talking about Gabriel Agreste, but they soon fall into silence.

“Do you remember Lila?” Ladybug asks quietly. Adrien takes a sip of wine, trying to dig into his memories. Lila is much clearer than his impression of Marinette.

“She’s like… worse than my father beside the whole being a literal terrorist thing,” Adrien smirks.

“I was stuck with her all through lycée too. She never stopped being a bitch,” Ladybug agrees. Adrien whistles. 

“Wow Ladybug has a  _ mouth _ !”

“Superheroes are people too,” she defends, “I’m not perfect.”

“What did you bring up Lila for?” Adrien reminds. Ladybug shrugs.

“Thinking about us back then reminded me of her.”

“What about Nino and Alya, how are they?”

“They’re strong. Still together. They both are doing pretty well. Nino writes music for TV and Alya is an editor,” she informs dutifully. 

“Huh. Good for them. Especially to be together for that long.”

“They were off and on again a little for a while. Or a lot, kinda.”

“They got married, though. I remember getting the invitation,” Adrien fingers his glass.

“I told them to invite you. I thought you would come. I… hoped you would, I guess.”

“My father would have found  _ someone _ there to akumatize and ruin it if I had gone,” Adrien sighs.

“I mean… he did anyway,” Ladybug smirks. Adrien laughs. Of course. His father had always hated Nino, and had continued to be stupidly obsessed with his old schoolmates for years after collège.

“You invited me to someone else’s wedding and you pick me for almost all your lines,” Adrien dares next, but Ladybug misses his point.

“I debuted my label right  when you first got out of rehab. I think it was your first project after the Kagami scandal. You probably needed the work but I was so happy that you agreed to it, like you were doing me a favor and not the other way around. You didn’t even know it was me, though,” Ladybug laughs at it. Adrien can’t help but to feel a little guilty. He stands up and goes to look out the window at the last rays of sun.

“Let’s get out of here,” he suggests enthusiastically.

“No way, we are both drunk,” Ladybug shoots him down and Adrien deflates a little more.

“I just feel like this is all heavy and it’s not what I like. I wanna do somethin’ fun and forget about all this.”

“You know what? That sounds good. Do you still have those VR headsets?” Ladybug stands up and then realizes how dizzy she is. That was so much more wine than she was used to drinking. Adrien clumsily supports her. 

“VR is probably a  _ bad _ idea,” he laughs.

“No kidding. Hope your dad doesn’t decide to akumatize anyone tonight.”

“Shit, I didn’t even think of that.”

“It’s fine,” Ladybug waves her hand limply. 

“What we need… what we need to do is something real stupid,” Adrien nods his head in resolution, thinking about how Ladybug definitely doesn’t do drugs so that’s off the table as an option. Ladybug catches his lips in a fleeting kiss.

“ _ Very _ stupid,” she agrees in a whisper. He almost laughs, but his heart was beating too quickly for him to catch his breath.

“Even though I am the one and only son of your arch-nemesis?”

“I’ve never thought of you as anybody but you,” Ladybug smiles at him, and it’s a lovely smile. Adrien swallows.  _ Maybe you should. _

“You’re not scared that this is some trap set up by Hawk Moth?”

“If it is, he’s only doing me more favors,” Ladybug draws him into another kiss and Adrien feels his whole body blush.

There wasn’t an akuma that night to interrupt them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully you have fewer or more questions now yay  
> I made some sort of timeline: anjiejie.tumblr.com/post/185373677386/i-made-a-timeline-for-the-backstory-in-my-ladrien
> 
> back to the regularly scheduled fluff next episode no more stupidly long discussions. Probably?


	16. Chapter 16

Apparently being blessed by the goddess of luck doesn’t give you any actual luck. Adrien’s secret legal name is on the news. Gabriel Blanc is going to have to get himself another new identity. Maybe he can have Ladybug come up with one for him. Adrien really wasn’t looking forward to people asking why he had taken his father’s name. He didn’t have a good cover story for it. The reason was nothing more than it was the last thing anyone would have expected him to pick. Adrien spends about an hour on baby name websites, texting options to an ever-suffering Charles for his opinion.

 

* * *

 

It’s past noon when Adrien’s ring buzzes against his palm. Doesn’t Ladybug know that Chat Noir is on break again? He yells out for Plagg and they both begrudgingly transform about it. Chat opens the videophone compartment on his baton and calls Ladybug back.

“Akuma?” he asks even though he already knows there isn’t one.

“I need to talk to you.”

“OK, talk,” he grins, delighting a little in her exasperated eye-roll. It was something he didn’t really get from her as Adrien.

“I’d prefer to do it in person. When and where can you meet?”

“Now is fine so I don’t have to feed Plagg again. Tour Eiffel?”

“Ten minutes,” Ladybug hangs up on him. Chat Noir groans to himself. He knows what this is about and he is not ready for it. He wants to be petty and cruel but he knows he won’t be able to bring himself to say anything of the sort. Nine years and four months of wanting to scream ‘I told you so!’ at Ladybug and the desire to do so was completely erased after just one night of passion. _Figures._ What was he going to do if she felt guilty enough to want to do a reveal to like… make it all up to him or something? _Oh fuck. She probably will._

 

Chat Noir is there before she is, grinning like a madman. She can tell now that it’s a mask.

“Hey did you hear about your boyfriend’s name? Maybe he should change it to Chat Noir next!”

“You have been dying to say that all freaking day, haven’t you?” any nervousness that she had been feeling was totally gone. That _was_ what the cat was good for, pretending or not.

“Please pass along my suggestion,” Chat pouts at her, putting on his best kitten face. It didn’t work anymore coming from a grown-ass man.

“Chaton,” Ladybug tries to reign the conversation back to an acceptable level of seriousness. Chat Noir’s smile falters.

“You wouldn’t call me to talk unless it’s big or about Adrien. So is this about me and Carapace?” he look out at their view of the city.

“It’s because I owe you an apology. A big one,” Ladybug shifts her weight and Chat’s eyes trail to her. He only waits. “You were right about Hawky and I should have listened to you. I’m sorry. I’m _so_ sorry, minou.” She hasn’t called him ‘minou’ since they were teenagers. It was one of a million privileges she had denied him as punishment for attacking Gabriel Agreste. She sees his body jolt at the word.

“Bugster… even if you did believe me, you wouldn’t have let me kill him,” Chat mumbles in her general direction, “Listen, I’ve obsessed about all the what-ifs for years and I don’t think things would have turned out any differently if anything changed. I’ll murder that man if I get the chance to and you won’t like it. That’s the end of the story.”

“Maybe we would have beaten him by now and you’d be free,” Ladybug swallows. Chat Noir is silent again. It was so unusual for him. “I feel really bad about what I’ve done to you.”

“I could never be mad at you for long, Ladybug. That was a long time ago and you were pretty much in the right besides not believing me,” Chat Noir offers a smile. Ladybug hugs him tightly.

 

“So what do you want to do about _Gabriel Agreste_?” Chat Noir asks, face still pressed into her pigtail. Her hair smells the same way it had the night before. Ladybug pulls out of the hug and Chat steps back quickly.

“Adrien thinks it’s dangerous to go on the offensive, but suggested we might be able to get close to Gabriel as civilians.”

“Because you know Gabriel Agreste personally,” Chat Noir nods, he is just going through the motions of this conversation.

“I do. Is there any way you can get close to him with your alter-ego too?” Ladybug asks. Chat holds his breath for a second.

“No,” he forces out.

“I think I can help you get into the company as staff, but-” Ladybug starts to offer.

“No,” he stops her. It might have been a good plan if he was anyone except for who he was, “My identity is compromised.” The next-to-last of his secrets. He watches the panic bloom on Ladybug’s face.

“Are you sure?” she gasps at him. He might as well tell her how since he’s told her.

 

“When I was seventeen he tried to get civilian-me to join him. Kinda like what he did with that Volpina girl, do you remember that? When he told me he was Hawk Moth I immediately tried to fight him as Chat like an idiot.”

“He has almost always known who you are?” Ladybug’s hand is over her mouth. She knew that Chat’s reputation in his real life was pretty bad, but was he really as bad as _Lila_?

“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to stop being Chat Noir. I was also pretty embarrassed about it. I am very careful now. It hasn’t gotten anyone hurt yet.”

“I know, Tiger.”

“Ladybug… I am really going to sit out for a while. Carapace was right about me. I have to get my shit together. You even got a concussion the other day because I was fucked up.”

“That did not happen because of you and the akumas have died down again,” Ladybug tries to justify, still obviously wrangling with the fact that Hawk Moth knows who Chat Noir is and has never succeeded in getting his Miraculous.

 

“I’m dangerous. I’ve always been dangerous and I will always be dangerous. Whether or not you believe me about Moth and no matter how bad you feel about punishing me. I’m just cursed and that’s how things are,” Chat Noir says and Ladybug is struck by how hopeless and resigned to his fate that he seems. He didn’t have any hope left and it was torturing him.

“Chat Noir… I… do you want to tell each other who we are?” she offers. He runs his hands through his blonde hair, across his cat ears.

“I’m scared,” he admits, “You might be angry.”

“I would never be angry about who you are. You will always be Chat Noir first to me.”

“I’m not ready. Let’s talk about it again when I come back. Are Rena and Carapace okay to roll for a while?” he’s only asking conversationally but he notices Ladybug’s hesitation. He knows that Rena hasn’t shown up lately either.

“We can handle it, Tiger. You take care of whatever you need to do. Do you still have my phone number?”

 

* * *

 

Marinette flips idly through some pages of fabric samples, running her fingers across the textures. She felt bad for Chat Noir and Adrien. She was the one that had failed both of them. Marinette felt especially responsible for Chat and how she had made such a cheerful and fun-loving boy into a lonely and depressed man. He was still always lighthearted and cheerful, of course, but it was only because he had locked his incredible pain away. _And I hurt him more- I always made it worse_. Marinette’s cell phone buzzes in her pocket and she is thankful for the distraction. It was Adrien Agreste. She knew that she had programmed his number in to her non-Ladybug phone at some point, but where had he gotten her Marinette number? The message was a link to an app and a note that his username was ‘cheesecat69’. Marinette grins to herself, Adrien probably had to fight Chat Noir for a username like that. It’s a word scramble game and she initiates a match between Monsieur Cheesecat69 and the newly minted Mademoiselle GetLucky420.

 

“Did someone get a boyfriend and not tell me?” Martin, of course, catches her in the middle of trying to make any sort of move worth more than five points. Adrien was _really_ good at this game, his last word had scored in the low 40s. “Who is it?”

“None of your business, Martin!” Marinette puts her phone away quickly. Just like if she had something to hide.

“Is he a secret? He’s not married or anything, is he?” Martin is obviously teasing her and Marinette knows it.

“You don’t see me asking you for details about _your_ sex life,” Marinette crosses her arms, happy to briefly play along.

“Oh… it’s just a _sex friend_ , then?”

“A sex friend who is _very good_ at spelling.”

“Marry him, you need all the help with spelling that you can get,” Martin nods his head instantly. They look stoically at each other for a few seconds before bursting into laughter at the same time.

“Anyway, you’ve been invited to a gala next week. You should take your _sex friend_ with you.”

“Nope, you’re coming.”

“No thanks.”

“You’re going or you’re fired.”

“So fire me. Take your _sex friend_ . I bet you that he’s _great_ at galas.”

 

* * *

 

Adrien frowns at the text from Marinette. She’s sent him a link to a different app. _So easily defeated?_ This one is a quiz game, he knows he’s going to beat her at this too. Ladybug doesn’t stand a chance. He leaned back a little in the cafe chair, waiting for the app to download. The chair’s leg breaks and he finds himself on the ground and his phone screen shattered. Adrien pushes his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose in a kind of stunned shock. _That was a new one, luck gods._ His fall draws a lot of concern for him from the employees and other patrons in the cafe and it’s only a few seconds before people realize that he’s Adrien Agreste (or maybe, more accurately, as everyone now unfortunately knows- Gabriel Blanc) and he has to gently leave. So much for finishing his coffee. He slides around the streets of the quarter until he finds a cell phone store. Adrien buys himself two phones and a new phone number. And two phone cases and screen protectors. _Not that they ever help._ He texts Ladybug’s Ladybug phone with his Chat Noir phone, giving her permission to pass his number to Carapace too. Pleased with himself, he exits the store to find his motorcycle gone.

“Fucking _really?_ ” Adrien groans up at the sky. Plagg snickers from his jacket. Adrien’s new Adrien phone rings but it takes him a moment to realize that it’s his- he’s a little distracted by the fact that his bike has disappeared again and the ringtone is different.

“Charles,” Adrien sighs. He doesn’t know why the guy insists on using Facetime for everything.

“Hey, man. There’s some party thing next week, they want you to bring Ladybug.”

 

Despite how shitty his day was being, Adrien does manage to show up to the support group meeting on time. He stopped coming a few years ago, but apparently that had been a bad idea. He doesn’t recognize anyone and the leader is even different, so it is like starting from scratch all over again. Which is fine. He’s sure the worst part about getting sober enough to return to hero duties is going to be having to give up partying. He didn’t really know anything else, and he was already bored without the distraction. Maybe he should go ahead and buy that small business he wants to run with Ladybug. Except she’s already got her own business and it is definitely not small and he definitely wants nothing to do with it. Well, nothing more to do than he is already doing. Plus, his father always found a way to destroy all the business prospects Adrien got himself into anyway. Maybe he should really try to buy that nightclub from Victor, nothing would be truly lost if that place went under and it’d be a good waste of time.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, find a shirt. You’re coming apartment-hunting with me,” Adrien wakes up to Marinette standing over him. He blinks at her blurry form. He has a headache and really, really wants a drink.

“What? What time is it?” he sits up, moving some of his pillows out of the way.

“The morning time,” she answers cheerfully. Adrien rubs his face and squints at her.

“Adrien Agreste can’t go with MDC to look at apartments. He’s dating Ladybug.”

“I brought you a disguise but you have to provide your own shirt,” she grins, tossing a bag at him, “You have half an hour.”

“What if I had stuff to do today?” he whines. He feels guilty that he would have probably been more excited about this if she was transformed.

“You don’t,” the confident response.

“I do! I was going to sleep until noon and work out and take a shower and beat you at a few more rounds of trivia. Tomorrow I have a fitting with Armani so I was going to get a haircut.”

“You will still have plenty of time to get a haircut,” Lady- no, Marinette, assures. Adrien notices her outfit for the first time. It’s a black and white suit with red shoes. Very Ladybug. She leaves him alone in his room to change. Adrien rushes through a shower and his skincare routine, sacrificing only shaving in the name of time.

 

“I like the wig,” Adrien mumbles. Marinette steps over to him and adjusts it, grinning.

“It looks good on you.”

“Maybe I should dye my hair black for a while,” he spins around her to pour himself some water so that he can take a handful of ibuprofen.

“Absolutely not,” she shakes her head vehemently. Adrien grins. She checks her phone and then looks back up at him.

“Your bar is gone?”

“For now,” he chuckles, slightly embarrassed. His kitchen looked _really empty_ without the millions of bottles cluttering the counters.

“Good for you. Let’s go!”

“Just a minute, Marinette. Why am I going with you, anyway?” he complains but follows her obediently out of his condo and into the elevator anyway.

“I just wanted to see you, and this is what I had to do today,” she shrugs her shoulders. Adrien chokes back his smile, but he knows that he can’t stop himself from blushing. She wanted to spend time with him, even doing chores. _Ladybug_ was taking him to look at apartments with her. Never in his wildest dreams.

 

“This is really nice,” Adrien opens the window and looks down at the street, calculating how he would exit as Chat and therefore, how Ladybug would exit as Ladybug. It wasn’t ideal, but the apartment was otherwise great. It was near her studio and had four bedrooms. Everything was upgraded. What did Ladybug need all this space for, anyway? It made him uncomfortable. All of the rooms were so large. He had thought his penthouse was big, but she was just blatantly outdoing him on square footage. It reminded Adrien vaguely of his childhood home.

“Don’t fall out, Buttercup,” Marinette pulls on the back of his jacket. Adrien laughs lightly, realizing he was leaned very far out of the window. He steps back, closing the window behind him.

“The view isn’t great.”

“What, not high enough up for you?” Marinette smirks. Adrien shrugs.

“Are you sure we need so many rooms?”

“We discussed this, dear,” she sighs dramatically. Adrien frowns. They hadn’t, this was just an act for the person showing them the space. He was, however, all in on this acting thing.

“Care to remind me? Are we going to have three children? Do we already have three children?” he brushes some of the wig hair away from his forehead. It’s getting uncomfortable and annoying and this is only the second place they’ve looked at. Marinette rolls her eyes and thanks the agent.

 

“We have some time for lunch before the next appointment,” Marinette offers, “What would you like?”

“Coffee,” Adrien points at the cafe across the street immediately. He slides on his sunglasses, just as insurance. They cross the street and get a discreet booth in the back of the shop.

“I think I want a room for a studio or an office. Like your place. I like the setup you have even though your bedroom is tiny,” she says before he can ask again. She knows that he’s still curious and waiting to bring it back.

“And the other bedrooms?”

“Don’t get jealous.”

“Jealous?” he smirks with curiosity.

“I am thinking of asking Chat Noir to move in with me. I’m not even going to bother assuming he’d say no and I want to give him enough of his own space,” Marinette says. She can’t read Adrien’s expression under his sunglasses and his wig. All that she knows is that he isn’t saying anything. The waiter comes by and they order. Adrien takes off his sunglasses.

“Are you mad about Chat?”

“No. No, I’m not. I think that’s really sweet of you,” his voice sounds measured and calm. Fake.

 

_Holy shit Ladybug actually wants to live with me. It’s not a joke at all, she’s taking me seriously._ Adrien is freaking out. _Ladybug actually_ likes _me and she doesn’t hate me and she does actually want to live with me._

“You don’t seem like you like it… but… I’ve known Chat almost my whole life. He’s my partner and I think it would be good for him. He’s kind of like you. Hurting,” Marinette is saying. Adrien watches these things about him come out of her mouth and he is beyond moved. How was it that she kept doing that to him? How can she care so much about him?

“Maybe you can try moving in with him instead of getting an apartment?” Adrien forces himself to suggest, doing his best to pretend like he was calm and handling this like a mature adult.

“Well… I kind of… if this works out, maybe the three of us will have to live together,” Marinette bits her bottom lip, her eyes darting around. Adrien feels his heart skip _another_ beat. _She wants to live with Adrien, too. That’s why she invited me along today._

“I’d like living with you,” he can’t help himself anymore and his carefully constructed face disintegrates into a wide smile. Marinette gives him a shy smile in return.

“I think you and Chat would get along really well. Your sense of humor is pretty much the same. And you have similar hobbies, I think. You both like movies and-”

“I’ll have to meet him sometime,” Adrien stops her, suddenly becoming nervous that she would keep going on about their similarities and put two and two together. She didn’t.

"He wants me to pass on the suggestion that you should change your name to Chat Noir," Marinette says. Adrien can't help but to laugh at himself. It was too funny to play off his self with Ladybug like this.

"I'd love to be Chat Noir," he breathes through his guffaws. They joke and talk some more over their lunches and coffee.

 

“Hey, there’s this event I got invited to, and they want me to bring Ladybug. Are you free next Friday?” Adrien remembers, somehow, about the thing. Marinette freezes.

“It… wouldn’t happen to be a… um, gala... would it?” she asks. Adrien cringes. Of course.

“You got invited too?”

“I could not show up as Marinette, but I was going to use the opportunity to introduce my assistant around to some people… but it wouldn’t be the first time I had to go to something as both people…”

“You don’t have to. I’ve got a reputation about not showing up.”

“You also have a reputation for not missing out on a party,” Marinette’s eyes twinkle. Adrien laughs.

“I feel so called out.”

 

* * *

 

“Call for a _chat_?” Adrien answers the Chat Noir phone. It’s the fourth time Carapace has called him today, but Adrien was in the middle of being shaved and trimmed at the barber’s the first two times and arguing with a police detective about his stolen motorcycle the third time.

“Chat Noir?”

“The one and only. Except for some people’s cats, probably,” he chuckles at himself, “And people probably _roleplay_. But I’m the real one, I purrrrrrrrromise!”

“Yup, it’s you.”

“And you’re Nino, right?”

“Yeah. Look, I’m sorry I sprung that on you, dude.”

“It was actually pretty enlightening. You’re an acquaintance of mine, that’s why I acted like that. I don’t think I’m ready to let people know who I am at the moment,” Adrien tells him. He’s actually kind of glad to have someone to talk to. He couldn’t exactly go texting and calling former one-night-stands or his party friends. Ladybug was great and his girlfriend, but he didn’t want to smother her and it was probably unhealthy to only speak to one person all the time every day. Plagg notwithstanding.

“I know you?” Nino sounds incredulous.

“Yeah. How’s Alya?”

“I uh… wait, how close are we?”

“I don’t know. We haven’t… talked in a while?” Adrien tries.

 

“That’s fine, just weird. I heard from Ladydude about Moth and you. And who Moth is.”

“I knew you’d call only to talk business,” Adrien chuckles. He’s standing in his kitchen now. No food. No vodka. Nothing. A bunch of bananas and a baguette and a fridge full of camembert but no wine to enjoy it with. He unwraps a wheel of cheese for Plagg anyway. He could just skip dinner. He _should_ probably skip dinner, actually.

“Yeah I know dude, but we gotta.”

“I’m not going to fight Hawk Moth so you can count me out of any planning. Just be really careful if you’re doing anything. I threw away almost all my drugs and booze and I went to a meeting. I’m doing good, you’d approve of it,” Adrien tries to hit all their business points at once so their conversation doesn’t have to focus on all of it.

“G-glad to hear it…”

“Was there something else?” Adrien can hear it in the tone of Carapace’s voice.

“Are… are you okay with the Adrien Agreste thing?”

“What Adrien Agreste thing?” Adrien realizes what he means as the sentence is coming out of his mouth, “Oh. Right. Yeah. I’m cool.”

“You sure? I know how you feel about Ladybug.”

“Believe me. This time I am more than happy for her.”


	17. Chapter 17

Marinette planned everything meticulously. That’s what she excels in. She even gave Adrien a chart with a specific timeline and he laughed about it good naturedly. She and Martin would arrive at the gala well before Adrien does, so she can accomplish everything she would normally do. Three hours into the party, with one hour left to go, she’d leave as Marinette and Ladybug will show up to steal the show. Adrien will be her arm candy until the inevitable akuma shows up to ruin the whole event. And they could expect Hawk Moth to take advantage of the opportunity, since Ladybug and Adrien were scheduled to be there together. It’s fair to plan for a really strong akuma or possibly multiple. If she were Hawk Moth, she would definitely plan a huge scheme. Plan for both sides to be more than prepared. A contingency for every possibility. Marinette sighs, she wasn’t Gabriel. He would just try to do as much damage at once as he could. He would only be luring out Chat Noir, so he would only make the fight intense enough that Chat felt like the had to participate. That was all she had to plan around. And hope that Chat didn’t participate. She had created the best plan that she could. She reviewed everything so many times. This was going to work out.

 

It was working out just fine for Adrien. As much as it could be. His limo actually delivered him to the venue when he was supposed to arrive and he was feeling pretty fly in his new Armani suit, deep plack over a black shirt. Black tie. All he was missing was a mask, basically. It was obnoxious, he was being blatant. Maybe someone would notice. Or at least make jokes about it. Plant the idea in Ladybug’s head so she has time to get used to it. Besides, black looked damn good on him. He fielded questions and comments about Ladybug effortlessly, glad to not have to say a single thing about himself all evening. Things go a little sour when his cufflink gets stuck in someone’s dress and it rips. His mood is definitely brought down by that, because it was a big deal and stressful. And a clear reminder that his unlucky curse was still in full effect. Adrien allows himself one glass of champagne to take the edge off his nerves. He nurses the glass carefully, wishing to make it last forever. He forgets that when he catches sight of Luka Couffaine and abandons the glass on a table, heading straight for him.

 

“Luka, good to see you,” Adrien extends his hand with a grin. Luka moves his own glass of champagne to his other hand in order to meet the handshake, but it’s obvious he already knows what this is about.

“Nice cat costume,” is what Luka opens with. Adrien purses his lips, he had imagined this being much more amicable and instead all he was remembering was how much he hated Viperion. Adrien consciously has to stop himself from touching his wrist.

“I like Chat Noir.”

“You probably won’t once you meet him,” Luka shrugs his shoulders, “So? What did you want to say?”

“What happened?” Adrien asks simply. Luka looks around the ballroom, his gaze finding Marinette and Martin. He watches her for a moment.

“If she won’t tell you, I’m not.”

“What can you tell me?” Adrien presses vaguely, attaching himself to Luka’s side. He had an hour and a half before Ladybug showed up. He was too curious about this mystery. It had plagued him for seven years. Was Luka really just mentally ill? Luka looks away from Marinette to meet Adrien’s eyes.

 

“Does Ladybug know you’re the enemy?”

“What do you mean by that?” Adrien frowns.

“Your father.”

“I’m not working with my father,” Adrien is surprised that any of the other heroes had known about Hawk Moth before his recent reveal to Ladybug. And Luka wasn’t a hero anymore.

“You went to his side?” Adrien breathes, the realization hitting him like a bus. Adrien (or Chat Noir, more accurately) has been hit by a bus before, so he knows. This was a possibility he had never considered.

“I wanted to change reality.”

“Because you broke up?” it doesn’t make sense.

“No. I was doing it for her,” Luka drains the rest of his glass, “You’ll figure it out.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Adrien pushes some more, but a hand on a familiar spot on his upper arm freezes him. Luka’s eyes move past Adrien to the woman standing behind him and Luka takes a few steps away in clear submission, glad to be able to escape this conversation.

 

“Adrien.”

“Y-you’re… hi,” he gathers all of his courage to turn and face Kagami. In person. She looked like she did in the magazines. On the internet. In the movies. In his dreams. Her gown was shimmery and black, a blazer draped over her shoulders and her hair pinned to one side.

“I heard about your father,” is what she says and he snaps back to reality. Everyone wanted to talk about his father, now?

“Did everyone know about that already?” Adrien grins brightly at her, all of his anxiety gone. Kagami was only talking to him for work. They wouldn’t have to drag out the past and talk about it right now. Or ever. Regardless, he can practically see tomorrow’s headlines about this meeting.

“I was just told when I was called to help this evening,” Kagami picks up two glasses from a passing waiter and hands one to Adrien. He looks at the wine like it’s going to eat him.  _ How is it that dating Ladybug makes it feel like the last nine years suddenly don’t exist? _

“You haven’t fought in a long time.”

“Last week I was literally sparring with a muay thai expert,” Kagami frowns. Adrien chuckles. Kagami was literally famous for fighting, it had been stupid of him to say what he had.

“I get it. Sorry. That’s not what I meant,” he smiles.

“So what’s wrong with the cat?” Kagami asks him.

“The usual.”

“You look fine to me,” she comments.

“You look even better,” it naturally comes out of him. He couldn’t turn off the flirt no matter what, and especially not standing in front of one of the two women he had ever loved. Kagami smirks.

“Not playing now that you finally got what you wanted?”

 

Adrien somehow restrains from drinking the glass of wine from Kagami, but he really regrets it once he spills said wine on the  _ actual President of France _ . They were just exchanging pleasantries and the next thing Adrien knew, he was being pulled off by security. Adrien stutters out as many apologies as he possibly can but it is way too late. They leave him safely on the opposite side of the ballroom. Adrien rubs his hands through his hair out of habit. This was a stressful party. It was not a fun party at all and he wanted to leave. He couldn’t drink, there were no drugs, he felt like an idiot, Kagami was here even though she avoids Paris like the plague, and there wasn’t even any dancing. He accidentally bumps into a waiter that drops their tray of glasses and everything in the area stills for about five seconds as people turn to look at the noise. At the mess. At him. Again. Adrien finds a place to safely sit, feeling more and more mortified by the second. He checks his rolex. One hour until Ladybug saves the day. He doesn’t want to do it anymore, but it’s the only thing that might cancel out the rest of his negative press from the evening. He accepts another glass of wine when one is offered to him. He can always start over tomorrow.

 

Drunk or not, Adrien was good at spotting his father’s butterflies. The President’s pocket square. Luka’s phone. A waiter’s tray. He doesn’t see where the fourth akuma comes from but he suspects that he knows who it is. Adrien is quick to relay the information to Ladybug while she is (for what seems like the millionth time) carrying him to safety.

“Stay here, I think the president is mad at you.”

“All four of them are mad at me,” Adrien points out. Ladybug nods her head, standing in front of his hiding place protectively. Adrien watches the other heroes fill in to the gala. Nino, Kagami, Alix, Chloe, and a man he doesn’t know using the mouse miraculous. Adrien understood the reasoning. Ladybug had told him that Hawk Moth was going to be trying to lure out Chat Noir. People were probably going to think that the new mouse user was Chat just in a different power, and the intention was probably to fool Hawk Moth that way. It wasn’t going to work on Hawk Moth, not with Adrien being in the same place. Adrien hadn’t known about this part of the plan, Marinette hadn’t told him more than what Adrien was directly involved in. He bites his lip. They had really called in quite a few reinforcements. It’s really his fault that everyone has to do this. There hasn’t been a big fight like this in almost a decade, and Chat was going to miss it. Adrien places his hand over where Plagg is hiding in his suit.  _ I can’t. Only as a last resort. _ Ladybug is focused solely on protecting him and the thought of it tickles at the back of his throat. No matter how guilty he feels, he  _ likes _ it. He likes her like this. Without the distraction. Strong and powerful and confident and focused and  _ caring _ so much about him.

 

Adrien didn’t seem scared. It was like he had complete and blind confidence in her. Adrien didn’t even flinch when a projectile goes flying past his head. He was supposed to be hiding! He had been a hundred times more frightened in the haunted house than he was now. It was like he was completely jaded by akumas. Even distracted by the attacks coming at them, Ladybug could see the way he watched. Calculated, confident. He was waiting for something. For things to go wrong, probably. Stuff always went wrong for Adrien. It was kind of a miracle the guy hadn’t been hit by a car or something yet.  _ Stop that. Focus. Keep him safe. _ Everyone else is here to defeat the akumas. She could have just left Adrien with Carapace, but it didn’t sit totally right with her to drop her boyfriend on someone else’s lap like that, and Carapace was the most experienced after her and Chat Noir. They needed him to fight and help protect the others. Adrien needed to be protected because Hawk Moth was trying to hurt him, unlike all the usual akuma victims and those caught in the cross-fire. Adrien was in actual danger. An actual danger that Hawk Moth would ensure her miraculous ladybug cure couldn’t just fix. She was watching for the mundane and Adrien wasn’t anywhere near frightened enough because he thought this was just akumas. He was incapable of thinking like his father did, and Adrien didn’t know his father. But Ladybug did.

 

There’s a monster now too, probably Mayura’s doing.Two more akumas show up and Ladybug doesn’t know where they’ve come from. There is one monster per hero, now. With one extra. The two new akumas aren’t interested in Adrien, but that’s not as much of a help as it should have been. She can’t keep her spot protecting Adrien. Another akuma, and she’s distracted. Kagami defeats the president and Ladybug is cleansing that butterfly when she sees the masked men. Civilians. The mundane thing. The most mundane. And they abduct Adrien Agreste.

 

* * *

 

Adrien is trembling when Ladybug opens the van door and pulls the bag off of his head. He blinks a few times in surprise. Ladybug cradles his cheek with her hand and coos softly. Adrien is so relieved he feels like crying, but he is too tired to cry. He had spent the whole evening crying already.

“Ladybug,” he says shakily, voice hoarse.

“I’m going to untie you, okay?” she whispers and all he can do is nod his head, “Are you hurt anywhere?”

“N-n… the… Chat Noir,” he breathes, lacing his fingers together in shock as soon as he is free.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Ladybug draws him into the best hug he’s probably ever had.

“No, n-no it’s not! My f-father has Chat,” he manages, body trembling. 

“Did Chat Noir try to save you?” Ladybug breathes. Hawk Moth had lured out the hero after all. Chat just couldn’t stop himself from helping, even when he wasn’t supposed to be.  _ He probably saw Adrien get taken and went after him since I couldn’t. _

“N-no. No…” Adrien wants to say it now, but he can’t since he’s finally been defeated. That would be too shameful. His lady would yell at him. He can’t stop his hands from shaking and he feels too empty without Plagg’s weight against him somewhere.

“Let me take you home. Is that okay? Can you hold on to me, please?” Ladybug speaks calmly. He can’t stop himself from following directions from Ladybug, it’s second nature.

 

“Here,” Ladybug wraps a blanket snugly around Adrien and then takes a step back. She chews on her thumbnail through her suit, watching Adrien shiver. He was completely traumatized. She should have taken him to the hospital.

“I need a drink,” he mumbles. 

“You don’t have anything here,” she shakes her head.

“Toolbox on the roof. Emergency reserve,” he closes his eyes. Ladybug frowns. She shouldn’t enable him.

“I’ll get you some water,” she says quietly and he groans but nods his head, “Are you going to be okay if I leave you alone for a second?”

“Yeah,” he whispers, looking much more forlorn than in the moment before. Ladybug steps away slowly, watching him as she goes. He doesn’t have a negative reaction to her absence so she relaxes a little. She doesn’t know what to do here. Usually she was saving victims of magical attacks, not traumatic kidnappings. Events with no repercussions, where people didn’t really remember what happened. Ladybug pulls out her yoyo compact and calls Chat Noir. Just to see. There’s no answer, but she can wait for one. When she transforms back into Marinette she can try to call his phone. She sends a message to Carapace about finding Adrien and Chat’s current status. Adrien doesn’t take the glass of water that she offers to him.

 

Ladybug cuddles against him on the couch and Adrien is so glad for it. She occasionally wipes a hand gently through his hair. It’s soothing. The shaking has stopped. He clings to her, though. She’s going to be so angry once she knows it’s him that is Chat Noir and that his ring has been taken right off of his hand and he wasn’t even transformed. He had been too scared to transform. He had been too scared to do anything. He was still scared now.

“You are safe now. I have you,” Ladybug whispers out of the blue and Adrien’s heart swells with his love for her. Maybe she was feeling guilty because he had been taken right out from under her nose, but Adrien didn’t care. 

“You have to stop my father now, don’t you?” he whispers.

“I have to rescue my cat,” Ladybug confirms.

“Maybe you should just let him go,” Adrien shakes his head, his nose rubbing against Ladybug’s shoulder. Ladybug is quiet for a second.

“I can’t. I’ve hurt him so much and I won’t abandon him now.”

“Stay with me, Ladybug,” Adrien whines before he can stop himself.

“I am not going anywhere.”

 

She is still there when Adrien wakes up, still in her Ladybug costume too. Still sound asleep after her long night fighting seven akumas and searching the city for her abducted millionaire boyfriend. Adrien wonders if they had bothered to cover up with a ransom request or not. He takes a shower, trying to figure out how he was supposed to get up on the roof without being able to transform. He’s in the middle of shaving when he realizes that he can just go to the store and buy himself whatever he wants. He doesn’t have to go to the roof at all. It’s when he opens his refrigerator that the reality really sinks in. He picks up one of the round boxes of cheese, his hand starting to shake. He can’t stop the tears once they come. He kneels down in front of the open refrigerator door. Plagg was gone. Ladybug rests her hand on his shoulder and then encases him from behind with her arms.

 

* * *

 

“He said before that he was afraid of being imprisoned. I think this really broke him. You should have seen how much he was shaking, Alya,” Marinette says quietly, “I knew that Gabriel would come after Adrien and Chat. I should have called in more help.”

“I think Hawky would have sent as many akumas as necessary. It’s not your fault.”

“Hawky just plays aggressively. No defense at all, he puts all his resources into attacking. We’re trying to do both offense and defense, that’s how he wins,” Marinette replies.

“He’s got nothing to lose,” Nino speaks up. Marinette nods her head sadly.

“We have to rescue Chat Noir.”

“We don’t even know if he still has Noir or if he’s just taken the Miraculous.”

“Or if Chat is even still alive,” Alya voices a fear that Marinette had yet to acknowledge. A silence settles over the room for several minutes.

“Can you keep an eye on missing persons reports, Als?” Nino says quietly, “He said he knew me in real life, like we had met before. He knew who you were, too. He asked me about you.”

“Then he knows Marinette, too,” Alya frowns.

“That’s not what matters. What matters is that we find him.”

“Yes ma’am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well shit.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am ONE HUNDRED PERCENT about adrien nino friendship ok

Once he’s assured Ladybug a thousand times that it’s okay to leave him and go to work or whatever she needs to do, Adrien goes in search of his gun. He knows Plagg moves it around so Adrien can’t be totally stupid and make mistakes, but Plagg wasn’t there to help him find it now either. He finds the bullets in a movie box set first and the gun buried inside of his punching bag. Plagg was very clever, the search and resulting cleanup eats up almost four hours of Adrien’s morning. It was a pretty good distraction from the current state of his life. Since he has to hide the holster, Adrien ends up dressing much nicer than he would have, a suit and vest. Green tie. With the glasses and the gun, he feels a little like a secret agent in a spy movie and it’s a small comfort. He goes to his regular bar for lunch and orders some sweet cocktail they have a special on. He scrolls through the messages that have been pouring in all morning on his Chat Noir phone. There’s no way he can talk to Ladybug as Chat Noir right now but he couldn't let the team worry about him like this.

 

“Chat Noir?” Carapace sounds frantic.

“Chill out. I’m fine apart from not having my ring anymore,” Adrien assures quietly. He hears Nino curse under his breath.

“What happened?”

“I was an idiot that froze up,” Adrien sips his drink.

“He didn’t capture you?”

“Gabriel thinks it’s funnier to let me go,” Adrien is pretty sure. It could just be all Hawk Moth wanted was the Miraculous and he didn’t care about Adrien at all one way or the other. Being hated is a little better than being inconsequential, so Adrien is going to think of it as Gabriel trying to hurt him more.

“Where are you?”

“Having lunch.”

“Where?”

“Are you sure I wouldn’t be luring you into a trap, Nino?”

“Hawky knows it’s enough to lure us with just the ring. If you say he let you go, he did. Even if you were bait, I would still like to see that you’re in one piece with my own eyes.”

 

* * *

 

“Looks like we left the party at the right time,” Martin comments carefully, watching Marinette check stitch work from the manufacturer for quality control. She was just there to make an appearance, to pretend like she had been there today. She’d leave again immediately. Marinette responds to his statement with a non-committal noise of agreement.

“Marinette?”

“Did you ever practice martial arts, Martin?” Marinette whispers, detached. She turns a shirt inside-out.

“No. I’m more into the less physical arts. Obviously.”

“Did you ever want to be a superhero?” is her rather direct question. Martin scoffs. He was flattered that she trusted him so much, but she must really be grasping at straws if she was asking him.

“Their outfits are hideous,” he declines. Marinette actually lets out a laugh.

 

* * *

 

Nino Lahiffe sits down next to Adrien Agreste at the bar.

“Is that what you’re having for lunch?” Nino eyes the glass between Adrien’s fingers.

“Yup,” Adrien pops his lips.

“The sunglasses don’t help when you’re that famous,” Nino informs him. Adrien sighs and changes back to the regular glasses.

“Don’t tell her yet. I wanna do it.”

“Good, because I don’t want to be the dude that has to deliver _that_ message,” Nino shakes his head and orders a beer. 

“She’ll be angry,” Adrien mumbles.

“Did those people hurt you?” Nino asks instead of confirming or denying.

“No, they just tied me up and I didn’t think to transform in time. Just took it right off my hand.”

“Because you were scared. It’s not your fault,” Nino tells him. Adrien looks at him, taking in the differences between this Nino and his memory. It was easier to think of him as Carapace, in a way.

“Yeah.”

“So your own father did that to you.”

“He’s done worse,” Adrien shrugs, looking back down at his glass.

“No wonder you’re fucked up, Noir.”

“I don’t like to blame my being fucked up on anything but me,” Adrien mumbles, “I was gonna get good but now I can’t fight even if I _was_ sober.”

“Dude, you can have your pick of the animals once you’re sober,” Nino says emphatically.

 

“No thanks. I wouldn’t even want cat back except that Plagg is the only family I have…” Adrien rubs his eyes with a long sigh, “That’s selfish. Plagg shouldn’t have to babysit me for the rest of my life, either. Just give it to someone else if you get it back. You’re the guardian now, right? Pick someone new.”

“That would break Marinette’s heart,” Nino says softly. Adrien asks the bartender for anything raspberry flavored.

“Holy shit. You _were_ at Master Fu’s funeral!” Nino exclaims with realization. Adrien almost laughs.

“I handed you the box of enchanted jewelry myself, didn’t I? Everyone mad the kitten didn’t show up but I’m the only one of us who had a real civilian connection to him. He was _living_ with me before moving to the hospital,” Adrien laughs lightly, “Adrien had to be there.”

“Shit. Sorry. I knew it was weird when you gave me the box. Like, this guy I haven’t seen since we were kids just shows up like that? Wild.”

“Nino… I’m sorry. I couldn’t get close to anyone. Knowing me puts you… well, puts civilians, in danger. Not only Moth, but I’m inherently dangerous too.”

“We shouldn’t have done that to you,” Nino apologizes.

“They always tell me in therapy not to focus on any ‘what ifs’ or ‘could have beens,” Adrien suggests, graciously taking his new raspberry martini from the bartender. He smiles to himself about the secret agent thing.

 

“So Nino… where is Alya, anyway?” Adrien changes the subject. 

“Pregnant,” Nino’s face lights up immediately.

“What? Congratulations, man,” Adrien laughs, clinking his martini glass against Nino’s beer, “First one?”

“Yup. We even planned it, much to everybody’s surprise,” Nino chuckles.

“How long until we have to de-akumatize baby Nino after a cranky day?”

“She’s six months now, so not long,” Nino laughs at it. Adrien nods his head.

“She told Mari two weeks before she even told me. Like I’m a second-class citizen!” Nino complains next.

“I can see how Alya kept that a secret for so long, but Marinette?”

“I know! Turns out she was sewing baby clothes in secret,” Nino grins, “Confiscated the necklace from Alya, too. I don’t even know where it is.”

“Bugster likes to have _something_ to be in charge of in situations she has no control over,” Adrien chuckles. Nino furrows his brow.

“The two of you… _now_ … and like this… what are you doing?” he shakes his head. Adrien shrugs. 

“I didn’t do it on purpose. She likes Adrien, and I love her no matter who I am,” he smirks uncertainly. Nino nods his head slowly and then changes the subject. They catch up over the next few hours. Adrien is glad to have someone to talk to about everything. It cheers him up until he’s alone again. He swings by a food mart and a package store on his way home.

 

* * *

 

"I really don't wanna be akumatized right now," Adrien has captured the butterfly in a jar. He was just in the middle of putting on _Tonight or Never_ to watch and then there was a butterfly, nothing he can do but try to catch it. Of course he had to dump out a whole jar of perfectly good olives to do so and he knew that butterflies could phase through matter like kwamis, but he had done it anyway. There was literally nothing else he could do and it seemed to be working. Ladybug silently opens the jar and catches the akuma with her yoyo. 

"He will probably senda bunch and I was dumb and got drunk. I'm so sorry, doodlebug. I didn'n think about this at all," Adrien wipes roughly at his face with his hands. He should have known that his father would rub salt in the wound the second he recovered enough strength to so.

"You said you couldn't be akumatized, right? Why would you suddenly be afraid of it?"

"I don't wanna fight you," Adrien swallows. It's not a lie, but it certainly isn't the truth. Ladybug smiles gently.

"I'm sorry for leaving you alone so much today-"

"Iss fine, doodle! I know you have things you gotta do. I'm a grown up I'm good on my own." 

"I'm looking for Chat Noir," Ladybug tells him.

"Oh…" Adrien looks away, afraid he'll give away too much on his face. Adrien wouldn't know that Chat had spent the afternoon with Carapace. Maybe Ladybug didn’t know yet, either.

"Are you jealous?" Ladybug asks, sounding a little bit like she was teasing. Adrien chances a glance at her and she is grinning.

"Should I be?" is his instinctive response. But Ladybug's face falters and it gives him some sort of rush.

"Perhaps," is the chuckle. Adrien swallows. He pours himself some whiskey and digs out some ice for it.

 

"I don't… I don't want to use you, Adrien. But I am probably going to need your help," she watches him carefully as she says it.

“I’ll help you but I don’t think you should be doing anything that you need my help with. Just give up on it. Give catboy a different animal if you need him that much,” Adrien knows he’d refuse since he already has, but this was part of his cover, “You’re not going to win Chat Noir back from my father now that he has it.”

“Why are you so sure?” Ladybug frowns at him, “You keep saying that we can’t beat him. You don’t believe in Ladybug and Chat Noir?”

“It’s not that,” Adrien sighs into his whiskey. He doesn’t want to argue. He already feels terrible enough. He just wants to watch Anna Karina make funny faces in a stupid old movie and not think about anything.

“You have to have hope, Adrien. Chat and I are going to beat him for good one day, I promise.”

“You can tell yourself that, but it’s not happening. Hawk Moth will kill us all if he thinks he’s losing. It’s not worth the risk. With catboy or without.”

“You’re scared of him,” Ladybug whispers. Adrien feels guilty again. She was doing so much for his sake. But he had to be realistic and put everyone’s safety first. It was a sacrifice he had been making his whole life. That was part of being a hero, too.

“Chat Noir wouldn’t want you risking your life just so he can be a part-time superhero.”

“Chat wouldn’t give up.”

“Chat wouldn’t be able to live with himself if anything happened to you because of him,” Adrien knows he shouldn’t say it this way but he would never again have to opportunity to tell her that as Chat. This seems to stun Ladybug a little bit. He takes another sip, anxiously anticipating her reaction. Was she going to scold him? Yell? Punish him somehow?

 

“Well, I really meant for this conversation to go a different way…” she shakes her head, chuckling. Figures. He was the only one who could throw her off. The laugh seems to stress Adrien out even more, she can see it happen on his face. It was sweet that he was so worried about her, but she was a superhero and she had a job to do. Adrien tips his whole glass back, downing whatever he had left in his glass in a second with a practiced ease. He shrugs off his suit jacket and his vest. He musses up his hair and walks away from her. Ladybug follows slowly, confused about why he stopped talking to her. Adrien was wearing a gun. He _was_ scared. _Anyone that had been abducted like that would be…_

“Adrien…”

“I’ll help you. I have diagrams and blueprints of the mansion and the offices. He’s had a decade to beef up security, through. I think you have the best chance getting close to him as MDC but you will only be able to do that once. He is probably keeping the ring in the safest place he has, it’s going to be impossible. You won’t be able to send in a kwami, he’s been experimenting on Nooroo and Duusu. I’d bet he’s figured out how to trap them or something by now,” Adrien rambles. Ladybug is surprised. For someone who had been so drunk ten minutes ago, he seemed sharp and practiced. He could pull it together if he needed to. Like Chat could if things were serious. Adrien had gotten a key out of a box and unlocked a filing cabinet. He gestured at it vaguely.

“Thank you, Adrien. I just… what I wanted to do was offer you was the power to protect yourself. So that you can help me. As a hero,” Ladybug smiles. Adrien stares at her in a mute shock.

 

“What?” he breathes, a faint memory of every other time he’s fused with kwamis who weren’t Plagg dancing at his subconscious.

“I need someone that can fill Chat’s place until I can get him back,” Ladybug says, “The other heroes… they have lives. I might end up being alone. Your schedule is flexible. Your body is… you’re trained. You have experience in fencing and hand-to-hand combat. You know Hawk Moth better than most. I could use your help.”

“No,” he shakes his head. He had expected this from Carapace, but not from Ladybug. She’s already fiddling with the little delivery box.

“Are you sure?” she blinks.

“I’m sure. I don’ even wanna know which one you think you wanted to give me.”

“Dragon,” Ladybug says quietly. Adrien laughs.

“Kagami would be _super_ offended.”

“You knew?”

“She was almost my wife, of course I knew. You can’t hide that stuff from the...” _the people that you love_. Adrien felt a fresh wave of guilt. He was hiding it. That exact thing. Ladybug bites her bottom lip.

“Would you take fox? It’s mostly non-combat.”

“I don’t wanna take any of them, Bugster,” he mentally berates himself for using that nickname as Adrien again and he forces himself to keep talking to distract Ladybug from it, “I can’t fight. I won't."

 

When it came to his father, everything about Adrien that Ladybug had come to know and love- his unapologetic honesty about who he was and his feelings, his humor and sass, his enthusiasm for experiences and eagerness to satisfy the expectations of others- all of that slid away completely. It was like he was two different people, and the one she was looking at now was the one that had been drowned by Gabriel Agreste. This Adrien was the one who apologized too quickly and messes up his hair like his whole head hurts and can summon akumas at will. His eyes reflect his pain and his hands wring with anxiety. Adrien was right. He couldn’t fight. He would be strong but dangerous, risky. It had been wrong to even ask him.

“I’m sorry, Adrien. It was insensitive to ask this of you,” Ladybug apologizes. She just wants to hug him.

“No. I’m glad that you trust me,” he sighs.

“I have to admit I’m not as good at picking holders as Carapace or Chat. My track record is kind of terrible.”

“You should pick some preteens,” Adrien jokes, “They’ve got nothing holding them back and they have longevity.”

“That _has_ been proven to be an effective strategy,” Ladybug giggles.

 

* * *

 

“Done with the files already?” Adrien blinks. He’s not wearing his glasses anymore, he’s just cocooned himself on the couch with cushions and blankets. _Tonight or Never_ was nearing its end and Adrien had been thinking about what he should watch next. He kind of wanted to keep his secret agent theme going and do _OSS117_. 

“I need a break from that for a while… do you mind if I stay over?” Ladybug asks softly.

“Please stay!” he nods, pleased about her question.

“Can I work on some stuff? I only dropped by my office today, so there’s-”

“It’s fine,” Adrien nods quickly. Ladybug transforms into Marinette with a quiet grace. She has a large purse with her ( _How does that work?_ ) that she roots around in as she sits on the floor. Adrien watches her produce a tablet and a sketchbook and a cell phone. She sets up at his coffee table as the film’s credits start to play. Marinette has on a loose pink patterned dress ( _Dolce and Gabbana?_ ) and a nondescript black blazer ( _definitely her own- MDC_ ). Her hair hangs loose but she ties it back as she gets to work. Adrien pulls himself out of his reverie and busies himself with finding a new film to put on. He picks _Delicatessen_ , pours wine for the both of them, strips off most of the rest of his clothing and bundles himself back up in the couch cave he’s created. Marinette’s pencil scratching, the soft rustle of her sleeves, and quiet reactionary hums come through clearer to him than the movie does. She’s comforting. He’s glad for her presence and he fixates on it. It’s nice to have someone just to occupy the same space as him. He wanted to drown in film and in the fact that the woman of his dreams was here with him. _Delicatessen_ is replaced by _Kiki’s Delivery Service_ , and then _Le Samourai_. Adrien eventually realizes that Marinette has fallen asleep and he carries her to his bed and tucks her in.

 

* * *

 

“Why are you so good at this?” Marinette practically yells at him in frustration, having finally seen the 60 point word Adrien played in their word scramble game. Adrien laughs. He’s been waiting for her to wake up and open the app for almost two hours and the payoff was worth it.

“I had no childhood, only studying,” he grins brightly.

“This is not fair. That’s a medical term! It’s in _English_!” she gripes.

“The apps says it’s legal, doodlebug,” he’s laughing even harder.

“If people only knew what kind of brain was being wasted behind that fake ‘I’m stupid’ grin of yours,” Marinette points a finger at him in a playful rage.

“You think my smile is stupid?” he pulls a sad face and then immediately gets rid of it, knowing that reaction was too much like Chat. Marinette doesn’t notice, she takes his sudden shift to have a totally different meaning.

“Hey, I love your smile and it’s not stupid. You’re not stupid, either. You’re crazy smart. You aren’t wasting anything,” she needlessly assures. It still makes Adrien feel nice.

“And I love your smile and I love you,” he grins, “even if you don’t know any fancy English words.”

Marinette blushes. He capitalizes on it with an experienced ease, tilting her face up into a kiss.

 

“Good morning, Ladybug,” he says tenderly. Marinette smiles happily.

“Good morning, Adrien,” is her reply. His heart pangs. He wants her to call him by his hero name too, or one of his nicknames. He wants it _so badly_. Adrien draws away, watching Marinette’s face. He can’t find the courage to do it.

“Are you going into work today? It’s the weekend,” he whispers, “We can spend the day together.”

“I have to look at some apartments later…”

“Just live here,” Adrien wraps his palms around Marinette’s waist, “With me.”

“I’ll think about that,” she smiles into his shoulder.

“Let’s go to breakfast, doodle. Then there’s a place I want to show you,” Adrien appeals, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Marinette’s hands slide up his hips and to his shoulders.

“I don’t have a disguise to wear.”

“I have plenty.”

“Can I use your shower?”

“You _can_ , but do you have to right now?” he grins. Marinette (Ladybug!) giggles. Adrien kisses her again.

 

* * *

 

“This is incredible,” Ladybug turns to Adrien with a huge smile. He looks pretty pleased with himself.

“I figured you’d never had enough time to come to Puces des Vanves on your own,” Adrien picks up a plaster cat statuette. Its strange and weird and he grins to himself about it, Marinette watches his face fill with amusement. The flea market was full of weird things, art, and old furniture. Marinette felt like she wanted to buy everything, but it was Adrien who seems really delighted with some of the objects. It was obvious he wasn’t unfamiliar with the weekend popup but he hadn’t bought anything yet either.

“I usually sleep in on weekends,” Ladybug shrugs, but truthfully she had never thought about going to sift through street vendors like this. It was fairly crowded and people obviously recognized who they were, but they had mostly been left alone. She was disguised in Adrien’s wardrobe, a Jagged Stone tshirt and a leather jacket, a hat, sunglasses, and jeans that fit her like she was three years old and wanted to try on her parents’ stuff. She had stuffed her hair up under the hat. Adrien was in a polo and sunglasses, also with jeans. Still pretty recognizable. Still _pretty_.

"I gotta take my entertainment whenever and wherever I can get it," he smirks, setting the statue back down and moving along to the next table.

"You're not going to buy that?" Ladybug asks. He glances back at it, now the cat had been picked up by an old gentleman.

 

"Antiques are like… stuff that's been loved. Like this plate. Somebody had this up on their wall and it was part of somebody's life. It's old but it was taken care of so well that it is still here, and it deserves to go to a home where it will be given that same amount of respect. I like imagining the lives of things, sometimes I just like the things, but it's really… like think about the little old lady who had this plate hanging up on her wall! The room was probably super ugly and all her furniture was old and in floral fabrics and she only wore dresses. She doesn't like to cook and has one son who went into a very boring profession and doesn't live with her. I bet she had cats," Adrien seems so vivid, his whole body animated as he explains to her. She's touched. The model has a sincerity, a depth of caring so much about others. A loneliness that allows him to fantasize and romanticize the mundane lives of other people like this. He sees how precious life is.

"What is it with you and cats?" Ladybug giggles instead of voicing how much in love with him she is. Adrien sets the decorative floral plate back on the table.

"Boiled down? They look cool. They're autonomous. I like the tails," he shrugs, a satisfied smirk on his beautiful face.

"Chat likes the tails, too," she laughs, "Here, tell me about who owned this."

"That's real silver, so originally somebody rich… but maybe it was stolen or sold and it belonged to this bloke that just really liked candles, like super into all that metaphysical stuff and had a meditation room," Adrien is happy to make something up for her, "Here, now you try. Tell me about…. This!"

 

* * *

 

Adrien can't help but to freeze when he catches sight of the news stand peeking through the flea market booths. He had forgotten about the gossip rags, he always did. He always made a conscious effort for the rumors not to bother him, at least since the Kagami scandal, but bringing in _Ladybug_ as collateral damage was really frustrating. Ladybug mumbles something small and slowly approaches the display. He has to do something.

"Don't let it bother you, Doodle. They'll trash talk anyone to make themselves feel better," he whispers to her, hoping it's a comfort. It will probably be worse when they are not just criticizing her for letting her boyfriend get abducted, but for letting Chat Noir be defeated as well. It's not going to take long for word to get out about that  Adrien knows this is what she's thinking, because she has been blaming herself. He's been blaming himself too, but he is _actually_ to blame.

"Dating a celebrity is really complicated," she shakes her head and turns away from the stand.

"You're telling me," he laughs, folding his fingers in with hers and pressing their palms together. He pulls her to the next antique stall, filled with lamps. Ladybug gushes over how interesting the designs are, or the colors, or that she wonders what this one will look like lit up. She seems so strong and Adrien knows that she is being strong for him. He lays on as many bad jokes and lamp puns as he can to cheer her up. Adrien will do anything to make her happy, even if it's just for a moment.

 “I’ll have to come shopping here again once I’ve moved,” Ladybug comments, obviously having found a lamp she particularly liked.

“I don’t think I need any more lamps, though,” Adrien sighs dramatically.

“You’re right, a secret lair should be dark and gloomy,” Ladybug frowns, playing along.

“Yeah, my place is already too bright to be a lair. What you should be shopping for is a superhero headquarters. I can have my guys ask around to see if there are any caves available.”

“Caves? In Paris? Catacombs, maybe.”

“You’re not Moth,” Adrien laughs, but at the mention of her nemesis, Ladybug’s face falls again.

 

“These lamps have really brightened my day but I think we need to cast some light on those toys. I think I see a cat,” Adrien’s eyes sparkle as he ushers her to the stall across the sidewalk from the lamps. 

“You are going to give Chat Noir a run for his money in the pun department,” she can’t stop herself from rolling her eyes, but Adrien doesn’t see it, “You’d be a great duo act.”

“Oh I bet that we would,” is Adrien’s sarcastic answer. Ladybug can never really tell if Adrien actually likes her partner or not. He says that he does, but he always acted in a way that implied that he didn’t. Chat _had_ punched Adrien Agreste in a strip club as his civilian self, so maybe they were too alike to get along.

“If I find him I want you to meet,” she tells him resolutely.

“You’ll find him, but are you sure he won’t be jealous?”

“He’s grown up a lot since we were kids. He’s much more mature than he seems. I think Chat’s usually just happy that I’m happy.”

“I know that I would be if I were in his shoes,” Adrien says without looking at her. He is busying himself with winding up an antique car like he doesn’t want to participate in the conversation. Adrien had to be jealous of Chat, that was the only explanation. _It’s not like he doesn’t have reason to be jealous._ Adrien sets the car down and it propels itself into a stuffed rabbit and he quietly cheers. They high-five.

“Love doesn’t have to be the romantic kind, so…” Ladybug doesn’t really know what she’s trying to say. Adrien’s forehead creases.

“Lady, I am the last person that can judge or get jealous, I’ve slept with like half of Paris, apparently. So I have a lot of experience on both sides of that coin. I don’t feel possessive, I trust you. I think that Chat Noir trusts you too and I would love to meet him,” Adrien says while walking. It’s sweet and it makes Ladybug’s heart swell but she can still tell that her boyfriend is off somehow. He was being truthful, but in a way he felt guilty about. _Or sad. That’s it. He looks sad. Why?_

 

“Someone _made_ this,” Adrien picks up a blanket in awe.

“Quilts are difficult,” Ladybug nods her head in agreement. The greens and pinks were old and faded and her eyes immediately pick out the stains and the spots where repairs have been made, “It’s well-loved.”

“I bet,” Adrien smiles as he folds the blanket back together, “A whole family cherished it.”

“Looks that way,” Ladybug doesn’t point out the fact that no matter how cherished, it was still for sale now at a weekend flea market. Adrien seemed too happy to imagine some happy family much unlike his own abusing a quilt. He obviously wanted that for himself. This was why he liked the market, he could live vicariously through the objects here. It could be why he loved movies, aside from the fact that his mother had been a famous actress. 

“You like stories,” Ladybug finds herself smiling at him, thrusting her hands in the pockets of Adrien’s leather jacket.

“Yeah,” he blushes, smoothing out the top of the blanket before moving on. Ladybug had really expected him to purchase it. He was amazing and she loved him. And an akuma alert goes off on her yoyo compact.


	19. Chapter 19

Ladybug even came up with some Chat Noir-like crack to yell at Hawk Moth through the akuma once she got there, but she didn’t get to use it. It wasn't an akuma. It definitely, certainly, beyond a shadow of a doubt, was not an akuma. It was a fucking heartbreak.

“Who the  _ hell  _ do you think you are?” Ladybug can’t stop herself. She doesn't wait for backup. She doesn't hide to create a strategy first. She’s  _ angry _ . The audacity. It felt sacreligious. It was a ruse to fill her with rage and it was a damn good ruse. The man Hawk Moth sent to use the Miraculous of the Cat was big. Obviously a hired fighter. The kind of baddie in an action flick that has a scar on his face and that takes hits and just keeps getting back up. The one that critically injures the hero in some way before they have to face the boss. His costume was significantly different from Chat Noir’s, he was a black lion- mane and all. Fangs extruded from the bottom of his face mask over his mouth. The baton was traded in for twin sickles. Not a hint of the lime green, just all black like a void.

“I’m the guy that’s going to finally beat you, Ladybug,” his voice is predictable, deep and raspy. Ladybug knew Chat Noir would make fun of it if he were here. If he could be here. If this Black Lion’s existence wasn’t the whole reason for Chat Noir’s absence.

“You’re not that special,” Ladybug hisses.

“Come and meet your match, Spots,” Black Lion goads as he slips into an attacking stance. A deep fury wells up in Ladybug’s chest and she leaps at him.

 

“The akuma’s using Chat Noir’s power?” the voices of the people around Adrien are being processed somewhere in his brain, somehow. They come through like a grainy radio broadcast from the room next door. He’s fixated on the livestream on his phone. Ladybug was fighting the akuma alone, just like she said that she would be. Only this  _ wasn’t _ an akuma at all. It was Plagg. Adrien couldn’t make out the details but he didn’t need to. Was his father  _ trying _ to torment him? A heavy anxiety coupled with helplessness settles into Adrien as he watches the fight. It drags. Adrien’s phone runs out of juice and he rushes frantically down the street to find somewhere with a television.

“Ladybug’s been off her game since getting a boyfriend,” he overhears. He feels like it was said  _ just for him _ to hear. It wasn’t Ladybug’s fault. It was his! He was supposed to be helping her. He wanted nothing more than to help her. Adrien mentally punches himself over declining the Dragon Miraculous the night before. Anything would have been better than have to watch this from the sidelines. He finds a screen showing the fight and stands in front of it, rapt. Time ticks by and the more hits Ladybug takes, the worse he feels. It’s an hour, and then an hour and a half. It seems like it could go on all day, holding Paris hostage like this. That is until the new Chat Noir destroys the neighborhood. Adrien can feel the familiar tremble of cataclysm in the earth from where he is, so far out from the city center. A whole Quarter in Paris, gone. Adrien’s hands shake. They don’t stop shaking when the wave of pink butterflies repair the damage, no matter how relieved he is. He is still shaking when he gets home and plugs in his phone.

“I’m okay but I have to go. I don’t know how long Black Lion needs to recharge or if he’s going to attack again today. Please stay safe,” was the voicemail from the heroine. It does nothing to relieve his anxiety and guilt.

 

* * *

 

Adrien’s got a neon-painted woman on his shoulders and a bottle of… probably champagne, Ladybug can’t really tell in the darkness- in his hand. He looks really happy. Someone calls out her name in surprise and a bunch of the dancers in the VIP loft stop to look at her and Adrien’s face breaks into a larger happy grin once he catches on and sees her too. He waves his arms wildly in greeting, splashing some champagne and nearly dropping his shoulder-rider. He enlists the help of another guy to get her down before clambering over to Ladybug. She crosses her arms over her chest. 

“Ladyboogle!”  _ Yeah he’s drunk. _ “What are you doing here?”

“Time to get you home,” she shakes her head at him. Alya had texted her about this incessantly. ‘At least it would be a little distraction from Black Lion’ and ‘get you some! relax!’ her best friend had encouraged. Followed up by a ‘better get yo man before he fucks one of these hot chicks’ which had actually been a little bit more motivating than the other reasons were. Adrien wasn’t going to cheat on her but there was no reason for him to be getting cross-faded in a club like this anymore, he did obviously need her help.

“Noooooo it’s still earlyyyyy!” he whines at her cutely. Ladybug bites her lip. She loves it. He’s adorable. But it’s not healthy.

“It’s two in the morning,” Ladybug points out. Adrien frowns at looks at his wrist like he was supposed to be wearing a watch. He curses and reaches to his back pocket in his pants and then curses again.

“Ready to go?” Ladybug takes the bottle of champagne from Adrien and sets it down on the nearest surface. Adrien pouts and nods his head.

 

He pukes the second Ladybug releases him in his penthouse. She should have known better than to take him swinging around Paris like this. Ladybug looks around, trying to decide if she should clean up after him or if she should leave it for him to deal with tomorrow. There are some bottles of alcohol scattered across his kitchen and his television was playing more anime, like he had just left in the middle of it to go dancing for some reason.

“I’ll clean it,” he grumbles, holding his head.

“I was under the impression you wanted to stop doing this. Do you need some kind of help with it?” she offers quietly. She doesn’t really know what to do or say but she couldn’t keep letting it go unsaid.

“Yeah I… it’s… I just don’t wanna feel anythin’ right now?” Adrien mumbles and then looks up at her, “Wait. I didnn’ mean that. It’s not what I meant. I do want to feel about you, it’s just like… everything else? It’s uh… do you hate me now?” he swallows.

“I don’t hate you!” Ladybug insists quickly, “Adrien… What’s going on? Was it getting kidnapped? And then I left you today-”

“N-No. Not really. Kind of. I dunno. It’s just me, I think? It’s me,” he shakes his head, “I just… I’ll tryta stop drinkin’ tomorrow.”

“Adrien…”

 

* * *

 

Adrien did try. He was always surprised about how hard it was, like an unshakable need. He goes to group and they are fairly encouraging despite his quite advanced failure. He buys himself another phone and loads up all his settings from the cloud. He was on his way to jeweler, thinking he should get that black and gold Bvlgari watch he saw last time instead of another Rolex when he spots a butterfly. Adrien freezes completely. He didn’t think he had been particularly distressed, but his father was probably just trying to target him. Why not just send Black Lion out again? Adrein takes a deep breath, trying to clear his mind. 

“Fuck off, okay?” he grumbles at the bug, and it does. Straight into a nearby pedestrian’s phone. Always the phone. Adrien watches helplessly as they fall into a trance and then transform into some sort of lightning-themed villain. He can’t let this happen. He wasn’t just going to let akumas run rampant just because his father felt like he was winning. He couldn’t let Hawk Moth have the  _ satisfaction _ .

“Hey spark plug, what’s your deal?” Adrien taunts. The akuma turns to screech at him, electricity sparkling between their fingers. Adrien pulls out his gun. He won’t shoot them, and Hawk Moth knows that Adrien won’t shoot them, but the akuma victim doesn’t necessarily know that. It’s a gamble. Everything is always a gamble. The lightning thief seems to be having an internal debate with Hawk Moth about it, so it seems to have worked. And it works just long enough for Ladybug to arrive, swinging a kick straight to the akuma’s head. She must be on high-alert because of Black Lion, showing up so quickly like this.

 

On the rebound swing, Ladybug snatches Adrien up off the sidewalk and deposits him behind a bus stop.

“Adrien! What are you doing?”

“Butter has the phone?” he offers.

“Pointing a  _ gun _ at an  _ innocent person _ ?” she chides, peering around the side of the bus stop to make sure that the akuma is still out of commission. 

“I, uh…” it  _ was _ the kind of thing that was difficult to justify once the moment has passed.

“Next time you see an akuma, you run!” Ladybug snaps at him. It feels familiar.

“Yeah, I just… it was supposed to be me.”

“Are you okay?” Ladybug visibly softens.

“Akuma first,” Adrien holsters his gun and looks around. Maybe he can find a stick or a pole or something.

“You  _ cannot _ defend yourself! You need to get somewhere safe! Do you  _ want _ to get electrocuted?” Ladybug is irate now. Adrien shrugs his shoulders in submission. He didn’t want to argue. He didn’t want her to be mad at him, especially as Adrien.

 

They don’t have time to discuss it more anyway, as a bolt of electricity blasts the bus stop clear into the sky. Ladybug grabs Adrien out of the way just in time and they roll together into the street.

“Shit,” Ladybug huffs, pinning Adrien down on the block pavers below them. He doesn’t notice how uncomfortable the stones are because Ladybug is on top of him, her body positioned in a clear protection. She was trying to cover him. Her head whips around in desperate search of the akuma, anticipating an attack. Adrien’s pulse rushes through him with conflicting emotions. He’s so touched. He feels so guilty.

“Careful!” Ladybug cradles his head into her chest protectively and he swallows.  _ Ladybug! _ He hears the volts crackle around them but they haven’t been hit.

“You’ve got to run, can you run?” Ladybug asks.

“Yeah.”

“Good. Go now! Lucky Charm!” 

It's a full watering can. It still takes Ladybug an extreme amount of effort to win, even though the fight itself doesn't last very long.

 

* * *

 

Another day goes by without another Black Lion attack. And then another. Only akumas. Adrien spends this time either getting as high as he can or sleeping off said highs. When he wakes up on the third day of this to a note from Ladybug stuck on his bathroom mirror (‘missed you again! Be safe!’), he decides he has to take a more direct action. He has to take back everything he said and ask for a Miraculous.  He couldn't keep drugging or killing his emotions to avoid akumas. He couldn't keep watching Ladybug struggle with the akumas that  _ were  _ happening without help. Adrien pulls himself together as best as he can and he calls Ladybug from his Chat Noir phone after a pep-talk from an imagined version of Plagg.

“Chat?” her voice is quick, anxious.

“Hey Bugster.”

“Are you okay?”

“I want a temporary Miraculous and we need to talk. There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Alright. Noon, Eiffel?”

“I can’t transform anymore, Lady,” Adrien points out. There’s no way he’s getting to their spot on the tower without a super suit. 

“Oh,” there’s a pause, “Library.”

“That’s doable. I just… listen… I want you to know that I… I’m really scared about you knowing who I am.”

“I don’t have to look,” she says gently. Adrien appreciates the offer.

“I have to tell you, you have to look. Promise me that you won’t run away.”

“I would never run away, kitty.”

“I’m afraid it will ruin us and that this time we won’t be able to come back from it,” he’s being as honest as he can be while he knows that he still has her ear.

“Chaton…”

“I would never lie to you, Ladybug. I would never try to hurt you. Do you believe me?”

“Of course I believe you.” Adrien can hear the suspicion in her voice.

“Please remember that, okay? I’ll see you at noon.”

 

* * *

 

Marinette has to mentally prepare herself anew every time she steps into view of a new aisle in the religions section. She was going to meet Chat Noir. Really  _ meet _ him. For the first time. And he was going to meet her! As Marinette! 

So she is stunned to find her  _ boyfriend _ instead. Adrien was sitting on the floor in Eastern Spirituality, a modest stack of manga piled next to him. He looks up to meet her eyes before she can even announce her presence.  _ Oh no. _

"Adrien? What are you doing here?" Marinette laughs in nervous surprise. Adrien swallows, closing his comic book.  _ Is this happening? _

"I am here because I am Chat Noir," he says.

_ What? _

"Adrien-"

"I'm Chat Noir. I've always been Chat Noir," he says it again. Twice, even!

"Is this a joke?" Marinette hears herself ask it because they both would prank her, but she knows that it isn't a joke because neither of them would joke about this. She knows it's true from the way that Adrien had been expecting her, from the way he doesn't even stand up. She knows from the way that they are both the sun in a nebula of dimmer stars and the way they both make her feel like she is the universe to them. She knows his laughter and his sorrow and it makes sense. He matches up like double vision coming into focus. She can see the parallels with lucidity now.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers, his face warping into the beginnings of despair. Marinette feels her own heart break at it.

"No, kitten. I'm sorry. I should have let this happen years ago," Marinette finds the strength within herself to not lose her mind. She sits on the floor across from Adrien. She promised him that she wouldn't run away, that she wouldn't abandon him. She had to stay and soothe his guilt and anxiety and be everything that he knew her to be. She was resolute in it.

"I'm… glad it happened now so that I had that time to be with you," he says bashfully, but with sadness. Regret. Marinette was feeling a lot of regret, too. 

 

"We have plenty of time ahead of us to still be together," Marinette leans over to take his hands in hers. Adrien knows he's shaking and she looks surprised to find that out.

"B-but-"

"I was the one that forbid you from revealing yourself to me originally. I have no right to be angry about falling for you as a civilian, and I'm not angry. It's okay, Adrien. I love you," she keeps eye contact. Adrien knows that it is meant to put him at ease and resolve all of his worries about this reveal, but he can't convince himself. Marinette frowns and pulls him into a tight embrace. Adrien melts into it, balling his hands into the fabric of her blouse. It takes everything he has to keep from crying.

"You don't have to be afraid anymore, Chat," her voice is soft in his ear.

"Lady, I'm so sorry about lying," he breathes, "I wasn't trying to trick you."

"No, you've always been your most honest self with me, I just didn't see it. I'm so sorry you had to suffer like this alone."

"I thought you would hate me if you knew. I thought it was okay to keep it a secret for my whole life and to never transform again, but I can't. I can't stand to watch you fight without me and that guy  _ killed people _ and I have to do something and I am so scared that you're going to get hurt I can't stand it," he blabbers, nearly nonsensically, "if you're mad at me for losing the ring I get it, I don't deserve to be a holder. I can't do anything right ever. All of this is my fault and if something terrible happens it's on me."

"Shh… Chat Noir, you are the best hero out of all of us and I wouldn't want anyone else fighting at my side. Losing the ring is not your fault and what they do with it isn't your fault either. I know it hurts watching your power be used for evil. But are you sure that you want to fight… that you can fight?"

"I  _ have _ to. That's why I called," he swallows, “I’ll give you up if it keeps you safe.”

"You are always sacrificing. You don't have to do that anymore, Adrien. We will keep each other safe. Here. I thought about giving you Ladybug but I know you won't take it. So I brought you the Miraculous of the Tiger. I thought it would be the most comfortable for you," she presses the elaborate hand bracelet into his palm. It is all he can do to nod his head in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I will definitely move in with you," Marinette speaks up, breaking the silence they had fallen into in order to process.  
> "Anytime. My window's open," Adrien smirks.  
> "I should have bought that lamp," Marinette sighs. Adrien starts to laugh and cannot stop. It's the best he's felt in days. Months. Years. Or maybe his whole life.


	20. Chapter 20

He’s refashioned the mess of bangle and chains and rings into a manageable keychain, and Adrien knows he just has to pray that he doesn’t lose the Miraculous (and now by extension, his keys) somewhere. Nothing about it was comfortable like Ladybug had predicted. Maybe the only comfortable part was having a tail. At least there was a tail, but it’s really difficult being pink. No matter how many times Roaar insists that it’s ‘magenta’, Adrien knows better. It’s pink. And he was spending a lot of time training. It would have been simpler if the weapon was a stick or a sword of some sort, but a bow and arrow? Adrien had never used anything like that before and it was certainly not coming naturally to him. His body dragged and his arms were sore, like he was discovering muscles that had never been used before. He was getting crazy headaches and felt uncomfortable in himself, but that probably has less to do with the pink kwami or the training and more to do with some kind of withdrawal. The weirdness and newness of everything amplified his discomfort. It was like having to reinvent his whole life, his mindset, his heart and body. His whole life was different than it had been. It had only been a few months since Ladybug. His life was even different than it had been only a few days ago. _How much more change can I take? Is this even good?_

 

Roaar was just as much as a busybody as Tikki was and those two seemed to get along well, but Marinette could tell that the little kwami exhausted Adrien a lot. She had no idea what his relationship had been like with Plagg, but it was obvious he wasn’t used to so much constant meddling in his life. They actually didn’t discuss Plagg at all. Or Chat Noir. Marinette didn’t call him by his hero name and he hadn’t called her by ‘Marinette’ a whole lot, either. It should feel weird to her, but it didn’t. Adrien being her crime-fighting partner filled in so many gaps, all the things about his life that didn’t make sense. Still, it was _a lot_ . _Adrien Agreste_ was Chat Noir. As obvious as it was in retrospect, it was still hard in moments for Marinette to reconcile the two. She would randomly remember moments that would have been easier on the both of them. _If we had known from the start. When we were classmates. What then? Our whole lives would be different. If I had known that he was Chat and that Hawky was his dad, would I have stopped their fight?_

 

"Are you okay, Bugster?" Adrien asks her, cutting bananas for his protein smoothie. _Bugster_ . _He really is Chat._ It had been almost two weeks and it was still weird.

"Your cat stuff is for Plagg, isn't it? That's why I never saw your cat," she says, it had been one of the things bumping around in the back of her mind. The model stills. Marinette regrets saying anything. She knows how she would feel if Tikki were gone.

"He never admits that he likes anything. Maybe he wasn't trying to get attached because he knew this would happen," Adrien sighs, dumping the banana slices into the blender, "I miss him."

"We will get him back," Marinette assures for maybe the hundredth time. He turns on the blender and they are in forced silence for the few seconds that it runs.

"Moth knows that’s what we want. He hasn’t sent out Black Lion again because he knows we have a plan, and he can wait us out,” he says softly before pouring the smoothie mush into a glass, popping five or six ibuprofen, and downing half the glass of protein slosh in one go.

“How do you do that?” Marinette blinks at him. She was sure that if she tried to chug the same thing she would either choke or vomit or die. And it’s not like it was only smoothies, she had been watching him knock back all sorts of liquids or semi-liquids since they met.

“You gotta tilt your head all the way back and open your throat. Like deep-”

“I get it,” Marinette stops him, knowing exactly which comedy direction he was going with that explanation,  “Just… your relationship with food is complicated.”

“No it’s not, I’m super healthy. My diet’s strict, but I’m in charge of it and how my body looks, so…” he pours the rest of the smoothie down his throat in a grand gesture and Marinette gags a little to herself. Adrien thinks it’s hilarious and laughs at her. She laughs too because Adrien’s laughter is infectious. She lets it go. 

 

* * *

 

"I don't know what to say to him, Alya. I'm so bad at talking about this stuff. I know he likes for me to be there but I don’t feel like I’m actually helping at all," Marinette laments.

"Just thinking about how it must be for that guy makes me want to drink too but I can't drink either because of this fucking baby," Alya grumbles.

"Don't say that about it!" Marinette gasps and Alya groans in response.

"It's not like I’m jinxing them or anything."

"Still…"

“Maybe you should read a book or something on how to help him. Or google it. ‘How to support my sexy superhero model millionaire alcoholic boyfriend’ and then do that.”

“ _Really_?” Marinette rolls her eyes and pointedly stuffs her hair products into her suitcase.

“I know I’m not helping but I don’t know what kind of advice to give you. If he’s doing okay, he’s doing okay,” Alya shrugs, “You don’t have to be the person he talks everything out with.”

“It’s just that I want to know about the things that hurt him but I just don’t like seeing him sad. I keep trying to talk to him about things and then I chicken out. Like if I bring up his dad, he just looks _so defeated._ I can’t take it. I’ll let him not talk about it even though I know he needs to talk about it with someone that will make him talk about it and he can’t talk about it with anyone but me because people can’t know who we are or who his dad is,” Marinette felt like she was spiraling a little.

“Do you think his dad beat him? From what he’s told us, there was a whole year where Hawky and Noir lived together and knew the other’s identity.”

“I really don’t want to think about that,” Marinette stares at Alya, horrified at the suggestion.

“Well you really are uncomfortable with the heavy stuff,” Alya nods her head.

“What do I do?” Marinette pleads.

 

“If you really think that’s the right way to help him, you’re going to just have to deal even if you’re uncomfortable,” Alya shrugs like it would be the easiest thing in the world.

“But what am I supposed to say? My brain just freezes up! What if he does say that his dad hurt him? What am I supposed to say back? ‘Oh that’s horrible?’ that doesn’t help at all and it’s not enough.”

“It is enough, though? I don’t think he expects you to be perfect. Maybe it will just be good for him to have someone to listen.”

“What if he says ‘I started drinking because Ladybug ruined my life’ or something?” Marinette isn’t packing her suitcase anymore, she’s just turning circles in the small room.

“I don’t know Adrien… but Chat Noir would never say that to you.”

“He wouldn’t… but I feel like it’s true.”

“Look, you can’t be responsible for other people’s lives. His mistakes are his mistakes and whether or not it was because you guys had issues or whatever, it’s not your responsibility. You can’t blame yourself for him. Especially now that you’re in a relationship. It’s not healthy. You have to stop feeling guilty and you needed to stop feeling guilty the second you apologized.”

“I can’t help it,” Marinette is still pacing and is chewing on her thumbnail now.

“What if you did the serious conversation thing in writing? Like you know how when you text you might erase it a few times before sending the one you send? You can both take your time with what you want to say that way and maybe it will be easier for him to tell you about the hard things.”

“You’re a genius.”

“Yeah I know. You’re welcome, worrywart.”

“What should I write?” Marinette’s thumb-chewing has stopped at least. Alya rolls her eyes.

 

* * *

 

“Did you get all of your things settled?” Martin questions, trying to see what Marinette was working on. A proposal? She had _too many_ ideas, it would be infuriating if he were the type to get jealous about talent.

“Yes. How were the numbers with the numbers guys?”

“Skirts did not do well this year, but everything else is fine,” Martin reports dutifully. He can’t make out her swirly handwriting when it is upside-down to him like this, “What are you working on?”

“Oh… um… it’s personal,” Marinette flushes and this makes Martin _even more_ interested. He reaches over and snaps up the notepad, taking a few swift steps away with it before Marinette is on him and has retrieved it. He’s not sure he has ever seen her move so fast. Normal people wouldn’t be able to move that fast at all, but his boss was not normal.

“It’s very personal,” she squints her eyes at him, holding the notepad to her chest protectively.

“What kind of personal?” this was exactly the kind of shit he loved, and as an added bonus he could tease her, “Is it about your secret fuck buddy?”

“It’s… he’s not that. If I keep him a secret are people going to gossip more about me like that?” Marinette sighs and Martin softens immediately, letting go of all the curiosity he had.

“I don’t think anyone knows you have a secret lover, you’re doing fine at the secret part for now.”

“ _You_ know,” Marinette points out with a smirk.

“Well, I hardly count. I need to know everything about you in order to properly serve,” he straightens his neck with a pompous edge and Marinette smiles, “Your secrets are safe with me.”

“Thank you, Martin.”

 

“Now that that is settled, please let me in on what this is,” Martin gestures at the pad of paper nestled safely in her arms. 

“Still personal,” Marinette is still not ready to share. She didn’t want anything to potentially come out as Adrien two-timing on Ladybug. And she didn’t want her civilian side implicated in that, either. It wouldn’t be good for her or her brand’s reputation. It wasn’t worth the risk to confide in Martin, no matter how much she wanted to. But she was going to have to tell him _something_ eventually.

“I understand,” her assistant seems only slightly disappointed as he pulls up something on his tablet, “So back to work, then.”

“Right,” Marinette makes her way back to her desk, hiding the drafted letter under some reports with graphs and things.

“You wanted me to send several inquiries to Gabriel. They have declined participation in the charity event citing time constraints.”

“That means they accepted for the-”

“No response on the bags, the magazine, or any other requests,” Martin interrupts. Marinette chews on her lip. How was she supposed to get close to Gabriel Agreste if she couldn’t even get his label to cooperate with her on something mundane? She just needed an excuse to see him once, but he was famously reclusive. She knew how paranoid and neurotic he was, and now that she knew why it made more sense. It was definitely currently benefiting him.

 

Marinette pulls up her drawing program and mindlessly doodles some more genderless gowns for Adrien. It had become sort of a ritual for her lately. Marinette had hundreds of files now, a lot of them were terrible or unfinished or only contained a few lines, but there were some pieces she was pretty proud of. She did still want to make them. Marinette sighs. She wasn’t a gown manufacturer. She would have to design some regular clothing as well. She could make it into a whole thing. Marinette was only designing in order to _think_ , and she had to remind herself of that in order to refocus on the body template. She had more problems now than she had before Martin came in to report. She still had to figure out what to say in her letter, which right now was looking like a horrible rambling apologetic mess, she had to figure out what to do and say once people realized MDC wasn’t single, and she had to figure out how to get to Gabriel Agreste so she could potentially defeat him or at least recover the Miraculous of the Cat. It was a lot to deal with, but she always had a lot to deal with. And at least now, no matter what happened with all of that, she had Adrien and they would be there for each other.

 

* * *

 

“You can’t shoot Hawky in the face if you miss,” Carapace comments and it’s probably the most motivating thing Adrien’s ever heard. He turns to look at Nino, who isn’t paying attention at all, just scrolling through his phone. They are in some archery club that Alya found for Adrien to be able to practice without having to be transformed. Nino was being a good bro or something and had joined up with him, and Adrien was very thankful for the company today. It was harder when he came alone, but he was used to being alone.

“If the targets had Moth’s face on them, I wouldn’t miss,” he swears. Nino shrugs.

“Do you just wanna trade in for something else?” is the offer. Adrien smirks. He would like nothing more than a different (less pink) Miraculous. 

“No!” Roaar complains from his gym bag. Nino looks down at Roaar, startled.

“Oh, sorry dude,” he apologizes. Adrien turns away from them and pulls another arrow. It flies past the paper target and skitters to a stop on the ground.

“It’s not golf,” Nino speaks up again and Adrien can’t help but to laugh.

“You’re going to keep roasting me, huh?”

“If you don’t want me to talk shit, get good,” Nino steps up and takes the bow from Adrien. He lands an arrow in the circle next to the center of the target and then celebrates enthusiastically.

“This is really not fair,” Adrien whines.

“It’s called aiming, you should try it!”

 

* * *

 

“Marinette should date Chat Noir. Or um… Tiger. Publically.”

“What are you talking about again?” Adrien is caught extremely off-guard. He's literally just walked in to the penthouse and sat down.

“My cover. Since we are dating and I just moved in today, people are going to realize that I- Marinette me- have a secret boyfriend. And you know how people feel about secrets,” she explains, “So, if someone gets too close I can say that I am dating Chat Noir- that explains all of my secrecy.”

“That’s a good idea,” Adrien nods his head. 

“Of course I am typically more low-key in my relationships and I’m not uber-famous, so I don’t need to be seen anywhere with him or go on television to talk about it…” Marinette grins. Adrien laughs.

“Do it your way and let me know if you need me to back you up.”

“Good!” Marinette nods her head cheerfully.

“What do we do when we wanna get married and have kids?” Adrien asks next. Marinette stares blankly back at him and Adrien realizes the significance of what he’s said and he knows he needs to backtrack and fast, “I was joking. I mean, that’s really far in the future if at all. Sorry. I just-”

“Do you… do you want that stuff?” Marinette cuts him off. Adrien runs his hands through his hair and then down his face.

“In a perfect world, I guess. I don’t really know, it would just depend on the situation. Hey, maybe I can break up with Ladybug and MDC can break up with Chat Noir and Adrien and MDC can get together and Ladybug and Chat Noir can get together and then everyone would be married,” Adrien is satisfied with the giggle that it coaxes out of Marinette. She seems less aghast about the prospect of a future than she had a few seconds ago.

 

“Well if Adrien’s going to break up with me, Ladybug, anyway… I wrote…” Marinette’s heart is racing, “I wrote you a letter about some of my feelings that I just… can’t say to your face.”

“You did?” Adrien looks surprised and she offers the paper to him.

“Please don’t read it right now I am so embarrassed,” Marinette knows that her face is redder than Ladybug’s suit. She had written everything down. From her feelings about Chat Noir and Adrien and them being each other to her insecurities and anxieties and her regrets and her gratitude. She wrote down everything she wished that she could do for him and how much she wanted him to be happy. Happy with her. It was everything she didn't know how to talk about, and it was honest and heartfelt. Marinette had never laid herself so bare for anyone.

“You are talking to the wrong cat,” Adrien’s smile is _so big_ . He flips open the fold and starts to read immediately. Marinette wants to go hide. It was _completely mortifying._ She was regretting writing the letter at all. She should have just texted like Alya’s example. It would have been just the right amount of impersonal enough. Not like this. Adrien finishes reading before Marinette decides on a hiding place or an escape route, but her feet are glued to the floor regardless. _He reads too fast_.

“Lady…” Adrien practically launches himself off of the couch and smothers her in a bear hug, “Thank you.”

“You’re… welcome?” she blinks, the anxiety and embarrassment washing out of her. The letter seems to have been a success.

“I love you. I love you so much,” the tightness of his hug made Marinette briefly see stars.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok yeah you guys I didnt think that Mari dating CN thing through but it’s gon be ok prob like she hasn’t said anything to anybody yet? Gabe would def know she was LB if she dated CN.
> 
> ANYWAY NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM USUAL FOR A MIN

“Adrien!” one of the reporters behind a few of the others calls out to him and he obliges because he has to anyway, “Where’s Ladybug?”

“Ladybug has to protect Paris unfortunately,” Adrien grins, “I can’t take her everywhere, Moth might take advantage, right?”

“Adrien! Adrien! Do you know Ladybug’s identity?”

“I’ve seen her without the mask but I don’t know her name or anything,” he lies some more. Marinette had come up with it. She fed him so many lies to pass along.

“What does she look like?”

“The most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” he winks at the camera. _Somebody somewhere is already making that into a gif._

“What else can you tell us about Ladybug, Adrien?”

“Aw, you guys keep asking about her. Don’t you care about _me_ anymore?” Adrien pouts. It’s an act, but not totally. He never expected to be involved with anyone that was more famous than he was. Kagami was more famous than him now but they had been on equal footing back when they were together. Aside from being a superhero, Ladybug had the added allure of mystery. He was going to be answering questions about her for the rest of his life. It was a good thing there was no one else he’d rather talk about.

“Adrien! Who are you wearing?”

“MDC,” he beams proudly, automatically. 

 

An event assistant ushers him further along the path so that the reporters could get their hands on someone new. Adrien gives his brightest smile to a wall of photographers instead. Boy, he loved Cannes and everything about it. It was his favorite thing every year. Favorite thing. Typically he felt guilty about leaving Ladybug alone in Paris, but he had lied earlier when he said that’s where she was. They came to Cannes Film Fest on a rumor that his father might attend. Adrien had a plane charter ready for if they were wrong and had to book it back north, but Marinette had seemed extremely confident in her information. Adrien faces some more reporters now, but these were the official festival-affiliated ones this time and not the gossip rags, so they actually attempt to ask him about the movies. Adrien earnestly shares what he’s looking forward to seeing this year. Someone asks if he’s seeing Kagami’s movie, and he hadn’t even known she was in one this year. He gets a correction that she’s _directed_ a movie. _How the hell did I miss that?_

“Holy shit, that’s her dream! I’ll absolutely watch it. A hundred times,” he swears and he shares some more laughs with the reporters and is ushered on again. It was a media circus and Adrien loved it, he always did. The movie part of it didn’t even matter to most people (although it did to him), it was just fashion and celebrities and photographs and parties. Everything he thrived in. And it felt good. Better than he had in weeks.

 

Adrien’s an idiot with his big ‘I’m dumb’ grin and his winking and his pouting and his blatant seducing of everyone who could see him. Marinette stews over her phone in the very exclusive (expensive) beachside restaurant overlooking the sea. The weather was gorgeous, the view was gorgeous, everything was gorgeous, and she was looking at her phone (Adrien was gorgeous too). She rarely left Paris. Only for Milan and New York weeks. Nino had never had to find a replacement Ladybug to fight akumas in those times, but now that she knew who Hawk Moth was it made sense that his schedule had coincided with hers. Fashion weeks had never been even remotely vacation-like like this was. She had never been anywhere so tropical. It would be really relaxing if she weren’t here with the sole purpose of killing a man in his seventies.

“I fail to see why we had to travel to Cannes to just look at the clothes online,” Martin sighs.

“Nobody will know but us,” Marinette smirks at him.

“If everyone at home thinks we are having the time of our lives, I am certainly going to do my best to live up to it,” Martin waves down a waiter with an elegant parody of a rich man, “Two pina coladas, please.”

“We are _working_ ,” Marinette sighs dramatically. Martin fixes her with a look even though they both know she was joking.

“This is _not_ ‘working’. We are in paradise and we might as well enjoy it to the fullest. _Especially_ if nobody will know but us,” Martin did have a point. A really good point. And nobody had seen anything related to Gabriel Agreste (besides Adrien) at the festival yet. He definitely wasn’t making a move Day One.

“Maybe if we really dress up the paparazzi will mistake us for a famous couple and stalk us.”

“Speak for yourself, I _am_ famous and I _am_ really dressed up,” Marinette grins as their drinks are delivered.

“Shut up, Miss Wears-Gucci-to-the-Beach.”

 

* * *

 

Adrien goes out to the balcony yet again and looks out across the Boulevard de la Croisette to the sea. Cannes was just a little bay, and it was a view he was familiar with. _Where is Ladybug? I thought she would be here by now._ There was a party happening below at the pool and Adrien desperately wanted to go to it no matter how much of a temptation to drink it would present. He gazes longingly at the revelry, he can almost identify the song the people are jumping to. _Last year I slept with so many people here and this year I’m just in my room totally alone waiting for Ladybug. Whipped._ He felt a nostalgia and a certain amount of FOMO but Adrien didn’t regret his situation now. Not at all.

“If you lean over that railing any further you might fall, Buttercup,” Ladybug’s voice. He turns in time to see her go past into his suite. She had been so quiet!

“I was beginning to think that you forgot about me,” Adrien teases her.

“I couldn’t even if I tried,” Ladybug giggles, “Your room is a thousand times nicer than mine.”

“I’ve been coming for 15 years, I get _some_ perks for loyalty,” Adrien smiles, watching her. He can see from how relaxed she’s moving and the pinkness of the skin on her neck that she’s been drinking. At least a little. He feels slightly jealous about it, unless that’s actually just a sunburn from the beach. Adrien reaches out to press the back of his fingers at her hairline to test the warmth of her skin and Ladybug leans into the touch immediately. She is drunk but he is instantly distracted from how unfair that is by how damn erotic the small sigh that she makes is. He leans further in, gently wrapping his arms around the superhero and laying a kiss at the back of her ear.

“Adrien…”

“I know,” he whispers to her. Hawk Moth wasn’t in Cannes and they didn’t need it said aloud to ruin the moment.

 

Ladybug turns in Adrien’s arms so that she can face him. Adrien offers her a small smile and she internally melts at it. Why did he have to be so _cute_? She presses as much of her body against his as she can.

“You’re cute with your dumb smiling and dumb winking and saying dumb stuff about me,” she mutters and he laughs heartily in response, his eyes squeezing shut and his nose scrunching up.

“I meant what I said about you being beautiful,” he’s still laughing as he says it. 

“Not like _you_ ,” Ladybug sighs, pulling apart his perfect bow tie. Adrien kisses her forehead. Her face tingles from it and she starts on his shirt.

“Careful, Doodlebug. That’s custom MDC,” he whispers, pressing his chin against the side of her head. Everywhere he is touching her burns like fire.

“ _I know,_ ” she tilts her head back and gazes up at him expectantly.

“You’re a horny drunk,” is Adrien’s quiet comment, his expression fond and relaxed. _Rude. That’s rude._

“You,” she frowns, drawing the bow tie fabric straight between her fingers and pressing the strip against his mouth, “shut up.”

Adrien make a small hum of assent in his throat, his fingers gently digging into her back. _I could just…_ Ladybug pushes herself up on her toes, sliding her arms further back, past his shoulders and loops the strip of fabric behind his head and pulls it tight. Adrien’s laughter is muffled and he grins at her, the fabric between his teeth and tight against his cheeks.

“There. I’ve always wanted to gag you, Chat,” she breaks into a grin too. Neither of them miss the sharp intake of air through his nose in response. Ladybug knows she’s rendered him lifeless for a second and she continues her mission to unbutton him completely.

 

_Chat. Finally. Fucking finally._ He stares down at the sea of blue under his chin. She was keeping on as Ladybug and he knew he was completely weak to her like this- especially now that she had removed (kinda) his ability to speak. He knew what it meant that she had said his hero name in a situation like this. It could have just been a joke about him always saying the wrong thing, but it didn’t matter. There was still this huge part of him, and definitely for her too, that was in disbelief that Ladybug had accepted him- him, Chat Noir. After a lifetime of swearing up and down that it would never happen. Here she was. In love with Chat Noir. It felt like a dream he didn’t deserve to have come true. Maybe it wasn’t totally true, since he wasn’t Chat Noir anymore. He could still clearly remember all the number of times that Ladybug screamed about how he wasn’t the man she thought he was and how she would never date him, never in a million years. How she was ashamed to even- Ladybug interrupts his train of thought by derailing the whole train with her lips.

 

* * *

 

“Hey, have you seen anybody say anything about Gabriel?” Marinette asks curiously, innocently. Martin peers at her over his sunglasses. 

“What is it with you and _Le_ Gabriel lately?”

“Nothing, I’m just really curious about what they’re doing with the flash show. I don’t want to miss it.”

“Haven’t heard anything.”

“My friends at Gabriel said they were coming… I just didn’t hear when,” Marinette sighs heavily and pulls herself out of the pool to sit on the edge. Martin sets aside his tablet and sits forward so he’s closer to her. 

“And I just thought we were here to use Adrien Agreste’s body,” he comments. Marinette rolls her eyes. Martin laughs and leans back in his chair.

“We are here for _training_ ,” Marinette reiterates.

“Training my tan,” Martin grins, “What did we even dress Adrien in today?”

“I uh…” Marinette shrugs. She wasn’t sure if she could keep her story straight.

“Oh, he’s rather _undressed_ today, isn’t he?” Martin points out and Marinette’s head whips towards him instantly and then follows his line of sight to _Adrien Agreste._ Wearing nothing but the _bare minimum_ . Marinette swallows. Adrien adjusts his sunglasses- her sunglasses- and struts around, mingling with poolgoers. Taking selfies. Being friendly. In what is a slim excuse for a speedo covering up his junk. Just his arms and his chest and his _calves_ and his… his butt! All just _out there_. For everyone. When it was hers!

“Marinette. We _need_ to get into swimwear.”

“Yeah,” she nods, catching Adrien’s covert wink at her. He knew exactly what he was doing.

 

Adrien steals all of the appreciative glances at his girlfriend that he thinks that he can get away with. He _was_ wearing sunglasses, after all. Prescription ones. Marinette’s bikini was _small_ and she was _dripping wet_ and he wanted nothing more than to go run his hands all over her damp skin and- _whoa need to stop where I’m going with that before I get myself in trouble_. 

“Looking hot, Martin!” Adrien graces the man with a wide grin in greeting. 

“I’m going to tell Ladybug you’re flirting with me,” Martin warns. 

“Yeah, I bet,” Adrien laughs, pushing his sunglasses up to the top of his head and winking at Marinette.

“What’s up MDC?”

“This isn’t even your hotel,” Marinette shakes her head. Adrien looks around the rooftop pool slowly and then back down at her.

“I guess it isn’t,” he shrugs, “But who’s going to stop Adrien Agreste?”

“Ladybug, probably,” Martin speaks up. Marinette has to stifle a laugh.

“Hey man, you jealous?” Adrien teases. Martin pointedly picks up his drink and takes a lazy sip through a straw, not breaking eye contact with Adrien as he does it. Adrien wants to die. In this moment he’s just jealous that Martin’s enjoying some sort of frozen alcoholic mush and is rubbing his face in it. He never could understand what Martin’s deal was. Were they friends? Rivals? Business associates?

“I hope that Ladybug has some _sex friends_ on the side _too_ ,” is what he says.

“Martin!” Marinette hisses and Adrien understands what Martin has meant. He’s accusing Adrien of cheating on Ladybug with Marinette. Probably. Martin did know who Marinette was, so it was anyone’s guess what kind of reaction he was looking for.

“Oh god, I hope she’s sleeping with Chat Noir. That’d be a good threesome. See you guys at the fashion party later?” Adrien glosses over it. Martin’s reaction, unpredictably, is a satisfied smirk. Adrien drops his glasses back onto his nose and moves onto the next group of people that he vaguely recognizes.

 

“What was that?” Marinette scolds. Martin shrugs, reclining back in the pool lounge comfortably. He’d just been interested to see what Adrien would do. They had _definitely_ put on a show for Marinette. However, he _definitely_ hadn’t expected Adrien to _be Chat Noir_. And to outright reveal himself like that so casually was so strange. Martin wasn’t too baffled by this new information, it made sense enough to him. Adrien was an idiot. Chat was an idiot. Same difference.

“Adrien is NOT my sex friend,” Marinette chides. She could be so headstrong. Marin supposes that Marinette is technically within her right to argue the semantics. Adrien wasn’t just her sex friend, he was her boyfriend.

“If he’s not, he should be.”

“Martin!”

“It’s not like I don’t have eyes, you two are so obvious.”

“ _Please_ shut up before someone hears you,” Marinette laments. 

“Only if we go to that party tonight,” he says. He can practically feel the woman’s displeasure radiate off of her. She stands up and retrieves a towel.

“You are a bad influence,” she hisses.

“You’re welcome.”

 

* * *

 

“Marinette? Are you okay? Do you want me to answer your phone for you?” Martin places his hands on her shoulders and Marinette groans, her response incomprehensible. He unceremoniously retrieves her phone from where it was tucked into her bra beneath her dress and answers.

“Thank you for calling MDC. This is Martin, how may I assist you?”

“What?” the voice, “Where’s Mari?”

“She’s… unavailable.”

“No, I need to talk to her immediately. Tell her it’s Nino,” Nino says, “I’m one of her best friends. Just tell her, she’ll know.”

“Marinette, Nino wants to talk,” Martin sits down next to her on the bench, watching the party rage just removed from them.

“Nin… fuck,” Marinette rubs her eyes and goes to stand up.

“Whoa there, girl. You should sit back down,” Martin stops her and turns his attention back to the phone, “We will call you back, sir.”

“No, wai-”

“Nnnn… we have go…” is the low insistence from the more than inebriated designer.

“You’re not in any condition to go anywhere,” Martin assures. A few moments later, some texts come through on Marinette’s phone with instructions. Martin sighs heavily.

“Alright boss, let’s get you to Adrien.”

“Hawky?” Marinette swallows as Martin drags her arm over his shoulders to support her weight.

“I would assume so,” he nods.

 

“Hey can you help me with her?” Martin is who climbs out of the limo and gestures back into it with an open hand. An akumatized Black Lion was disappearing Paris at that very moment and it had taken Marinette too long to get there. Adrien blinks and lifts his sunglasses for a second just to confirm it’s Martin he’s looking at with the extra light. He jogs over to the car.

“She’s drunk,” Martin supplies helpfully, nearly dragging Marinette out of the vehicle, “Guess my vacation gets cut short too, huh?”

“She’ll make it up to you,” Adrien lifts Marinette into his arms, making sure her face is tucked towards his chest to avoid any possible paparazzi before carrying her over to the plane.

“Tiger,” she slurs happily. Adrien’s chest clenches. 

“Are you okay, Doodlebug?” he whispers, climbing the steps as quickly as he could. 

“Real good,” she sighs. Adrien deposits her in a seat and turns to look back at Martin.

“We were at the same party, how did she drink this much?” he accuses. 

“She’s my mentor, not the other way around,” Martin shrugs simply and chooses a seat.

“Get her some water,” Adrien directs as he passes on his way to tell the pilot that they’re ready to leave.

 

* * *

 

“She’s asleep, she’s not going to go anywhere if you don’t look at her for ten seconds,” Martin comments and Adrien glares over at him. Martin’s got the news broadcast going on the cabin’s video screen and it’s horrifying. Half of Paris is gone.

“Someone drugged her,” Adrien tries not to think about the implications. About how many millions of people are already dead. Because they irresponsibly left the city on a hunch. He felt guilty for having as much fun as they had in those two days. Now their city was suffering for it.

“Really? I just thought she drank too much at the party. What do we do?” Martin asks.

“Usually… hospital…”

“But you won’t have time if you have to beat the akuma and she won’t be able to fight.”

“It’s Black Lion. She will have to. Tikki? It’s okay, come out. He knows. Or has known.”

“Maybe you can get someone to stand-in for her,” Martin suggests. It doesn’t sit right with Adrien at all. How dare this guy ask for the Ladybug Miraculous like that. Just because he was Marinette’s friend or assistant or whatever didn’t qualify him for such an important job.

“Nobody else would be powerful enough to correct the amount of damage that Black Lion has already inflicted,” Tikki speaks up and Adrien’s slightly relieved besides the fact that they absolutely had to rely on Marinette now.

“Is there something we can do?” he asks the little red kwami. Tikki shakes her giant head. Adrien pulls out his phone to call Nino. There is predictably no response since he’s busy fighting.

“Where’s Marinette’s phone?” Adrien demands. Martin silently passes it over and Adrien finds Alya’s contact information.

“We’re on our way back but someone roofied MDC. Do you have a way of contacting Carapace? I can’t transform yet because I won’t be able to hold it too long once I’m there,” Adrien explains quickly. Alya curses a lot and the line suddenly goes dead in the middle of her scolding about not watching out for Marinette. Adrien’s heart drops as he watches another part of the city disappear on the television screen. At this rate there might not even be an airport left for them to land at when they arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Martin.


	22. Chapter 22

 

“Ladybug, look at me,” Le Tigre cups Marinette’s cheeks with his hands and she blearily squints back at him, obviously making an effort. He’s relieved for that much. 

“Hey Bugster,” he coos gently, “Can you transform for me, please?” and Marinette babbles something incomprehensible.

“Look at me, look at me. There you go. Good job. Spots on, okay?” he coaxes kindly. His heart is racing. 

“Chat nwoar…” Marinette takes a deep breath.

“I’m here, it’s me. It’s okay,” he clings to her face desperately. Marinette makes some sort of sound and slumps a little more. At least she wasn’t sleeping anymore, which was good. The tiniest sliver of hope to cling to. Bunnix shifts her weight anxiously and Le Tigre tries to ignore it, focusing completely on the woman in his hands.

“Can you transform for me, please? We need Ladybug. We need you,” he whispers. Marinette’s voice catches on her transformation, but it works. Ladybug’s mask is now under his fingers and the fabric of her suit slips in a familiar way against his own.

“Good job, Bugster,” he encourages, still not relieved at all. He can feel the energy shift in the air, Black Lion was powering up to take out another large area. He was still attuned to the destruction energy, at least. Le Tigre was glad that connection, determination, and experience played a lot into the strength of their powers. He was sure that if he was akumatized and was doing the same as Black Lion, it would have only taken one Cataclysm to wipe the city off the map. Regardless, this was still no joke. Millions of people were dead. He gathers Ladybug back up into his arms and looks over to Bunnix. Ladybug giggles about something unknown to all of them.

“She won’t be able-”

“She will.” If he didn’t believe in Ladybug, what was the point?

 

* * *

 

“Hey Nino,” Marinette groans. She’s already taken stock of where she was and what must have transpired the night before. He immediately zips to attention.

“How are you feeling?” Nino asks.

“My head hurts…”

“Someone spiked your drink. You’ve been out. I sent Noir back to his event so that he isn’t missed,” Nino explains, “He’s a staple there, apparently.”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. And Black Lion?” Marinette picks up the glass of water that had been left for her at her bedside. She eyes where the IV is hooked into the top of her hand. With the way her memories are from the night before, there’s no question that she needed it.

“You fixed the damage but he’s still out there.”

“Shit.”

“I don’t think you should trust anything you hear from anyone over at Gabriel. I think it was a setup,” Nino sighs heavily. Marinette closes her eyes, hanging her head. 

“Do you think Hawky knows who I am now?” Marinette whispers shakily. She still felt a little weak and foggy. 

“Maybe he was suspicious of Marinette because of all those requests you sent lately,” Tikki offers. 

“So I should go back to Cannes, too.”

“It’s too dangerous to leave again,” Nino disagrees. Marinette sighs.

“Okay. We just have to do something as soon as possible.”

“What are you thinking, Mari?” Nino asks.

“I think… I might really have to kill him.”

 

"Are you for real?"

"He's too cautious. If I ever get close enough to him I'm going to have to do whatever I can to beat him, and Chat's right. He's always been right," Marinette runs her fingers along the rim of her water glass, "I might have to kill Hawky."

"Maybe you're a little too close to Chat now," Nino winces.

"I have to look at it as a possibility," she justifies. 

"You  _ don't _ . No matter how bad the guy is, he doesn't have to die. You've always said that. It's what makes you Ladybug."

"Knowing who he is and what he's done and what kind of person he is changed that a little for me, I think," Marinette swallows, "I might have been really out of it but I know half this city died last night."

"Just because you're in a relationship with Chat now doesn't mean that you have to have the same opinion as him on the subject. And I get it. His dad is shitty and abusive. But I think you'd regret doing something so extreme. Especially to someone you were so close with. If it really comes down to murdering in the end, let Chat finish it," Nino advises. 

"I always thought of this as our own magical thing going on. Like it's own self contained bubble. I failed to see that Hawky is a real world terrorist and that is how Chat has thought of it the whole time. He can see the civilians where I can't. The whole city. It's like he's been protecting them by himself."

"Everyone has their own reasons for doing what they do. Even Hawky. No matter how delusional. I don't want to debate the ethics of a death sentence with you because we've typically been on the same side with this. I just… it's not our responsibility to have to decide. There's no way that we can see the whole picture and there is no way that we could be impartial and objective since we are part of this. He doesn't have to die. We aren't murderers and we aren't that desperate."

"Hawky will kill  _ everyone _ if he could," Marinette breathes. Nino's repetition of her beliefs was needed, but she wasn't sure if she should subscribe to them so religiously anymore. She had a job to do. And if that was too militaristic… well, what were they doing besides fighting, anyway? She was tired. Adrien was tired. Nino was tired. Hawk Moth had to be tired, too. It would be easier just to  _ finish it _ and be done.

"I  _ know _ ," Nino frowns deeply. Helplessly.

 

* * *

 

“I have insured that our coworkers will not suspect our return. I could not come up with a reasonable excuse for us to be here, so we will pretend not to be,” Martin informs as Marinette gets into his car. She hesitates, not having thought of this yet. And now there were six people on the planet that knew who she was (if she was right about Hawk Moth). It was more than she ever planned and the number had doubled in such a short amount of time. Marinette knew she could at least trust Martin. He had been loyal and a good friend to her in a professional capacity for a long time now. 

“I’m sorry about all of this, Martin. I’m sorry you had to leave Cannes. I would have left by myself. Helping Ladybug isn’t part of your job and I want you to know that I really appreciate everything. Your support really means a lot to me.”

“Just attempting to do what is right. I live in Paris, too, you know. We all owe it to help you when the opportunity arises. If you hadn’t gotten back last night, there wouldn’t have been anything to come home to, anyway,” Martin says passively, pulling into the street and away from the hospital, “Where would you like me to take you?”

“I assumed we’d go in to the office, but…”

“No longer an option,” Martin nods his head solemnly, “If you don’t mind… I would like to offer my services to Ladybug in a similar capacity as I do to MDC.”

“Are you asking for a raise?” Marinette smirks.

“We can discuss over lunch.”

“Deal,” Marinette grins. It’s always nice to have a new ally, and she already knew Martin was someone she could count on. She was going to need as many allies as possible. 

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure you’re okay now, Bugster?” Adrien asks.

“I’m fine,” Marinette assures for maybe the tenth time on this video call. She’s tired of it, “I just don’t see why anyone would spike only _ my drink _ . At a party with actual models.”

“You’re better than all the models combined,” Adrien disagrees immediately.

“Anyone ever drug you?”

“Probably?” he actually looks like he’s thinking about it, “Probably a few times?”

“Adrien!”

“I probably would have slept with them anyway,” Adrien bites his lip, frowning.

“Are… are you okay?” Marinette breathes. If he was just realizing that he had been date raped multiple times, it could be really bad. She wouldn’t know what to do. He laughs instead.

“Yeah. I mean, it’s pretty much what I wanted? To escape completely… and I’m used to drugs, but you…”

“Martin wouldn’t have let anything happen to me,” Marinette affirms.

“He let your drink get spiked in the first place.”

“There was no way we would have known.”

“Yeah, I know… just… I don’t know about him.”

“Are you jealous? You know he’s gay, right?”

“So? I can still be jealous. Platonic love is a thing,” Adrien pouts and then whines, “Your  _ time _ and your  _ attention _ .”

“You’re so needy, kitty,” Marinette teases and Adrien blushes a little at it.

“I only need  _ you _ ,” And it was Marinette’s turn to blush.

 

“Hey… I meant to thank you for last night. I’m not really sure what we did but I think it was hard on you. Plus it was Black Lion, so…”

“Yeah… yeah, we… lost almost everyone. It was just you and Carapace at the end, he had to help you do the purification and restoration.”

“Oh… what happened to you?” Marinette blinks, shocked. She already knows what he’s going to say.

“I had an intimate moment with one of those sickles. That was what the butter was in, by the way. So it was worth it. I bet Moth was proud of himself for a second.”

“Chat. No,” Marinette feels like she can’t breathe. And he was just saying the words like it didn’t matter.

“I wasn’t thinking rationally. I’m not as strong as I would have been. And like… I was tired and desperate. I don’t really think about stuff. I’m sorry, Ladybug. I’m not strong enough to protect you,” by the time he’s done talking, his voice has become a whisper.

“I’m strong enough for both of us,” Marinette swallows back the tears that are threatening to form in her eyes. 

“I know that you are,” he nods his head, “I miss you already. I wanna come home and hug you.”

“I want to hug you too,” she answers.

 

“You two are sweet,” Tikki giggles when Marinette and Adrien are finally done arguing about who loves the other more and end their call.

“Yeah… I really like him.”

“I’m so happy for you, Marinette!” the kwami answers cheerfully. It doesn’t make Marinette feel half as cheerful. She was accustomed already to losing people temporarily, and Chat Noir often. It was never anything she had allowed herself to dwell on too much. Everyone was always okay in the end. Physically. What was bothering her was the weird, nonchalant way Adrien acted about it. How he thought his own father would be feeling anything positive about his death. The worst part was that Adrien probably wasn’t even wrong about that. Gabriel was horrible. For Adrien to know it was his  _ father _ that had killed him via proxy each time. Already thinking he was dangerous and that his life was cursed, his father was trying to kill him. It was no wonder he had always felt the reality of danger much more than she had. Chat knew there was nothing besides him that could stand in Hawk Moth’s way. What was it like for him to know that your father wanted you to die? That he didn’t love you. Who else could love you if he didn’t? Marinette swallows back the tears. Adrien’s life seemed more heartbreaking than ever. She felt like she wanted to make Gabriel suffer for it.

 

* * *

 

“Gabriel was your original investor, is that correct?” Martin is speaking and Marinette is only half-listening. She’s watching a video of Adrien Agreste tripping over a cameraman’s cable at Cannes. He crashes into an archway sign that in turn topples to the ground, just narrowly missing an A-list movie star and her trophy husband. Adrien helps them up, apologizing profusely and cutely offering everything he could to make it up to them. The internet was eating it up. But Marinette keeps playing the first part of the video. There was no reason Adrien should have gotten that tangled up. Had he backslid on his progress and gotten drunk? Marinette bit her lip. She was worried about him. She wanted to be with him. She didn’t like being apart anymore.

“Does he have any financial stake left in MDC?” Martin asks. Marinette restarts the Adrien Falling at Cannes Day 4 video to watch him trip again. “Marinette?”

“Oh. What? Gabe? I don’t think so, why?”

“I’m trying to manufacture a business disaster where you could meet him under professional pretense, or something in which he would feel responsible for your situation.”

“I’m not sure I’m comfortable using my company as a chip in a poker match with Hawky,” Marinette frowns. It did kind of seem like a plausible strategy. She certainly hadn’t thought of it herself. Her successes and failures as a designer still reflected a little on Gabriel’s reputation. He was in a way still getting credit for her success, credit she had always felt like he had deserved. She certainly didn’t feel that way anymore. The video of Adrien’s minor red carpet disaster restarts. Marinette smiled fondly at the blonde. If Gabriel had any sense of responsibility for anyone, it should have been for his son. Obviously he didn’t care there. Appealing to pride was not how to get to Hawk Moth, either through MDC or Adrien.

 

“If you aren’t willing to bet on your hand, you will never win,” Martin says solemnly. Marinette looks up from her tablet and meets the eyes of her own protege. She knew she felt proud of him. Martin was going to thrive just as she had, and Gabriel wouldn’t be responsible for that. “You’re Ladybug. Shouldn’t you be doing everything and anything to defeat him? You’re not willing to make any sacrifices?

“I am, but I have a civilian life too. I have to live. And all of my employees rely on me to live, too,” she points out, “including you.”

“Hawk Moth is prepared to do whatever it takes, and Chat Noir has already sacrificed everything that he has, but you won’t do the same? How far are you willing to go?” he explains to her seriously and it arrests her. She hadn’t considered it from that angle yet. Adrien suffered so much but she had never done the same. How far  _ was _ she willing to go? Martin was right. They hadn’t defeated Hawk Moth yet because she didn’t want to sacrifice her lifestyle or her morals. She was only being a part-time hero. She  _ wasn’t _ playing the same game that Hawk Moth and Chat Noir were. But she was now. She was prepared to commit murder. Compared to that, what was her career? It certainly wasn’t worth more than a life, no matter how evil. Marinette had needed Martin’s perspective to show her her own limits. Limits she needed to throw away. To beat Hawk Moth, there had to be no difference between them. There was no right or wrong anymore, only winning or losing. That was the game. 

 

“He won’t be concerned financially. Or out of obligation towards me. I’ve only ever seen him be concerned about control and reputation.”

“A scandal,” Martin nods his head immediately, like he was waiting for it.  _ The rumors. _

“Blackmail,” Marinette agrees. Something flashes across Martin’s face, but it’s gone before Marinette can identify it.

“Do you have proof you slept with Gabriel Agreste, if you did?” he counters, “Or something you could manufacture for that angle?”

“No. I didn’t, and I don’t. My relationship with him was much more professional than my relationship with you, or even Delphine.”

“I hate that woman,” Martin crinkles his nose at the name and Marinette laughs.

“She does a good job. Being a boss isn’t always about liking employees. Sometimes you just need people to do work. And Delphine does.”

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say.”

“So what were you actually thinking if it wasn’t blackmail?” Marinette prompts. Martin clicks around on his laptop and then turns it for her to see.

 

“Couture?” she grins as an immediate reaction, until what she’s seeing really processes. To her eye, there is no mistaking it. The lines were Gabriel’s. The way the fabric was drawn to melt along the body’s line was Gabriel. The designs weren’t even one of his staff designers, it was all  _ him _ . And they were good. Marinette knew Gabriel’s collections as well as she knew her own. This was new, unreleased work. She looks at Martin and they stare at each other in silence, wordlessly communicating the seriousness of what was being presented.

“How?” she finally forces it out of her throat. All of Martin’s other ideas had been leading up to this one. They were all trash in comparison. Warm-ups to soften her into the idea. To make her more accepting. Martin was already invested in this plan because he knew it was the best. He could be just as manipulative as Gabriel Agreste but in his own way.

“You owe me €9,550,” he informs flatly, closing the laptop lid, “I think we are capable of sewing it up before Paris Couture Week at the end of June.”

“Martin…”

“I know that it would destroy MDC forever if they’re doing this same collection at Couture week but I have spent four days thinking of everything and outside of blackmail or having had a secret love child with Gabriel Agreste, this is the only way to almost guarantee getting into the same room as him. Especially since he suspects that you suspect him.”

“Martin…”

“The staff at MDC will have little issue being snatched up by the other brands. Including me. You don’t have to worry about that.” and they fall into silence again because he is right. It would only be her career that she was sacrificing. Her dream. Martin himself was making a huge sacrifice here in the name of defeating evil, too. What was sacrifice in order to defeat a supervillain? Wasn’t she prepared to lay down her life? She always thought that she had been. She knew that Adrien was. It was time she took this as seriously as he did, now that she really knew what was at stake.

“I have to go all in.” She was Ladybug. Ladybug before everything else.

“And hope he doesn’t fold,” Martin nods.

 

It’s a huge gamble.

 

* * *

 

“I didn’t get called in to model for you for weirdo-crazy week. Did you want to ask in person? I got inquiries from Supreme and Armani so I need to know what to plan to be able to do…” Adrien grins sheepishly. Now that he’s asked, Marinette realizes it’s what he’s been so fidgety about for the past two days. Was he upset that she hadn’t offered the job? He’d been waiting for her to ask?

“Well… I shouldn’t use you too much or people might get suspicious of something. I did already design a whole line of gowns for you to wear next year. But mostly I’m using my runway show to lure out Gabriel Agreste.”

“What are you doing?” Adrien’s eyes narrow, “Is this gonna be some designer stuff I don’t understand?”

“Maybe…” Marinette tries to gather up words in her brain to start explaining the plan. She wanted it to be more of a sure thing before she ran it by him. 

“Do you need me to be there as backup?”

“Maybe not the actual show, but I’d like to have you on reserve when I catch him, of course.”

“Always,” Adrien nods his head enthusiastically.

“Adrien, doing this plan might… well, it might force MDC to close and I’m… I’m a little upset, honestly.”

“We can think of another plan, then,” Adrien comes to her, his big hands encasing her shoulders.

“But I  _ can’t _ think of another way, and we have to do something before Black Lion comes back again.”

“And you’re sure that whatever this is will work?”

“Nothing will ever work if I don’t try.”

“That’s true, but-”

“I’m okay with this. I’m prepared to do it. I’m just sad for it. MDC was my dream come true. At least I know I could do it. I achieved what I wanted.”

“Marinette…” the concern is clear on Adrien’s face. He never hid any of his emotions. He always just honestly let himself  _ feel _ . Marinette wishes that she could let go like that.

 

She wanted to be strong for him, for both of them. Marinette knew that Ladybug was Adrien’s only source of hope in his life. She was doing her best to support him through the struggles she had come to learn about, but she needed support too and he couldn’t help her unless she let go and was honest about the way that she felt. 

“I’m scared,” she dares to whisper. Adrien pressed a heavy kiss to her temple and looks down into her eyes, pressing their foreheads together.

“You can always, always count on me, Ladybug. No matter what happens. I will always be standing by your side. We can get through anything together,” he says. It wall sounds so Chat-like and is incredibly grounding. Chat always knew exactly what to say to encourage her, even from day one. He had let her down before, but it had only been her own fault every single time. It was stupid to have ever felt like she couldn’t trust this man.

“I should have known that I could rely on you,” Marinette whispers vaguely. Adrien smiles.

“Nothing would make me happier than if you did. I know I don’t deserve it, but I want to help you.”

“You do deserve my trust. You deserve everything, Adrien.”

 

“Sounds like career suicide,” Adrien takes a deep breath after Marinette finishes explaining her plagarism plan, “You don’t have to do something like that.”

“I think that I do. We are desperate. I’m willing to give it up. It’s actually a small price to have to pay.”

“Is it?” he knows what she means because he’s done the same thing a hundred times over. It might work out better for her, though. Ladybugs were luckier than black cats but he didn’t want Marinette to have to suffer. She was incredibly talented at designing, and really successful at it too. She loved clothes. She loved being a designer, and Adrien knew that. He knew from the way she dressed to the gleam in her eye when she sketched. Marinette was creative and passionate, she would be able to recover and find a new outlet, but she would grieve for who she had been. Maybe she already was.

“If it wasn’t, I’d be ashamed to be Ladybug.”

“I love you,” Adrien gasps. He can’t help but to say it. She was just so incredible. So much justice. So much courage. He’s overcome with emotion for her. Love, adoration, pride, pity. He would happily just lay down and die in exchange for her happiness and feel like there was no better use of his life. Marinette sighs into his chest. 

“The good news is I’m rich and we can just go live on our own island or something,” he says cheerfully, at a loss for anything else to comfort her with. Her laugh is airy and relieved. They smile at each other.

“Wait. Did you say you want me to wear a gown?”

 

* * *

 

Adrien was scratching through his hair repeatedly, hanging his arm off his neck by his fingers. It was actually starting to drive Marinette crazy. She just wanted to tell him to stop, but that would probably make it worse.

“What are you thinking about?” she slides her stylus into the pen loop on her tablet. She wasn’t sure why she was bothering to continue designing. She just had no other way to clear her head. Maybe she could anonymously sell patterns online.

“Just… everything,” he sighs, picking up his game controller and then putting it back down again. He runs his hands through his hair. Marinette stays quiet. He didn’t have something to distract his brain like she did with drawing. Thinking about it, being Chat must have been one of Adrien’s outlets for all of his stress. He was known to be spotted running around goofing off all the time, not that he wasn’t known for that as Adrien, either. But it was a better option than sitting here being annoying, and it was certainly a much better option than drinking. 

“Maybe you should take Roaar out for a spin,” Marinette suggests quietly. As if on cue, the magenta tiger speeds over, delighted for the opportunity. Adrien stares at it and then musses up his hair again.

“Come on! Let’s go!” Roaar cheers. Adrien looks over at Marinette like he was physically suffering.

“Come with me?” he asks, his eyes big and imploring. His lip pouty. It doesn’t sound like a terrible proposal to her or anything. It would be a great distraction from everything else.

“Sure. I’ll race you to the column at Place de la Bastille. Tikki, spots on!” She is out the window before Adrien has even said Roaar’s name.

 

“You are  _ really _ slow,” Ladybug smirks when Le Tigre finally arrives.

“I can’t exactly go web-slinging style like you can, Bugster. You gotta give me a handicap,” Tiger leans on his bow and looks up at her. Reverently.

“Akumas aren’t going to go easy on you so I won’t either,” she points out. He frowns.

“There haven’t been any akuma. Ten days.”

“So?”

“Almost overdue. He’s tired, planning something shitty, or something happened to him.”

“Hawky doesn’t have a schedule.”

“He always sends an akuma within 15 days of the last one unless there’s something going on. You didn’t know who he was so you wouldn’t have seen the pattern. Four years ago when he disappeared?”

“Gabriel was hospitalized. I went and saw him,” Ladybug mumbles, immediately understanding what Tigre meant. She remembered that winter clearly. Chat Noir had gone hard into vigilantism, she had her eggs frozen, Martin started working for her, and Hawk Moth had been absent. Gloriously absent for so long that it lulled Paris into a false sense of hope that he might finally be gone for good. Marinette remembers how free she felt. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it hinges on the fact that Moth is Gabriel Agreste and you didn’t believe that. We didn’t talk a lot about that stuff, anyway.”

“Well, let’s not talk about it,” Ladybug nods her head and lowers herself to the sidewalk to be on his level. She had no right to feel upset or betrayed. If she got upset or angry with him now, it would only make him feel worse than he already did and the point of being out like this was to make him feel better.

 

“You’ve been bored,” she says instead of asking him to use his own words.

“Yeah… but… it’s everything. I’m adjusting. I know this is for the better, but it’s just been so much change all at once… I felt really normal at Cannes. Like myself.”

“And you don’t now,” Ladybug nods her head. She can see Adrien’s eyes gazing hopelessly back at her from behind his visor. She had no idea what to say. She had been so consumed the last few days about how lost she was going to feel later that she had forgotten that Adrien was already experiencing it. He didn’t know who he was without ‘Playboy Drunkard’ to fall back on.

It didn’t look fun.

“I wrote… I wrote you a letter, too,” he breaks the silence, “I mean… I don’t have it right now, but… I did write one. It’s just embarrassing so I didn’t give it to you.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed with me,” Ladybug smiles. 

“I just don’t want you to hate me. Who I was. The stuff that I did.”

“I won’t.”

“You did before.”

“I was an idiot before.”

“You were never an idiot,” he laughs, “I deserved to be hated.”

“The only person that deserves to be hated is your father.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers: Gabe's gonna die next episode and thats why this felt like filler I really wanted Marinette to be very sure about it
> 
> Should be up Wednesdayish instead since I skipped last week's update. Gon catch up


	23. Chapter 23

Marinette wakes up early- the anxiety about her day not allowing her to stay asleep for long. Now that she was awake, there was no way she was going to be able to go back to sleep. The sleeping pill definitely was the only reason she had been able to sleep at all, and she was grateful for the small number of hours she had stolen because of it. Adrien had taken one too, so he was still blissfully unconscious. Marinette looks down at him from where she was pacing beside the bed. _Who would write a prescription like that for him?_ Although... it was pretty easy to get whatever you wanted with enough money and Adrien had enough money. She shouldn’t be surprised. She wouldn’t be surprised if he had just bought it from one of his ‘friends’ or something, either. He was currently curled up naked, back up against the wall in the corner of the bed. Marinette didn’t understand why the man hated wearing clothes so much but she was starting to learn that he really just didn’t if it was an option not to. It was better than his giant collection of Luka Couffaine t-shirts, that was for sure. _Much_ better. Not like she was complaining about the nudity, it was just sometimes a little too much for her. 

 

Adrien had like a million pillows, a few of them under and around his head, one under his feet, one hugged to his chest, two more rested more or less on top of him. The others were arranged around him besides where Marinette had been. Completely cocooned. He was protecting himself with pillows against an unknown threat while he slept like they would really help him. Well, not so unknown. Marinette had read his letter and it held all of his life in it. She knew now about how it had been for him when his father tried to recruit him to the other side and what life was like living with Hawk Moth after that. Adrien had only gone into as much detail as necessary, but that was less to spare Marinette the details and more because of the sheer volume of experiences he had wanted to share with her. The stack of pages had been the story of his life and she had cried over it. There he was now, sleeping and vulnerable, all that was standing between him and his father were a couple of pillows but it still made him feel safe enough. She was there, too. He had Ladybug now.

 

Marinette lets her gaze trail over him, she had spent a lifetime appreciating him physically, completely oblivious to the complexity of the person inside and his proximity to her. Being aware of that complexity did not change her attraction to him at all. It might have made it worse. Knowing he was her partner might have made it worse. His skin was smooth and golden and his eyelashes were pretty against his cheeks. She knew his skincare routine by now and that he went to tanning booths twice a month. She knew he got facials pretty regularly and wore face masks while he watched movies at home. She knew he worked out for an hour and a half almost every morning. It was hard being beautiful, and Adrien put a lot of effort into it. He’d walked for Armani yesterday. He was going to do the same for Versace today (MDC’s show was today, too), and then modeling again for Supreme the day after tomorrow. Marinette hadn’t seen him eat anything solid in three days. She also knew about the detox teas that were almost a week going. She could see really clearly the symptoms now that she could recognize having seen often in Chat throughout the years. His light irritability, his fatigue- easily frustrated and completely reckless. It was hunger. She could see the muscles more clearly under his skin and how the curve of his waist became more prominent than usual. It was exactly what she looked for in models. It was exactly what everyone looked for. She had never fully understood what went into it. Theirry hadn’t been like this, but he wasn’t the best. Not like Adrien was. Of course you hear all the time about how models only look the way that they do because they were unhealthy and how dangerous it was for the models and for the people influenced by looking at them. It was an unrealistic body because he was being unrealistic with his life. She couldn’t acknowledge that he had an eating disorder without needing to do something about it, but she didn’t know what to do. And being a model was his livelihood. One of the very few things he had left that was familiar to him. Maintaining his body and diet was probably the only part of his life where he still had a real sense of control and stability and understanding over, even if it wasn’t good for him. What was she supposed to do? Wait for Couture Week to end and watch his body fill back in until the next big job? Had he done this for MDC? How often? Marinette felt guilty like she never had before. _At least nobody will fast on my behalf ever again after today._ And that was not as much of a reassuring thought as she had wanted to be.

 

* * *

 

They lower the mesh _shape_ (?) over Adrien’s head and carefully fix it to the coat collar. He can barely see out of it and no one would be able to see him, but that wasn’t why he had been chosen for this outfit. They needed someone experienced, someone they trusted to walk the runway like it was second nature without being able to see. And he was that guy. If he didn’t fall. _Man, Couture Week is weird._ The rest of his outfit was a skintight bodysuit with some crazy psychedelic design on it, under which he had to wear a dance belt like some cheap superhero costume (that thought was funny to him). A coat was on top of that, but the heavy coat-like fabric was limited to the collar and sleeves, the rest was transparent plastics that mimicked the pattern from the spandex-wannabe. There were apparently lights, too, but those weren’t turned on yet. It was all red. He felt silly, but it wasn’t the weirdest thing anyone had ever put him in. Even just last year, MDC had armoured him in at least 75 pounds of intricate metalwork. That had been rough. Again, he had been among a very short list of models that could pull that off on the runway. Or now that he knew better, it was probably just that MDC liked him so much.

 

The MDC show had gone on that morning but he was so busy with Versace that he hadn’t been able to check on it. That and he didn’t have his phone, they were required to check all of their belongings earlier. He realizes belatedly that he doesn’t even know when his father’s line is showing. He had spent so many years purposefully avoiding and ignoring the word ‘Gabriel’ it was second nature to him.

“Hey,” Adrien asks into the void, unsure of who was still around him or within earshot, “Does Gabriel have a collection this week?”

“Gabriel? Yeah, it’s tomorrow,” someone hears his question and diligently gives him the answer that he was looking for. _Maybe I should go see it?_

“Did you hear? They might cancel,” someone (one of the models? Josephine, maybe?) says.

“How do you know that?” (nope, _that_ was Josephine) Adrien could definitely count on models to gossip, if nothing else.

“My roomie is walking for them, she is freaking out.”

“What happened? Nobody ever cancels,” Adrien feels emboldened by his anonymity to ask.

“Dunno.”

“Well, I heard something about MDC.”

“Didn’t she used to be sleeping with Gabriel? Like, Gabriel himself Gabriel?” _Ugh_. Adrien bristles a little bit at that comment in his ridiculous outfit. He had heard it all before. So many times. Marinette’s reputation was terrible. Fashion was too brutal for her. Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was him that fashion was too brutal for. Marinette really didn’t seem to care one way or the other about the way people spoke of her.

“Yeah, but what does that have to do with the show?”

“Who knows? I bet they have a secret lovechild or something.” This new rumor aggravates Adrien much more now that Marinette’s told him that she had some infertility issues. He wants to argue and defend her but he has to bite down that Chat part inside of him. It wasn’t supposed to exist anymore. He also wasn’t supposed to know anything about MDC, or about Gabriel Agreste. Adrien tensely listens to the rest of the gossip until they get called out to start lining up.

 

* * *

 

She isn’t answering her phone except for Martin, who hadn’t called yet. Marinette turned off all other notifications. People suspected. That was more than enough to turn the fashion community on it’s head. It was so easy to see Gabriel’s hand in those designs, and they obviously contained almost none of MDC’s signature rock-and-roll aesthetic. Gabriel’s work was sophisticated and elegant- Marinette had always struggled to match her more alternative tastes with his when she worked under him. The results had always been amazing when they made it work. Marinette tries to shove her memories down, all of those long nights discussing color and shape and form. Working in tandem to add little details to a garment, or a week spent together hand-beading a robe. All of the stories Gabriel had told her about the industry, the parties. The way things were when he was younger. Marinette’s phone vibrates and she looks down at the table, her heart twists when she sees Martin’s cheeky smirk on the screen. She clutches the phone to her ear with a speed rarely used in her civilian form.

“He wants to see you,” Martin sounds tired.

“When?”

“As soon as possible.”

“Where?”

“His office.”

“Okay. Thanks. This is it, I guess. Thank you, Martin.”

“Anytime.” And they hang up. Marinette leaves her payment for her untouched coffee on the table and slides into the cafe’s bathroom.

 

Some people glance at Marinette as she walks into the office, but she moves with surety and confidence right past the reception desk into the elevator. Nobody says anything to her. They would just assume she was MDC coming to meet Gabriel, and later she wouldn’t match up on the description. Under the wig and the sunglasses and the red Gabriel outfit from head to toe, she wasn’t Marinette anymore. She was Ladybug here to do a job, even if she couldn’t walk in as Ladybug. The elevator guard makes no move, so that confirms that they were expecting MDC. Someone had warned him about a short woman coming in to meet with the boss. They warily eye each other. She knew she looked suspicious and this guard would regret his choices later. Anyway, she wasn’t planning to leave via elevator. There had always been tight security like this at Gabriel. She should have realized at some point that something was wrong or she should have had at least some suspicion about it. But despite Gabriel(the man)’s shrewd personality she had never once thought that he was evil. In retrospect, she had been a naive idiot. Only a super-villain would put security in elevators.

 

“Marinette,” Gabriel greets her reflexively. He is sitting on his desk as she lets herself into his office. The pose reminds her faintly of Adrien. He picks up his glasses and puts them on. Gabriel opens his mouth to speak but hesitates because she is so obviously disguised. She sees the understanding immediately process in him. The confirmation of all of his suspicions and then a deep fear.

“Spots on.”

“Wait-”

“It’s over, Hawk Moth,” her yo-yo wire is around his neck before he can say anything more. She didn’t want to hear his excuses. His reasons. She didn’t care. Gabriel’s frail fingers slip at the wire around his throat and he slides to the floor in a desperate panic. His eyes are wide when he looks to her to let him go. It’s almost sound-less. Ladybug watches the old man’s body seize until he is still. She waits until she is sure and then kneels down next to the body, retracting her yo-yo.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, turning him and removing his tie. Nothing. She unbuttons his vest and checks all of his pockets. When his person doesn’t concede the Miraculous of the Butterfly or of the Cat or of the Peacock, she moves in a panic to the rest of the room. Drawers, shelves, sketchbooks, bags. Nothing. Ladybug’s heart is racing. He didn’t have it. He had been ready for her in some way, but not ready to die. She looks down at what’s left of the man she knew so well. Maybe he hadn’t been Hawk Moth at all. Maybe Ladybug had made a huge mistake. Ladybug pushes that thought down deep. She was sure. There was no mistake. She breaks the window glass and slips out of Gabriel’s office and onto the rooftops of Paris.

 

Ladybug spends a long time searching the Agreste Mansion, right up until the police show up. She leaves the entrances to his secret lairs unguarded and undisguised for them to find. Anyone would be able to conclude Gabriel’s identity from that much alone. She doesn’t want to go home empty-handed, but she has no other choice. The police would want to question Marinette soon, anyway. Ladybug slides stealthily up to Inspector Raincomprix and another officer.

“Agreste was Hawk Moth. I’m the one that killed him,” she says, and watches the shocked reponses. “I won’t turn myself in, but I will take responsibility for this crime.”

“Ladybug!”

“The power that allowed Hawk Moth to be evil is still out there, I cannot rest,” It sounds horrible.

“Y-you killed-”

“I had help from a lot of civilians, but I acted alone,” covering Marinette’s ass. Covering Martin’s. It really was a solid plan. Martin was thorough.

“That’s-” the inspector is cut off by a nearby explosion. 

 

It rocks Ladybug to her core. _An akuma? No way._ Several more explosions, moving away. Her body reacts before her mind does and she’s swinging towards the path of wreckage. 

 

* * *

 

“Wow. Moth is mad about your shit, huh?” Le Tigre laughs, joining Ladybug under the Eiffel Tower.

“No,” is all that Ladybug says.

“What’s the matter?”

“I think the akuma is Martin,” her eyes move quickly along the structure, following the akuma’s movements.

“Really? What happened?”

“I don’t know, but there can’t be an akuma without Hawk Moth,” Ladybug swallows, starting to spin her yo-yo.

“Wait,” Tigre grabs her arm, “He’s gone?”

“Gone,” there’s not any more explanation.

“Bugster…”

“Let’s do this first,” Ladybug shakes her head, face hardened. _She’s ignoring her emotions to get through this._ Tigre glances back up at the akuma. Someone else must be using the butterfly miraculous. 

 

_Martin._

 

_Martin has it._

 

_This is some Fashion Bullshit or something but this is_ bad _. It’s Martin._

 

He shivers with dread at having to watch Marinette suffer a betrayal like this one. He had been through enough of his own to understand.

“Lucky Charm!” Ladybug calls out. It’s a small button. She stares intently at it for a moment. Tigre uses the time to send an alert to Carapace. He’s not sure if Ladybug has reached the same conclusion and is just in denial or not.

“Chat Noir, earpiece. I think we have to separate.”

“No.”

“Chat-”

“No. We have to beat the akuma together. This needs to end today.”

“I couldn’t find the butterfly miraculous,” Ladybug whispers, “He passed everything to someone.”

“Well aware, M’lady.”

“I’ll carry you up,” she knows his limitations as Tigre. There were too many, but being more or less ground-bound because of his failure at grappling was probably the most frustrating one. Even if he did get to hug Ladybug because of it. He wraps his arms around her comfortably and she propels them into the web of metal above. They collide with Martin midair and all three drop to a support beam. Tigre rolls out of the fall into a kneel, brandishing his bow and pulling a random arrow to aim at Martin. Martin smirks at him in acknowledgement. 

 

“Martin, you don’t have-” the end of Ladybug’s sentence dies with her realization that Martin is not akumatized. Tigre doesn’t spare her a glance. He can’t bear to watch it. He knows her. He knows what her resignation looks like, he knows what it’s like when Ladybug resets herself with a steely determination when presented with a setback like this. He feels like he knows it’s happening, but Martin issues his challenge before Ladybug does. Because he was prepared for this.

“We don’t have to fight, Marinette. We make a good team. Work with me to make a better world,” he stretches out his arms, showing them vulnerability.

“What do you mean, better world?” Ladybug’s voice is detached, emotionless.

“One where things are better. Easier for all. You know the way people hurt each other. There doesn’t have to be suffering. You and I can make everything beautiful. Everything we ever wanted or dreamed about! Things can be the way they are supposed to be, Marinette. I don’t want to fight you.”

“I don’t want to fight anymore, either,” Ladybug sounds more than just emotionless. She sounds empty. Tigre finally turns his neck back to look at her, and he wished that he hadn’t. She wasn’t just pretending to play it cool to face down their potential new nemesis, she was simply not feeling anything at all. Tigre looks away. He doesn’t want to see _Ladybug_ so lifeless. He doesn’t think he has strength enough to support them both. Tigre settles his gaze on this new Hawk Moth. It’s odd, how he can still see the reflections of his father even though Gabriel is gone. He lets the arrow slip through his fingers.

 

A great weight drops onto him, and Tigre doesn’t even see if the arrow meets his target. A few moments of disorientation pass, the only thing he can truly make sense of is the pressure at his neck.

“Chaton!” Ladybug calls his name in concern. She must have attacked, because the weight pinning him shifts just enough for Tigre to turn over. Black Lion. Of course. _Just my luck._ Tigre uses his bow as leverage against the villain as Ladybug come back in again, this time joined by Carapace. The three of them manage to subdue Black Lion. It was easier when he wasn’t akumatized- when he could only use Cataclysm once. Carapace hands him the ring with a meaningful nod. Tigre looks over at where Martin had been. Of course the spot was empty now. They’d given him plenty of time to get away. He tightens his fist around the Miraculous of the Cat and looks back at Ladybug. She was staring into space as well, her lucky charm clenched in her fist.

“Vert… that was LB’s friend,” Tigre says quietly to Carapace, watching Ladybug carefully. She does overhear them and their eyes meet.

“Your father…”

“I know, Bugster,” not letting her say anything is all he can do.

 

* * *

 

“Thank you, I guess,” Adrien lets Roaar settle in his hand. He honestly wasn’t going to miss the pink kwami very much, but Roaar had given it her all and had done her best. She’d put up with his terrible mood swings and his utter incompetence with a smile. She didn’t deserve anything less than his appreciation. 

“It was fun!” Roaar replies happily. 

“Was it?” Adrien holds in the little laugh that threatens to slide out.

“Yes. You are very nice! Your heart is strong,” the kwami trills gleefully. 

“Thank you. I’m glad you think that even if I wasn’t the best to you,” he pats Roaar’s ear and gives her the miraculous. She floats over to Nino and disappears into the keychain. Nino and Adrien share a long silence. 

“You gonna put on the ring?” Nino finally prompts.

“Plagg’s really gonna tell me off,” Adrien sighs. He doesn’t want an audience, no matter what happens.

“Well, alright…” Nino sighs and then looks over at the closed door that separated them from Marinette and Alya, “She really did it, huh?”

“I…” Adrien hesitates, “I’m jealous. That she got to do it. I’ve daydreamed about choking the life out of him myself for such a long time.”

“Yikes, dude,” Nino cringes. Adrien shrugs. His phone rings. It’s Charles again and he declines the call. He doesn’t want to talk about his father’s death with anyone that doesn’t know the man deserved it.

 

“Mari’s not the killing type,” Nino turns on the television. It’s already on the news channel because of course it is. It was a bad superhero habit. Gabriel Agreste’s face graces the screen. Because of course it does. “I don’t think she should have done that. She’s never going to stop regretting it.”

“Her mind was made up.”

“They were close, you know? Her and your dad.”

“So everyone says,” Adrien sighs, watching the news captions announce the identity of Hawk Moth. His phone goes off again and he answers it this time.

“Charles,” he sighs.

“Do you know? Your father?” Charles looks concerned. Adrien glances up at the television.

“It’s all over the news. Good riddance.”

“Oh. Well… apparently he relinquished half of his personal assets to you, but they’re going to be tied up in legalities because of the Hawk Moth thing. Hard to believe that, isn’t it? Who would have thought?” Charles sighs dramatically.

“I knew,” Adrien says, just because he can. Charles' mouth hangs open for a moment. What Adrien was impressed by is the fact that Gabriel had tried to leave anything to him at all.

“How should I field media inquiries?” is the next question, “Are you going to make a statement? Do you want us to draft one?”

“I’ll write it.”

 

* * *

 

“Martin,” it’s the first thing Marinette’s said in hours. Adrien wasn’t sure if she had slept or not. She’s moved around in their loft in a daze since their return from Alya and Nino’s. He really wanted to offer her some brandy or something.

“What?”

“Look,” she lifts her arm to point at the screen. Adrien turns the volume on- Nadia Chamack was talking about Martin? The screen cuts to Martin himself.

“-and honored for this opportunity to pursue the vision that Gabriel believed in for the world. We will continue on his name and in his honor. Thank you.”

“That is the statement from the new CEO of the brand Gabriel following the death of the brand’s namesake Gabriel Agreste yesterday afternoon-”

Adrien turns the television off, he’s just Done.

“What a bastard,” Adrien states. Marinette takes a deep breath.

“They must have known each other,” her voice is small, her eyes still trained on the empty screen.

“Yeah,” Adrien agrees carefully. It had already been more or less obvious to him. Gabriel had been an expert in manipulating people, but it was clear now that Martin was even better at it.

“His designs are good. They have the same feel as Gabe’s. It was a smart choice to pick him to succeed.”

“Was it?”

“Gabe… he was surprised. I betrayed him. Martin must’ve, too,” Marinette covers her face with her hands. Adrien pulls her into a hug.

 

“I watched him die,” her voice cracks. Adrien tightens his hold, knowing that it’s finally sunk in for her. 

“Listen to me. What you did was good. It was what you had to do because you’re Ladybug. Nobody is sad that Gabriel Agreste is gone-”

“I’M SAD!” Marinette yells, pushing at Adrien’s chest, “And he was your father! You can’t tell me that you don’t feel anything about it!”

“I do...” it was different. It wasn’t grief. He knew grief and he knew that it wasn’t it, and that it wouldn’t be. But it was for Marinette, and her shock was finally wearing off. The guilt and regret crushing down on her, piling onto the grief and helplessness.

“I shouldn’t have…”

“Shh. I know, Bugster. I know,” he doesn’t want her to say anything else. She cries into his chest.

“Martin…” is the eventual wail. Adrien draws in a deep breath, the pain in Marinette’s voice twisting in his chest. He wished he could take all of her pain from her. He wished that he could save her from it.

 

* * *

 

“Adrien!” Plagg does a circle or two in the air when Adrien slips the familiar ring back onto his finger.

“Hey Plagg,” Adrien manages a smile, “It’s been a while.”

“Don’t you _dare_ lose me again!” Plagg rubs their cheeks together briefly, “Got any cheese?”

“All for you,” Adrien smiles, gesturing at the little platter with a sliced wheel of camembert.

“Yes!!!” Plagg inhales a triangle or three and then talks with his mouth full, “Why’re we on the roof?”

“The mood at home is a little… low. A lot happened. How are you, Plagg? Did my father hurt you?” Adrien asks.

“No, I’m good. Much better now!” Plagg’s finished the whole wheel.

“Good,” Adrien breathes a sigh of relief. The worry about what kind of unspecified tortures Hawk Moth had been putting the black cat through had kept Adrien awake more nights than not.

“You were using Tiger? Cheating on me again.”

“I had to help somehow. I couldn’t sit around and do nothing. I don’t look good in hot pink, though,” Adrien smirks. Plagg laughs. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“Ladybug defeated my father yesterday, but Butter got passed on. She’s really upset… and she lives here now.”

“I thought there was something different about you,” Plagg nods.

“No booze or drugs. Oh! You missed Cannes, too. It was fun.”

“Believe me, Adrien. I missed Cannes.”

 

* * *

 

She watches Chat Noir drop out of the window, and for the first time, she’s alone. Adrien hasn’t put on any movies or played any video games. He lets the news run nonstop on the TV even though it's obviously bothering him. He’s giving her a wide berth and Marinette knows it. He’s doing everything he can not to trigger her or make her feel worse than she already does. Marinette appreciates it, but his tip-toeing around is making her uncomfortable. Maybe it’s better that he’s left. She settles back into her newsfeed. Martin’s protecting her, saying that Gabriel and MDC had an understanding about the Couture Week collections. It’s confusing. Why would he be protecting her? It's still a scandal, even if they can get away with it like this. Did he only have her kill Gabriel so he could become insta-CEO of Paris’ second-largest fashion house? Was he her new enemy now or not? He said he didn't want to fight. She didn't want to fight him, either. How did he even know Gabriel? _I need answers._

 

Marinette settles into Adrien's tiny bed, drawing her knees to her chest. She taps on Martin's contact in her phone and puts it on speaker. She wanted to talk to him alone, but having Tikki listen as backup was probably not a bad idea given her current emotional state.

"Marinette."

She doesn't know what to ask first. She's not even sure why she called him, now. Or even that she should. Martin takes the reins.

"I thought you would probably ask Collete to handle my duties until you can hire someone new, so I have handed over everything to her. She's to decline all media inquiries until you tell her otherwise and she will oversee the production schedule already in place."

"Why…" she breathes in disbelief.

"I am glad you followed through on our plan, but I couldn't bear to watch it completely destroy MDC. Did you have to speak to the authorities?"

"Not yet." 

"Good. Your stock only dropped by half so you should be able to recover in four seasons," Martin continues to speak dutifully, like he owes her all of this. Maybe he does. "Alternatively, I would like to purchase the brand and have it operate as a Gabriel subsidy."

"No."

"I assumed as much," he acknowledges. Silence passes, but neither hang up.

"What are we now?" Marinette rubs at the fabric on one of Adrien's millions of pillows. It's soft and slips between her fingers. Enemies? Friends? Colleagues? Partners?

"Criminals," is the singular answer. Marinette stops breathing.

 

_Murderers._

 

"I suppose I do owe you an explanation. I was working for you because Mr. Agreste was not accepting new interns or mentees. He wasn't in good enough health. He suggested that I work for you and you and I got along well so I didn't mind at all. I still met with him to discuss design, and then eventually it became business."

"And then he tried to recruit you into Hawk Moth's plans."

"Correct," Martin confirms. Gabriel was nothing if not consistent. "I knew your alter-ego at the time, but I never said anything to either of you. I thought the irony was funny."

"Hilarious."

"I admired Mr. Agreste but he was standing in my way. In our way. He was not ambitious because he was already at the top. He couldn't see potential like we can."

"What are you planning to do?" Marinette doesn't realize that she's trembling.

"I'm not going to terrorize Paris with hideous monsters, for starters. I have more subtle plans for my champions."

"You want to rule the world."

"Essentially. But I want it to be a place where superheroes don't have to exist. There won't be any need for fighting. No violence. I'm not going to hurt anyone." _Except Gabriel Agreste._

"You gave us back Chat Noir on purpose."

"Black suits Adrien better."

 

Marinette clings to one of the pillows. She didn’t understand Martin or why he was doing this. She just wanted everything to be over. She thought it would all have been over if Gabriel was gone. It wasn’t, and she’d taken a life. She couldn’t blame it on Martin. She couldn’t even blame it on Gabriel. She’d done it herself. The tears come from a deep, hollowed out place deep within her and she doesn’t even realize when Adrien curls up against her, his hand in her hair lulling her to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I'm sorry this took so long. FE3H and convention trips....


	24. Chapter 24

Adrien slides through the crowd slowly, everyone that knows him or knows who he is stops him to chat and he doesn’t decline. That’s all he’s here to do. The text invite to the Couture Week Wrap Party from the model partying groupchat had been a good enough excuse to leave the house again. It’s not that Adrien didn’t want to help Marinette, it’s just that he wasn’t sure that he could and he honestly just didn’t know what to do. He wanted to escape and this was the only way he knew how. What it could mean that he was uncomfortable with Ladybug right now was frankly terrifying and he didn’t want to think about it. He was used to not wanting to think about things and he was a self-proclaimed expert in _not thinking_. So when he’s confronted by someone’s phone in his face and a string of questions about Ladybug, it’s the opposite of what he wanted.

“Please contact my publicist,” Adrien keeps trying to turn away from the phone but the man attached to it follows him in earnest circles.

“Your girlfriend killed your dad.”

“No comment,” Adrien glances around, hoping for a convenient group of people to slip into.

“How do you feel about that?” the assault keeps going.

“I said my father was bad news and nobody listened,” Adrien knew better than to answer, but he was getting really annoyed. He was too sober to deal with this. 

“Ladybug obviously did!”

“Please contact my publicist,” Adrien sighs just before one of the dancing partiers drunkenly spins into him and they go crashing to the ground. _Still lucky._

 

It wasn’t a stranger. It was far from that. Luka Couffaine. _Yep. Super lucky._

“Watch where you’re standing, Tiger,” Luka rolls off of him with a heavy groan. Adrien rubs his wrist as he sits up even though it wasn’t hurt, and then hopes that Luka hadn’t seen him do it. People were helping them up. Luka’s arm slides tightly around Adrien’s shoulder and the rockstar pushes the paparazzi’s phone away as they disappear into the commotion. Adrien lets Luka guide him out of the party, into an empty back room. He’s on full alert, taking stock of every possible exit as Luka’s arm slides away.

“Thanks? I guess?”

“Is MDC shutting down?” Adrien can see the fire behind Luka’s eyes.

“I don’t know,” it’s the truth. Apparently Martin had made it so that Marinette had the possibility of bringing the brand back, but Adrien knew the business just as well as Marinette did. Her reputation was damaged, and it always would be.

“What are you doing here? Gabe _died_ and you came out to what, celebrate?” Luka crosses his arms. It makes Adrien remember Viperion. Viperion telling him to stop flirting with Ladybug. Viperion complaining that he wasn’t around during the week. Viperion blaming him for akumas. Viperion accusing him of hurting Ladybug. Viperion attacking him with no explanations or accusations at all. Fighting Viperion over Ladybug. Adrien consciously keeps himself from touching his wrist again. He didn’t like that Adrien’s friend turned out to also be Chat’s personal nemesis. It was difficult to reconcile.

“I need to keep up public appearances,” Adrien lies, meeting Luka’s stare.

 

“So you left her alone?”

“Ladybug can take care of herself. You should know that.”

“And _you_ should-” Luka stops himself. Silence passes between them. One or two beats stretches into nearly a minute. Adrien is feeling more confident, but still uncomfortable. He’s pushed down his feelings about Viperion. Luka doesn’t have a miraculous, and Luka can’t hurt him.

“She will be okay. I believe in her,” Adrien says cooly.

“That’s putting too much pressure on her. Your _stupid_ blind faith in Ladybug makes you so stupid. Don’t you know her at all? Even if you’re glad Gabe’s dead, she’d mourn him,” Luka looks _sad_. Incomprehensibly sad. Adrien doesn’t understand it. He never understands what Viperion is talking about. He still doesn’t even understand what happened to the hero. 

_Gabe_?

“You were close with my father?” Adrien frowns, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re such a selfish prick, Chat.”

“I know,” Adrien says softly. What kind of group of minions had his father amassed, anyway? People like Luka and Martin… how had he turned people so smart and dedicated and full of promise? Was Luka colluding with Martin? “It was the new Moth’s plan to murder my father. If you want to be angry at anyone for my father’s death, that’s who you should blame.”

“You’re such a goddamn liar, just like you always were,” Luka groans. Adrien swallows. “What’d Mari do when she figured out it was you? Did she realize how much of a traitor you were?”

“She hugged me,” Adrien answers simply. Just out of spite. It’s not a lie, but he knew it would get under Luka’s skin. He _really_ wanted a drink. He's ready for the punch that comes flying. It felt good to fight. It'd been a while since he was in a good old normal-person brawl.

 

* * *

 

“Hello Ladybug,” Chat Noir bends over the couch to kiss Ladybug on the cheek. It wasn’t very late but he still wanted to suggest she go to sleep.

“You saw Luka?”

“Damn, word gets around fast! Claws in,” and Plagg floats away, nonplussed.

“It’s onli… you fought,” Ladybug frowns, taking in the state of his face without the mask. There was just a scrape at his eyebrow from a ring or something, but the affected areas were probably a little swollen by now.

“Not my first go-around with Vipey,” Adrien curls one side of his mouth into a gracious smirk, “Adrien doesn’t have a lot of real friends, but Luka was always distant enough that I never had to specifically push him out or anything… it’s a little harder to be amicable now that we know what our real history is.”

“He knows that you are Chat Noir?”

“I’m assuming either my father or Martin told him. He knew at that gala where I…” Adrien’s heart starts to race and he pushes the whole line of thinking out of the way. It’s probably not an appropriate topic for Ladybug’s emotional state, either. Evidenced by the fact that she was Ladybug right now at all, in the safety of their home. Without threat.

“You…” Ladybug sits up, hesitant. He sits down so that he’s closer to being on her level instead of towering above. “You’re Adrien, so you know the snake…”

“I’d say,” he laughs dismissively. Ladybug frowns.

 

“It broke him. I shouldn’t… say this to anyone but it broke him. I don’t know when it was or why… but he started to think he was from a different reality, or he would get timelines confused. And he acted like a different person and had heartbreak over things that weren’t real and talk about things that aren’t real. I don’t… think this Luka is the same version that Adrien may have been friends with. I just don’t know,” she explains, “That’s what happened. The distilled version.”

“Me and Vipey didn’t get along from the beginning. We would have fought anyway, just as ex and new boyfriend. But thanks for telling me. I’ve always wondered. I might have hated him, but I knew Vipey wasn’t the type to just turn evil out of nowhere.” Adrien wouldn’t have noticed if Luka _was_ insane the past few years, given how they only ever met up inebriated at events. But even so, Luka didn’t seem particularly crazy to him in the same way that his father had put on a front of normalcy for the world. Maybe having that small shred of hope that they could fix things back to the way they thought it all should be was the thin tether to reality needed to become a supervillain. Adrien wonders what Martin’s hope is.

“He’s not evil,” Ladybug mumbles, not making eye contact.

“He seemed genuinely upset about my father. He was mad that I wasn’t grieving and he was mad that I wasn’t with you... Maybe he was right.”

“I just wanted Tikki to shut up.”

“What?”

“Why I’m Ladybug,” she tilts her head to the side knowingly. Adrien laughs. He understood the feeling.

“That’s okay. I love Ladybug. You can be Ladybug all the time for all I care. Or Marinette. Whatever,” he smiles.

“There’s no difference.”

“There isn’t,” Adrien agrees.

 

Ladybug watches Adrien carefully as he stands back up and goes to his wall of movies. Not grieving, he had said. The nervous rub at his wrist, the constant fiddling with his hair. The fact that he’d fought with someone seemingly for no reason at all but to fight. That wasn’t unheard of for Adrien Agreste, it actually seemed fairly in-line with his celebrity persona. But Ladybug knew him better than that, now. She turns a page in her sketchbook and starts writing. She’d filled half of the book over the last few days, trying to get everything out.

“Everyone was talking about Elie Saab. Apparently that was the one the models liked,” Adrien says conversationally, rubbing some fingers through the short hair at the base of his neck as he searched out whatever bluray he was looking for. Ladybug knew the models were _wrong_.

“I thought Valentino was better. Piccioli.”

“Those were the color gowns, right?” Adrien continues. _Why is he talking about this?_

“Yeah. Way better than what I originally had planned.”

“Margot did Van Herpen, she said it was the weirdest thing she’s ever worn in her life.”

“Margot?”

“Yeah, uh you put her in the blue person makeup when we did that alien-y photoshoot a few years ago with the sequins. The ad ran in Elle internationally, I think.”

“You remember that?” Ladybug asks. She still couldn’t place who Margot was. She didn’t really know many of her models by name.

“Yep. Do you want to watch _Trois couleurs: Bleu_? It’s got Juliette Binoche in it,” he holds up a disc case like any of those words meant anything to her.

“Who?” she knows that Adrien is going to groan at her before he does.

“She’s an icon!” he laments. Ladybug laughs and with the way his face lights up she knows it’s the first time she’s laughed in days. Maybe that’s all he had been trying to do, talking about something he knew she was interested in and acting as normal as possible.

 

She didn’t pay attention to very much of the film in the beginning. There was a lot of depressing stuff going on and she didn’t need it. Instead, Ladybug keeps writing her letter to Adrien. When she finishes, she rips it out of the book and sets it on the table. She didn’t want to interrupt his film viewing, it could wait. She lets her transformation go and starts a new letter, another to Martin. This one has fewer questions in it than the last dozen. It doesn’t have as many accusations. Maybe that means something positive. When the film’s main character (Juliette Binoche, probably) suddenly freezes while getting out of the pool, Ladybug looks up at the sudden music change. The woman slides back down into the water and curls in on herself like she will drown.

“That’s what it’s like,” Adrien says it quietly. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about but she keeps watching now anyway. The mood matches and feels comfortable with her own. It was a good movie choice. Adrien had obviously selected it with purpose, trying to say something or trying to help. It was like he was trying to communicate with everything he had but all he had was a wall of movies.

 

“Do you want to go out to eat breakfast tomorrow? A cafe or- hey, do your parents still own that bakery? I never asked.”

“They’re retired. Still live there, though. I couldn’t convince them to move,” Marinette tells him softly. The movie’s ended and they sat in contemplative silence for a while. She’s not sure she’s ready to have a conversation yet.

“Do they know that you’re Ladybug?” Adrien looks nervous asking that question.

“No,” a shake of the head results in his shoulders slumping. Adrien just wore his emotions on his sleeve. Unapologetically presented them to everyone at all times. She wishes she could be like that.

“So I guess I can’t meet them, huh?” he sighs with acceptance and it takes Marinette a moment to realize why. Adrien was dating Ladybug, not Marinette.

“You want to?”

“It’s not a big deal. Just you is more than enough for me. It’s already more than I ever dreamed I could have.”

“I’m sorry.”   
“Don’t apologize when I’m basically thanking you!” Adrien chuckles, it’s deep and genuine, “So, breakfast?”

“Are you trying to tell me to go to sleep?”

“I don’t know if there are any places for breakfast open at three in the morning,” he grins. It warms her. All of him nourishes her heart, and she’d never realized how much he did because she’d never needed it before. Did she do the same for him? Was she really more than enough, like he said?

“Adrien,” his face turns back to her expectantly, “I love you,” and he brightens with giddy happiness, unhidden and unreserved, “I don’t know that I’d always be able to go on without you by my side.”

“I’m all yours, bugster.”

 

Adrien isn’t done speaking, but Marinette crosses the gap between them to press her lips against his. It’s a gentle outpouring of emotion, so unlike the throes of despair that she’d privately nestled into between his arms all week. Adrien was a little surprised to find his body responding so quickly to the contact. He hadn’t thought about it, not once, but he should have known better. He wasn’t a stranger to drowning pain with pleasures. He wouldn’t let her do that, probably, but Marinette’s soft confession before let him know that this was something deeper than just that. She needed _him_ , not an escape. Adrien pulls her into his lap, hand tight at her back. He doesn’t let their mouths part- nibble to her lip or a suck on a tongue. Marinette pushes him away, a finger smartly pressed against his adam’s apple. She gazes at him for a second, just a second, her face flushed and dreamy. Adrien locks the image into his heart, never wanting to let it go.

“I’m yours, too,” is her breathy whisper. Adrien’s chest tightens with a quick lurch of emotion. He stands, Marinette still wrapped around him, his hands under her thighs to support her. He presses kisses to her cheek. Her apology sits on the coffee table as they pass it, he doesn’t need it. He doesn’t need anything other than what he has in his arms at all.

 

* * *

 

“So we don’t know what his motivations are, how dangerous he’s going to be, or what even to call him?” Alya taps the eraser of her pencil to her chin, “We have no idea what we are dealing with and he knows who the two of you are. This is a serious disadvantage.”

“Yeah,” Adrien grimaces. At least with Gabriel, they more or less knew what to expect. Martin was just a huge question mark, “My father had some sort of bomb, I don’t know if Martin knows about it or if he has control of that now.”

“I searched the mansion, I didn’t see anything that could be like that. His computers and stuff are with the authorities now,” Marinette explains.

“We don’t know what they’ve found,” Alya agrees, looking to Nino. He just shrugs.

“So how do we handle this?” Adrien prompts.

“I hate to say this, but I think we just have to wait for something to happen.”

“More fighting,” Adrien sounds sad.

“Maybe not,” Marinette interrupts before Alya can respond, “He said he didn’t want to fight. When I offered him a miraculous before, he said he didn’t want to fight. Like, physically fight.”

“That just means that the Butter Mira is a good fit for him,” Nino says.

“Then what are we supposed to do?” Adrien frowns.

“If we don’t know what his goal is, we don’t know what to look for. He could be mind-controlling half of the government right now and we wouldn’t even know,” Alya writes that down as she says it.

“Can’t we… talk to Martin?” Nino offers, and then turns to her, “Mari can, right?”

 

Adrien watches Marinette stare at her friend in an anxious sort of shock.

“That’s probably not the best right now,” Alya says before he can come up with his own reason besides the fact that it would just be painful for Marinette, “He’s smart. He won’t give us anything we can use right now. Whatever his plan is, he’s going to try to lead us in the wrong direction.

“I spoke to him,” Marinette whispers.

“You did what?” Adrien can’t help himself. 

“He seems like he wants us to work with him. I think…”

“You think that’s why he brought Black Lion with him last time?” Nino asks, “So we could get Chat Noir back?”

“Yes,” Marinette’s voice is small, “Peace offering.”

“Well. Since there’s not anything we can do yet, let’s go have fun instead,” Adrien speaks up. He’s in charge of guarding Marinette’s heart right now and much more of this is going to be more than she needs.

“Fun? What were you thinking of doing for fun, Monsieur Man of the Year?” Alya smirks. Adrien grins back.

 

* * *

 

“I can’t believe you own a boat dude,” Nino passes him one of the sodas. Alya and Marinette were standing by the railing, pointing out at the city and laughing about something. It was a relief to see Marinette laughing. It was a good idea to take her to her friends.

“I went through a phase where I lived here,” Adrien tells him.

“How’s Mari?” Nino nods over at the two women.

“I don’t know what to do. Her ex even had to tell me not to leave her by herself,” he admits, because he feels guilty about it.

“Nah, Vipes?”

“Beat me up at a party,” Adrien grins. Nino shakes his head. “She seems better.”

“Mari keeps stuff to herself.”

“I noticed.”

“How are you doing?”

“Fine.”  
“You sure? It’s your dad that died.”

“Did my statement not make it into the gossip cycle yet?” Adrien laughs, pulling out his phone to check, “I’m good. I’m way more worried about Marinette.”

“Well… just let us know if there’s anything we can do.”

 

“What’s it like with him? Chaton?” Alya teases, looking at Marinette over the rims of her glasses.

“I know. It’s still hard to believe it’s him sometimes, but… it’s good. It feels right.”

“And you’re able to move past everything between you guys?”

“Yeah… it’s not even something we think about. It feels so much better this way than it did when we were fighting. I was wrong not to trust him. It’s just… natural.”

“Sex, too?”

“Alya!”

“Come on, he’s _Adrien Agreste_! It’s supposed to be good,” Alya winks. Marinette blushes.

“I don’t… it’s love, not… whatever people said about him in the tabloids.”

“So it’s not good?”

“It’s _great_ , shut up!” Marinette hides her face and Alya bursts into laughter.


	25. Chapter 25

> Hundreds of us were akumatized, but I always thought that I might be my father’s favorite victim. He spent my childhood controlling and conditioning me and when I rejected Hawk Moth, he manipulated and blackmailed me so that I was powerless. He created a world where people wouldn’t listen to me. I’ve been afraid and I’ve been lonely. I won’t say my life was hard, because it wasn’t, but it was painful. Ladybug saved me from that. She saved all of us, and it was for all of us. I respectfully request to not discuss my father anymore. I don’t want anyone to celebrate his life or his work now that he is gone. I wish my best to Gabriel and MDC fashion houses, and all other partners and associates of my father’s. I believe we can all move on with respect and pride in our own accomplishments, our city, and our heroes. I hope that now we will all be able to live in peace together.

 

“Marinette?” Adrien lets himself into the bathroom. It’s been a while since the water stopped running and he was worried. He didn’t know where Plagg and Tikki had gotten off to, so he couldn’t ask them to check on her for him. There wasn’t an answer. He pulls back the shower curtain to find her predictably sitting in the shower stall, still wet. Adrien retrieves a towel and silently dries her hair with it. Adrien wrestles internally with himself. Should he stay quiet or say something? He didn’t want to make it worse. He makes a mental note to ask the internet later, but he’ll try and stay quiet for now. If he were in Marinette’s place, he’d probably be drowning himself in like, heroin, or something. Whatever he could get his hands on. Marinette wasn’t at all like he was. She’d barely eaten anything more than necessary. She’d allowed herself nothing comforting at all unless he forced it on her. Adrien’s phone goes off and he drapes the towel over her head before standing up to answer. He’s surprised when it isn’t Charles.

 

“Hey kitten,” Martin greets. Adrien glances down at Marinette before stepping out of the room. She wasn’t going anywhere.

“I think maybe you  _ are _ hitting on me,” Adrien banters, careful.

“I wouldn’t do that to Marinette.”

_Destroying her in other ways is fine?_ Adrien admonishes in his head.

“MDC should-”

“How did you get this number?” Adrien doesn’t want to listen to any bullshit that Martin has to say to him. Especially about MDC. It really doesn’t matter, and it’d just make him angry.

“Her cloud sync,” is the matter-of-fact reply. It turns Adrien’s stomach a little. How much did Marinette sync from her phone or her tablet that Martin had access to? Texts? Emails?

“I read your press release,” Martin says when he realizes Adrien isn’t going to do his part to keep the conversation moving, “Was it meant for me?”

“Partly.”

“You’re smart.”

“Much smarter than you think,” Adrien warns, his voice low.

“I like this part at the end.  _ Together _ . That implies a certain amount of cooperation, doesn’t it?”

“We are not going to use our miraculous to help you in any way.”

 

“Wow. I was just kindly extending you a job offer. I’m willing to bet that there aren’t a lot of opportunities knocking down your door at the moment,” Martin says. He’s not wrong. Adrien’s own reputation had taken a soft hit out of his close association with MDC, and maybe designers were steering clear because of the Hawk Moth being his dad thing. Not to mention his age. It would be safer to choose any other model right now. It was just like how it was after his scandal with Kagami, when Marinette took the risk on him. Martin was offering it now but in the name of Gabriel Agreste. With what was surely his father’s clothing. It’s not like Adrien had to work. It could be a relief, retiring. He wouldn’t have to worry about his appearance or playing friendly with the press. But work was the only part of his life that still made sense in its own twisted way. Even more than Chat Noir, sometimes.   
“Please contact my agent and I will at least consider it,” even though the thought of actually wearing Gabriel brand clothing makes him nauseous. 

“I look forward to it.”

 

* * *

 

“What are you thinking about?” Adrien opens the small box of cookies he bought for Marinette on his way back from the meeting with the police and his legal team. She was perched in his- their- windowsill like Ladybug had before they were dating.

“Alexander McQueen,” Marinette actually answers him. She was swinging emotionally, sometimes it felt like she was fine and then other times she certainly wasn’t. Right now it seemed like he was safe.

“They didn’t even show at Couture Week.”

“But they are asking to hire some of my people,” Marinette explains, “I have to make a decision and I can barely think. My head’s just… You went out to do something, right? How was it?”

“My interview with the cops? I’m not in jail, so…” Adrien shrugs with a smirk.

“You’d be able to post bond either way,” she frowns at him. They’d discussed it before but he didn’t blame her for the memory lapse.

“Yeah, and I regularly do! But not today. I’m not being charged with conspiracy to murder or with hiring a hitman or anything like the tabloids think. Free to go. Victim.”

“I didn’t kill him because of you…” Marinette shakes her head. Adrien knows that’s not entirely true but he will let her say whatever she needs to say.

“If you hadn’t, I would have,” he doesn’t feel guilty admitting that about himself for maybe the millionth time in the past few weeks. He should have been the one to do it. He was the one who had  _ wanted to _ , “Here, please eat one of these cookies. I can’t have them all by myself.”

“You wouldn’t eat any at all if I didn’t,” Marinette calls him on the lie and he pointedly picks up a rather large-sized cookie and fits the whole of it into his mouth. She watches him struggle to chew, eyebrow raised in amusement that would typically be hearty laughter.

“Come on. Have one,” Adrien pressures once he’s managed to swallow. He feels triumphant when Marinette picks out one of the cookies for herself.  _ The small victories will add up eventually _ , he hopes.

 

* * *

 

It’s the middle of Group when he realizes that support groups other than his exist. He approaches the leader privately after the session is done with and asks about the grief support group schedule. The leader’s eyes shine and his forehead raises in an exaggerated sympathy for the loss of his father. Adrien graciously plays along. It would be too rude to tell someone that was only trying to be kind that he was glad the old fogy was gone. Hadn’t anyone besides  _ fucking Martin _ read his statement? And he goes home with a few brochures about grief and guilt and the support group schedule. It’s not cookies, but maybe it could still help. When he gets back, Marinette is doing something with the yarn that he’d inconspicuously left for her. Adrien shakes Plagg out of his leather jacket and winks.

 

“I’m home.”

“Cha-adrien!” Marinette starts with surprise. She hadn’t expected him back so soon, but she also had no idea how long it had been. At least he didn’t bring more sugar back this time. It was making her jittery when all she really wanted to do was sleep. Adrien smiles sheepishly at her.

“What’s going on?” he asks, gesturing at her millions of pom-poms.

“Oh, I’m-” one of aforementioned pom-poms collides with her cheek and one hits Adrien too. He recovers faster, catching the yarn ball and hurdling it into the air back at Plagg. Tikki joins the unexpected yarn-ball fight too and the four of them throw the little poufs around at each other until Adrien collapses dramatically on the floor, laughing and out of breath. Marinette catches herself smiling too. Plagg settles on the table, clutching one of the pom-poms to his little body and rolling around. Tikki and Marinette collect the rest of them from around the room, and Adrien pitches in once he realizes that he’s not helping. 

“He won’t say, but he loves these kinds of things,” Adrien’s smile is soft as he places his collection of balls on the table, “Yarn.”

“It was fun!” Plagg defends, despite now being tangled in the string. 

“It was,” Marinette agrees. Her boyfriend beams at her in relief and affection for him flutters softly in her chest. She thinks that Adrien’s eyes might’ve even  _ twinkled _ . How is he able to do that? Adrien sets to work on helping free Plagg from his new self-created yarn prison, much to Plagg’s dismay. It was a struggle.

“Come on, we already went over this. The yarn’s for LB, not you,” Adrien sighs at Plagg, confirming her suspicions that Adrien was sneakily trying to find things for her to do. It was cute. He was so sweet.

 

“There we go,” Adrien finally frees his secretly delighted kwami. They were pretending to hate it, but they were both privately happy to tease each other. The dynamic was so easy. Marinette thinks she gets now why Adrien had reacted so strangely to Roaar. The blonde removes his leather jacket and puts his hands on his hips, letting out a fakely annoyed puff.

“Guess I’ll go play with  _ my own yarn _ , then,” Plagg grumbles, his acting a little better than Adrien’s as he floats into Tikki’s waiting embrace. Adrien smirks, making eye contact with her.

“So what are these?” he gestures at the dozens of blue yarn pom-poms on the table. There were more of them than she remembered making.

“Pom-poms…”

“And what do you do with them? Besides snowball fights?” he asks, a laugh tinting his voice.

“I don’t really know. I was going to make a pillow, I think? You like pillows, s-so I… it was just something to do. Like it’s um… distracting? Repetitive. Sit down, I’ll show you,” Marinette isn’t sure why she offers but Adrien obediently sits next to her. She snips a small length of yarn.

“Hold out your hand,” she directs him and he does. She takes his palm in hers, draping the piece of string between his fingers. Marinette can’t help but notice how his hands are soft and elegant.  _ This is Adrien Agreste. _ She still can’t believe it sometimes. Shaking that off, she takes the (rather unraveled, thanks to Plagg) ball of yarn and winds it carefully around his fingers. Adrien stays quiet, watching. Their heads hang close together over their project in comfortable companionship. Thinking she wrapped enough times, she cuts the string and finds the first cutting and ties it off.

“Wiggle your fingers out,” Marinette smiles at him, tugging on the bunch of yarn as Adrien does what he’s told. She catches the loops with her scissors and snips twice, presenting him with the resulting ball.

“That’s amazing,” Adrien says with awe in his voice. And he really does sound impressed, like a young child who just saw the most incredible magic trick of their life. Adrien’s smile is wide and sincere and it breaks something down inside of her. She feels compelled to share everything with him. He was her partner and she trusted him.

 

“I don’t know what to do about MDC,” the words spill out of Marinette completely unprompted, “I have to decide. I can’t put it off.”

“What… are the options that you’re considering?” Adrien asks carefully. He doesn’t want to give her advice that isn’t even related to what’s happening in her head but he does know exactly what he wants to say. He knows what she really wants.

“Well… it’s either that I close or I don’t. I was prepared to close but…”

“He gave you an option now,” Adrien understands. Just the fact that she was hesitating now meant that she wasn’t prepared to give up.

“I just thought my business would be the price…”

“You’d feel guilty if you didn’t pay it, but you don’t have to feel guilty. There isn’t a price,” he frowns, taking her hands and squeezing them softly, “You don’t owe him anything.”

“But still… and now the reputation…” she avoids his gaze, looking instead at the yarn balls littering the table.

“I wanted… I wanted to be an actor. Like my mom. Like Kagami is. It was impossible because of Chat and I majored in business and my luck is shit and all those other things, but I still regret it. If making clothes is your dream, you… Ladybug wouldn’t hesitate,” he says. Marinette’s eyes meet his, flickering with something. Determination, Adrien hopes, “If it doesn’t work out, you haven’t lost anything. It’s better than not trying. I think that’s what you’d say to me if our positions were reversed.”

 

* * *

 

“I’m not even stressed or excited anymore, I am just ready for this to be  _ over _ . I am  _ done _ ,” Alya complains dramatically over her swollen belly. Marinette giggles and rolls her eyes. Adrien had offered on his own to invite them over even though he still didn’t want anyone knowing where he lived. She wasn’t above recognizing that it was another thing he was doing to try and care for her, and he wasn’t wrong. Seeing her friends definitely helped. Nino had work, but Alya had jumped at the chance to come see ‘What kinda penthouse a kajillion euros gets.’

“People are so annoying, Mari. Everybody wants to tell you what to do about everything all the time and I am sick of it. I’d almost want to do the opposite of everything people have said to me just out of spite,” Alya says. That was definitely something Marinette could understand.

“But you won’t.”

“Nah, I won’t,” is the disgruntled sigh, “I do want the kid to outlive me, after all.”

“That’s… generally how it works,” Marinette looks over in the direction of the office where Adrien had holed himself away to give them some girl time alone together.

“How is he?” Alya catches her looking. Marinette smiles.

“Free.”

“How are you? Did you decide about your label?”

“Yeah.  _ We _ decided,” Marinette closes her eyes, “We’re going to fight. I’m going to use MDC to fight Martin. I think he…”

“You think he’s going to use Gabriel for whatever he’s doing?”

“And MDC is going to use Ladybug. And Chat,” Marinette nods affirmatively. Alya frowns and then sighs.

“I guess you know what you’re doing, girl.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rounding out to the end fellas thanks for sticking around I hope some stuff here was cute


	26. Chapter 26

Ladybug slides the jacket elegantly around her shoulders, winking as she spins her wire and swings gracefully into a door. Women then file back out of the door, each teasing an obviously lovestruck Adrien Agreste as they pass him by. Marinette smiles softly to herself as her logo lights up, and she glances over to where the real Adrien has set himself up on the couch.

“I feel like you are already sold out of leather jackets,” he waves his hands in the air mystically. Marinette giggles. He was such a goof, no matter how incredibly talented he’d turned out to be at helping MDC the past few weeks. Of course he had two degrees in business but she’d never really thought too much about it before. She’d been a little ashamed of her surprise at how good his marketing proposal had been. Adrien had done more than that, though. He was insanely creative, but in a different way from her. He was able to come up with so many ideas and scenarios and think of situations and needs that no one at MDC had ever addressed before. The ad campaign was his, too. Adrien wanted to beat Gabriel in sales, over and over again- until they were the ones buying Martin out instead. The sister commercial to the Ladybug one (for the men’s line) was airing during the next commercial break.

“Leather jackets will never go out of style now.”

“I don’t think there was much danger of that to start with, Bugster,” Adrien grins at her. 

“Who knows? Maybe everyone will decide that 40s prep-”

“Like Gabriel’s autumn line?” Adrien interrupts her jest with his own and Marinette laughs brightly. The pleased expression on her boyfriend’s face sends a relaxing warmth through her shoulders.

 

_This is what being happy is._

 

And tonight, she didn’t feel guilty for feeling that way. Adrien tilts his perfect jaw back at the television and Marinette turns to watch the second 15-sec spot. Adrien hanging out in some dark, party-looking place with a bunch of other dudes. He had made some real friends now, too. Quickly and naturally. He’d been holding himself back for so long out of fear. The ease and readiness he’d slid into a completely new lifestyle now that his father was gone- _don’t think about that_. The commercial is running- bros doing dude stuff and looking remarkably cool in their MDC getups. At the end, Ladybug’s hand appears to take grasp of Adrien’s. Sparkling logo.

Marinette didn’t like it as much as the message with the ladies’ line but it’d tested really well in the target demographic- which was the point. According to Adrien, at least. She’d just have to trust him on that stuff.

“Shit, even I’m jealous of me,” he’s commenting now, voice open and light.

“Nobody else could even dream of being Ladybug’s trophy boyfriend,” she banters, gathering the remnants of their Greek takeaway.

“Hm. Maybe Chat Noir.”

“Oh shut up,” Marinette laughs. Adrien looks proud of himself anyway, with his dumb sparkling smile and glittering eyes.

 

* * *

 

Marinette woke up alone. It wasn’t common now, even if Adrien always woke up first. He had mentioned something about having some sort of meeting that morning, so Marinette didn’t even begin to worry about him until midday. They were supposed to go to the 1pm showing of some arthouse film from Asia at the Grand Rex. He’d been so excited about it, for whatever reason that he got excited about stuff like that. _So where is he now?_ Adrien hadn’t made any moves in their phone games or responded to her texts. When 1:00 comes and goes, the worry pulls harder in her gut. _What if something happened to him?_

 

She calls Adrien’s manager Charles from her Ladybug phone but learns that he didn’t have anything scheduled on his calendar for the day at all. That _really_ makes her worry. Why would he lie about something like that? What was he keeping from her? It was probably just a haircut or the dentist- some other sort of appointment outside of work that Charles wouldn’t know of. That had to be it.

 

Because the only other explanation is Martin, who doesn’t answer his phone, either- and when she calls the offices at Gabriel, someone politely tells her that Martin has stepped out for a while. So both of them were missing. Marinette turns on the news, and Tikki watches with her. Harboring just as much concern as she wrings her little flippers. Marinette’s completely prepared to hear a story along the lines of some altercation between Chat Noir and the new Hawk Moth. Instead, it is some boring narration about more flooding in Venice. Marinette sighs, looking back down at her phone. She calls Nino next, who thankfully answers his phone after a few rings.

 

“Adrien is missing. Have you heard anything from him?”

“I uh… maybe. I’ll have to look. Missing _how_?”

“He’s not here and nobody knows where he is,” Marinette is aware of how panicked she sounds, “He won’t answer his phone.”

“How long has it been? This is _Adrien_ . Maybe he lost his phone somewhere and is stranded. He’ll figure it out, he can take care of himself. Isn’t he notorious for disappearing, anyway?” Nino is speaking words of sense, but it doesn’t help to soothe Marinette’s worry. She _knows_ that something is wrong. It has to be.

“He wouldn’t just abandon me-”

“He would. Mari. Don’t forget that he’s Noir. He does that all the time. Dating you doesn’t change who he is, does it?”

“But things are different now!” she snaps defensively, but her stomach twists at the truth of what her friend is saying, “Okay. Sorry. Can you just… help me look for him?”

“Not right now,” Nino’s voice is soft and bashful, “We’re at the hospital…”

“What?” Marinette almost shouts, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We were going to tell you first once the baby’s here? It’s no use for _everyone_ to stand around waiting,” Nino offers placatingly. Marinette knows she’s not invited to the birth itself because something or another the dula said before, but she’d expected to at least know when her best friends-slash-crime-fighting-partners went into labor with their child! She temporarily manages to push down her feelings of hurt.

 

“How is Alya doing?”

“So far, so good. I guess. We are on a break and are going to try pushing again soon,” Nino reports, sounding pretty cheerful about it.

“Good luck to both of you,” Marinette does find a small smile on her lips. She can’t bring herself to be mad about it. She is so excited for this baby, and excited for Alya and Nino to be parents.

“I swear I’ll call as soon as it happens,” Nino vows seriously, “And don’t worry too much about your cat, okay? I’m sure he’ll turn up soon.”

Marinette holds in her ‘but what about Martin’ and ends the call, making eye contact with Tikki.

“Alya’s in labor,” Marinette shares and Tikki cheers with delight, flying in a happy little loop. It lightens the worried feeling in Marinette’s chest. Tikki would always be there to comfort her, no matter what. The kwami was her most valuable and honest confidant, and dearest friends.

“So Nino can’t help look for Adrien right now, but he thinks this is just Adrien goofing off like Chat does… he wouldn’t do that, right? Not now.”

“I don’t know, Marinette,” her little red friend’s smile fades with new concern. She knew Tikki would share her apprehension.

“Should I be worried? What if Martin has him and he’s waiting for me to rescue him?”

“Do you think Martin would hurt him?” Tiki frowns, now deep in thought.

“No,” Marinette’s surprised to hear herself say. She sits down slowly on the couch. Maybe Nino had a point. Maybe she shouldn’t get so worked up yet. Adrien Agreste _did_ have bad luck. He _did_ quite often go missing. Chat Noir, too. Maybe he was just having some zany experience ( _how typical of him_ ) that tied him up somewhere and his phone was probably out of batteries.

 

* * *

 

His watch was stopped too. Maybe it ran out of batteries? Did watches run on batteries? This was a brand new Bvlgari watch! You’d think for the thousands of euro it cost, they could put in a very strong fancy battery. So he had no idea, due to the incident with his phone, what time it was. But he was sure that he was late, very late, for his movie date with Ladybug. His phone looked like it should still work, so it was especially annoying that it wasn’t. Adrien dropped it down the elevator shaft when he came in to Gabriel that morning for his meeting with Martin. It had been a whole big thing. Martin insisted they retrieve it and had the elevator mechanic come out and everything. In the end, the phone was dead despite the only visible damage being how scratched up the screen protector was now. Martin had then invited him to lunch as an apology ( _for what?_ ), and because their original allotted meeting time was already over. Whatever the circumstances, his tickets would go unused and his plans for the day ruined. Marinette probably didn’t give two shits about missing the movie, but she’d be annoyed to not hear from him like this. Adrien had considered asking to borrow Martin’s phone to contact her, but he still doesn’t really want Marinette to know that he decided to do this.

 

Martin, despite the MDC commercial airing the night before, was still trying to sell him on working for the company. With some father-son legacy/spite bullshit or something. Martin had all the angles prepared.

“What I don’t get,” Adrien changes the subject. He’s explicitly rejected the idea of working for Gabriel thrice now, “is what you’re doing. What is your angle? What do you want? And why do I have to be there?”

“Because you’re Adrien Agreste.”

“My name is Jean St. Martin,” Adrien can’t help but grin.

“It is? How boring,” Martin looks equally bemused and disgusted. At least he got it.

“What about you? Keeping Hawky’s name?” Adrien asks casually, taking a not so careful sip of Perrier and only dribbling a little of it onto his chest. Martin leas over the table with a cloth napkin to daub at Adrien’s lapel. Their eyes meet. A chill runs up Adrien’s spine and he can swallow the tension in the air.

 

“Croque-Mitaine.” _Boogeyman_.

 

Martin says it with such seriousness and it’s so ridiculous that Adrien immediately bursts into loud laughter that obviously disturbs the other restaurant patrons. Martin falls back into his own chair with a deep, dismayed frown. _Has this guy never read a comic book in his life?_ Adrien eventually catches his breath but leaves on his wide grin since the offense was already made. Martin looks ready with a defense but Adrien beats him there.

“I’ve been calling you Fantôme Violet to myself, that’s much better. Do you like it? Maybe you don’t want a name from your nemesis, but it suits you much more,” Adrien grins madly to himself, watching Martin carefully. He knows Martin’s understood his challenge, he’s taken Martin’s name so Martin has to take his. It was some sort of weird power play, but mostly Adrien just thought it was funny.

“I suppose that is clever,” Martin concedes eventually, folding his fingers together on the table between them. “And why did you even agree to meet with me? And now? You’ve already aligned yourself with MDC.”

“As you are well aware, I’ve been MDC’s model for years. I work for other designers, too,” Adrien shrugs.

“Politically aligned with MDC, now,” Martin clarifies.

“I like leather,” Adrien chuckles.

“You have no intention of working with me, though. You never did,” Martin eyes him steadily for a few beats, “I can’t be associated with MDC, or have anyone so closely associated with MDC associated with me, not with what I am going to do.”

Adrien looks up from his nearly empty glass of fizzy water to meet Martin’s gaze.

“And what is that?”

Martin stands, straightening his jacket with a crisp tug, “I will be the last man standing.”

 

* * *

 

Adrien knows the paparazzi got him, and plenty of shots of him and Martin together. It was going to be in the gossip rotation before he knew it and Marinette would find out that he’d met Martin without her. He’d have to tell her upfront, right away. How that conversation would go, he wasn’t sure. He definitely wasn’t looking forward to it. He didn’t want Marinette to be angry with him. There was nothing that hurt more than Ladybug’s anger and he was still, somewhere deep in him, afraid that she would hate him. That she would reject him again. That he’d be left alone. It was probably a fear that would never go away. Adrien pauses, standing in front of the door to his own penthouse.

“If you didn’t want her to get mad, you wouldn’t do stuff you know she’d get mad about,” Plagg intones helpfully, _of course_ Plagg knew exactly what he was thinking. Adrien shakes it off and pulls up his courage. He has plenty of that, and it was better to get this over with. Adrien sighs and lets himself in. Marinette scrambles off the couch immediately.

“Adrien! Where were you?” and he can tell how worried she is and his pains him. He really doesn’t want this. He steps out of her hug with what he hopes is a sheepish grin.

 

“I dropped my phone down an elevator shaft and I got it back but we had to convert my meeting with Martin into a lunch one and it ran long and I’m sorry,” he says all at once, in a rush. Marinette searches his face for a few seconds. At least he seemed aware that he was in trouble.

“Martin?” she settles on, her voice trembling despite herself.

“Can I explain?” Adrien cringes, and the fact that he thought she wouldn’t let him explain makes Marinette _not_ want to in a short surge of vindictive anger at having been made to be so worried, at feeling so helpless.

“Martin is dangerous!” she doesn’t let him explain himself, then.

“I know but I can protect myself, I’m sure I could beat Martin alone if I had to,” any meekness that Adrien had been displaying wasn’t there anymore. He was calm, but on edge now. Defensive like he’d been _insulted_ or something. He runs his hands through his hair with agitation. He didn’t really have any right to be like that!

“You didn’t even tell me. We are a team! What if something happened to you?”

“That never really mattered to you before,” he crosses his arms across his chest in reflection of her own stance. Marinette’s reminded of some old rooftop arguments with Chat and those feelings flash red and hot behind her eyes. That’s exactly what this is. He _is_ Chat Noir, and they _have_ done this before. What Nino said to her earlier makes even more sense. It’s the same, whether or not they know each other’s identities or if they live together or are in love. The fighting feels the same.

 

Adrien watched Marinette’s eyes harden and her shoulders sag. He feels guilty although he can’t put his finger on why at the moment but he is dimly aware that he’ll regret all this later.

“You never trust me,” he puts in for good measure, just to rub in the fact that he’s won for once. It doesn’t feel good at all, though. He sees Marinette’s resolve come back and it’s a little like watching her transform into Ladybug only without the pink sparkles and red suit. Before she can say whatever she was prepared to attach him with, her phone rings. Adrien feels a little off-balance at the speed at which she tears away from the argument to answer it. He blinks in confusion as Marinette’s face lights up.

“Can I come?” she’s asking now. _What?_

“Alright… of course! … yes,” she turns a steely gaze on him again, “you were right, after all.”

“What was that?” Adrien presses when she hangs up. Marinette sighs and rubs her palm across an eye.

“The baby is here. We can go visit,” she says delicately.

“Nino?” Adrien blinks, a wave of unexpected excitement welling up in his throat. His anger is sliding away but he stubbornly wants to cling to the remainder in case he still needs it.

“Yeah. Do you think we can risk going together like this or should I get Ladybug?” Marinette is gathering her things.

“We can go separately. I think I need a few minutes to calm down,” he assuages. He wants to make up immediately, but his heart is still hammering in his chest and he doesn’t want things to do wrong. He knows if they start speaking again without time to reflect, they will just make things worse like they always have.

“Ladybug will bring you home,” she tells him as she leaves. Adrien sees it for the promise and the hope that it is. They’d be okay.

 

* * *

 

Congratulations were had all around and despite the excitement and steady flow of visitors, the baby itself had yet to make an appearance. The nurses apparently carted it away for checkups and had yet to return it. Alya was pouty about it, but too tired to really care. The nurses hadn’t really let her sleep yet, either. Poking and prodding. Nino and the dula were efficient at handling the visitors, so Marinette and Adrien found themselves temporarily kicked out. Marinette wasn’t really sure how it happened. She was really disappointed at not getting to hold her godchild yet, but the excitement was still there.

“Do you want to browse the gift shop with me? I can buy the new mommy some flowers,” Adrien sounds hesitant and unsure of himself in a way that makes Marinette’s heart ache. She couldn’t let this drag out. They had to talk about it. She gives him a nod and they are silent until they step into the elevator together and are safely alone.

“I was scared.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Adrien reaches for her hand but only has time to give it a light squeeze before the elevator stops and the doors open again. Marinette wishes they didn’t have to sneak around as civilians and be so secretive, but it was the price she had to pay to getting into this relationship with him the way that she had. And she wouldn’t trade it for the world. Marinette knew she’d already forgiven him and that he’d forgiven her too. They walk to the gift shop, sneaking glances at each other. Marinette wishes they could touch, embrace, share a kiss and reassure each other of how much they care about each other. She wants to properly make up, and not being able to be her real self with him because they were in public stung. She could tell that he felt similarly.

 

“What did Martin say?” Marinette finally asks as Adrien is comparing bouquets.

“He’s been hounding me to come into Gabriel for a meeting so I thought I’d get it over with. We set it up long before that commercial last night. I think he’s upset about it.”

“What else?”

“He wants to be called Fantôme Violet… oh! He tried to threaten me, so I think the paparazzi have a kissing photo, and he-”

“Kissing?” Marinette stops him.

“We didn’t, but the picture angle will make it look like we did and the papers will make a fuss about it,” Adrien tilts his head back and forth, considering the two bunches of flowers he’s picked out, “Which one will she like more?”

“This one. What else?”

“He said he’s going to do something. That’s all. He was pretty professional; paid for my lunch.”

“Sounds like a date,” Marinette teases with a smirk, “At least by Martin’s standards.”

“He helped me get my phone out of the elevator shaft at Gabriel, too. I just don’t think he’s cut out for the whole supervillain thing like my father was.”

“He is. He had to be fishing for something, or trying to make you feel like he’s not a threat,” Marinette tells him. She watches Adrien purchase the flowers and scribble on the tiny notecard. He flashes it at her with a cheshire grin.

“These are from me and Ladybug. You’re gonna have to get your own flowers, MDC.”

Marinette rolls her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter! Sorry for my absence, I was in too dark a place to think about ML stuff. This should be finished soon! Thanks for sticking with me so far.


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